You know that episode of Sex & the City when Charlotte is interviewing people to take her place at that museum and then when they find the candidate she doesn't want to leave anymore?

That's what I feel like right now :confused:

STOP F*ing with my Excel formulas. I shouldn't REALLY have to go in and password protect cells to stop you from screwing up my cost sheet!

I can HEAR you talking to the person who you're interviewing for MY JOB.

Isn't there something wrong with that?

i wish i could walk around firing people that i know shouldn't be here

AMEN! (and the incompetent ones)

I am doing the work of 4 people at the moment, you all are doing the work of one, and poorly at that, please stop whining to me about your "work issues."

Something that maybe should be said...

"This is a no drama zone. Shut up and do some work..."

You have re-imaged at least 50 PCs. Just because you have been focused on something else for two weeks doesn't mean you should have completely forgotten how to do this! Do you just totally freak out when we're under pressure to get something done quickly or are you just stupid??? It's faster to just do it myself than to ask you to do ANYTHING because you never remember how to do anything. READ THE DOCUMENTATION. It's step by step. That's why it's there.

I don't even want to go to work today and deal with this. I loved my job before you came along. I really need an assistant who has a brain.

Answer your @#%#^$ cell phone or turn it off. I think your ring tone has to be the most annoying sound ever invented.

It's the end of the day...F*ck all ya'll be-aatches, I'm going home!!!

I agree! I have to hear "I'm Bossy" all day!

I've tried being saccharin-sweet to you, I've tried ignoring you, I've even tried being downright rude to you. What do I need to do to get you to leave me alone?!?!? Please, for the love of all things holy, get out of my office.

We have no running water (although you've kindly brought in port-a-potties and bottled water) and the IS dept is so busy working on the computer swap out this weekend that none of them can help users that have issues today. I say we call a spade a spade and send everyone home.

I really would have gotten around to cleaning out the coffee pots without you setting them in the middle of my desk. Thanks.

Damn baby...you have a nice ass.

Really. Is it going to matter in the grand scheme of life if I leave at 3:30 instead of 4?

Please get all of the details straight before you bring me a project. 'K thanks.

Unless YOU want to process it (which I'd be glad to let you do) STOP OPENING MY MAIL!!!!

Are you trying to make me feel guilty. You are the one that said your cat got attackd by an animal 3 f---ing weeks ago and now it is on deaths door with a chest full of pus and you only have 200 f--ing dollars. Maybe if you saw me 3 weeks ago we would not be here-sorry I can't help you, you need to put your cat to sleep. Yes it is your fault. Take some responsibility.

So you bring in your nasty ass chihuahua that got atacked by something b/c it was chained up in the front yard, who wants to eat me and my staff alive and you have no way of paying. Sorry can't help you. PS please don't have any children and no more pets-if that is what you want to call a dog that you chain up.


ok I feel better, I am so tired of stupid/irresponsible people

you had me fooled. i thought you were REALLY working without supervision today.
i hope your children appreciate you doing their research assignment for them... but WHY did it take you all day to do 7th grade homework?

Where's the "We-Should-Get-Columbus-Day-Off" Petition? I want a long weekend, too!!! Lucky bankers/postal employees!

Edited to add that I realize this could very well be said outloud at work, I just thought I'd put it in this thread anyway.

Don't forget teachers! :)

don't forget the inept and incompetent.

Not all banks get Columbus day off :(

Could you put that in a memo and title it 'Shit I Already Know'?

Fedex is late EVERY single time except today when they were early!!!!!! SH*T

these posts are hilarious.

You all are teaching me to NOT be nice. So much for Service Excellence. When I offer to do something nice, don't end up kicking me for it and creating hours of work for me.

Don't keep putting me on the spot by making me the middle man who has to fix everything that you all screw up. It doesn't make it ok just because you make a point to tell my boss that you appreciate that I went above and beyond the call of duty for you. I'm still ticked off that you put me in that position.

I'd be job hunting if I didn't have 6 weeks of time off a year after 13 years in this system. Yeah, I'm now only here for the time off. It's sad, because until the past year, I loved this job.

If you don't stop checking your messages on speakerphone I'm gonna throw that isht out the window.

Why are we treating a puppy for free and giving him back to the original owners when they cannot take care of it?? I don't have a problem treating the puppy but it should find a new home. Are we going to spay it for free and then treat for heartworms when it gets them b/c the people had no money to buy prevention. Sometimes I don't understand where you are coming from and I don't think you look at the big picture. BTW, the rest of your employees are pissed b/c you are doing all this for free when the rest of us have to pay our bills when our animals are sick. So you are ok with giving away services to complete strangers off the streets but not for us who have worked for you for many years-does this make since. WTF?

Just b/c you're thin does not make you beautiful.
Your face is too long, your breasts are non-existant, your ass is a piece of plywood with a crack in it, and you are just as ugly on the outside as you are on the inside.
Get bent.
P.S. As a teacher, you suck ass & I'd never wish you on anyone's children.

I hate you all and I have no freaking idea how you all got the jobs you did, b/c you appear to have trouble getting dressed and tying your shoes each day.

The longer I work here, the less money I make because the raises don't cover the increase costs for benefits. I won't be able to continue working here at this rate. I need a promotion.

Why the heck don't we have an emergency generator? And why don't the damn stairs go down to the parking lot?!?!?! :mad:

(the power went off in my office building about an hour ago... and it's still not back on)

I see your mouth moving, and I'm pretty sure there are words coming out, but all I'm getting is "blah, blah, blah".

I have to eat crow now. My boss gave me an "out of sequence" raise for increased job responsibilities because he recognized how much I've been doing over the last year. These are practically unheard of in our building so I'm really shocked and thrilled that management thinks enough of me to do that for me. So, I take back all those previous posts.

Could you be any more of tightwad?

Quit being a seagull manager! When you come into the office all you do it shit all over us and then leave!

I'm sorry, But I don't think "I'm lucky" to get sent home and paid for a half day of work when I signed up for a full day. I have rent to pay and student loans out my rear. I'd rather do the work and get paid for the whole day LIKE I EXPECTED.

Now why is it that I'm doing your work that you "don't have time to do", yet you have time to stand around and watch me do your work??

***BULL*^%#***

"Mr. ****, what you just said is one of the most insanely, idiotic things that I have ever heard. At no point in your rambling, incoherent response were you even close to anything that can be considered a rational thought. Everyone in this room is now dumber for having listened to it. I award you no points and may God have mercy on your soul."