Honestly, in that situation I would call the bride and ask if there was a mistake on my RSVP card. And then, if my husband was not invited I would say flat out I wasn't coming.

When I was engaged, a friend of mine was getting married and when she sent me an invite it said my name "and guest." I thought that was kinda rude considering she had met my then-fiance and we had been out to dinner a few times together.

My old roommate addressed my invitation to her wedding not only to me, but to a guy I was good friends with and had a crush on. For real, she put his name on the invitation. And the place card at the rehearsal dinner, in spite of the fact that he was out of town and couldn't come to either... (we had rsvp'd in plenty of time for her to change it.) I brought another guy. He didn't like being called by the wrong name all night.

It's not tacky is called a "Courtesy Invitation", just to let the individual know that you were thinking of them when planning for your big day. You won't know for sure that they're not coming until you receive their RSVP!

This is such a tricky situation. A friend of mine is getting married soon and informed us that none of the girls in our group of friends are going to be invited with an "and guest", which is fine since they don't really know anyone's boyfriend. The weird thing is that they seemed to pick and choose who was invited with a guest because one of our friends made a point to say we'd all get to meet her new boyfriend at the wedding. Clearly since they've been dating for 5 minutes, the engaged couple doesn't know the new boyfriend. I think the rule of thumb should be to be consistent with whatever you choose and to follow basic etiquette rules with inviting spouses and fiance/fiancees.

I disagree- it is absolutely tacky. A lot of people consider that fishing for gifts. Receiving an invitation to something you can't attend makes most people feel that they have to at least send a gift. If you know someone can't attend, then send them an annoucement or picture or something after the fact. Don't send them an invite to something you already know they can't attend.

Fishing for gifts is always tacky.

Not necessarily - we sent invitations to some relatives (older aunts and uncles, etc.) who we knew couldn't travel the distance, kind of a way of letting them know we didn't forget about them. I don't think you can automatically assume that people are "fishing for gifts" in that case; you may run into more trouble if some family members don't get invitations, even if you know they probably won't be able to make it. For them, an announcement, etc., just won't cut it.

Anyone who is planning a wedding should just look at their own family and friends and figure out what works best; for some families, it may just look like "fishing," and in some families, you would get more grief for not sending the invitation. Like everything else, people should just do what's best for their situation, not what they saw in some magazine or on a message board.

I actually think that might be correct, etiquette-wise. It's sort of awkward to put Miss Mary Smith & Mr. John Jones on an invite.

Emily Post disagrees.

Ms. Mary Smith
Mr. John Jones
123 Peoplearetacky Court, Apt 2B
Here, XY 12347

Now, that would be for the outer envelope, right?

Yes, but inner envelope would say "Mary & John".

I also agree with KSigkid on the inviting people you know can't come. I had some friends who said they could not come, so I told them I wouldn't send them an invite. However, my family members I sent invites to anyway b/c they would have been offended if I didn't. They didn't see it as fishing for gifts - it all depends on your situation.

What is bad is being absolutely positive Uncle Bern and Aunt Velma won't come because of their age or whatever - and then getting their RSVP back saying they've decided to leave their home after 50 years and come. Too bad you don't really have room for them because you invited someone else.

One of my coworkers about 2 weeks prior to her wedding sent an email around to some of us (who she hadn't invited previously) saying they had a poor response to their invites and so were inviting us if we wanted to come. That was just the height of tacky to me. If she wanted me there, she should have asked me when the real invites went out.

That's true, although I'm not sure why you would invite someone you didn't want to come or had room for in the first place. When we were planning, we had room for everyone people we invited, just in case they wanted to travel to the wedding. It turned out that a couple of family members from California were able to make the trip.

I don't think you can ever predict who will show up; I had a friend who was an hour away who couldn't come, but relatives from cross-country who made the trip. Anytime you try to predict those things, something will change.

No, really? I had absolutely no idea! OMG I am the least smrtest person EVER!1!

The original assertion was about the inner envelope, but GP quoted information from Post about the outer.

Either way someone ends up getting mad because if you send someone an invite then they may or may not feel the need to send a gift if they can't attend (i'm not expecting people that don't attend to give us a gift), on the other hand if you don't invite them at all then they're pissed anyway whether or not that had any intentions of coming or not. Ultimately I'm gonna do me. It's our day I'm the only who has to be smiling!!! Just my opinion... take it with a grain of salt. :)

Question:
If you’re having a reception only (the couple is eloping) do they issue:

A. Announcement of the wedding separate from the reception

Or

B. Announce the wedding and reception on the same card?

Muchas Gracias very much and come again.:D

you can do it both ways.

when we were going to elope and i swear i think we still are( :mad: crazy family...) the invites we saw went something like

bob and jane would like to announce their marriage on
this exotic island
this date

now help welcome them back
with a reception
blah blah hotel
etc.

i say save on postage and do it that way.

I agree...otherwise it could look as though you're inviting them to the elope ceremony. It's definitely more cost efficient that way too.

thanks. My BFF is having issues with her family and her and her man decided to cancel the big who-ha wedding and run off to hawaii. I say more power to them