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[This message has been edited by Ideal08 (edited June 19, 2001).] |
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I edited your post. You gave a little TMI. Email me if you have any questions. My email is in my profile. If not, happy posting! http://www.greekchat.com/forums/ubb/smile.gif |
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[This message has been edited by THICKNCHOCLATE (edited June 19, 2001).] |
Platinum Honey: Since you are quoting me, please re-read my full post (on page 3). Discretion and humility just doesn't disappear with time, at least it shouldn't. http://www.plauder-smilies.de/natur/sunny.gif
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"...the adept becomes...she is not made..."
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------------------ "No matter how worthy, admirable or fiercely desired the goal may be, it takes commitment and action to make it a reality." |
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From one Sisterfriend to another--Please do not take my post the wrong way--in a negative way--b/c I am only trying to help you, just as Sisterfriend Eastcoast Sunshine was...But was your response necessary?? If you read my post and the posts of Exquizit and Eclipse http://www.plauder-smilies.de/happy/xyxthumbs.gif , then you should understand what I mean...We as Sisterfriends are lucky to have this forum b/c it provides us with an opportunity to engage in conversations with members as well as others interests...this means that we should not be negative to each other, esp. when someone is trying to help you b/c they are not obligated to!! Instead of responding with a "rolleyes", couldn't you have responded with a "Happyface" b/c Ms. Eascoast Sunshine did not have an attitude with you?? All she was trying to tell you was that just b/c the times have changed a bit, you nevertheless need to exercise Discretion and Humility!! This is why some Sisterfriends choose not to attempt to help others--b/c they get jumped on when they are helping you. Next time you may not be so lucky. Maybe you'll be "checked" by a member--you wouldn't dare use a "rolleyes" in response to them when they were trying to help you--and if you would, then you certainly won't make it far AT ALL in your quest for membership into this presigious sorority!! ------------------ "If there is no struggle, there is no progress"--Frederick Douglass |
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Thanks a lot
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Hello, Ladies of Alpha Kappa Alpha Sorority,Inc. and fellow sisterfriends. I'm a new member to GC but after reading some of the posts placed by a few sf I had to comment. My mother always stressed to me that if you work hard for something/towards your goals the prize will be so much sweeter. Thats how I look at my pursuit of Alpha Kappa Alpha Sorority, Inc. If you do the work for yourself you will appreciate it even more!
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I just wanted to say that for some people it is difficult for them to accept being admonished. It's kind of like when you were little and your mom caught you with your hands in the cookie jar right before dinner...Anyhow, others can absorb the info and take it all in stride...For example, I posted a new topic asking for advice on pledging, and referred to myself as "an aspiring soror". I didn't think that this would be considered offensive, since I did say that I was aspiring, i.e. hoping, wishing, etc. My forum was closed and I received an informative posting saying that I should not refer to another SF as "soror" until I become one...I was like, oh, okay. I mean I didn't know and now I do...I don't understand why someone would get indignant with someone who has something that they want and is somewhere that they want to be? I hope I haven't been too longwinded http://www.greekchat.com/forums/ubb/smile.gif
Thanks for all the great info!! |
I have been on the hush for a while now. Just watching and learning. I learned in a relatively easy way (it could have been much, much worse) that DISCRETION is KEY, Learn it, Live it. And for the most part I have the wonderful members of Alpha Kappa Alpha Sorority, Incorporated who are a part of GreekChat.com, to thank for "guiding" me in the right direction. I am grateful for those who have "checked" me, because you didn't have to do anything, you could have been silent and let continue to go astray, but you did not and for that I am truly grateful.
