Take a bathroom break, have a seat on the floor, talk to your neighbor...

I think it would be hysterical if once the "dance party" started, all the PNMs broke into a song which was not the song being sung. Rickroll!!!

Believe me, if my daughter had been prepared, she would have been the first one to flip them off and walk out the door. But 1. She was taken by surprise by the outlandish rudeness and 2. The pnm are coached to be nice to every sorority even if they aren't interested and 3. Seldom are you invited into someone's house in order to be mocked and belittled.

An uprising by the pnm would require more organization and knowledge than a random collection of girls trying to please everyone could muster. But some organization should take a stand against this mean girl abuse.

PNMDAD, I hope your daughter had a successful recruitment. I hope she has a house. would you share her final home?

I went through recruitment at UT, however I withdrew right before pref. I was left with only one invitation to a chapter that I could not see myself in at all. This was such a heartbreaking week for me, and I truly do not understand the way that recruitment works. I had recs for every single chapter, and I was even a legacy to one. My high school gpa was good, and I was involved in many activities with a respectable resume. I don't understand how I fell through the cracks like I did. I may try to rush again next fall, but I've heard it is even tougher as a sophomore. All I know is that it was a really hard and emotional week and the cuts were heavy

You didn't slip through the cracks, you had one house left.

TexasDancer, I'm sorry you had a tough week. The reality is that all of the PNMs at a place like Texas, Ole Miss, Auburn, OU, fill in the blank, are smart, poised, active, connected and typically attractive and well groomed and thanks to mom and dad, well dressed. The pool is just has a lot of parity.

You didn't fall through the cracks. You had a chapter that was interested in you. For whatever reason, you weren't interested in them. Rushing as a soph is even more tough. Texas is a big place and there are a lot of clubs, activities and people who aren't Greek. I hope you find some great opportunities.

ETA...pref is such a game changer that you won't find a lot of sympathy for dropping out before Pref.

Someone wanted YOU and had YOU on their bid list. Too bad that didn't mean much to you. Sorry if that sounds harsh but it's true. Have you ever had a guy break up with you? Know how that felt? That's how they feel about you now.

This! And they remember it, I think often girls think in a big recruitment if they drop out no one notices in a sense. But they do, that chapter knows you decided to drop out rather than give them a chance and if you think the chapters don't talk to each about this stuff, you're wrong.

It did mean something to me that I was on their bid list. I had an incredibly open mind the whole week and I would have been so happy in any of the houses but by this time in the week I was emotionally drained and I absolutely knew in my heart that this wasn't the house for me. Maybe I won't try to rush again next year if it's so difficult and if all the houses are thinking terrible things about me.

Why would the houses be thinking terrible things about you?

You know what? It is emotionally draining to go through recruitment and it's really easy to get down about stuff. If I were you, I would go find stuff to do on campus that isn't Greek Life. There's a ton of wonderful stuff at UT -Austin and lots of new friends to make and a wonderful 4 years ahead of you. Go have fun. Study hard. Make friends. Get involved on campus.

You make decisions about recruitment for 2015 later.

Someone on the thread told her that if you drop all the houses will gossip about you for dropping and think badly of you for it.

Texasdancer, it is an incredibly emotional time and lack of sleep, heat, inevitable tent talk, a feeling that this is the most important thing in the world and a thousand women with hyper emotions takes a toll, especially when you are away from home and starting something new. No one is telling you not to try next year or next spring if opportunities open up. You will know when it comes if you should put yourself out there again. Not being in a sorority means that other opportunities will open up that you wouldn't have had time for otherwise. Get out, meet people, hold your head high and have fun. The mom in me says, "not tooooo much fun".

KDCat is spot on. Pick yourself up, dust yourself off and get involved. In fact the best thing for you right now to get involved with helping someone else. Look for campus opportunities to give of yourself. The closer to the person helped the better.

It's true the house that invited you to Pref may be saddened and/or even offended by you dropping out. Or they may not. Doesn't really matter at the moment. Make friends that make you happy. Worry about recruitment a different day.

