Re: Call me a Heathen....
 

Let's not discriminate now...it ain't just the white pols that do it, the black ones do it as well.


Something funny did happen at my church one time regarding political visitors. Current Congresswoman and senatorial candidate Denise Majette came to visit the church and my Pastor recognized her and mentioned that most politicians would have left by this time and he was glad to see that she really came to hear the word. A reporter traveling with her wrote in an article that an aid almost had a fit because they had indeed planned to make a hasty exit, and his pronouncement spoiled that. They ended up staying for the entire service. LOL

I've heard of some churches where women wearing dresses aren't allowed to sit to close to the front. If they do, they have to place drapes over their laps.A friend of mine that attends such a church said the rationale is that it would be a distraction(for a women in a skirt to sit in front) to the ministers and deacons who should be focused on the work of God. Has anyone else heard of this?

The discussion about the length of service is really interesting. I've always considered going to church at 10:45 or 1:00 and getting out around 1:15 to be early. When I got to college and started singing in a school gospel choir, I got used to spending anywhere between 4-6 hours in church. I would go to service in the morning, and then we'd visit churches to sing in the evening which lasted for hours!

The thing that ticks me off the most is teenagers that hold full conversations in loud voices. I think it ticks me off even more when nobody says anything (especially when their parent's are sitting right there!) Thats when I have to bring out my other personality and start acting like somebody's mother!

I also have issues with church members who try to control everything in the church. We were having an event recently, and a committee member called to ask church members to bring certain items. However, she took it one step too far and tried to tell folks what brand to buy and what store they needed to get it from!

Pet peeves
 

Ok, I had to respond because my Grandfather is a Pastor of a church in Cleveland, and I was one of those people who was in church everyday of the week and all day on Sunday. However, I do have some pet peeves when it comes to church, which is why I am very skeptical of churches. Trust me just because you go to church dont mean a darn thing. But moving on...

1. Church Cliches- (He woke me up this morning and what? (if you can finish this sentence then you know what i mean.)

2. What is a Nurses' Guild?? Can anyone please explain that to me?? None of those women have ever been to school to be a nurse. They are not license to give out any real medicine. All they do is sit in white and fan people when they get happy. Please Im beggin somebody explain what the purpose of this is or what does this mean or something, cause i dont get it???
:confused:
3. I hate a church that has a different day for each sunday. (i.e deacons day, men's day, women's day, usher day. choir day....u get the point.) First of all everyday should be about GOD especially on Sunday. This is just another excuse to have a long boring evening service and demand a love offering. :mad:

4. This is a Cleveland thing..but having literally 13 churches on one block is ridiculous. Some fairly big, but mostly all are storefront and very small churches. My suggestion: All of those little churches combine and make one big church. But thats too much like right. :rolleyes:

That's it for now but I'm sure more will come. Oh yeah and if you were out at the club Sat night, please wash the club stamp off your hands before you come to church. THANK YOU!

Also if you choose to speak in tongues please make sure that it is anointed because i heard a lady once say, and i kid you not "OsamaBinLadenAintshit" over and over again. NO LIE!:eek:

Re: Pet peeves
 

Are you serious? My church nurses' are actually nurses.

Definitely is the church I went to growing up, and that the majority of my family still attends. Yes it is a sin, but the one who "got herself in that situation" just got caught. What about all the other hot ones who are lucky they aren't pregnant yet. And anyway, I know they say confession is good for the soul, but it doesn't mean the whole congregation. That's between the person and the Lord. People just want to be nosey! I'm not a member of a church right now, but if I were looking for a church that would be something I could not tolerate.

Re: Re: Pet peeves
 

My current church's nurses are either nurses or have received training in first aid, CPR, etc., but I know what O2bame is talking about. At my Grandmother's church the "nurses" were the ones to take your glasses when you were shouting, put smelling salts under your nose if you fell out and give you those old peppermints LBF was talking about if you started coughing!

Oh I hate when churches do that crap. I remember when that happened to this girl I know.

When I was pregnant with my daughter, I was waiting for somebody to come to me with that mess. That would've been my last day at my church. :mad:

I was getting ready to say the finger. One of my professors told us where it came from. It's amazing what we still do today.

Where did it come from?

i'd love to know myself. please share the wealth of info.

shelley j
sigma k

One of my professors in grad school told us about that, also. Since he allowed us to "be excused" if we needed to while he was talking, we all started raising our finger when we left the room. He got so tickled at us and said "You know, I'm sorry I ever told you about that!" He's a great man - and an Alpha as well!

Re: Re: Re: Pet peeves
 

Wow..I've never even HEARD of a church nurse...is this a traditional thing?? And the only reason I know about "the finger" is because that's been done at churches I've visited..pretty interesting stuff...

THis thread is funny!:p

A lot of the residents where I work are nurses and some are in a citywide nurses league. What intrigued me was the fact that they do a stroll every Sunday when they come in. I saw it for the first time when I went to one of their funerals and it was like 80 of them doing a stroll through the church. I was totally shocked.