Thank you, Memberfriends of Greekchat.com ------------------ Discretion is Key Learn it, Live it [This message has been edited by reddnhott2020 (edited July 31, 2001).] |
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You know how it is when you're studying for a test and you've looked over your notes so many times that you're convinced that you know it? That is NOT the way that I am with my "collection." Every time I read and re-read all of my notes, little scribble marks, and highlighted sections on the things that I have gathered something new clicks inside my brain. I look over this stuff almost daily. And its not just the founders list, colors, and incorporation date--I have individual bios on the founders and the Supreme Basilei, information on the other chapters in my region (collecting more as we speak), and I'm working on compiling a list of all chapters in order. Why? Because "Inquiring Minds" want to know http://www.greekchat.com/forums/ubb/biggrin.gif!!Now no one has told me that I have to do this, but if it has ANYTHING to do with Alpha Kappa Alpha Sorority, Inc. and its available to me, I want it. I'm not even sure if I will be able to apply this knowledge anytime soon, but that hasn't killed my desire to learn everything that I possibly can. Since day one, a spark has been lit. It's now grown into a flame and thankfully this time the fire dept. is no where around....... A big THANK YOU to everyone that has kept that fire blazing--those who have helped directly (who may be reading this now and I don't know it) and to those on this board who have helped in so many ways indirectly. http://www.greekchat.com/forums/ubb/biggrin.gif http://www.greekchat.com/forums/ubb/biggrin.gif http://www.greekchat.com/forums/ubb/biggrin.gif ------------------ "Dear Heavenly Father, Thank you for developing me into a beautiful and talented woman. Thank you for being my protector and my guide. And as I make my way along my journey, bless me with the wisdom to make intelligent choices."--TJ Butler |
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http://www.angelfire.com/ny5/celesti...cture_12_1.gif [This message has been edited by CelestialBlu1 (edited July 28, 2001).] |
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I appreciate the help and advice offered by memberfriends. I realize that helping a sisterfriend is not obligatory for those who are members. It appalls me that a sisterfriend may "snap" back at a member's comment because they feel that it was negative towards them. Keep in mind that all replies do not warrant a response. Just take the replies and the "no comments" with a grain of salt and move on. Consider it a learning experience. Humility is not a bad word and does take some getting used to!
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Greetings to all my gorgeous and beautiful sorors, and hello to all my noble and seriously striving sisterfriends. It's been a while since I've posted. So much has happened in my life these past few months, but later for that. I've spent hours reading all four pages of this particular topic, and instead of wasting time giving a formal greeting (with hopes of a proper "welcome back" from everybody), I simply HAD to finally comment.
I'm really surprised at what I'm reading in the posts from many sisterfriends. I'm a little disturbed when I read here that many have asked advice from this member or that member of MY sorority through GreekChat. http://www.greekchat.com/forums/ubb/eek.gif I first gained interest in Alpha Kappa Alpha back in 1996. While the internet was accessible to me, I don't recall one single person from this site or any other one actually HELPING me gain membership into this illustrious Sorority. For starters, I dared not use the internet as my resource for obtaining membership into Alpha Kappa Alpha. It was just unheard of. Though I enjoyed hanging out at some Alpha Kappa Alpha sites that catered to establishing friendships between members and non-members alike, I always managed to keep my questions, comments, statements, and whatever else as UN-Alpha Kappa Alpha as I possibly could. I think the closest I ever came to asking any questions about Alpha Kappa Alpha as a non-member was when I asked for opinions from members of the Sorority regarding a particular issue regarding racism. I never got slammed for asking the wrong questions, because I simply avoided that area altogether. Whatever questions I had about the Sorority at all were held deep within me until I developed a friendship with someone here, close to home, withIN the CHAPTER of the Sorority whom I felt comfortable confiding in. Neither would I let my interests be known to them until we had an established friendship beyond a shadow of a doubt (... and mind you, I kept a very small number of memberfriends at the time). I think the only time I've gotten close to being slammed by a member was AFTER I became a member myself, because I was so overzealous I had to be put in check. (That actually happened right here on this board. http://www.greekchat.com/forums/ubb/tongue.gif ) Was I offended? Of course not!! I took it in love, and accepted it as an ACT of love. Sisterfriends, you gotta understand that the boards are cool places to hang out, but you can only aspire for the chapter in your particular area. Members of THAT chapter are the ones you should be establishing connections with. If you cannot get close enough to one of them to ask questions DISCRETELY and with HUMILITY, what good would it do you to come on a public forum and ask help from people you can't even SEE? Sorors on this board come from all OVER the place!! There's no GENERAL chapter for us to help you gain membership into. So, your focus should be in observing and supporting the chapter that you actually have access to, whether it be undergraduate or graduate. Remember, it's not only about discretion, ... but also a matter of taste. Sisterfriends, I respect each and every one of you because I used to BE you. I know the zeal of TRYING to become a member, just as I know the zeal of BECOMING a member. But, please, use some tact, ... use some common sense, ... use your own God-given wisdom to know that Alpha Kappa Alpha is not going to be GIVEN to anyone. I can understand the fear of approaching a member face to face, ... but wouldn't you be glad that my soror can respect you for doing THAT, as opposed to hiding behind a message board anonymously? http://www.greekchat.com/forums/ubb/wink.gif ------------------ No weapon formed against me shall prosper, for I am a child of the Most High God, Who sits upon the Throne of Grace, and rules all Heaven and Earth. |
Greetings to all my gorgeous and beautiful sorors, and hello to all my noble and seriously striving sisterfriends. It's been a while since I've posted. So much has happened in my life these past few months, but later for that. I've spent hours reading all four pages of this particular topic, and instead of wasting time giving a formal greeting (with hopes of a proper "welcome back" from everybody), I simply HAD to finally comment.
