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@DGTess: Note that there was a caveat: " if little Suzie was of dubious moral character or legal status that she would NOT be offered a bid". So a bid is not offered blindly.
@33Girl: Quotas are still an atificial limit on size, and as an extension an artificial limit on the size of an eritire house is just as silly. A rushee could decide if they want to be a member of a large house, just as easily as they could decide to be a member of a smaller house. Or they could choose based on belief or fit. But you take away a choice if you impose quotas. If you extrapolate the quota system to other things, does that mean that you should limit the size of members into other college club/organization (like the Glee club or Band or the Accounting Club)? Should it be applied to church sizes? Or political parties? Or to cities or states? Of course not, because it IS artificial. But the SIZE of an organization will work itself out over time. Some people may LIKE large groups, and others may NOT. The problem with legacies is exasperated by miscommunication of the chapter to the mother/grandmother/aunt. Often a call to them could ease the problem, because information does get shared. And it is important to remember that this applies to ALL GLOs, male or female. |
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Another huge generalization, I know. Flame me if I'm WAY off. |
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The problem is that as long as national groups keep giving awards that are based on size (meeting total/quota) rather than percentage of members retained, girls are going to believe that bigger is better. And, I think that's just an American viewpoint in general. Bigger just through dint of more members paying dues, has nicer housing and more opportunities (social and educational). Bigger keeps getting bigger, smaller dies out and there IS no choice but bigger. Unfortunately, that just seems to be the way that females think. So, until we can entirely change that mindset, using quota/total is the lesser of two evils (the other evil being chapters closing). |
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it is often the same with young women when they decide who to date. most often they try to date the most attractive, popular guy they can-they rarely aspire to date the campus dork. ten years down the road, the most popular guy in college may still be stuck in the "frat boy" mentality, while campus dork has blossomed into a successful, suave individual, but we rarely look that far in the future and we can't change human nature.
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Because who you want to be when you grow up doesn't always fit best with the type of people you like to be around and what your personality is. Nevermind the whole "pick the house" statement because recruitment doesn't typically involve picking so much as ranking them. |
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It was more like "Hey- these are the hot, pretty partiers who date the best fraternity men. I want to be them." |
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On the topic of legacies, I have been wondering lately about what happens if the person you are a legacy to is deceased? For instance, while ADPi was not on either of my campuses, if I had gone through recruitment what should I have done as my grandmother was a member, but had died decades ago? Should I have tracked down another ADPi and told them or does the legacy status end with the death of the member? I have a feeling that might vary depending on what sorority we are talking about and I do not mean to single out ADPi that was only an example. I was just wondering if there was a procedure to go through.
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Isn't there a legacy form to fill out and send to the chapter? I wouldn't have known my grandmother's pin number or anything like that.
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We do have space on our rec form to indicate if the rec is for a legacy (not a separate form), but I don't believe it asks for the relative's badge number. I believe it only asks for her name, chapter and initiation date. The recruitment director will use that info to verify her legacy status. |
Ah okay thank you. The thought had popped into my head when reading this thread and while I know what to do for KD, I wasn't sure about other sororities.
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This year we had a legacy PNM whose mother was deceased. Mom's pledge sisters jumped in and a bunch of them sent Intros and Recs just to make sure she was "covered". The daughter is now one of our new members.
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Trust me; chapters do not release PNMs, especially legacies, that they want as members. Chapters release PNMs that they would take as members and invite back the PNMs to whom they would like to offer bids. |
[QUOTE=lyrelyre;1840262] Additionally, a chapter cannot have contact with a PNM or her family.
/QUOTE] That's another problem; a chapter SHOULD be able to contact it's alumni to inquire about a legacy (for good or for bad). And once again, an artificial limit is put in place. Common sense says it's courteous to alumni to talk about little Suzy the legacy, regardless of the subject, and probably best because some of those alumni have experience and knowledge OR INFORMATION that a 18-22 year old or a 'chapter advisor' or 'rush consultant' do NOT have. |
Think about when you were in school though...if someone's grandma had called you asking about her granddaughter that she loves more than anything on earth, wanting to know if she got a bid. What Grandma doesn't know is that her pride and joy spent the summer partying at the FGH fraternity house, sleeping with half the brothers and doing lines of coke off their charter.
You need to put yourself in a 19 year old's position and think about how horrid that situation would be. I know we had a sister (eventually terminated) whose dad was an administrator at the college - she was the wildest girl I ever knew, and her dad blamed US for corrupting her. Nothing could have been further from the truth!! That situation was bad enough, I can't imagine what the girls go through who are dealing with hundreds of legacies (not all of whom are as squeaky clean as they appear on paper). Sororities are collegiate groups whose members are chosen by college students. For better or worse, that's the way it needs to stay, unless the whole system is completely revamped into something more like a job or college entrance interview. |
See itb's other 6 posts for history of his/her tour on the bitter bus.
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The fact remains: most people don’t know if their daughter/niece/granddaughter has a bad reputation. It’s probably a generational thing, because sisters generally do know of one another’s reputations. Like I said: I'm not calling little Suzy's mother/aunt/grandmother and telling her that little Suzy might look good on paper but she's really a skank. |
I've been ruminating on something while reading this thread..I never thought of release figures as mandatory or arbitrary.
