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-   -   LB's/Dating/Frat Hoes (https://greekchat.com/gcforums/showthread.php?t=2883)

DSTCHAOS 03-31-2008 01:52 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by SummerChild (Post 1626722)
DSTChaos,

The reason that I personally have a problem with it is b/c it doesn't strike me as suitable to call any woman a derogatory term. I just don't think that it's good for our community to continue that kind of madness. This is why I have a problem with it. The title just doesn't strike me as something that is of the caliber to be on the Alpha Phi Alpha page and, appears at least to me, to disrespect all women. I was surprised to see it on the Alpha page.

SC
Hoes are hoes. There are male hoes, female hoes, black hoes, white hoes, Asian hoes, educated hoes, dumb hoes......

This is an old thread. Have you been surprised for all these years? :eek:

SummerChild 03-31-2008 01:52 PM
Frat,

I am surprised that it was started by a woman. But then again, in some ways, I unfortunately am not as many have become desensitized to this as well.

Ok, so if that term and the term "woman" don't belong together. What are we saying by using it? So now it's ok to disrespect some women? Is that what we are teaching the next generation?

SC


Quote:
Originally Posted by Phrozen1ne (Post 1626215)
Although this thread is on our message board, it was actually started by a woman. Also the last time I checked hoe and woman don't belong together.

DSTCHAOS 03-31-2008 01:55 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by SummerChild (Post 1626724)
What are we saying by using it?

That there are hoes.

Feminism doesn't remove the hoe label. Feminism means that the hoe label should be used for males and females, who fit whatever subjective criteria there is, equally.

Now if the person is a "sex worker" then he or she has rights and a labor union that backs them (no pun intended). That's a profession whereas being a HOE is not.

SummerChild 03-31-2008 01:58 PM
Actually, I don't come to this board very often but I have noticed it off and on for a while. It just struck me that I have been noticing it off and on for awhile and to just say something. But, as you know, the fact that it is an old thread doesn't have any relevance towards the point of my post.

SC

Quote:
Originally Posted by DSTCHAOS (Post 1626723)
Hoes are hoes. There are male hoes, female hoes, black hoes, white hoes, Asian hoes, educated hoes, dumb hoes......

This is an old thread. Have you been surprised for all these years? :eek:

DSTCHAOS 03-31-2008 02:26 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by SummerChild (Post 1626731)
the fact that it is an old thread doesn't have any relevance towards the point of my post.

SC
It actually does have relevance. But instead of helping to keep this 7 year old thread on top, maybe you can take your plea to an Alpha moderator via PM.

rbm 06-12-2008 12:46 PM
interesting
 
I just wanted to add my little bit. On the topic that started the post, I have a friend who has done this exact thing- and I haven't disowned her yet. Why? Because we have a mutual understanding that we view sex differently which I think is what this whole thing boils down to. She has her sexcapades and I disagree with them but that doesn't change the fact that she is my homie. Besides, discretion is the name of her game. Everyone involved knows that talking can bring a good thing to an end. Just because she likes to do the do doesn't make her any less of a good person. The guys aren't saints and their behavior can't be passed off as boys beings boys because they're just as dirty as she supposedly is if not more considering they have alot of this ocurring daily.
Everyone is entitled to their own opinion but at the end of the day it boils down to minding ur own darn business. Every promiscuous girl is not that way bc she's lost or wants attention. Believe it or not some girls like sex with no strings attached too-it's not only ok for the "men to "experiment" or "test the waters." If you don't like what someone is doing-don't concern urself with it. If it is forced upon u, let it be known that you're not interested-whether it be someone's sex life, probs with parents, class, what color shirt they're wearing to a party. It's life-and people are different. You don't like what someone is doing, show them how you feel by doing what you feel is right. Other than that-live ur life. Do you. Don't be concerned with the girl going through a row of frat brothers because if she feels it's wrong, she will deal with herself later.
In my opinion it looks worse for the frat bros bc people often associate them with their org. How about telling them to cut it out or slow it down? But people don't like to do that. Blame it on the woman..oh boy.

