texas*princess as she came in. She was meeting someone there, and as she made her way through the room, she spotted them in the corner. She made her way to the table, and said...

wwwooooooohooooooo I love my sorority and greek life in gerenal.. Yeah!!!!!!!!! where is Optimist Prime? I need to speak to him about how long to cook horn dogs.. ""Shut up, Listen" is insulted by......

Tom Earp. "I am the cook here, oh young one. I can cook horn dogs and throw down a great barbeque KC style." texas*princess says, "Thanks Tom, but I prefer my barbeque Texas style." Of course, this leads to a huge debate about barbeque from all of the Texas people. Tom says, "YADA YADA YADA! I've been throwing down barbeque since before you were born!"

Suddenly, there is a Texas versus everyone else barbeque style riot. All of the Texas people are trying to kick ass except texas*princess because she is too sweet to fight. :) Suddenly, lifesaver gets hit in the head with a bottle of bourbon. Glass crashes down as lifesaver is knocked out. Holding the broken bottle is...

James...."sorry dude, it was for your own good, drunky mcdrunkerson" when from out of no where he is grabbed on the ass by a hot young sorority chick named...

ilovemyglo, who just can't seem to get enough of the GC men. although she is upset over lifesaver bein' out cold, she winks to james and says, "james, you know how you wanted me to...........

show you that thing that I can do. Well, the time is now." She continues to pinch his butt.

James says, "Ilovemyglo, not now. I prefer my women pierced and tattooed. Also being a stripper doesn't hurt. You are too innocent for me."

UF_Pike shows up and says, "Are you crazy James?! She's hot and she looks like Buffy. Ilovemyglo, if James doesn't want you, maybe you should be with a stud like me. I've already tried that thing that you can do with a variety of hot blonde sorority women from Florida. I can teach you a thing or two."

Ilovemyglo is torn between James and UF_Pike. She then has a brilliant idea...

She says something weird in french.

-Rudey
--Something about menage a trois with the Alpha Gam of his choice.

OTW, has to be

listening because she begins to talk to ilovemyglo in french as well.

TomE, looks in on the conversation in astonishment and exclaims "Huh??!?!?!?!?!"

Rudey claims "OK, OK texas princess and the 2 Alpha Gams, but no more."

-Rudey
--Kicks Tom in the Jimmy and tells him to mind his own business.

Rudey, UF_Pike, and DeltaSigStan are still speaking French to ilovemyglo, OTW, texas*princess, and every woman on GC. ilovemyglo, still stinging from the rejection by James, thinks maybe hmmm.

Just then lifesaver regains consciousness and is shocked by the recent developments among the GCers. He screams, "James you bastard. I was fighting for my state's barbeque bragging rights, and you had to go and knock me out with a bottle of Jack Daniels. Now you try to steal my girl, ilovemyglo. Plus you're speaking French and we are boycotting French things"

James has had enough of this. "We have been distracted from our mission." He then realizes that the drinks have been spiked with Spanish Fly by the anti-greeks in order to undermine the GCers and greeklife in general. It had to be an inside job. James yells, "There is a traitor among us!" The GC traitor could only be one person...

"CREAM!! her name makes no sense to anyone, it has to be her!"
startled by hearing her name screamed louder than 2 cats in heat in july, cream stands up and states, "them's fightin words" and begins yet another bar brawl......NYC taught this chick 2 things:

... there's no such thing as a fair fight and that Noo Yawkers have Ph.D's in using every known four-letter word and its compounds as noun, verb, subject, predicate, adjective and even punctuation!

Meanwhile, back at the GC ranch ...

Tom Earp tells Rudey to member, he wears a Doublre D Cup in his Jeans! Cream says, We will sue him!

While the Stud Cats are talking Parly vu France, they do not remember that we all talk GC! DUH

While prowling the bistros to find some other sane GCers who are doing tex-mex and Te-kiil-ya, he sees OTW in Coconty Shells over her head like Ear muffs!

Asking her where the Evil Darth James is hiding the women of the night, she slurs:

"lookie at my hat............it yoosed to be my bra....but oh no! jamez frigged it yup!"

realizing he won't get a good answer from a drunken OTW, Tom moves on to ask..........

