From iVillage:
(the whole article is excellent.. but here are a few clips)
http://diet.ivillage.com/issues/iemo...6gf4td,00.html

"First, you must understand that your friend knows she has a problem. She is reminded of it at every turn: picking out clothes in the morning, struggling with her choices at breakfast, squeezing into a seat on the bus, overhearing colleagues' whispered comments, etc. The world won't let her forget that she's overweight. Therefore, for you to say, "I'm concerned about your weight," is not going to be the opening to a productive conversation. No matter how sincere your concern or genuine your desire to help, you risk putting your friend on the defensive."

and

"Finally, don't let your friend's weight problem become your problem. As a friend, you are there to support her- not to become her personal trainer, nutritionist, mom or shrink."

From Dr. Phil.com:

http://www.drphil.com/articles/article/393

Five Biggest Myths About Obese People


1. People don't realize they are fat or why.
As Dr. Phil points out, "People who are overweight for a long time don't have a distorted body image." They are aware of their size.

2. Fat people are lazy and slow.
This is not true. You cannot make a blanket judgment about a person's motivation or character based on his/her weight.

3. All fat people eat too much.
This myth doesn't take two important factors into account: physical activity and metabolic resistance.

4. Fat people eat because they're always hungry.
As Dr. Phil says, "Its not what you are eating, but why you are overeating." Many people eat emotionally and use food as a source of comfort — which has nothing to do with hunger.

5. Fat people are always unhappy being fat.
Body image and self-image are two separate things. You can have a healthy self-image whether or not you are happy about your body image.

I can't even imagine working out and NOT doing weights. It makes a huge, huge, huge difference.

You're right about that. The more muscle mass, the more calories burned. I love lifting.. that's my favorite part of my workout.

Me too.

Seriously, every time we agree on something, I suspect the world might end soon. ;)

CutiePie, this sounds exactly like what I have been trying to do. Do you have other suggestions for meals like this or could you direct me to a Web site or somewhere I can find for myself. I do well for a couple of weeks but then I get tired of eating the same things over and over.

Thanks!

Well, I have been told that my "lifestyle" is similar to "Body for Life" by Bill Phillips. I haven't read the book so I cannot say, but that is what I have been told.

Another meal that I like is 1 can of drained tuna, 1/2 cup brown rice, 1 tbsp natural peanut butter...mix it all up. I think it tastes good, though others may not. Also have a 1/2 cup of vegetables, too.

And if you go on the forums for Oxygen Magazine, there are some threads there about "eating clean".

I have a competition on August 19th, so I am a bit spacey right now..LOL

I also usually recomend Body for Life to novice and intermediate fitness people . . . you can skip most of it, its motivational in nature, but the chapters on diet and excercise are worth a look.

She didn't "try" if you consider "trying," to be having a comprehensive plan will work.

James:

The point of my post (and mentioning that episode of Dr. Phil-- plus the clips I included from iVillage and Dr. Phil) was that people know they're overweight, that it's very difficult to lose weight, and that the only person who can lose the weight is the person hit/herself. When you point out something like weight-- no matter how well intentioned you may be-- it cuts deep-- and causes more of a loss of self esteem to that person... which often causes the person to spiral downward into more overeating.

The best think you can do for someone who is overweight is to be their friend. Being their friend does not mean hurting their self esteem with comments about their weight.. but rather being there for them if they ASK for help or if THEY want to talk about their problem. If they don't-- then leave it's best to alone.

I understand your point blueangel. The unpopular point that I am making is that fat is not a terminal illness, or disfigurement so this degree of hand holding seems a little insane.

Also, this whole conversation doesn't even really exist for men, so you are really talking about a social sensitivity issue towards women. You can tell me they are fat without most of these considerations.

Also, its not hard to lose fat. In fact its almost insanely easy. However, it is mentally hard for a lot of people to make the lifestyle changes or the mental readjustments to lose the weight.

But most people are simply unwilling.

Remember, even with the gastric bypass patients, all the gastric bypass does is force people to do an extreme calorie restriction. Since they were unwilling to do it themselves, they opted to have their stomache cut apart.

And here is the kicker, I have dealt with a lot of bariatric patients, and most swore that they were genetically fat, it wasn't their fault.

And yet, as soon as the surgery forced them to do a low calorie diet, the fat dropped off them so fast it made their heads spin. Neat eh?

Whats funny is that some people are doing as well with the Band around their stomaches because they refuse to get it adguested enough to make them uncomfortable . . so they lose weight at the rate a relatively benign diet would do for them . . . amazing eh? They had to have invasive surgery to cut their calories by a mere 500 a day.

So the bottom line is sure, we should be extra sensitive to people that have things that are fixtures: Big ears, a lazy eye, crooked nose, disease, deformity etc . . .

But for people that are generally obese, without disabling injury, to place themselves is that type of protective category mocks people with problems they can't fix.

Now we aren't talking about making fun of our friends or strangers that are heavy, we are just talking about honest feedback to people we know that are referencing a topic affected by their weight.

The experts say the opposit.. and if it were that easy to lose weight, the whole world would be thin. Statistics show less than five percent of people who lose the weight keep it off for five years or more. Most gain back the weight and then some. Those are some pretty dismal statistics.

Regarding gastric bypass surgery.. I know two people who have had it.. one is a household name. Both of these individuals are unable to eat processed carbohydrates. Instead they eat lean protein, or they will get sick and anemic. They also have to eat lean protein for the first half of every meal or suffer from vomiting or dumping. Not a pleasant side effect.

I have understanding and sympathy for people with problems such as smoking, alcohol and obesity.

Guess we'll just have to agree to disagree on this subject.