I have every intention of doing that! :)

Well it seemed like only a matter of time after my question of being forever a guy's best friend. but good news. I have a date on Sunday. WOo HoO.

There is just one thing. i was talking to the guy today on the phone. And I swear to god every 5th word out of his mouth was a swear word. Now... i swear once in a while, especially when i am pissed off. but i have become pretty good at censoring myself. the guy seems really cool and we have things in common but the swearing is a total turn off. is there a way i can be nice about telling him to lay off without sounding like i have fast forwarded the barely there relationship to something more serious?

i've been forgotten
 

i posted a question to cashmoney and i got no feedback. since cash isn't around, anyone else care to share some advice. i posted my "situation" a couple of posts back.

thanks.:D

Re: OK my turn
 

Bluz4-

Sorry I'm a little late getting back to you. I've been busy.

Yes, that was wise booting him. I can tell right off the bat he's one of those guys who has been broken up with his ex but probably still has random sex with her here and there. Thats why he spent his b-day with her. I dated a chick for a couple of years...after we broke up I started dating another chick. Meanwhile I was still tagging my ex and my new GF at the same time, raw dogg all the time . At night I'd be tagging my current GF and in the morning when we'd wake up....then during lunch I'd have my ex come over and we'd have sex. Neither of them suspected anything, finally I broke down and told my ex like a dumbass. And that led into me telling her about all the other times I cheated on her, but thats another thread....:rolleyes:

You did the right thing if you're looking for a serious relationship. if you don't really want to be tied down right now but still want some sort of a relationship....I'd say you should go back to him if you still liek him and talk to him about why you gave him the boot and then try to reconcile your differences. But as I said, if you want something solid and secure.....look elsewhere.

BTW- go out and do something to get your mind off of him. Sitting at the house/apt thinking about this crapp isnt gonna help you or your chances of finding someone else who will treat you much better.

Hope I helped...

Craig

Re: Now Me...
 

twhrider13-

Wow! Your situation reminds me of one I was in about this time last year. I don't think that "B" is trying to get you back. I think he realizes what he did was wrong and he's just trying to make up for it and make things better between you and him. In a way i think he'd like to get back with you, but I think he knows that it'll never happen.

I'll tell you my situation and you draw you're conclusion as to what he's doing.

As I told bluz4, I dated a girl for a couple of years. We were in love. It was the same situation as you and "b". We talked about marriage, kids, our careers...blah blah blah. Yet, I cheated on her. At times it got kind of bad. i don't know how she never found out about it. One day things came to a head between me and one of her best friends ( whom i had dated briefly before her). Her friend came over to my apt one day and didnt tell my then GF/her one of her best frineds. 5 minutes in our convo we start yelling at each other and then she starts crying. one of her sorirty sisters lived right across from me ( not even 3 steps from her front door) and she heard it all. We ended up in the hall way yelling at each other and she was a crying mess ( she was crying because I told her that my GF and her other best friend both talked shit about her behind her back). It was a lot of drama. Then the other best frined came over with my GF a few hours later. I was trashed on G and all hell broke loose. Their friend/romate, katie, started going off on me. I went off on her for yelling at me and told her she had no right to be bitchin at me for my actions when she got tag teamed by two of my boys the week before at my apt and the other two had no idea she was even at my place the week before. I was pissed that they were coming at me the way they did but were just as scandelous behind each others back. Well, my GF and called it quits right then and there. I went out with my boys and don't remeber much from that night afterwards. The next week my ex and i started talking and she wanted me back. For some reason i didnt get back with her and immediately started dating another girl. It hurt her. I had huge parties still and my ex and her roomates still came to them while my new GF was there. It sucked. One night i was so trashed and i had about 50 peopel at my apt rollin.....i started making out with my new GF in front of everyone. My ex right right there in front of me. She got pissed and left. The next weekend i had another party without my new GF. At that party we had about 30 Chi Omegas there getting crazy. At one point I had about 13 people in my bed room and I was in my bed with 3 Chi Os (I've got pics to prove it) and we were getting crazy. next thing I know....my ex walks in my apt and someone shut my bedroom door so she couldnt come in. A few minutes later, she starts blowin my cell up while i'm in bed with these chicks. Then she starts banging on my bedroom door. Someone opneed the door and she walked in it with all these peopel in there laying around on the floor and in chairs. She saw me in bed with these 3 girls and flipped out. It was a big mess, a really big mess. evenutally I smoothed things out with her and chilled out on all the parties. I told her I broke up with the girl she knew i was dating and she started coming around to being normal again. We started having sex again. Finally one day I broke down and told her what all was really going on. She was humiliated to a level i couldn't fully understand at the time. by the end of that term she had put in to transfer to LSU and I to transfer to USF in tampa. We had no idea both of us were transferring. After she moved and I moved....things were still bitter between us. After awhile I started changing from my old ways and felt horrible for what i did to her during our tenure together. She's such a great person and woulda broken her back for me. It took me some time, but after a while i realized what exactly I had lost. I wanted to make things better between us. I just felt so bad for what I did to her. In time we eventually started seeing each other at the most random palces and never planned on it. I saw her in New orleans, NYC, key West, Miami, Atlanta and in Cancun. After that we started talking a lot. i told her how i felt and that I wanted her to fogive me in time and maybe we could still be friends. today, we're still freinds, talk on the phone and she even keeps me up to date on her family. We've talked about the "getting back together" issue. We both agreed it couldn't happen. She's about to move to paris to live and work. I'm just glad that we can still talk and be firends. but as she told me once, she has forgiven me...but she'll never forget. i think thats what you need to try to be with "B". I think things related to him and you will then be much less stressfull if you guys just become friends again.