Optimist Prime. Unfortunetly, he's doing the tex mex taco salad, taking a shot of tequila and two shots of mescal after each bite. O-Prime goes to puke, comes back, swallows the worm, pukes again, and says "stupid hell test I'm not going to hell. *hicup* Its times like this that I thank god i'm an atheist*hicup*" His hicups get louder and louder, knowing that the second best way to cure hicups is to bring up thoughts on random isht, Tom asks O-Prime....

How many colors are there in a rainbow??? Tom thinks for a while, and says, "Uh, I think there's six, or something like that". Optimist thanks him for the info, then stumbles away, thankful the hiccups are gone, and comes across....

...this amazing girl with pretty brown eyes. As she places her water on the table, she notices O-prime. She's as interested in him, just as he's interested in her. They began to walk toward each other, when....

all of the sudden Tom informs everyone there is a tornado heading that way. However, no one listens to Tom because he was announcing it in Earpisms that no one could understand without thinking for a few minutes and since everyone at the GC Ranch was completely hammered no one could remember how to think. O-prime and the beautiful girl finally reached each other, and the girl said.....

"Duuude, my name is Cream....how YOU donig???"

Then "ignition" comse on and everyone decised t oboycott the song cause it "poorly written"

**eddited casue I am too drunk to wrote soemthing funnay

distracted by the poorly written r. kelly ditty, o-prime walks on and passes up the good time of his life. cream is heartbroken....distressed, she decides to....

**lol at my girl ivory....

wrap OP around her little finger. The line 'How you doin'?' works everytime on OP. Plus Cream's redhair and freckles are just too tempting for a mere mortal like OP to resist.

Tom however is still concerned about the tornado which is rapidly approaching. "YADA YADA YADA! We're going to OZ! Toto too! We're off to see the Wizard! Do you not care?"

Finally, the GCers see the seriousness of the problem. Tom our fearless leader barricades the door and tries to save the lives of all the GCers. But will it work? Will the drunken GCers survive? Only time will tell...

... whether our valiant GC'ers will survive the onslaught of what looks like an F6* tornado heading their way and turning everything in its path to sawdust! Or will they calmly await their fate playing one last round of 'Kill The Keg'? Tune in next time for the continuing saga of the GC soap opera!


(*There's never been a recorded F6 tornado; biggest one so far has been an F5, but the F6 is included just in case.)

The wind is beginning to tear away at the building where all the GCers are hiding. Tom looks at Cream and says, "There's something that I need to tell you...."

I got Greeklawgirl pregnant, but I just found out from Mysticat (because he knows everything, really!) that I am actually her long lost brother. Plus, she's married! What should I do?!?!?!" Cream stares at Tom, speechlees - quite rare for a New Yorker, and Irish one at that! Finally she says...

"You need to start drinking heavily. On second thought, that is what got you into trouble in the first place. Are you sure that she is your sister?"

"That's what Mysticat says." Tom adds.

"We need to go ask the wise and powerful James for advice," says Cream.

Tom and Cream find James and ask for his advice. After hearing the story, James approaches Mysticat.

"Take your medication, Mysticat! Last week you told me that you were my father. You have been watching too many movies. You're confused between fantasy and reality!" James yells

"So you mean that greeklawgirl isn't pregnant by me?" asked Tom.

"No, she is pregnant by you. She's just not your sister," says James.

Tom is torn. He knows what he has to do. What does greeklawgirl want? She is married to greeklawboy, but pregnant with the heir to the Earp cigar dynasty. Tom decides to take a chance. He asks all the lovely ladies for their help in selecting a proper engagement ring. He buys An Emerald Diamond in a Platinum Setting with Trillion Diamond Accents that LeslieAGD selected in the engagement ring thread. It is a gorgeous two carats from Tiffany's which amazingly had it ready in a few minutes.

Tom grabs greeklawgirl with ring in hand and proposes. "greeklawgirl, you are the loveliest of all the lovely ladies on GC. You would make me the happiest man on the planet if you would be mine forever. Will you become Mrs. Earp?"

Greeklawgirl is shocked. This proposal comes out of the blue. She opens her mouth and says....



*lol at xo_kathy a speechless New Yorker * :p

..."Tom, I don't know what to do! I'm a happily married woman. How did this happen?"

