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Melissa,
I just want to wish you good luck with the rest of recruitment. I love hearing your story. I check all the time to see how your week is going. I of course do not have a favorite ;) Good luck with all the houses and keep us updated!!! PSLAM, PhiSigButterfly |
Melissa,
I am sorry to hear that ADPi didn't work out but most of the time things work out for the best during rush. Enjoy the rest of rush and keep and open mind. A lot can happen in the next few days. Keep us posted! Melissa |
I'm so excited that you still have five GREAT houses (especially one hehehe - how's that aggie___? I think we are all SHAMELESS, but supportive no matter what!). Sounds like you are doing great, continue to keep an open mind, and I hope you will find a wonderful new home at the end of the week!
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Re: good news and bad news...
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Keep your spirits up the way you seem to be. You will find the house that is actually the "perfect" one for you. (My shameless plug - Phi Sigma Sigma). I'll bet that once you find out what house you go to you'll wonder why you thought ADPi was the best in the first place (although the ADPi sisters could tell you why). Looking forward to hearing more about rush for you. Carolyn |
Everyone else has been giving you great words of advice and support, and I just want to back them up. When I went through rush, I got cut by my "favorite" after the first night (also ADPi, coincidentally). However, I stuck it out through rush because there were other groups I was interested in. By Pref Night, I was so completely in love with Phi Mu that I had no idea what ever made me like ADPi in the first place! (although I'm sure they are lovely girls ;) )The recruitment process is a week of up-and-down emotions, and I'm certain that you'll end up in the perfect place for you.
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Melissa--
You've still got a bunch of great sororities to choose from, and like someone else said, things happen for a reason. You seem to have a GREAT outlook on this, and I'm sure you're a great girl, no matter what happens through recruitment!! Best of luck to you :) I'll give Phi Sig a shameless plug, since they're on my campus too, and I have a lot of friends in Phi Sig! :) Heather |
Okay, I can be totally unbiased...
...since there is not a chapter of my sorority on URI campus -- although I WAS born in Rhode Island -- I can say that all of the houses you are going back to have wonderful national organizations...you just need to listen to your heart about where you feel the best -- the most comfortable -- don't let any reputations or rumors get in the way!
Good luck and I for one cannot wait to hear more!!!! |
I just got back from the first parties of round 2! Tonight was skit night, and I went to 2 houses--house 6 and house 4. I'd really liked both of them from what I saw during round 1, and I was really excited to see them again. The only bad thing--it's been raining all night!! Definitely not the best conditions to be walking from house to house in, but my umbrella and I made do. :)
The first house I went to was house #6. I decided tonight that I absolutely love this house! I'm REALLY trying not to get my hopes up for it because it's supposed to be one of the hardest houses to get into, but I had a really great time here. I'm just happy they liked me enough to invite me to this round. Anyways, when I went in I was greeted by one sister, she made sure of my name and then she walked me up to a sister with a video camera and said "Sisters of [ABC], I present to you Melissa S--------." I wasn't really sure what to do with myself, so I probably just had the biggest, cheesiest smile on my face for that! All the sisters had really adorable shirts on, but I can't say what they said because it will give away the sorority. All I'll say is that it looked like a designer logo, but it went with the sorority name. Anyways, then we went into the chapter room, which was decorated with lots of balloons, and we all got chocolate covered strawberries (yum!) and juice. There were chairs set up, and I sat and talked with the woman who walked me in and another sister. They were so sweet and easy to talk to! Conversation never slowed, which was good. After a few minutes we watched the skit. It was a riot...just hilarious! It was a spoof of a talk show, which they called "The Tomorrow Show." 2 of the sisters played the hosts, and they were really good. They talked with these really exaggerated New York accents and were dressed up in these really crazy outfits. The topic of the show was finding the perfect sorority, and they interviewed several VERY