Thanks y'all. I appreciate all the advice. I'm still kinda bummed but I'm moving forward :)

I am a frequent lurker but rarely post. But this post about UT recruitment and the "dance party" got my attention. I live in Austin and have heard about the dance party for years. I have a few friends who were in the chapter that hosts the dance party. One friend in particular is appalled by it, and while she looks back fondly on her time in XYZ, she was turned off many times by the exclusivity of her sorority. She wished that they had ventured outside their comfort zone of only rushing girls from certain camps/high schools/etc. She was involved in many other student organizations and met people from schools all over Texas and the rest of the nation, and she said these were the experiences that really helped her see the world in a different way. Had she just surrounded herself with the same types of girls she went to camp/high school with, her world view would have been much more limited.

When I went through rush at UCSB many years ago, we definitely had a lot of girls from certain high schools who got bids because they had friends in the house. But many of the girls we pledged were out of staters or people from small towns in California who we fell in love with during rush - people who none knew. But they became amazing sisters.

Ultimately, you can't make a sorority change its ways. I just feel they're doing a disservice to themselves by not being more open minded. And I'm personally offended by the way they publicly let all the PNMs know who is desired and who isn't. It makes a joke out of the recruitment process.

This "dance party" thing is really disgusting. I read about it yesterday, and I am having a hard time understanding why UT Panhellenic continues to allow them to participate in recruitment or why their nationals haven't stepped in and put their foot down. It is embarassing for for all greeks. Are people too afraid to stand up and do what is right?

How do you think their founders would feel in they attended recruitment at this chapter?

I'm not sure of which house you had left that you would not be interested in joining, and don't need to know, but this is just a reminder that some of the houses do COB. If you might be interested in that, let UPC know as soon as you're ready (best sooner than later). The chapters doing COB can get lists from UPC of interested girls.

Word is that UT Rush was brutal this year
 

Buzz is that UT Rush was brutal this year. I live in the Plano area and I have heard about several girls from this area who were dropped (or quit after their "dream house" didn't invite them back). These were quality girls- but as others have stated, almost all girls going through UT Recruitment are polished, quality girls with connections.
Somone posted on a local Mom's board that girls from Plano did better at Alabama rush than at UT this year. I heard 15 girls with Plano as their hometown received bids at Bama last week.
It does seem strange to me that UT has such a small Greek system as I went to a big school in the MidWest where Greek Row stretched on for blocks.

Thanks KDCat. I didn't remember that. I would bet money that once a girl drops out of recruitment few sorority members will remember her or think about her. There are too many PNMs remaining, and too much to do to get ready for the next set of parties to remember all the girls who they either didn't invite back, or who drop out of recruitment entirely. And even the sorority that had invited the OP to prefs. are probably to busy with their new members and school to think about "the one that got away."

I agree wholeheartedly

Maybe their behavior is starting to haunt them. No girl from my daughter's school pledged the offending house.

Thanks for your concern. Luckily, she got the house she had been aiming toward for the last 6 months.

One final thought from me and I'll crawl back in my hole.
This dance party thing really threw me for a loop. I am older than most Dads at UT, and it has been a while since I've been actively involved in the Greek system. As I mentioned earlier, I was our schools IFC president after being president of my fraternity. In that time long ago and place far away, there was truly a communal spirit among the greek houses. There were issues of course, but if there was censuring to be done or behavior to be modified, we banded together to encourage civility for the betterment of the entire greek system. The "dance party" of this house and the forces that allow it to continue are the antithesis of the teaching of the greek concepts of brotherhood and sisterhood as well as gaciousness to all to whom you come in contact. Especially those who you invite to enter your house. I hope that these concepts are not out of date.

I will say I see a spark of it the advice and encouragement several of you have given to Texasdancer. Thank you for that

As pinapple mentioned, Panhellenic does fine them and they keep right on doing it. To disallow them from participating in formal rush would just open a really big can of worms regarding ritual and membership selection. I was thinking why don't they just do rush on their own, and then said to myself duhhhhh, because they are at or over total and wouldn't be able to take quota. Right? (paging gatordeltapgh)

I'm not disagreeing with anything you wrote, but how would it infringe on ritual and membership selection to disallow them to have their dance parties... or else? I'm not suggesting that can't have their private decisions remain private, but what they do IN FRONT of a PNM and how they engage with her can be regulated by Panhellenic. Where in the recruitment booklet does it say that at some houses some of you will be required to get up and dance? Do PNMs know and expect this coming in? This just seems like they are throwing a giant middle finger to the recruitment process as a whole. There are plenty of chapters with outstanding return rates that aren't behaving in such a manner, I guess I wonder why they feel the need to belittle everyone else they aren't pursuing? Do they think it adds to their aura of exclusiveness?