I'm really surprised at what I'm reading in the posts from many sisterfriends. I'm a little disturbed when I read here that many have asked advice from this member or that member of MY sorority through GreekChat. http://www.greekchat.com/forums/ubb/eek.gif I first gained interest in Alpha Kappa Alpha back in 1996. While the internet was accessible to me, I don't recall one single person from this site or any other one actually HELPING me gain membership into this illustrious Sorority. For starters, I dared not use the internet as my resource for obtaining membership into Alpha Kappa Alpha. It was just unheard of. Though I enjoyed hanging out at some Alpha Kappa Alpha sites that catered to establishing friendships between members and non-members alike, I always managed to keep my questions, comments, statements, and whatever else as UN-Alpha Kappa Alpha as I possibly could. I think the closest I ever came to asking any questions about Alpha Kappa Alpha as a non-member was when I asked for opinions from members of the Sorority regarding a particular issue regarding racism. I never got slammed for asking the wrong questions, because I simply avoided that area altogether. Whatever questions I had about the Sorority at all were held deep within me until I developed a friendship with someone here, close to home, withIN the CHAPTER of the Sorority whom I felt comfortable confiding in. Neither would I let my interests be known to them until we had an established friendship beyond a shadow of a doubt (... and mind you, I kept a very small number of memberfriends at the time). I think the only time I've gotten close to being slammed by a member was AFTER I became a member myself, because I was so overzealous I had to be put in check. (That actually happened right here on this board. http://www.greekchat.com/forums/ubb/tongue.gif ) Was I offended? Of course not!! I took it in love, and accepted it as an ACT of love. Sisterfriends, you gotta understand that the boards are cool places to hang out, but you can only aspire for the chapter in your particular area. Members of THAT chapter are the ones you should be establishing connections with. If you cannot get close enough to one of them to ask questions DISCRETELY and with HUMILITY, what good would it do you to come on a public forum and ask help from people you can't even SEE? Sorors on this board come from all OVER the place!! There's no GENERAL chapter for us to help you gain membership into. So, your focus should be in observing and supporting the chapter that you actually have access to, whether it be undergraduate or graduate. Remember, it's not only about discretion, ... but also a matter of taste. Sisterfriends, I respect each and every one of you because I used to BE you. I know the zeal of TRYING to become a member, just as I know the zeal of BECOMING a member. But, please, use some tact, ... use some common sense, ... use your own God-given wisdom to know that Alpha Kappa Alpha is not going to be GIVEN to anyone. I can understand the fear of approaching a member face to face, ... but wouldn't you be glad that my soror can respect you for doing THAT, as opposed to hiding behind a message board anonymously? http://www.greekchat.com/forums/ubb/wink.gif ------------------ No weapon formed against me shall prosper, for I am a child of the Most High God, Who sits upon the Throne of Grace, and rules all Heaven and Earth. |
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[This message has been edited by CelestialBlu1 (edited July 29, 2001).] |
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[This message has been edited by SweetestDiva (edited July 29, 2001).] |
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I had to bring this back up...
Based on some recent experiences, I'd have to give a resounding NO to the original question. I think sisterfriends want our help...but only when and if it's convenient for them. I find myself shaking my head at some interests. |
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http://www.angelfire.com/ny5/celesti...71_2_imani.gif [This message has been edited by celestial_blues (edited July 29, 2001).] |
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Soror LikeASista I agree with everything you said 100%!!!