Release figures are based on a formula, and that formula is derived from historical return stats. The most popular chapters therefore have to release the largest number of pnms, because their stats indicate that they will very likely have their choice of their favorites accept their invitations. If a group has a variation in their returns, they can appeal to the panhellenic advisor in charge of rush to be flexible with their return rates to maximize the chance of pledging quota right? and vice versa, a chapter having extraordinarily high and unexpected returns might be asked to whittle their invite list down for the benefit of the system, and to avoid having too many women that end up bidless. All the chapters agree to abide by the system because its the most efficient way to manage the recruitment of a large number of new members. None of us could or would want to pledge all our legacies, but because we all promote the system to our friends and classmates and legacies we all mutually benefit from the system. It's not perfect, but it does work something along the lines of what Ronald Reagan once said..."when the tide comes in, it raises up all the boats in the harbor." I amy not have all this exactly right, but maybe someone whose been involved more recently with the RFM can give their perspective? |
You're thinking of flex lists. When given a number that the chapter can invite back, they are often also asked to give a + and - list with a specific number of PNMs ranked. So if the chapter does better or worse than expected, they are covered. IMO this makes it not arbitrary at all.
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One of my friends did that when her daughters went through recruitment, but we didn't include it with my references on her daughters. She sent it to the chapter with a note. |
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Like 33girl said, I have no desire to call Suzy's Grandma to ask her why her sweet princess has the most alcoholic, trampy pix on Facebook I've ever seen or why she only earned a 2.1 GPA with an ACT score of 15. Nor do I or any member of my team have the time to call Grandma and the other 99 legacy PNMs' alumnae that are going through our nearly 1500 PNM Recruitment. These are the same reasons are why I'm happy my GLO no longer requires us to make those unpleasant calls to alumnae after a legacy is released. |
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I understand that we should notify the relative of the release, but I totally disagree with having to tell them that "Suzy has questionable grades and has beer pong pics on Facebook." As far as my sorority goes, THAT is part of Membership Selection. It's very private. We would never tell any other PNM or her family the exact reason that she was cut, so I fail to see why we should do it for legacies. |
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I knew I had read an article on this very topic, and sure enough, it was from our Adelphean Magazine and is in the public domain. You can read it here.
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I understand why legacies are given some extra treatment (at some places that is). I mean the parents do have more of a clue about greek life than non-greek parents, but on the other hand, I feel like it puts pressure on the PNM. If I don't like Mom/Sister/whatever sorority will they be mad? If Patty PNM is a legacy to XYZ the other sororities will cut her because that is the only place she will want to be.
The two examples I put above have been things I've heard tossed around GC or on my campus. A girl I have known all my life went through recruitment after her mother and sister went through on the same campus. Older daughter almost didn't continue through recruitment because she didn't like her mom's chapter. The second daughter was crying when she went through because she didn't know what to do with her family's chapters. Was she supposed to love them? She ended up pledging her sister's sorority (sisters squared) and her mother was fine with that, but both daughters had a lot of pressure and needless worry because of the legacy factor. It makes sense to me, but on the other hand it doesn't. |
I think the level of worry that a PNM experiences in regards to being legacy (i.e. worrying if mom will be upset about her not liking XYZ/getting cut from XYZ/dropping XYZ) depends on the type of parent/relative we're dealing with.
If you have an ultra supportive mom who really just wants to see you happy and didn't really push the legacy chapter, you likely aren't going to be TOO hung up on getting cut from there or dropping them (or just not liking them). However, if your mom is the type who feels that come hell or high water, you WILL be an XYZ, has been grooming you for XYZ since birth and nothing else will do, you likely are going to be pretty worried about whether you get invited back there. Mom's approval depends on it. |
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I was curious about one of the legacy policies- "Any chapter not at Total the term before the formal recruitment period must extend a bid to any legacy participating in formal recruitment. Any exception to this must be approved by the District Team Director". I haven't heard of that policy with any other group. |
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When I was in school, a 5-generation legacy rushed us. She made it abundantly clear from Open Houses on that she did NOT want to go greek, that her family was forcing her to rush. By the second round, I had to make the call to our DTD and tell them she didn't want to rush, and she in turn called our EO. No go. The next round, it was obvious that not only did she not want to rush, she didn't want us - and frankly, we didn't like her. Long story short, we pledged her, she came to about half of the pledge meetings, got initiated at Convention, and transferred to a school without a chapter of ADPi. I'm going to go out on a limb and say that, if she ever had a daughter, she did not pressure her to go ADPi! The better news is that she had a fantastic roomie, who pledged with her and fit in from Bid Day on! Having said that, I do know of another legacy who was completely obnoxious - her mother, two aunts, and two cousins are all ADPis - but the chapter was luckier with her. A Traveling Counsultant AND the DTD were there during Recruitment, met her, and they made sure that she stayed cut! |
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I think it's awesome that there are 9- and 10-generation legacies (of any org) out there, though. I'm not trying to diminish legacy status by any means. |
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It sounded to me, too, that the collegians didn't want her skank ass in the chapter. Maybe I read it wrong, but it sounded like the chapter wouldn't have been allowed to refrain from bidding the girl without the support of the TC and DTD.
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And yes, it's FANTASTIC when the higher-ups back up the collegiates' decisions! |
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