Hope I helped...


Cash-

Re: Re: OK my turn
 

craig,
thank you. you really do give good advice. my friends and family have pretty much told me the same thing so i'm just going to leave him alone. he's texted me and we've talked about the whole thing. but he's not sorry for what he did and i don't want to turn in my "self-love" card for him. plus he's coming so half-ass in his efforts to patch things up. i think i'm just done with that whole situation. i deserve better and i want better. but no i don't want a relationship right now, but i do want an honest partner who respects me.
much love to you though,
a new fan of yours.
enj

Jen-

Just ask him " Do you think its attractive to girls when you cuss in almost every sentence?" or you could say " Do you talk like that around your mother?" he'll get the point and actually respect you for it. Also, if you say something liek that....it's a start to where you'll have the upper hand in the relationship. You'll be able to get what you want without actually saying it......lol;) I'm really good at that.


Craig

lol... he actually wasn't so bad with the swearing in public as he was on the phone. but i will eventually bring it up to him if he continues. at least in public he made an effort to censor himself. maybe because there were other people around him.

but the date went okay. we talked a lot but i am not gonna push anything further than a friendship for now.

Ok,
same issue...


The idiot boy ignores me for 3 weeks after standing me up. I didn't make an effort to get in touch with him either because I want this insanity to end and just move on with life.
So I check my IQ this morning and there are 50 messages from him asking me if I'm there. Yesterday afternoon his final messgage to was, and I quote "guess u dont want to talk
thats fine i understand
bye".
My brother got pissed off at him too and messaged him back for me saying I was at work (I left my ICQ on, but in away mode)
So I message him back saying I have been busy and he hasn't been online (he's been on maybe a total of 5 times briefly in the past 3 weeks).
I know I shouldn't have done that, but I was so mad that he had the nerve to lay this guilt trip on me.
So, tonight I get home after working over time and I have another 5 messages from him asking me where I am. EXCUSE ME!! I was at work, I have things to do. I can't sit here waiting for you to talk to me.
I guess after my rant, my question is what the hell is his problem. I haven't seen him in months (so he's not getting any action from me) and HE stood me up when I was supposed to see him 3 weeks ago for the weekend and HE was the one who stopped talking to me. I just figured he lost his interest, so why is he laying this crap on me now?

[hijack from cashmoney]

You are allowing him to call the shots. If you are going to move on, anything he wants, feels or believes is irrelevant.

Another thing, lets assume he is hopelessly into you. He isn't it showing it in a way that you can relate to very well. Other boys call and send flowers, this guy blows you off forever.

Assumine he is just like this. Is this how you would want someone to show he cared?

If not, then block his name from your message lists, call block his number and move the hell on :)

If so, expect to suffer . . . a lot.

[/hijack]

OK I took your advise and ask the southern guy in my math class out. I did not want it to sound like a study group so I asked if he wanted to see a movie or something. He said that would be great and we chated awhile, I guess I was so freaking happy about me having the nerve and him agreeing that I forgot to give him my number. So I now have to wait till tomorow for math. How do I give him my number without seeming dumb or pushing?


Lost in math class.

Chris

See what happens when you have confidence? Congrats!:D

Ok, first....do you sit next to him? Just tell him to take your number down and give you a call later that night, that way he doesnt get confused as to when to call you. Tell him you'd like to go watch a movie this weekend ( or whatever night you want ). And make out like you really want to see this movie.


Lemme know what happens....


Cashmoney

hey cashmoney,

what GLO are you in?

Yours fool!

bump

Oh my God - this thread is hilarious! I can't believe I hadn't found it yet since I've been back. I have so much to say about it.

First of all, Cash, baby - most of your advice is great. I'll say it again - you know your s**t!

Regarding the post above, that is EXACTLY how one of my boyfriends won me over in college. He saw that the long-distance relationship I was in was becoming too much to handle, and swooped in for the kill as the "caring, sweet friend." (I've told you about him before, Cash - he was the Pike that acted just like you!)