As far as SF's go and the original question I think the answer is YES they do want OUR help, but SOME of them lack the patience, tack, common sense and discretion required of anyone seriously interested in OUR sorority. I am constantly giving SF's the benefit of the doubt, because I (only speaking for Wonderful1908) think some are just clueless ans sometimes just don't know any better. I have seen many SF's on this board and others, inquire on a topic and realize they were out of order and then move on and learn from their mistakes. However these Sf's coming in here trying to have a tude, start mess, question what, why, how and when sorors respond has got to go. I have one key word for sf's HUMBLE yourself. In case you didn't know WE dont have to answer a single question, don't have to correct you, don't have to help you, don't have to even slightly push you in the right direction!! However so many of us do, so be grateful. Be patient and be humble, practice what you learn here and take it back with yu on your campus and in your communities and be grateful that you have ANY information that can actually help you on your quest!! I have my letters. I have my pearls, so respect that Sf's, swallow your pride and shake it off!! Cause I promise if you can't handle the AKA greekchat board you WILL NOT be able to handle being an Alpha Kappa Alpha woman, but thats another story........ |
I appreciate ALL the responses from Members. I've asked a question and been "checked". Of course my little feelings were hurt, but I got over it. I enjoy this forum with internet "friends" too much to trip.
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------------------ No weapon formed against me shall prosper, for I am a child of the Most High God, Who sits upon the Throne of Grace, and rules all Heaven and Earth. |
I have obsserved for a while but i must add my piece (and peace). I am abundantly overjoyed at the blessing of this site. This fills such a void for sisterfriends. First, i must say the responsibility for the state of affairs lies with sf and members alike. We are priveleged (sp?) to receive any wisdom yes, but some sf are asking because there are varied approaches on campus. Some ol' school heads were saying "I would never ask info re: the sorority or express my interest, to anyone" I subcribed to this rationale too. But guess what, if you don't ask you shall not receive. If you can't state the problem you cannot find a solution. Because everything was so hush hush I
1) Didn't know there were resources on campus. 2) Was afraid to/was told i shouldn't confromt members 3) Didn't even know about the community service emphasis, at all! 4) Had unrealistic goals and expectations based on ignorance 5)Thought it was more like a club. Of course this sounds unbelievable but it was true. I fault myself for not approaching a member or researching, but again I didn't think there was anything to research because i thought talk was off limits, just showing up for teas, interest letter, submitting grades I thought was the criteria for being chosen. Heck, I didn't even know about the application. So I say is it all my faul?t No. It is the responsibility of the members to ILLUMINATE the campus through their deeds and actions, to SOME extent educate. Having no prior knowledge b4 undergrad and the don't ask don't tell policy it is not fair to think that sf's are in the know. Now this was some 8 years ago but i am sure there are some campuses where the members expect people to "know better". It is not always realistic/fair. My interest was also before all of the internet availability was out strong. Since then I too have been reveling in the queendom of the sorority. The journey is just as important as getting there and infinite. And once I took my first step out of my comfort zone I truly understood what humility was. Knowing that your a** ain't always right and like the bible says. Faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things unseen. You can't know all the when and why right now. But devouring info, personally, electronically, etc. with the faith that you will discover.....using your mental eyes and doing research and me-search, stay with me now. That is going to help you on your quest. Be willing to grow. I have yet to go through any process but the gravity of my own personal "process" of searching and understanding, whoa! I am truly humbled. THANKS TO ALL THAT HAVE WRITTEN AND WALKED BEFORE ME. I say in the words of JILL SCOTT, (also a lady of the sorority.) Don't let anything define you or anyone. Let it co-write you. Be the lead author though! YOU LOVE ME YOU MOVE ME YOU EXCITE ME YOU CO-WRITE ME YOU GIVE ME SOMETHING TO THINK ABOUT!!!!!! OH moving spirit of ALPHA KAPPA ALPHA Sorority :o |
jill scott a soror?
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Well one of your members told me that she was discussing it during an interview, BET, I think. She also told me that Starr Jones was a member and had redecorated her dressing room w/ your colors. I was as intrigued as you. I wanna say she attended a school in Ohio, but don't quote me, it was a while ago. Sorry. I will hunt it down for you and my own edification as well.:o
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Thanks...
