Everybody clap your hands...
 

The ladies in front of me at church didn't have pom-poms, they had these:

http://www.wigglesntunes.com/images/hands.gif

:eek: :rolleyes:

They could be Crazy in Love with the Lord?? http://www.websmileys.com/sm/sad/533.gif I know I'm reaching. But there are sooooo many young people in gangs (my child pointed out a schoolmate that couldn't have been more than 10 yrs old) the church is desperately trying to reach out to them. And not everyone responds to traditional hymns.

/hijack.

Back to the subject.....

lol a visiting preacher at my church started saying the words to Nelly hot in herre and thought that no one would notice.

Actually, that wasn't really a hijack. That's exactly why they started doing it (a choir of college students you see). One choir started, then another choir heard of it and started doing it, and so on...

Anyway, was anybody else disappointed when they realized the communion wine was really Welch's? I was so hip to get my mouth on some real wine. The first time my parents let me have communion, I caused a right fuss, I was thinking I could've stayed home that Sunday if they were gonna give me snack-time favorites.

We have real wine at my church, and grape juice, however sometimes the wine is straight NASTAY! Even worse is the cup that gets passed around, I am not a fan of germs, so when they offer smaller cups I take one. I like intinction a lot as well.

Same event I mentioned before, we had a small group for young adults and were doing our own communion. We had sparkling wine and garlic herb dinner rolls. That combination causes a lot of fizzing due to the yeast and the bubbles. This happened before we caught the cross on fire (ooops).

OMG, I was at an event where they served communion to over 5,000 people, so to make things go more efficiently, we had "communion fondue." I. KID. YOU. NOT. When you passed by the station, you grabbed a piece of bread (it tasted like french bread) and dipped it in the pitcher of juice and ate it as you walked by. It was the only way they could served all those people without having to pause to let them eat and drink.

Yeah, the dipping is called intinction. Our large gatherings have stations set up, and you can drink from the common cup (I am not about that, GERMS!), or dip the body into the blood. Now that I think about it, my church growing up had wafers, and we set up the cups before hand on a alrge tray. I haven't been to another church with wafers, it has been all kinds of bread.

Ok, thank you, I feel a little better knowing it has a name. :)

You have real wine at your church?? What church did you say this was... I may have to attend (just kidding).

When you know what time it is by when a member finally arrives at church.

This lady never comes before 11:30-11:45 on any given Sunday. One Sunday she actually had the nerve to testify on why she was late THAT particular day. Me and my mom started laughing so hard tears ran down my cheeks. I wanted to ask so bad:

'If this was why you were late TODAY, Why are you late the other 51 Sundays in the year? Church starts @ 10:45 (10:00 in the summer) and you never get here before 11:30 I wanted to say so bad"


Also you know you attend a ghetto Christian church when the ushers have conversations with the folks in the pews holding up the collection. My mother is in charge of the floor and every Sunday I look at her face to see what level of mad she is at and try to get her to calm her facial expressions because one of the ushers is 5 pews behind everybody else because they were talking.

lol ohh 4real im an usher and the head of the usher board get mad at us when we fall behind when we take up collection but she be stoppin havin conversations with the preacher's wife in the middle of the isle.lol

Sounds JUST like my church!! Te he he he!

You Know you are in a ghetto church.....
 

.....When some of the deacon board have these suits:

http://www.adamgreenspan.com/images/pimps.jpg

Re: You know you are a ghetto christian if....
 

ROTFL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
You did not just break out the church fans. Girl, you have TRULY brought back some memories.

YOU KNOW YOU IN A GHETTO CHURCH WHEN THE PASTOR AND ALL THE DEACONS ARE IN SECRET SOCIETIES LOL