smc112 06-12-2008 05:28 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by rbm (Post 1667064)
In my opinion it looks worse for the frat bros bc people often associate them with their org. How about telling them to cut it out or slow it down? But people don't like to do that. Blame it on the woman..oh boy.
It does look bad for frat brothers to sleep with the same woman. I don't see how someone would over look that or try to point the blame on the female or try to ruin her character. They are in the same boat as far as morals go. Also, a lot of times people think that a woman is going through a whole fraternity and that might not even be the case. She might have just talked to one or two of them and some of the other Frat brother's might have approached her unknowingly. Especially if the woman is attractive, she might get approached by many men on the campus but that doesn't mean that she is running through a fraternity of guys. Anyway, the fraternity members need to just set some guidelines or standards in the way they conduct themselves. They should have an unspoken rule not to talk to a woman that another frat member has talked to. That way they don't have to ever worry about ruining a woman's character or theirs. There is definitely a double standard thing going on here. If you are sleeping with someone that isn't your husband/wife that is far too many. That applies to everyone: Male and Female. There's no difference!

PrettyBoy 06-14-2008 01:22 AM
I read through these new posts. As far as fraternity brothers discussing with each other who they've screwed or how many jokers in the fraternity she's screwed, rather they're having formal meetings about the garbage or whatever....blah blah blah. To me that's just pointless discussions. Fraternity member, regular joker, gdi joker, or whatever, as long as a man or woman sleeps with more than one person at a time without a monogomous relationship and refuses to stay with one person, is a skank. Man or woman. It doesn't matter.

I wouldn't even get into a pointless azz discussion with a Nupe, Alpha, Que, Sigma, Iota, gdi or or whoever, who can't keep his d*** in his pants. And I damn sure wouldn't associate myself with a whoremongering, no good, skank azz woman who can't keep her legs closed.

To me, jokers like this are all skank snakes who don't love or respect themselves. Period.

smc112 06-14-2008 10:40 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by PrettyBoy (Post 1667844)
I read through these new posts. As far as fraternity brothers discussing with each other who they've screwed or how many jokers in the fraternity she's screwed, rather they're having formal meetings about the garbage or whatever....blah blah blah. To me that's just pointless discussions. Fraternity member, regular joker, gdi joker, or whatever, as long as a man or woman sleeps with more than one person at a time without a monogomous relationship and refuses to stay with one person, is a skank. Man or woman. It doesn't matter.

I wouldn't even get into a pointless azz discussion with a Nupe, Alpha, Que, Sigma, Iota, gdi or or whoever, who can't keep his d*** in his pants. And I damn sure wouldn't associate myself with a whoremongering, no good, skank azz woman who can't keep her legs closed.

To me, jokers like this are all skank snakes who don't love or respect themselves. Period.
I don't know if you were replying to my post or just talking in general. Anyway, I wasn't meaning that men should discuss personal things as who they have slept with. For one thing, that is very personal and shouldn't be discussed with anyone. When you become grown that is your personal business and shouldn't be broadcast to anyone. What I was meaning with Fraternity members, is that they shouldn't go and talk to a woman that another frat brother talked to or dated. They don't have to know if the frat brother slept with the woman or not. All they need to know is another frat member was interested in her and dated her, and there should be a boundary that they shouldn't cross! That right there will keep things under wrap and prevent a bunch of mess.

Also, by reading your statements above you shouldn't be so judgmental. Everyone has a past and there is not one thing that God can't forgive people for. If you have ever slept with someone outside of marriage, you are a whoremonger according to God's word. There is no big or little sin, and you are no different from the people that are very sexual promiscuous. Anyway, I'm not trying to offend. I'm just given a different perspective from a biblical standpoint. ;)

PrettyBoy 06-15-2008 08:11 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by smc112 (Post 1667937)
Also, by reading your statements above you shouldn't be so judgmental. Everyone has a past and there is not one thing that God can't forgive people for. If you have ever slept with someone outside of marriage, you are a whoremonger according to God's word. There is no big or little sin, and you are no different from the people that are very sexual promiscuous. Anyway, I'm not trying to offend. I'm just given a different perspective from a biblical standpoint. ;)
I didn't take offense to your post. I agree with it. smc112 there are certain people we like to be around and certain people we don't like to be around. That's not being judgemental to me. I don't like being around people like that. When I said whoremonger, in my eyes I'm talking about the opposite. I'm talking about courtship. I'm talking about when you begin to date ONE person exclusively, frequently, and with the purpose of determining if this is the person with whom you truly want to spend the rest of your life. This thread, or most of the posts that I've read on here are about people sleeping around. Yes, I agree with you 100%. Anyone who engages in sex outside of marriage is violating God's law. I'm not judging, because that's not my place to do so, but IMO it's a form of some type of disfunctional behavior when people start having sexual relatations with multiple people. To me, a relationship begins with a decision to date only ONE person and ends in a formal engagement or a difinitive dissolution of the relationship. I don't take the multiple partner thing lightly. IMO, courtship either ends in an engagement or a breakup, not when you're involved with 2 and 3 jokers at the same time.