Regarding how long you date before marriage, it's just a case-by-case thing... My parents dated three weeks before they got engaged and were married three months later (granted it was in "war" times) - they've been married 37 years.

Cheating genetic? No, but perhaps learned through the environment you grow up in - just like abuse.

And, finally, I asked for my advice through PM a few days ago because I am a secretive little girl... I haven't heard back and have basically just decided to move on from the boy. Some days are better than others, but I'm getting by. You better still reply though! :)

i have a question. Guys I am interested are always into my girlfriends. I always get your a nice girl, but I like so in so.
So what up with that dating god

Its all good baby, I'm getting to it tonight.

Sorry - I didn't mean to sound pissy! I am just an impatient little brat sometimes... I am very used to getting my way! :)

Anyway, I look forward to hearing what you have to say!

Its simple, stop bringing your guys around your girls. Understand something, its not smart to bring a hungry man to a buffet when you're the main course. ;)

Maybe its the exam drain, but I don't get it!

No, it makes total sense. If you want him to be interested in you and focus on you only, don't present him with other options or you are taking the risk that he may like another one better.

Not to continue with the food analogy, but let's say you're chicken and he really likes chicken, but your friend is beef. He may have been happy with chicken until he knew there was filet on the menu, and then he'll change his order. So make him commit to his order first!

Its good to know we now have two dating therapist. As I've said before, sweets, we're too much alike.

well if he would rather have beef then more power to him... i would rather not be stuck with someone that fickle.
BTW there is nothing wrong with me I am cute but short, and sometimes bossy but I am no magizine pin up like my friends. Maybe I just need ugly friends:D I am joking.

You know whats funny, a lot of girls do that...surround theirselves with less attractive chicks so they get all the attention.

I can't believe people do that on purpose.
Maybe I am skewed but I think all my friends are gorgous. I think I will just go back to not looking again. life is easy when there is no one of the opposite sex involved:rolleyes:

I, unfortunately am guilty of surrounding myself with girlfriends who aren't necessarily "ugly"- but not like me. I wouldn't introduce my bf (now fiance) to any girls who looked better than me. I was so scared when I went off to college that he would meet some bombshell when he came to visit me on campus and would run off with her. It never happened and I got the guy, but I know too many people who had their significant other just find someone else and leave.

Now that I know I have him for good, I'm a total attention whore and flash the ring and want other women to stare at him, so I can be like "Ha! Back off biatch, he's MINE!":D

Sorry - hope I wasn't stealing your thunder!

You know what would be totally fun - we should start a column or a show or something... A "He Said/She Said" - men and women's perspective on the same subjects. (I am always looking for a way to make a quick buck!) :)

You know, I do have connections in the entertainment industry. You might be on to something. It'd be like Jerry Springer but not as trashy.

Funny you say this, becuase I am completely different. If he wants to be with me, he will. If he does not want me, then there is nothing I can do to stop him. And if a pretty face will make him run off with her, then he did not like/love me for me. Beauty fades over time (unless you have lots of Botox) all that matters is what is on the inside..... this why I dont get jealous.

rainbow,
that is my kinda attitude.

Okay... went on a date with a guy. We totally had nothing in common and I totally wouldn't want to pursue anything serious, but I think he could be fun for a little while. I worry that maybe he won't think the same since I am a bit more reserved. If he doesn't call, should I? When and how? What should I say? "Hey, I know we wouldn't work out, but..." Just kidding, but really I don't know. Or should I just forget about it - like if he doesn't call, I probably weirded him out and don't want to do so anymore. There are other potential boys, so it won't ruin my night if you tell me to cut my losses.

HELP! :)

In college, harkening back to basketball, Mr. Silver's friends called this the "Time of Possession Rule."

Silver

Thats pretty clever :)

If you don't like him that much it gives you a lot of power, so definitely call him. you have almost nothing to lose, no emotional risk.

Call him, soon, if already havent. Ask if he'd like to do something some time and take him some place that shows you're not so reserved. Take the lead in it all. Give it another shot, if it sucks the second time....bail.;)

As life always sets it up, it is feast or famine for me...

I have not met anyone new in months, then recently I started seeing someone new. We hung out Saturday afternoon, and I asked him if he wanted to come with me to meet up with my friends that night. He declined, so I went to my friend's place, and met someone else, who lives about two blocks from the first guy. I am a free agent until I am told otherwise, right?

He called. I've seen him twice since then actually - and I'm pretty sure he knows I'm not so reserved now!!! ;)

Absoluely.

When I was younger and stupider, I sometimes turned down offers from guys after I'd gone out some other random guy ONCE. Until you're officially a couple--keep those options open.

Good thread cashmoney.

On point advice.