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See, SF's you never stop learning!:D |
My mother always told me that you give help to those who help themselves. Vice versa I try to only ask questions after looking to whether I can solve the problem myself. I can speak for the other sisterfriends that I personally know and as good as their intentions are some want everything handed to them. I asked my friend who is also interested in Alpha Kappa Alpha and who was also an AKA teen when Alpha Kappa Alpha was founded to see if she actually knew and she said she thinks it's Jan. 10 1908 :( We are both just freshmans in college but girlfriend had the nerve to smile when I told her the correct answer Jan. 15 1908 and say that's why I can always count on you to help me. Come on say it loud aka1908.org...know your history, the founders, the incorporators, and atleast the name of the chapter at your school...Then one "might" "consider" asking for help.
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I am a SF of the organization and I appreciate the little information i receive from members. I never ask for answers I know they can not give answers to. I respect the fact that some members are looking out for SF's, and some are trying to help. I look down on those who are unappreciative for the information that they recieve. I am humble of their decisions and I applaud them for their assistance. :)
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Saw the interview in Essence with JS. She said she attended Temple, no mention of greek life. I have been out of the chatroom scene for a while. That pesky little thing called life.....:p
I am still not giving up on my quest though...Although I have ventured into quite a few things since then..... :cool: |
Greetings Sorors,
I do not place all sister friends in the same category. There are all types of people out there!! Some Serious minded and some just popularity seekers.(The latter,need not seek membership in MY sorority)!!!! AKA is A SERIOUS MATTER and sister friends need to practice discretion and humility at ALL times. Unfortunately not enough do this. I had a situation where a co-worker who is striving for AKA(and may I add showing NO DISCRETION) is going around telling people she's going to be on the next AKA line, using terminology like pledging and that she'll be going through alot because AKA's haze. Sorors I totally lost it when I found this out. When I asked her privately about the statements that were made of course she lied and said they weren't true,but then as we were talking another co-worker just walked up out of the blue and started talking to she and I about AKA and stated everything the girl had said above. She turned white as a sheet and said huh I don't know what you are talking about, and the co-worker now joined by another said yes, you do remember when you told us x,y and z.:mad: I couldn't believe it. I had to go home and pray for her. People at would l say you two AKA's and I have to check them about that and say I'm the only one here who has earned her twenty pearls. But it's not their fault,she has them believing that she's got it like that. No humility, or discretion at all. Once I clamed down I did speak to her about discretion, and that we do not pledge or haze in Alpha Kappa Alpha and if she wants to seek membership then her whole attitude needs to change quickly. Needless to say she just avoids me at work now. That was not my intent. My intent was to try and help guide her before she digs herself in a whole she can't escape. But you can't help everybody. Even though I experienced this with this certain person,I would still view each sister friend on an individual basis. Just remember to approach a member only if your SERIOUS, and do it with respect,humility and discretion!!!!!!!!! |
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How old is this woman? It sure sounds like she seriously lacks maturity and discretion. At the least, she's been watching too much School Daze. :rolleyes: If she avoids you after your talk, so be it. Alpha Kappa Alpha needs service-oriented, dedicated members, not folx with warped conceptions of the organization. Steeltrap 8-EXO-00 |
Although I am interested in another organization, I felt the need to comment on this topic.
The bottmom line as far as I'm concerned is, YES sisterfriends of each respective sorority DO want to be guided/helped along in their quest for sisterhood. While no member of any sorority is OBLIGATED to do anything, I think it is a blessing to give to others what has ben given to you. This might be long...so if you lack patience you may want to scroll on down. I attend an HBCU, needless to say an average 300-400 girls show up for AKA/Delta interest meetings. Granted, there are many on my campus that view sororities as "instant popularity". But, on the other hand, there are those of us who are genuinely excited about making a difference through service and sisterhood. A good friend of mine, who is an AKA told me that a member of the sorouty I am interested in told her "I got my letters, I don't care if we bring in any more members." That seems to be the sentiment among a lot of sorority members. I'm sorry, but this baffles me; how could one not want to share what they've been blessed with, how can one not want to contribute to the molding of strong, productive black women, how could one not want to continue the amazing legacy left by the org's founders??? While it is true that everyone is not deserving, this leaves those who are to wait in the wings for 5, 10 or 20 years. I find it hard to believe that organizations that were created in order to promote African-American unity, now thrive upon exclusion. Every AKA/Delta/Zeta/SgRho on the face of the earth was once in the position of prospective member.I would even venture to say some once held sterotypes and misconceptions about their org. before becoming a member. But now that they are members and know the beauty, and honor of being a member, how could one not want to share that? Sorry this is so long, the spirit moved me. :) |
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