I'm glad to see you've included the bible in this discussion. When you get a chance read Solomon 2:8-3:5.:)

DSTCHAOS 06-15-2008 08:39 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by PrettyBoy (Post 1668518)
smc112 there are certain people we like to be around and certain people we don't like to be around. That's not being judgemental to me.
:) Ditto.

The key is that once you (general) realize who you don't want to associate with, go on about your (in general) business instead of slinging the person's reputation through the mud. As it relates to this topic, the "hoe" label exists because people were running their mouths. :) As it relates beyond the issue of sex, there are a lot of things and people that we don't associate with. Go on about your (general) business and don't volunteer info that ruin someone's reputation.

smc112 06-16-2008 12:58 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by PrettyBoy (Post 1668518)
To me, a relationship begins with a decision to date only ONE person and ends in a formal engagement or a difinitive dissolution of the relationship. I don't take the multiple partner thing lightly. IMO, courtship either ends in an engagement or a breakup, not when you're involved with 2 and 3 jokers at the same time.

I'm glad to see you've included the bible in this discussion. When you get a chance read Solomon 2:8-3:5.:)
I agree that people should be dating towards marriage. Why waste time dating a person that you can't see yourself ever marrying? Like my pastor says, "If you aren't ready for marriage, then you shouldn't be dating!" :)
Also, dating various people at one time can have a lot of repercussions.

Anyway, what book where you referring to? Is it Proverbs or Ecclesiastes? You wrote Solomon, and I wasn't sure which book you wanted me to read because Solomon wrote both books.

PrettyBoy 06-16-2008 08:25 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by smc112 (Post 1668639)
Anyway, what book where you referring to? Is it Proverbs or Ecclesiastes? You wrote Solomon, and I wasn't sure which book you wanted me to read because Solomon wrote both books.
My bad. I was referring to the Song of Solomon. 2:8-3:5

PrettyBoy 06-16-2008 08:54 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by smc112 (Post 1668639)
I agree that people should be dating towards marriage. Why waste time dating a person that you can't see yourself ever marrying? Like my pastor says, "If you aren't ready for marriage, then you shouldn't be dating!" :)
Also, dating various people at one time can have a lot of repercussions.
Exactly. To me, IMO it's a waste of time dating just to be dating. A lot of jokers date to just date. Hey, whatever floats their boats.

But yes, I agree with you 110%. To me, dating is a prelude to marriage. A lot of young jokers are concerned about when they are ready to date. Like you said, they're ready to date when they're ready to begin the process of choosing someone to marry or when they have convictions they will not compromise. When I date, I look for the spiritual disciplines and spiritual direction evident in the life of the woman I'm dating. I never rely on the "someday I want to" or "I know I need to" or "after I'm married, I hope to" pointless statements. I look for the evidence "today" right now in the life of the woman I'm dating. The women that just want to date for the hell of it and not date for a long term, monogomous and serious relationship, I leave alone.

All of this no commitment, multiple joker, let's screw garbage that's been discussed in previous posts on this thread is some sick $%#@!