Did you see the movie Funny Valentines with Alfrie Woodard (sp?) and Loretta Devine? The ushers in this movie did the same thing! They even had a contest of several churches! I was cracking up because I had never seen such a thing. The ushers at my church have to go to "usher school" to learn all of the hand signs. They have levels of certification and everything I think . I thought that was funny!

I was raised Baptist and hated the loooooong church services. Just last year, I started (and joined) a Church of Christ. I love the feeling I get when I am there. I try to wear something nice for Sunday morning service (pants or not, doesn't matter) and usually dress down (nice jeans) for Sunday evening service and bible study.

There is a decon's wife and another lady who try to outsing the song leader every time. The one lady is VERY loud, VERY opera-ish and VERY off key.. lol

Oh Wow.
 

I guess I'm really in the minority on this one. I'm actually very fond of the church I attend, I've been a member there since 1991.

I attend a non-denominational church that follows teaching & preaching of Evangelicalism. I have to say that I wear pants quite often to church. Actually, I probably wear them every week. I did not start off wearing pants to church, but about a year ago, I started attending 7:30am service. The first time I went in my cute little skirt & pantyhose, I liked to froze my patooty off. It's just too cold during early morning Chicago autumns, winters, and springs. I mean I don't know what time the maintenance men arrive, but the heat hasn't quite kicked up all the way yet, and it's cold. Being too cold distracts me, and I feel like I don't pay as close attention to the sermon.
As we move into summer, I will see how things work out, and if they can get the temperature in sanctuary above 68°, I'll go back to wearing skirts & dresses.

As far as the length of service, inappropiate dress, hollering babies, gossip, "fake" shouting, and such, I try to count it all joy. Some people don't have an awesome church like mine, a youth ministry like mine, a nice building like mine, a large parking lot like mine, and caring community like mine; an annoited & spirit filled man of God dedicated to worshipping the Lord in spirit and in truth like mine.

Also, I try to remind myself that though the people AT the church might be the ones annoying me, my actual battle is not with flesh & blood, but with principalities (spirits of evil). Maybe instead of quietly seething about the youth wearing club clothes, we can quietly pray that the Lord cast out the spirits of rebellion, disenchanment, or willful disobedience from our youth.

I'm not being as eloquent as I would like to be. I'm trying to say that we as lovers of Christ should try not to hold others up to our measuring stick, and tear them down if they are not where WE think they should be. Sometimes people are being used as instruments from the enemy, and they don't even realize it. Sometimes, the enemy sends Li'l sista Shaniqua down the aisle in ghetto gear just so you miss the word that was specifically sent for you. Sometimes the pastor preaches 45 minutes to long, so that your mind wanders, right when God had a word for you. Be mindful of tricks. The enemy is the creator of distractions.

Watching these crazy church videos reminded me of this thread...

I agree that some churches are too youth oriented. When I was a child we sang in the choir to keep ourselves entertained in church. The church resembled a church, not a dancefloor! We also did not have a youth center.

Now, at my newer church they just built a youth center that looks like the REAL WORLD house! The only things missing is a jacquzzi and a basket of condoms. :p It is three stories! The first floor has a stage and a coffee bar. The basement has leather chairs, flat screens, playstations/xbox, and a snack bar. It looks like a dayum bachelor pad down there. The second floor has carpeted meeting rooms for each grade and gender (6-9 grade boys and girls). How is all this supposed to get them closer to God? It will definately attract more kids, but will it be for the right reasons?

Some more pet peeves:
-People who won't make their loud kids shut up
-In order to become a member of a church you have to be saved.
-Pastors who always preach about money issues.
-Aggressive drivers on the parking lot.

Allowing anyone who says they had a "vision" to preach, actually stand in the pulpit and do a sermon. (Especially when the "preacher" is 7 years old)

Hheheheheeheh:D

Ah yes..
 

1. People who's bad azz kids make more noise than the pastor AND the choir together. Can you cart them outside please and calm them down. thanks.
2. In my church we have ropes that the ushers put across the aisle while the sermon is going on. Now some folks have to go to the bathroom fine but you are supposed to sit in the rear until the sermon is over. NO these folks go back and forth like they are in a movie theater. GO sit down!!
3. Folks that have to be in charge of all of the following (Trustees, Finance, Staff Parish {united methodist thing}) and anything else you can think of. Look if you are low man on the totem pole @ work please don't come to church and try to run everything (wrong on top of it). And don't get mad when you have had that office for the last 20 years and you finally get voted out.
4. People who sign up to cook for events in the church and then try to take home 1/2 the food (that they didn't pay for!!). Also don't call your family from around the corner to come eat for free when the congregation is paying a small donation for it.
5. Not really a peeve but I laugh everytime when the ushers are on the floor and act like this is their firsttime ushering. My mom is in charge of the floor and that frustrates her to no end. I just sit and laugh at how they are doing everything but what they are suppposed to be doing. I try to get their attention so my mom have to fight as hard to get it. :D

I grew up Catholic and now I attend a Baptist church. When I was Catholic we were in Church for 45 minutes and I hated it. I actually attended a Catholic University and lived next door to the chapel and only went 2 times a year. However now I am in church for 2 hours and it doesn't even bother me.