different characters (a party girl who acted really wild, a girl who kept getting up and doing aerobics, a "nerdy" girl who came in loaded down with books and with toilet paper hanging out of her skirt, and some others) to talk about what the perfect sorority would be for them, and of course at the end of the show they decided that the perfect sorority was [ABC]. The skit took up most of the party, but I got a chance to talk to the sisters again a little bit after. Both of them were just so sweet! When it was time to go, the one who met me at the door gave me a huge hug...I was a little surprised but I guess she is just really friendly! Which is always a good thing. I really, really, REALLY hope I get invited to pref here. I wasn't sure I could see myself in this house before (mostly because of Jane, who I didn't see tonight). But it seems like most of the girls here are just really fun, outgoing, funny, and sweet. After that I went to house #4. The girls who weren't in the skit were all wearing black dresses, which I thought was a little fancy for round 2 but still nice. The kitchen was all decorated with black and gold balloons (again, not the sorority colors) and stars hanging from the ceiling. They served us cheesecake (my greatest weakness ;) ), Hershey's kisses, and Shirley Temples. I didn't really have that much to talk about with the first sister I talked to, but I had pretty good (not amazing) conversations with the rest of them. Their skit was really cute, too. It was based on TRL, and they had a top 5 countdown. For the first 3 they just danced around, then for another a girl sang...she had an AMAZING voice. Then for the "#1" video it was a spinoff of N Sync's "Dirty Pop" only it was "----- Pop" and had words about the sorority. They also did a really cute dance to it. Overall I liked this house. Not QUITE as much as I did the other day, but I would still be happy to pref here. They seem like really nice, down to earth girls. Tomorrow night I see the other 3 houses...I go to #2, then #3, then #7. Saturday morning I find out who invited me back, then that night I go to prefs. I can't believe that in just 3 days I'll be in a sorority!!! Well, hopefully. :) |
You did a great job of describing the parties, and I'm glad you had a wonderful time at #6! Hopefully, tomorrow will go as well, and you'll start getting a feel for where you really want to be! Good luck, and I can't wait "for the rest of the story!"
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I'm glad you had a great time and I hope you continue to have a wonderful experience! I can't wait to hear the rest...but I'll have to since I'm going away this weekend!
Good Luck and Just have FUN! |
Melissa,
What a fabulous post, it sounds like the sororities are really putting on a spectacular rush! Best of luck. I have all my fingers and toes crossed that you end up right where you should be. violets Go URI! Go Greek! |
Well, round 2 is over! I just saw 3 houses...#2, #3, and #7.
2-Still love this house!! They gave us popcorn and soda when we went in, and they had a skit based on SNL. It was hilarious! They had a bunch of different characters from the show acting like they were coming in to see the sorority during rush. There was Mary Katherine Gallagher, the night at the Roxbury guys, and the Spartans (cheerleaders). They also had a girl dress as Britney Spears and do a dance, and then 3 girls did a medley of old Madonna songs, but the words were all changed around to be about the sorority. The skit was really long so there wasn't that much time to talk to the sisters, but the ones I did talk to were very sweet. I got a really good feeling at this house. This and house 6 are tied for my favorites right now. I hope I get to go back for prefs!! 3-My rusher this round also rushed me for round 1, and we got along really well so it was cool. They had the best snacks here--mini candy bars and chocolate covered popcorn. They really went all out on the decorations, too. There were little white lights everywhere, and it was decorated like a movie theater. We got to talk to the sisters for a little bit, and the other girl who rushed me before was sitting behind me, so I was talking to the same 2 girls again. We had good conversations and I was comfortable, but I kind of wish I could have talked to some other sisters to get a better feel for what they're all like. The skit was adorable...it was based on movies. One group of girls dressed up and sang songs from Grease, with the words changed to fit the sorority. Then there was "the grinch who stole rush" and "[XYZ] Rouge," where they sang Lady Marmalade with the words switched around. I really like this house a lot, but if it came down to it I think I'd have a REALLY hard time deciding between this one and house 4 for prefs. I like both equally. 