smc112 06-16-2008 11:53 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by PrettyBoy (Post 1668992)
A lot of young jokers are concerned about when they are ready to date. Like you said, they're ready to date when they're ready to begin the process of choosing someone to marry or when they have convictions they will not compromise. When I date, I look for the spiritual disciplines and spiritual direction evident in the life of the woman I'm dating. I never rely on the "someday I want to" or "I know I need to" or "after I'm married, I hope to" pointless statements. I look for the evidence "today" right now in the life of the woman I'm dating. The women that just want to date for the hell of it and not date for a long term, monogomous and serious relationship, I leave alone.
You are right about people beginning the process of choosing someone to marry, when they have convictions they will not compromise. In order for people to have convictions, they must first have a relationship with God. When you mentioned that people are sleeping around with various partners and not looking for a monogamous relationship, those people do not have any guidelines or standards to abide by. In other words, they have a sense of lawlessness. God is the one who sets guidelines for people to follow by. When you have a relationship with him, you have to answer to a higher authority and you aren't going to feel "comfortable" doing the same things you used to do. For one thing, if people aren't loyal to God or looking for a "serious" relationship with him, they aren't going to be loyal to anyone let alone a monogamous relationship. The root of the problem is that they don't have Jesus. Before people even think of dating or getting married, they need to develop a relationship with him. Without Jesus within a marriage, it is bound to fail.

That is why it is so important to be equally yoked with whomever you marry. I noticed you mentioned that you wouldn't even consider talking to a woman who makes statements like, "someday I want to" or "I know I need to" or "after I'm married." You are right! That is your red flag that she might not be on the same spiritual level or that you might be unequally yoked. It is so important to be on the same spiritual level. You don't want to have a partner that's not on the same level of faith. When you believe God for something, you need someone there that has faith and not speaking doubt or unbelief. Also, you need a praying wife who knows how to stand in the gap and pray for her husband. When you become married, you become as one. So be very careful who you choose to become "as one" with! If you do meet a nice young lady that you feel might not be on the same page spiritually at first, you might want to wait for a year or two. Step back and let her develop a relationship with God, and then let God tell you when the right timing is to think of going further in your relationship. If you aren't willing to wait on someone to develop a relationship with God, then ask God to send you someone who is already saved and believing the same things you are. There are plenty of saved women on the planet, and God can direct you towards one! :) It is just an individual preference. Either wait on the individual you've had your eye on or just move on and find someone you are already equally yoked with. Also, don't wait too long. If you see that person's not making any progress toward God, you definitely need to move on! Another thing, don't ever be deceived. You can decipher when folks are serious about doing right and the ones who just tell you what you want to hear. A tree is known by the fruit it bears.

***Sorry for such the long reply, but you struck an interest when you started talking about marriage and folks doing right. LOL

smc112 06-17-2008 12:21 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by PrettyBoy (Post 1668979)
My bad. I was referring to the Song of Solomon. 2:8-3:5
I read the passage. It was rather interesting. I haven't read Song of Songs that much. Anyway, it was interesting what my bible's commentary had to say about this passage. This is what my bible's commentary said: "If love is so wonderful, as this poem beautifully sings, shouldn't people pursue it recklessly? Yet, the beloved warns them not to. Three times she urges others not to force love, but to let it develop at its own rate. Love should wait for its proper time."

PrettyBoy 06-17-2008 01:59 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by smc112 (Post 1669059)
You are right about people beginning the process of choosing someone to marry, when they have convictions they will not compromise. In order for people to have convictions, they must first have a relationship with God. When you mentioned that people are sleeping around with various partners and not looking for a monogamous relationship, those people do not have any guidelines or standards to abide by. In other words, they have a sense of lawlessness. God is the one who sets guidelines for people to follow by. When you have a relationship with him, you have to answer to a higher authority and you aren't going to feel "comfortable" doing the same things you used to do. For one thing, if people aren't loyal to God or looking for a "serious" relationship with him, they aren't going to be loyal to anyone let alone a monogamous relationship. The root of the problem is that they don't have Jesus. Before people even think of dating or getting married, they need to develop a relationship with him. Without Jesus within a marriage, it is bound to fail.

That is why it is so important to be equally yoked with whomever you marry. I noticed you mentioned that you wouldn't even consider talking to a woman who makes statements like, "someday I want to" or "I know I need to" or "after I'm married." You are right! That is your red flag that she might not be on the same spiritual level or that you might be unequally yoked. It is so important to be on the same spiritual level. You don't want to have a partner that's not on the same level of faith. When you believe God for something, you need someone there that has faith and not speaking doubt or unbelief. Also, you need a praying wife who knows how to stand in the gap and pray for her husband. When you become married, you become as one. So be very careful who you choose to become "as one" with! If you do meet a nice young lady that you feel might not be on the same page spiritually at first, you might want to wait for a year or two. Step back and let her develop a relationship with God, and then let God tell you when the right timing is to think of going further in your relationship. If you aren't willing to wait on someone to develop a relationship with God, then ask God to send you someone who is already saved and believing the same things you are. There are plenty of saved women on the planet, and God can direct you towards one! :) It is just an individual preference. Either wait on the individual you've had your eye on or just move on and find someone you are already equally yoked with. Also, don't wait too long. If you see that person's not making any progress toward God, you definitely need to move on! Another thing, don't ever be deceived. You can decipher when folks are serious about doing right and the ones who just tell you what you want to hear. A tree is known by the fruit it bears.