Since I grew up Catholic I wore jeans to church, it was no big deal. I just didn't do it the Sundays I read the Scriptures. My church is laid back and my pastor is relatively young (about 40) and he don't care so the majority of the folks attending early service (7:45 am) are casual.

We have a sistah in the church who shouts at the same time each Sunday. One day she shouted out one door and came in through the other.

Soror, you'd better stop it.. lol:eek:

lolololol :D :D :D

I am serious!!! If I had a camera I would have put the sista on You Tube.

1. The attire( put on some clothes!!!!)
2. When the Rev uses too many slang/hip hop sayings (you be like...was he AT the club last night??)
3. phones going off, c'mon now, turn it off, better yet, why did you bring it in here?????

I so agree w/ this. My church just built a big rec center, brand new rooms for all the kids' sunday school classes, the works. We have children's sermons at every service and a "contemporary" service geared toward young people (and don't even get me started on some of these hymns). Like D said, maybe it will attract kids and parents, and we did need some updating, but I can't help but think it was better when we attracted them with the people in the church, not the things in it.

I went to a New Year's Eve/Watchnight type of service at a friend's church (caveat: I'm Catholic) and they put on a church video showing how far they've come from a year ago. Well, in one of the scenes, they were showing how the minister was going to prove God's healing power so people would give more during the offering by healing a man who suffered from cluster headaches. They brought this frail, older man up to the front and the minister got a running start and drop kicked this man right in his chest. :eek: The man was so winded that he needed to be helped up and when asked if he had anymore headaches he replied, "no, because I'm still trying to catch my breath." Nobody in the church saw the irony in this but I did and I made a mental note to never, ever complain about Sunday mass, the boring music or going to confession again.

^^^^^^^WOW at preacher drop kickin the old man!!:eek: :eek: :eek:

HYPOCRITES

Enough said. I am done, done, done.

so what was the story with the church finger?

what a great thread...glad someone brought this back to light!

someone mentioned it above, but advertising church sermons as seminars...

umm, stop taking all you learned in Photoshop 101 and applying it to church flyers and newspaper advertisements. its bigger and bigger here in noo yawk. i'm tired of ads talking about "get your tickets now!" since when you needed a ticket to get into church?!

lastly, can we PLEASE stop holding fashion shows, talent shows, (non-religious) concerts, HAIR shows, etc in churches? i understand if it is a big church that would be a suitable venue for such (i only can think of Allen AME around here cause it's HUGE) but really i don't wanna get a glossy 3 x 5 flyer of NayNay's fashion/talent show at Solid Rock Baptist Church on Friday night.

That was SO my old church, lol!

More pet peeves:
-What's up with these new churches that used to be target, best buy, and the movie theather? What kind of mess is that? I'm not going to a church that used to be a place that sold enemas and blue magic.

-I'm sick of tall people sitting in front of me.

-What's up with all of the cuddling doing service, save that stuff for your living room couch.

-Ooh those mothers at my old church got on my nerves sometimes. They always had something to say about my body language or the way I dressed. "Why are you wearing black, little girls aren't supposed to wear black!", "You need to have your mom sew up that split in your skirt", "Put your hair up!". This was the worst...one time I was chilling in the choir stand listening to the word after we sang and I saw a mother on the opposite side rolling her eyes at me. She then whispered to someone next to her, that person whispered to her neighbor, and eventually the whispering made it to my side of the choir stand. Finally my neighbor whispered in my ear "Close yo legs!" :eek: :o I was wearing a skirt (I was young, lol), but that was NOT her business.

OK no lie - there's a church that just opened like a year ago that used to be a low-grade meat market/chicken coop. they even have the same signage - they painted over the meat market sign and painted in whatever the name of the church is. YOU CAN STILL SEE THE MEAT MARKET NAME UNDER THE CHURCH NAME!

I dont ever see anyone going in there on a Sunday. Something about praising the lord over the stench of death that probably drives ppl away.

Missing Skillet
 

One Sunday, a few years back, I decided to attend church with a friend of mine. I'm guessing that the members had conducted some type of "Breakfast Gathering" prior to the regular service, and that they had been expected to bring their own cooking utensils and things of the sort.

Well apparently someone made off with the Pastor's skillet, and he made it known that he was very unhappy with the incident. At the end of the altar prayer, he shouted out, "I waaaaaant-ah, mah skillet back-ah! And may whoeva stole it-ah hit tha flo befoe they hit tha doe... Amen."

^^^I hope you are joking. If not that is funny and sad.

Oh how I wish I could say that I was joking. Sadly, it's the truth