7-Well...I think I like this house even less than I did before. I didn't want to go back but I did just to see if I liked it any more. The skit was based on Clue, and one of the sisters had been "kidnapped" and we had to go around the house questioning people to find her. Then we each had to say who we thought the kidnapper was, and at the end the "kidnapped" girl came out and told us who had done it. I didn't think the skit did anything to tell me about the sorority or what the girls are like. After the skit I talked to a sister I hadn't met before, and the conversation didn't go too well. The first thing she said to me was "So...what do you like?" and that was probably the only question she asked me. The rest of it was either me asking questions and getting unenthusiastic answers, or silence. I asked about how many girls lived in the house, and there are only 20, so I said "so there must be a lot of sisters living off campus" and my rusher just said something along the lines of "Yeah, um, I guess there are some." So 1) she seemed really uninterested and like she didn't know very much about her sisters and 2) the sorority must be really small, which I have to admit turns me off. I am really not interested in this house at all and will not be preffing here. I pick up my invites tomorrow any time from 8-10 am. I'm sure I'll be there bright and early even if I go out tonight because I'll probably be too nervous to sleep!! Wish me luck...I'll be hoping and praying for houses 2 and 6!!! |
Good Luck Melissa!! :D
Hope you get both of your choices!! |
ACK! Im away this weekend for marching band - I want to know what happens!
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*sigh*
I was cut by 2, 6, and 4.
Not like I'm surprised. I should have known this would happen, and I should never have rushed. I guess those girls were right, me in a sorority? It's a joke. So I'm going back to 3 and 7 tonight. I would have only gone to 3, but the RC's said that I had to go back to both. I'll see what happens tonight with 3, but I will probably just end up dropping out. It's either that or suicide house 3, and we all know they call it "suicide" for a reason. I don't want to get my hopes up only to get rejected once again. |
Oh Melissa.....::sigh::.....DON'T GIVE UP!!! Even if you don't feel like it now, I'm glad you gave the greek system a second chance. House #3 is a really good sorority(you were right about one thing-I figured out who all of your houses were;) ). House #3 has some fun, down-to-earth girls in it, including a close friend of mine-I'll bet you would have a wonderful experience as a sister there! If for some reason you decide it isn't the right house for you,I'm sure there will be COBing on Sunday,and Informal Recruitment will start next week.
You can't be anyone but yourself, Melissa.....anyone organization who can't accept you for who you are isn't worth your time or your tears. Don't get depressed. Go get dressed up and enjoy Formal Round tonight. This is supposed to be fun, above anything else! Good luck-I can't wait to hear how everything turns out!:D |
I'm so sorry to hear you were cut by your favorites. :(
Enjoy your pref parties tonight. If you really don't like house 7, do think about suiciding house 3... you might get a bid, whereas if you don't sign your pref card, you definitely won't get a bid, and if you list both 3 and 7, you might get 7 and be bound to them for a year. If you suicide 3 and don't get a bid, you'll still be eligible for COB. Good luck :) |
Hey keep that head held high. Dont give up! We're rooting for ya!!
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Melissa --
Dont give up hope!! So many of my friends here (and me too!) had a similar situation going through rush as sophomores. So many girls only pref two or even ONE house. Cuts for third round can be brutal, especially as an upperclassman. It's a tough time, but stick it out!! House 3 WOULDN'T have asked you back for pref if they couldn't see you as a sister. And you never know, maybe you've just been talking to the wrong people in house 7?? Your pref experience might make all the difference. Good luck!! Just keep an open mind and be yourself. We're all pulling for you, and I'll be keeping my fingers crossed! |
Melissa - Check with your Rho Chi. I've heard of other campuses allowing pnm's to put houses on their bid sheets whose pref they didn't attend. And if you don't go with house #3, seriously consider COB. Put yourself in the active sisters' position: you have 15-20 minutes total to decide whether or not you want to get to know someone as your sister. Maybe if you're seen as yourself, and not as "part of the herd" you will feel better about the whole rush experience.