***Sorry for such the long reply, but you struck an interest when you started talking about marriage and folks doing right. LOL
Nope not long at all. This all makes sense and I couldn't have said it better myself.:p God comes 1st in everything always.

I want to just add a few things. IMO, I think those who are faithfully committed, regard their relationship as their most priceless possession, kind of like a genuine treasure. At least that's the way it is for me.:) Solomon's wife said "If a man would give for love all the wealth of his house, it would be utterly despised". I found that in Song 8:7.:D Basically, that's just saying, no amount of money could purchase the love you feel for your spouse or be worth destroying your marriage or relationship. I think this is an important concept to consider when it comes to the work each partner chooses to do. I don't think any job or career is worth losing a spouse over regardless of what jokers say.

I've also seen couples who seem to go their separate ways even though they're still together. Basically he does his thing, she does her thing, and the two of them rarely do the same thing. To me that's not faithful commitment. To me, a great relationship calls a person to a oneness of identity with another person. The bible teaches that Husbands are to love their "own" wives just as Christ also loved the church." "Husbands are to love their wives as their own bodies". To me, this type of love is very personal, and I believe it requires a certain loss of self to take another person so completely into your life that you make the other joker's concerns equal to your own. To me, that's faithful commitment. In a relationship, I wouldn't see it any other way. Let me stop before I keep going, because I'll end up typing all night long. LOL :D

A relationship between a man and a woman is meant to be shared by two people, and no more than two people. :)

PrettyBoy 06-17-2008 02:07 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by smc112 (Post 1669066)
I read the passage. It was rather interesting. I haven't read Song of Songs that much. Anyway, it was interesting what my bible's commentary had to say about this passage. This is what my bible's commentary said: "If love is so wonderful, as this poem beautifully sings, shouldn't people pursue it recklessly? Yet, the beloved warns them not to. Three times she urges others not to force love, but to let it develop at its own rate. Love should wait for its proper time."
Yeah, I like Song of Songs too. Solomon's wife pointed out another aspect of faithful commitment. She said "Many waters cannot quench love, nor can the floods drown it". I found that one in Song 8:7. That to me means love is meant to be an eternal flame. (as long as there's no cheating involved) I can't deal with that mess. One woman for one man and one man for one woman. Period.

smc112 06-17-2008 11:44 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by PrettyBoy (Post 1669116)
That to me means love is meant to be an eternal flame. (as long as there's no cheating involved) I can't deal with that mess. One woman for one man and one man for one woman. Period.

Yeah, cheating breaks the bond of trust. That is why Jesus said that it is the only lawful reason to get a divorce, because he knows that the trust is broken. I do have a question for you. Do you think it is wrong to date other people while you are single? I've had the mentality that you are free to talk to whoever while you are single. I'm not talking about sleeping around with various people. I'm talking about going out on dates and getting to know another individual. I feel that people should always keep their options open while they are single. You might find that the other individual might be more compatible with you and might be a better fit for a mate. Anyway, getting back to the original question. Do you feel that it is wrong for single people to date others? For an example, my sister was dating this guy and their relationship was always up and down. She met another guy while she was talking to her boyfriend. Guess what? The other guy she met, they got married and have been married for 6 years now and have two children together. If she were so adamant about a monogamous relationship, she wouldn't have ever met her husband. So I in a sense feel people need to keep all options open while they are single. What do you think?

