Meet our marketing consultant:

http://tinypic.com/wrhd

He's got a very nice pink tie. I think he'll work well with the team dynamics here.

http://img17.exs.cx/img17/8606/notice.gif

http://img17.exs.cx/img17/8560/why3.jpg

Birthablue--

You Are Fired.

:D lol

I cannot be fired, because according to the Employee Directives, Chapter 22, Section 890, Article 6, Paragraph 69, LIne 3, employees whose screennames feature the number 4 MAY NOT be terminated for ANY reason whatsoever!

:cool:

death squad what


have your business meeting now

I missed out on the birthday cake last year but I am getting a piece this year!

I'm not sure that cake meets the sugar-free needs of our diabetic employees.

Who was responsible for purchasing the bottom-desk-drawer emergency stash of liquor? Because supply is running low and we need to put in a requisition form if SOMEONE hasn't performed their collateral duties this month.

I see Birtha would like to expand our OSHA information from the state reg poster to other information pertaining to a comfortable work place. We've really been eating it with all the Workers Comp claims lately, so I'm glad you've got an eye on this. Birtha, you are now in charge of Risk Management and Office Safety. Please refer any questions to Birtha.

I'm right on top of that, Rose!

Came in this morning to find that someone has unplugged ALL the watercoolers!:mad:

Excuse me, but how are we supposed to enjoy our beverages if they're warm.

Any word on the scented paper?

It wasn't me. Just a suggestion. Has anyone talked to the new cleaning firm?

Oh, and speaking of OSHA, why can't those water coolers be put up on a desk or something so we don't have to bend over to use them? Think of the potential back injuries. There's some potential liability here.

I'd like to move us right to our next prospective hire. We had a chance to meet this young man, and boy that's just a straight shooter with upper management written all over him.

On a more serious note, I feel I have a case of the Mondays on a Thursday. Any cures?

The ratio of people to cake is too big, pass your piece along.

Definitely need to be visiting the coolers more often.:D

Any word on the makeovers, we'd like to the ugly people not so ugly by COB tomorrow.

I'm sorry but a lack of planning on your part doesn't constitute an emergency for me.

You need to back up your emergency with a TPS report with the new cover sheets.

Which email was that in??

Also, please someone send an email to remind the secretary to send a reminder email to someone about the paper problem.


Side bar: Did I miss the cake today? I think I feel asleep somewhere between 8am and now at my desk.

*indignant*

This is just a nice way of saying I'm a HALL MONITOR!!!

I have dedicated THREE WHOLE DAYS to this company, and I deserve more than some menial, low-budget, and might I say BOOTLEG, position.

*calming down*

Now, if you would like me to head up the Office of Employee Science and Health (snacks), then we can talk :cool:

Did everyone get the e-mail from HR regarding the memo which referenced Section 3, Chapter 2 of the Employee GuidePoints manual? Apparently the presence of a Midori cooler in APhi Sailorgirl's office versus the Hamms cooler installed in Shipping is a violation of our company's Every Employee Counts! initiative. Can we have a meeting to discuss further action at 2pm?

TO: Committee Members
FROM: Chairman
SUBJ: Change in Schedule
DATE: Today

The meeting of the procrastination committee scheduled for this after noon has will be rescheduled for tomorrow afternoon at a time to be announced.

can't we just put it off until Monday?

I was under the impression that Finance was taking everyone shoe shopping?
That's a small, small start, but really shouldn't we go from the head down?
As our company's occupational health nurse, I have invited our city's most renouned plastic surgeon to give free consults for brow lifts, nose jobs and boob jobs this afternoon from noon to 4pm.
All employees who schedule surgeries today will be given paid convalescent leave time and will also automatically be rewarded that 2% raise that has been previously discussed.
Please sign up for a consult time on the paper posted by the midori sour water cooler (which has been plugged in, and is back to a drinkable temperature... tested it myself!)

I think the server just went down.

Do ya'll have access to the server? Is your internet up? I cant print now. Can any of ya'll? Has anyone talked to IT to see when the server will be back up? I cant print the reports until the server comes back up.

I thought I told you to keep your beer out of the server room, lifesaver!

I'm going to be telecommuting today. Dinner with the client went well last night but my mind is overwhelmed from all the new ideas we discussed. :p

http://www.landofsunshine.net/shiftless/pft/s630.png

Looks like it's time to SELL SELL SELL!

Ok everyone go home.

Well unless you're still waiting for a makeover in which case, you cannot leave until approved.

See you all Monday.

And please, don't unplug the coolers:cool:

No ,Birkenstocks are not considered "proffesional attire" even if they are closed toe. No, not even if you wear socks with them.

Short-sleeved shirts with a tie are NOT considered to be professional either, thank you very much.

I am proposing that we give GeekyPenguin a raise for sleeping with the client if we do in fact get their business. Everyone take note, we need more team players in this office!

I'll get back to you on that.

Well, as the Director of the Office of Employee Science and Health (snacks), I'll see if I can get in touch with the Krispy Kreme's man, to see if we can fill in those holes in the doughnuts with kreme :D and get a better array of morning, noon, afternoon, and evening snacks for the office.

Hmmmm, Kevin's birthday is coming soon, maybe I should see about getting a Krispy Kreme cake, what do you all think? But they'll have to split it up, for the "low-carb Atkins approved" people, the diabetics, those "low-sodium" people, those "high calcium, low-fat" people, and those "really don't give a rat's a$$, pile on the sugar" people. Maybe we should just get several Krispy Kakes, and everyone will go for what they know.

I took one for the team. ;)

I think my paycheck is wrong. I got my direct deposit statement and they took to much out for my cafeteria plan.

depends on how well she slept with him.

I just wanted to make sure everyone got the memo about pink day tomorrow. If you wear pink you don't have to come into work.

I'm in.