Tom is at a loss for words. Greeklawgirl stares agape at the gorgeous--yet surprisingly unostentatious--Tiffany ring.

"Um, Tom," she said. "If I say no, can I keep the ring anyway?"



Sidescript: Y'all can't write this kind of stuff while I am at work! I almost fell right out of my cubicle laughing!

Tom stares at greeklawgirl, his mouth working silently. He finally find the words to speak and says "what about the baby??" then walks away muttering "why do i always fall for Alpha Gams".

Meanwhile Greeklawgirl is staring at the ring, looks up, sees James and says.....

"Cha - ching, jackpot, check out the rock that I got. How much do you think I could pawn it for?"

James asks, "What would you use the money for?"

Greeklawgirl responds...

"To bail Arya out of prison after he tries to streak across the white house."

But then AlphaGamDiva showed up in leathers and started to spank

The President himself. Of course, Dubya isn't into this.

"Miss Diva you have me confused with the previous resident of the WHITE HOUSE." Diva is taken away in handcuffs and put in a holding cell where she runs into Arya who is still nude from streaking.

Arya spends his time in silent contemplation wondering what Jerry Garcia would do at a time like this. Suddenly a booming voice says, "Arya you are being punished for your wild ways and dishonesty. You claimed to be hung like a horse when clearly you are not and the world know this fact."

Arya is terrified when he realizes that this voice can be from only source. Shaking in fear, he looks up to see the face of...

Delta QTE who has arrived with the girls of the GC Party Bus, and various tolerable hottie members of FL ....with a huge smile on her face QTE says...

"Don't worry i won't hold your shortcomings against you."

Arya asked, "But can I hold my shortcomings against you?" ;)

AlphaGamDiva says, "Don't you ever stop, Arya?! Delta QTE, please ignore Arya and get us out of jail."

Delta QTE, the girls of the GC Party Bus and the hotties of FL conspire to break Arya and AlphaGamDiva out of jail. The Girls of the GC Party Bus use their womanly wiles to distract the male prison guards while the FL hotties try to break out the jail birds McGyver style. Using only dental floss, a prison issued spork, and some hair gel, the hotties create a device which leads to the escape. Arya finds the whole situation hilarious and starts to sing "Jailhouse Rock" which draws the attention of the prison guards. The guards in full riot gear approach the FL hotties, Arya, and AlphaGamDiva.

AlphaGamDiva says, "Arya, oh wise one, what do you suggest we do now?"

Arya says...

"hmm....well, i'm nekkid and fresh outta ideas......but maybe those leathers could be used for something....."

getting an idea, but not exactly arya's ;), alphagamdiva decides she has to take matters into her own hands. using her big booty squirrel powers, she hypnotizes the guards with her secret booty shake and all escape.....arya, however,

...was hypnotized as well and stayed behind in the jail cell as AlphaGamDiva and her rescuers make a run for it.

Once they are all on their way away from the jail, AlphaGamDiva leans over to Delta QTE and whispers....

"damn, Arya is one sexy babe." Delta QTE then gave a wink, all of the sudden Earp showed up in his military fatique saying something, but nobody could figure out exactly what. The secret service, confused at what Earp was saying, said to the other . . .

"He's a spy...grab him!!!"

Earp proclaims his innocence, but finds himself locked up in a federal prison. Again, the GCers are called on to make a dramatic rescue of their favorite funny poster, and it's decided that the point will be taken by....

Q!!
 

ZNTEKE and Trusted Assitant AGD1019 who are deep under covers coverts, find out The Earp Man is held being Tottooted against his will decide to make a secret incursion to save the Stalwart of Freedom and GC DOM! They put together a Team of:

AGDiva, Ivory, docetboy, and kitso.

Kitso said, "361 times I have imagined myself in this position..."

AGDiva interrupts, "I have imagined a position, too." ;)

Ivory and docetboy say, "Not now AGDiva!

Kitso says, "Yeah, save that big booty squirrel shake position for later." ;)

The sexual tension is making them forget about the rescue of President Tom Earp until Arya and Delta QTE arrive all sweaty and out of breath.

Delta QTE says...

I have been graped on by The Grapist! Oh please save me! I have been a victim of great violets .