PrettyBoy 06-18-2008 05:48 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by smc112 (Post 1669211)
I do have a question for you. Do you think it is wrong to date other people while you are single? I've had the mentality that you are free to talk to whoever while you are single. I'm not talking about sleeping around with various people. I'm talking about going out on dates and getting to know another individual. I feel that people should always keep their options open while they are single. You might find that the other individual might be more compatible with you and might be a better fit for a mate. Anyway, getting back to the original question. Do you feel that it is wrong for single people to date others? For an example, my sister was dating this guy and their relationship was always up and down. She met another guy while she was talking to her boyfriend. Guess what? The other guy she met, they got married and have been married for 6 years now and have two children together. If she were so adamant about a monogamous relationship, she wouldn't have ever met her husband. So I in a sense feel people need to keep all options open while they are single. What do you think?
Yeah, technically you are free to see other people if you're single(not married). You're not married, so technically it's o.k. It's just me. I only commit myself to one woman at a time, and if she's not the right one, I end the relationship, take a break for a while to work on myself, and then I move onto the next one. I never get involved with other women while I'm involved with my own. What you're doing isn't wrong because you are not married to him, but I do think the person you are seeing should be on the same page as you. Since you're not having sexual relations with other men, I don't see anything abnormal here. Honestly though, if you're having 2nd thoughts about him, you should let him know and break it off before you start to see other men. To me, I think it's only fair and the right thing to do.

When it comes to relationships, I think a lot of times people too often become consumed with the emotion of "romance", and very quickly after marriage, we find that the romance evaporates to reveal two very flawed jokers in a difficult world, which could have been the case with your sister if she would have married her X. I would rather stay with one woman and involve no other woman until I see my current relationship isn't going to work out. The reason why I mention how people get caught up in the romance of it all is because they don't realize that sooner or later they'll discover that the bright and happy romance has devolved into everyday living, and that's when they discover that their spouses have a shortage of character and virtue, then couples become discouraged and frustrated. This is why a lot of couples get divorced before the ink on the marriage license has dried. Me? I have to go in for the long haul. If I start to feel that she's not good for me, I would let her know before I started seeing another woman. No relationship is going to be roses, not even a marriage. I'm not sure what your situation may be, but IMO, as long as two people are physically attracted to each other, and have respect and love for each other, I don't see why they need to split or see other people.

I think what happens from the beginning in these relationships today, is people are quick to fall into romance, and then later, quick to bail out of commitment.

If you are involved with someone, whatever you may be going through, my advice to you is to make sure he is serving you. I mention this a lot in the D&R forums. This is important in any relationship. At least it is in mine. When you choose a person to get into a relationship with, especially for a woman choosing a man, because to me, there is nothing more winsome as a servants heart in a potential spouse. You have to ask yourself, is the man (I'm assuming you're a woman.:D) to whom you are attracted quick to give to others, or quick to go the 2nd mile in serving others? Or does this joker seem to live only for himself, withdraw the needs of others, or pretty much seek to satisfy himself only? A selfish, "do for me and don't ask me to do for you" joker is not someone you'll be happy with long term.

When you get some time, read Genesis 24:14. If I'm not mistaken this should elaborate on why I say a man should serve his woman. If it's the wrong verse let me know, but I think it may be the right one.

I hope you find the right man, if you haven't already.:)

ETA: Make sure you watch how he behaves when he's under pressure or stress too. That's important.

starang21 06-18-2008 12:08 PM
eff love.

Little32 06-18-2008 03:09 PM
^^Such a cynic.

DSTCHAOS 06-18-2008 03:12 PM
He's lying. :)

starang21 06-18-2008 04:45 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by DSTCHAOS (Post 1669922)
He's lying. :)
:wassat:

DSTCHAOS 06-18-2008 05:25 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by starang21 (Post 1669975)
:wassat:
You ain't neva effed love. Stop trynna ruin love's spiritual reputation.

Little32 06-18-2008 05:27 PM
lol.

starang21 06-18-2008 05:35 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by DSTCHAOS (Post 1670004)
You ain't neva effed love. Stop trynna ruin love's spiritual reputation.
love is a slore.

smc112 06-18-2008 05:42 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by PrettyBoy (Post 1669650)

When it comes to relationships, I think a lot of times people too often become consumed with the emotion of "romance", and very quickly after marriage, we find that the romance evaporates to reveal two very flawed jokers in a difficult world

I think what happens from the beginning in these relationships today, is people are quick to fall into romance, and then later, quick to bail out of commitment.