One way or the other, I wish you much success, and I hope you do decide to go Greek! |
I just couldn't do COB. I've already rushed before and I would look so pathetic if I rushed AGAIN when clearly none of these girls like me.
I don't even think I want to go tonight. My heart isn't in this at all anymore. I might as well just return my new dress and move on with my life. It's just not fair. I was so excited for this and all my hopes were shattered. I just don't know what's so horrible about me that makes none of these sororities want me. |
Melissa, IT IS NOT PATHETIC. It is just (unfortunately) the way the system works. Every year there are a lot of great girls with absolutely nothing wrong with them that end up on the COB list. If you decide not to go with house #3 (and I still think you should give them serious consideration-they are a great house), I would bet that you will get COB offers from several houses who like you but had to release you at some point for one reason or another.
THERE IS NOTHING WRONG WITH YOU. The system just sucks sometimes. Give it this last try--I hope you end up in the right house! Good luck, and try and have fun tonight......... |
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Aww, sweetie! At least go to house 3! You were so excited, and you really did like them in the past rounds. Don't let other disappointments keep you from liking thos girls. Good luck, Michelle |
You sound like an absolutely WONDERFUL woman. Myy roommate got cut from all the chapters on our campus. She's beautiful, has a 3.8, dresses beautifully, and is very sweet, outgoing, and funny. You just never know. Best of luck, and I hope you find a home or at least some great friends you pick up from this experience! I'm crossing my fingers for you.
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KellyO97- I sent you a PM.
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I want to grab hold of you and shake you!!!(edited-but first I'd HUG you!) Don't EVER feel that way about yourself! I know how excited you were and I can usually tell the ending before the thread reveals anything. I honestly believed things were going 100% your way.
Don't let those words you read on some little twit's computer screen damage your self image.:mad: I know girls, WONDERFUL girls, who didn't even get past round one! Homecoming Queens-Danceline Captains-4.0s. They are doing just fine. They would NEVER question their self worth. Don't you question YOUR'S either!You NEVER would have come this far if what you are THINKING about yorself was true!!! I agree with what people are suggesting. Go to pref- KEEP THE DRESS, EVERY GIRL NEEDS A COCKTAIL DRESS!!! On another thread they said LOOK AT THE GIRLS AROUND YOU-the ones that would be in your class. Use that to help in your decision. Put a smile on, hold your head high and see what happens. If you don't see it through, you may be making a premature decision. Good luck to you! You KNOW we are pulling for you. PS-that little snot will get hers one day-you can count on it! I am sorry I got so angry... |
Melissa, don't give up! My rush was a lot similar to yours -- getting cut by some of my favorites after round one, getting cut by more favorites after round two -- I only really liked one of the houses I preffed at. But I did end up in that house, and I love it there! The fact that this group invited you back to pref means a lot, it means that they can really see you in their sisterhood. I know so many wonderful girls who hated all the houses they preffed at! So just walk in there and wow them tonight -- I know you'll do fine.
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ohhh sweetie- trust me babe when I say i know how you feel... this was my 3rd time rushing (oh yeah) and again similar things happened... i was cut by many houses i thought i liked and was really only invited back to one house i liked for pref... but i decided to go and give it a chance, and actually had fun at the house that wasn't really my favorite... so this year, i didn't suicide- i figured i would go where i was meant to go and give it a chance- luckily i ended up in my fav. house and am so happy now- please, just give pref a chance- you may be surprised at the house you're not too fond of... also, if you don't end up joining a house- there are so many other things you could get involved in, and so many things to be happy about w/ yourself- you really are an awesome girl, and i agree w/ others when they say it's their loss if they can't see that... good luck babe and I'm so proud of you and all your strength!
