sheeeiiiit, don't need no break....
the button is all fine and dandy, but every guy knows where that is (and if you don't, potna...i can't help you)....look for the spot where dr. grafenberg made famous...that's where the fun begins. or do a combo with the button.

Oh girl! We must be on the same page! I was just about to type most of what you said! I really like the part about cooking dinner and where the tongue should be! :eek: I didn't think of that but I am definately going to use it on my guy! Okay, here are my additions:


Do, as hard as it might seem, sit back and watch me get myself off. Don't try to jump in...play with yourself if you have to. It'll turn us both on and then we can go at it!

Don't answer your cell phone if it's ringing and we're going at it. It ruins the mood :mad:

Do initate toys into our sex life! Movies are okay too. Just don't ask if we can invite people to join us!

gosh, we must be sleeping with the same guys
i hate when we're trying to get in our mood and i see the screen lighting up
or i hear the '#1 by Nelly' playing. . .WTF!?!?
i will ask the guy to leave

and i hate it when guys ask me to find another girl
i'm not trying to live out a fantasy
i just want some @$$. . .

jadey, we should be sorority sisters. . .oh, wait. . .WE ARE!!!!

Ewww man! I will never think of Twinkies the same way again. :( That is almost as worse as what my first boyfriend referred to jelly doughnuts as (a woman on her period).

Yes, clit attention is important, but there's nothing worse than a partner who gets there and STAYS there. The clitoris is actually too sensitive for a lot of women. Like starang said, there's the G spot, which when worked right, is heaven. Besides, when I'm really hot and bothered, I can come from a backrub. :)

I would smack anyone who tried to answer the phone during foreplay. Can we say low class? :rolleyes:

me too. i love kisses on upper back and shoulder. the feeling is almost better than the sex itself! lol:D

as far as the donts go....

DONT stick your finger inside so far that i feel your nail scratching..
my scream isnt due to pleasure:p

You all are tempting pure people. :(;)

so then don't read :)

Oh. My. God. :o :o :o

You guys are TOO much! :eek: :D

DO: Worship me. I am a goddess. And even if you think I'm not, I am.
Don't: Tickle me. It is not a turnon and will get you nowhere.

DO: Make noises. Don't hold back. They're sexy. Really.
Don't: Expect to be able to just shove it in. It takes a bit of work. And if you go soft, don't blame me.

HAHAHA!!!!!! You all are too funny!!!!! Some really good do's and don'ts.

The same goes for me.

Y'all are cracking me up . . .

a few more....
 

funny how these things just come to you during the course of a day.....

don't think that just b/c we had a fight "make up sex" is all it takes to make up...

do pay special attention to the girls.....i prayed for them for so long (17 yeeeears!!!!), now you can pray to them.

DO NOT act like just b/c you have been around the block and back and up the next street that you know more about sex than i do.....sometimes, it's a gift, not a learned skill ;)

um....

do wake me up for a morning romp, but please have tic-tacs at the ready

and finally.......(for right now, anyway)....

don't think foreplay consists of spooning and poking me in the back with lil' buddy...it's more than that

AMEN!

Also: DO learn to kiss... Im sorry but you need to learn how to use your tounge or you'll never make someone happy. Just dont use too much.

it's too early in the a.m., obviously...
 

the hits keep coming....

this is just a little side-note for all the guys out there gettin some he*d.....

if you know that there is a strong possibility of you gettin some oral action from a/your woman, DO eat an apple or another sweet fruit before hand, and avoid the fast food...this is all, of course, if you know she takes it like a champ.

i've tried to be so subtle (kinda), and not raunchy at all....but after ppl start talking about drying out and twinkies, and jelly donuts and those damn hang-nails, i thought it would be ok for me to mention one's daily dose of fruit. help a girl out, yo's!

Pure HELL! :rolleyes:

BTW, I am going to keep lurking...and keep my mouth SHUT! :p ;)

that would be an f*ing miracle

Re: a few more....
 

and they do this in the morning. . .WTF?!?!

DONT tell me how you are so experienced cause you have dated an older woman....i am not impressed

DONT ask me why i cannot come as well as your ex

DONT get an attitude with me cause i dont want any...i am not here to satisfy a 'man's needs'...i hate that line that a guy gives:mad:


DONT lure me into a sexual conversation and then argue with me cause i am not going to give you any action.
:mad: :mad:

Re: a few more....
 

Ditto, lol :)

This thread just keeps getting better by the minute!

speaking of the girls. . .

don't: bite
do: flick with your tongue
don't: grab forcibly
do: massage them with your fingertips
don't: jiggle them a little
do: lightly brush them with the back of your hand
do: shower them with kisses
do: trace them with your tongue

How could it travel the length of your body? Were you giving him a footjob?

Why don't you just swallow? Take one for the team.

some people aren't comfortable with the idea
it comes with age

w/ age??? Now I feel like a whore (I'm 21)! LOL....

Here's another one: Only 37% of women can come from intercourse. Do NOT act like I'm in the minority if I don't.

----AXJules, no doubt!!! oopsie! :o

I don't think it comes with age at all. It just comes down to personal preference, and it depends on the partner. We all have our own distinctive tastes, and some are more pleasing than others.

Experience, maybe. But age? Nope.

*as cream takes notes*

mwahahahha

No need. I wrote the book. :p Just kidding. ;)

Oh, you ain't kiddin'! You are one of those "silent types?" Ain't cha?! AIN'T CHA?! lol

j/k :)

lol! :D

This ish is hilarious - but so true!

I got some, too.

DON'T: ask me every 10 second when am I gonna cum...you mess up my concentration, and then I probably won't at all

DON'T: ask for a bj...if I feel like giving you one, you'll know...trust me....and especially don't ask for a bj in the middle of a normal, nonsexual conversation taking place nowhere near a bedroom

DON'T: wake your girl up for sex in the morning when you KNOW she's not a morning person...especially if you know that I will be pissed if I am awake before noon on a Saturday...if I am pissed (not to mention half-comatose), I am probably not horny...and if you still insist on waking me up, it better not be by poking me with your morning wood

DO: feel free to rub my back or play with my hair if I am going down there...just don't PUSH on my head...some girls have very sensitive gag reflexes, ok? We're not all Lil Kim with her "ill deep throat"

DO: look me in the eyes

and the number one thing that KILLS me:
If it looks like I am really enjoying it and I may be close to glory, DON'T suddenly change position, angle, speed, ANYTHING!!! Not only will I not cum, but I will be pissed that I got so close and then you screwed it up!!!
--------------------------------------------------------

My god, we're geniuses. This should be published.

LOL! :D

Ok, you're seriously on a little TMI. Things are kewl to share, and some things just need to be kept to yourself....


word.... :)

how is that TMI compared to the last nine pages? how did i go over the line?:confused:

It's not so much what you said, I've seen much much worse, it' WHO said it. :D You remind me of the little sister innocent type, where in fact you're a wild woman! :p;)

innocent? me? is that what everyone thinks of me? how do you come to that assumption about someone you have never seen?