You have to ask yourself, is the man (I'm assuming you're a woman.:D) to whom you are attracted quick to give to others, or quick to go the 2nd mile in serving others? Or does this joker seem to live only for himself, withdraw the needs of others, or pretty much seek to satisfy himself only? A selfish, "do for me and don't ask me to do for you" joker is not someone you'll be happy with long term.

I hope you find the right man, if you haven't already.:)
In your first comment, that is exactly what happens when people are "lusting" after each other. When the spirit of lust leaves, people then start to realize that they don't have anything in common with the other individual. That is why I feel people should at least date two years before they marry. That way people will know if it is lust or actually love. Two years is a long enough time to see all sides of an individual. You also mentioned that a woman should seek after a man who has a servant's heart. It is funny that you mentioned that, because I dated a guy who was selfish and not a giver (or you could say cheap!) Two bad combinations! I didn't talk to him no longer than a couple of weeks. That really irritated me. Yeah, I would run for the hills if I sensed that a guy was selfish and cheap. Even Proverbs mentions not to eat the food of a cheap man because he is always thinking about the cost. LOL Anyway, a selfish person always takes and doesn't deposit anything back. You are right. I wasn't happy with that guy who was selfish, and I know from now on to watch those signs in men.

Little32 06-18-2008 05:42 PM
love is...knowing that love is not a slore.
You know you're the slore. That's why love won't eff with you.

DSTCHAOS 06-18-2008 05:43 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by starang21 (Post 1670012)
love is a slore.
"love" is a highway and i wanna riiiiiide it, all night long

starang21 06-18-2008 05:53 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Little32 (Post 1670019)
love is...knowing that love is not a slore.
You know you're the slore. That's why love won't eff with you.
http://pic20.picturetrail.com/VOL250.../136190975.jpg

DSTCHAOS 06-18-2008 06:02 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by starang21 (Post 1670023)
go away

PrettyBoy 06-18-2008 07:39 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by smc112 (Post 1670018)
In your first comment, that is exactly what happens when people are "lusting" after each other. When the spirit of lust leaves, people then start to realize that they don't have anything in common with the other individual. That is why I feel people should at least date two years before they marry. That way people will know if it is lust or actually love. Two years is a long enough time to see all sides of an individual. You also mentioned that a woman should seek after a man who has a servant's heart. It is funny that you mentioned that, because I dated a guy who was selfish and not a giver (or you could say cheap!) Two bad combinations! I didn't talk to him no longer than a couple of weeks. That really irritated me. Yeah, I would run for the hills if I sensed that a guy was selfish and cheap. Even Proverbs mentions not to eat the food of a cheap man because he is always thinking about the cost. LOL Anyway, a selfish person always takes and doesn't deposit anything back. You are right. I wasn't happy with that guy who was selfish, and I know from now on to watch those signs in men.
LOL at the cheap joker you were talking about. I'll have to read that one in Proverbs. That's hilarious but true.

I agree with what you said about the lust thing. To me, lust is like a fire. If you want to start a lasting fire, you're going to need some kindling, lighter fluid and firewood. If you have only the kindling and lighter fluid, which is like physical attraction and flat out sex, you'll be able to produce a big blaze of fire. The problem is, it may be warm and feel good temporarily, but the fire will go out in a matter of seconds or minutes. Just like it does when jokers start sleeping around.

I mentioned this in another thread. There's intensity and intimacy. People seem to get them confused. They're different. Intensity starts to fade away as the newness of the relationship wears off, but intimacy continues to grow more and more the longer you know a person. Like you said, intimacy is seeing what's truly on the inside of a person, which like you said, can only be discovered face to face over long periods of time.

To build a really good fire, you need some serious firewood to place on top of the kindling and lighter fluid. Do that, and it will burn for a long time. IMO, that's how a strong relationship should be. Long term.:)

Also, when you get a chance, check out Matthew 7:12. That's a good one.:)

Happy dating.:D

smc112 06-19-2008 07:49 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by PrettyBoy (Post 1670084)
Also, when you get a chance, check out Matthew 7:12. That's a good one.:)

Happy dating.:D
Actually, the verse 11 was confirmation for me today. Thanks for the advice and Happy Dating to you also! Or are you married? :)

PrettyBoy 06-20-2008 02:31 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by smc112 (Post 1670499)
Actually, the verse 11 was confirmation for me today. Thanks for the advice and Happy Dating to you also! Or are you married? :)
I'm glad it helped.:)

LOL :D
Nope, I'm not married.