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here's my story:
i was cut from every house except for one. before rush (we have winter rush here at W&L), i'd had many people (mainly guys) tell me nasty things about the house. well, guess what? i was disappointed, but decided not to drop out of rush, and accept my bid. i'd still had fun there at rush, even if the rumors about them didn't seem to be things i wanted to associate with. and i loved it! at the same fraternity chapter where i dated a guy who told me "we don't date that house because they're too academic" (??? don't ask me why i dated THAT guy), i counted more women from my sorority there at their formal than from any other chapter! if you have had fun there, don't let the rejection from other houses get you down! i didn't, and i would probably go insane without my wonderful, wonderful sisters! |
Melissa
Be bold and take a chance. Go to those parties and have a good time. Don't worry if they want you----make them worry that you'll want them! You went thru this process for a reason. Think about how much you wanted to look at the Greek systen and possibly become a part of it. Keep an open mind and heart and if it's suppose to be the right thing for you, it'll happen. As it was said eariier, if you don't go, you shut yourself off from the opportunity to find out. You're not suppeosed to end up in all those groups----just one!----and it may be the one you go visit tonight! Be Bold and Shine Bright! |
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NEVER, EVER give someone else the power to change YOUR self-image!!! You will come through this a stronger and most lovable woman, IF YOU ALLOW YOURSELF!!!! Wear that dress & knock 'em dead! fyi - I can remember seeing a pnm that wasn't on our pref list on her way to the other houses, and I thought, "We must have been on drugs to lose her..." Buck up! |
Well, I went to house 3. I have an hour before I'm supposed to go to house 7, but I've decided not to go.
When I went to house 3 before, I had the same 2 girls rush me both times, and I really liked them. Tonight it was 2 different girls and...I just don't know. I didn't like it this time, and I don't know if it's because I'm still so upset about getting cut from the other houses or what. But one of the girls started telling me this really long, really personal story about one of her friends, and that just made me feel really uncomfortable. I really don't think I can be in this house. So when it's time to fill out the pref cards, I will be dropping out of rush. At least if I drop out, I'll be eligible for an open bid. I'm not sure but if I suicide house 3 I'm pretty sure I won't be able to get an open bid anywhere. And I would rather not put down a house I can't see myself in. It's just such a huge decision, and I wanted to be in a sorority more than anything but I just can't commit myself to a house if my heart isn't in it. I just really don't know what to do with myself now at all. I mean, ever since I came to this school I've been counting on being in a sorority. It's not easy to have a social life on this campus if you're not greek. Even when things didn't work out last year I had every confidence that I'd rush this year and get into a good house and be happy. I should have realized that if I wasn't good enough then I'm not good enough now either. I thought it must have been the way I dressed or the way I acted that got me cut last year because I was clueless, but this time I knew every rush tip in the book, spent hundreds of dollars on outfits to wear, asked all the right questions, and had what I thought were great conversations. I did EVERYTHING I was supposed to do, so that can only mean that since there wasn't anything wrong with what I said or wore, there has to be something wrong with ME. This was my last chance to rush. It's all over for me now, and I put myself through all this emotional bull**** for NOTHING. |
No!! There is absolutely nothing wrong with you Melissa! I am sure you are a wonderful, beautiful girl with a great heart. I know I am only echoing what everyone else said, but you cannot base how you feel about yourself on what happens during rush! I really want to encourage you put house three down.