Professor 06-20-2008 08:03 AM
i was a young whore once and have enjoyed many of same females as lb and friends. you do some dumb crazy stuff in life but you live, you learn, and you grow. now, i'm old and just like i would hear old folk say, "you eventually come in." my point is one should enjoy life but always be safe regardless if you are in a committed relationship or sleeping with every xyz on the yard.

Quote:
Originally Posted by PrettySqueaky (Post 31308)
This is the worst pick-up line I heard of the year 2000.

I was at a club when I met this guy. Come to find out we know the same people. Get this he was my bestfriend's Line Brother. I didn't want to come out and say I'm seeing your LB on the DL(down low.) So I said we were real good friends. So his reply: "Ya know LB's share everything." I was like "Ummmmmkay I'll make sure I tell him that tonight." Thinking that comment was lewd enough. He said something alone the lines, "Well it'll be your word against mine. So you might as well let me cut. And if he already hit, like I said LB's share everything." (replace hit and cut with F!@*.)


Second story. We were at this Step Show. Before I had a baby I was like 105-110 after I had him I was like 130. I was talking to this guy and he was like blah blah...kicking a little game. So I whispered to him don't you know me...I'm blah blah friend. He said oh well he's over here. And I was like, "Hi you doing?" gave him hug and what not. And his boy was just going on and on. And I was like "you're cute and all, but you don't remember me?" He's like "nah." Now blah blah getting hot. Like I know she ain't flirting were my bruh!!! I was like "oh I'm the mother of your Godson." His response, "Oh shyt 'bout time you started eating."

Just wanted to post something kind of funny. Question have ya'll ran into any situations with LB's concerning girls? Or do you have a set rule? I mean do LB's really share everything? What do you feel about frat-hoes?

This is off-key but related. I have a child by an Alpha and I told him out of respect for him I wouldn't date another one (that's going to be hard to do. Hello, are you an Alpha? just kidding.) He doesn't really have a comment on that, but he thinks it's strange and besides he knows I'm not trying to date anyone else right now.
But it's like I know of too many Alpha hoes and I don't want to be classified as one.

(My bestfriend thinks it's b-s and I shouldn't classify people based on that. I say b-s because he's an Alpha. And he knows I adore him to death, but he's still an Alpha.)

sigmadiva 06-20-2008 02:17 PM
Thanks Starang21, now I can never again walk into a Hallmark store with a straight face. :p

1 BX Spring 87 06-20-2008 03:20 PM
Forget the fellas, the ladies are just as bad. My ex-wife (we were college sweethearts the whole 9..I gave her the money to pledge AKA) has this line sister. Even after we were married she was still trying to throw some my way. She provide examples and "attempted" to offer samples of what she believed to be her far superior skills. I know the fellas look bad on this point and get caught more often, but the ladies do it in such a way that you feel bad if you tell. Even at 40, I still don't want it to be public knowledge of my turning down (even though I did), as she liked to call it, "the best thing since they came up with 20 pearls." NO JOKE!

DSTCHAOS 06-20-2008 03:21 PM
Huh?

smc112 06-20-2008 03:46 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by 1 BX Spring 87 (Post 1670806)
Forget the fellas, the ladies are just as bad. My ex-wife (we were college sweethearts the whole 9..I gave her the money to pledge AKA) has this line sister. Even after we were married she was still trying to throw some my way. She provide examples and "attempted" to offer samples of what she believed to be her far superior skills. I know the fellas look bad on this point and get caught more often, but the ladies do it in such a way that you feel bad if you tell. Even at 40, I still don't want it to be public knowledge of my turning down (even though I did), as she liked to call it, "the best thing since they came up with 20 pearls." NO JOKE!
I guess this is your example of women of a sorority "sharing" everything? (As someone stated in a earlier post) The difference with men and women is that women aren't in agreement with sharing their men. I'm sure if your ex-wife found out that one of her line sister's tried to approach you in a sexual manner, she would be ready to jump on her line sister. Women are different when it comes to that type of stuff. I don't think sorority members "share" their men, like the fraternities members don't have a problem doing.


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