The long personal story may have caught you off guard, but during prefs that is really what you are supposed to do. I am like you in that it would make me feel uncomfortable too. But the girl was probably rushing like she was told too. You can't really get a good idea of what sorority life is from rush. Rush is this big huge production, but when it is all over you get to have fun and no one is putting on a show any more. So basically I am saying not to drop house three because of a bad night when you said previously that you had liked them before prefs. I know it is up to you, but I just feel so horrible for you! I COBed, and I wasn't sure if sigma kappa was the house for me, i didn't really feel like i connected with them at first. But then I realized that if you give it a chance, it will become what you make of it. Please reconsider Melissa!!! And more than anything else, PLEASE dont' think you are poorly of yourself!!! We all are pulling for you and hope that whatever happens makes you happy!! |
sign the card...
i know you are sad. i know you are hurt. sign the bid card and see if you can't get a snap bid out of the deal.
otherwise, i ditto everyone else. you are smart, strong and talented. DO NOT let this bite you. i know it's awful right now, but it will get better. there is nothing wrong with you. don't even allow that to stay. keep in touch. lots of love :rolleyes: |
Melissa - decide to go into COB whole-heartedly, or sign the card tonight! If your heart isn't in it during COB, you'll end up wasting your time. I'm sure you've met a lot of nice women this past week, and surely there are more that are worth getting to know better.
Remember that you are responsible for your own self esteem, so hold your head up high and *WOW* them all!! Best of luck, sweet Melissa! honeychile |
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I know rush must be over by now, but I hope everything turned out for the best. |
Whatever you decide (and by this time you already have) please rea;ise that formal recruitment is no way to gauge what Greek Life can be. I wish you had gone to your second pref party. Sometimes all it takes is one special time for everything to "click." You might not think so, but think about how you've let an individual sad or hurtful one influence you-----try to allow yourself to have good ones.
Melissa, you are a valuable person in your own right. Good luck in your decisions. |
I've Been There
I know very well how you feel in one aspect. I went thru informal twice before getting a bid. The way I approached it the last time I did it was to say to myself "You know what? FUCK ACTING LIKE I THINK THEY WANT ME TO ACT!" Lord, did I feel so much better! I was a total laugh riot, and that's what got me a bid! I got noticed for what I brought and who I was, not by being a stiff ass!
I laughed the whole time and made them laugh too! People remember those who don't try to echo everything that is already part of the chapter. I remember every woman in my chapter because she made an impact on me during recruitment. During one recruitment event, we sat around in a circle, introducing ourselves. One of the women (who is no one of my FAVE sisters) was sitting there, with a pleasant grin on her face. She's really petite, like 4'9". So, she didn't stick out at first. I actually didn't notice her at first. So, we get to her and she introduces herself, and she mentions that she reads Shakespeare. Well, no offense, but my school was an intellectual graveyard! So, we are all impressed. Someone asked her what her favorite piece was and, instead of just telling us, she stood and recited a beautiful piece. Well, she had a bid as far as we were all concerned. She showed brains, confidence, poise, and THAT'S WHAT GETS YOU A BID IN THE RIGHT CHAPTER!!!!!! These are my words of wisdom for the day: BE YOURSELF! |
Hi Melissa! My heart really goes out to you. I wanted to let you know, that even though you may be down on yourself right now you really have to realize what a corageous person you are!! You have tried for something that you really wanted, and no matter how it turns out you have to be proud of yourself for that. There are women out there (ME) who never went through recruitment with NPC sororities out of a fear of rejection, not thinking she is good enough, etc. And here you are thinking about trying for COB!
There is absolutely nothing wrong with you, you are a much stronger woman than you give yourself credit for. I am so sorry that things have turned out the way they have right now, but don't think poorly of youself because of it. You have a lot of reasons to think highly of yourself!! And there are a lot of people here on GC who think well of you, too! |
Melissa,
Please don't put yourself down!! You are a great person and precious to your friends and family. Do not let the recruitment process get you down --- as said even terrific outstanding women get cut, reasons unknown -- it's just the way the mutual selection process turns out sometimes. I'm so sorry the way things have turned out for you but please do not blame yourself. If Greek life is really what you want, then give COB another chance. And I hope, in a couple weeks after this has simmered down a bit, you will come back to this thread and reread all the uplifting encouraging remarks that have been written to you and that you will remember how loved and cared for you are. Thank you for sharing! Jen |
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