Frankly I am tired of the dogpile and the cannibalizing. I suggest that those of you who are so inclined spread the word among future PNMs to just stand stock still if the music starts and people are flailing around. OR, they could all clap their hands over their ears, with a horrified expression, eyes bugged out, and drop to the ground en masse, clutching their chests. OR they can imitate Donald Sutherland in Invasion of the Body Snatchers (the 1978 remake). That would be my move, personally. Scares me to death when I see him stretch out his arm, point, and emit that horrifying screech. Gah!

OK?

Yep, she wrote disallow them from participating in rush. That is exactly what I'm suggesting. How does that infringe on ritual if they've been warned, fined and told not to do something? Sounds like fining them is pretty much ineffective at this point and people are content with them allowing them to be bullies.

Because when Panhellenic starts saying "you may not do x, y, or z during a rush party" they do not know what groups may have in their policies or in their rituals (for some groups, pref party is standardized and part of ritual). When you start prohibiting behaviors, it's a very slippery slope.

Panhellenic is doing all they can and should do.

Considering a middle aged woman in Leawood Kansas who has never had any connection with UT knows which chapter and how this works, I can't imagine a Texas rushee doesn't know. But just in case, I think if I were part of an alumnae panhellenic in Texas, I would counsel rushees that it is real and give them some coping techniques. Clearly neither the national or the college panhellenic have any power over the situation so dealing with it at the rushee level is the next best option.

Here's the language from the Manual of Information (aka Green Book) on sanctions:

5. Sanctions
A. Appropriate Sanctions. Each College Panhellenic shall strive to achieve a fair and reasonable
resolution for infractions. Sanctions should fit the nature and degree of the offense.
• Monetary fines shall be acceptable only for a measurable offense of the Panhellenic’s
governing documents or stated membership recruitment rules.
• The amounts of monetary fines shall be predetermined by a vote of the College Panhellenic
Council and stated in the Panhellenic standing rules and/or membership recruitment rules
prior to the beginning of recruitment.
• Examples of reasons for monetary fines may be limited to the following:
o Late recruitment event invitation lists
o Recruitment events that exceed designated event times
o Prohibited postings on social media outlets
o Required chapter attendance at Panhellenic-sponsored events
Sanctions shall not:
• Forbid formal or informal recruitment activities or the observance of an inter/national
fraternity event such as an educational program, ritual ceremony or historical celebration.
• Affect a fraternity chapter’s quota or total.
• Affect the time of new member acceptance and/or initiation.
• Forbid the right of an NPC fraternity to vote in College Panhellenic meetings.
• Include removal from the College Panhellenic.

It seems to me that the CPC doesn't have the authority to restrict a chapter's participation in formal recruitment as a punishment.

SO glad to hear that your daughter pledged a house that she liked from the beginning. Congratulations to her!

Thank you for clarifying.

It is sad that a national organization has allowed this practice to continue. It shouldn't take a PR event to put a stop to this kind of behavior.

All you Greek Chaters are wasting your time expressing your outrage over the dance party on this website. Contact someone who can actually do something about it, like the president of UT, and don't claim he is powerless to stop it.
William Powers, JR.
president@po.utexas.edu

And what exactly do you think he personally has the power to do about it? If college presidents could do what they wanted about rogue chapters it would be a FAR different Greek scene on MANY campuses. A PNM could file a report alleging emotional injury with the Office of the Dean of Students (http://deanofstudents.utexas.edu/complaint.php) The Dean of Students would be more likely able to have some influence, but against all those deep-pocketed alumnae and their husbands? Naw. It's going to take their IHQ stepping in to do anything.

Or NPC involvement.
Actually, this can be considered hazing -- and it's not hazing your members, but the women you are making sure will NOT be your members.

You all seem to forget that GLOs are guests of the university. I would hate to be the President of the chapter and be called into the UT Presidents office and be told that the actions of the chapter were bringing the reputation of UT into disrepute and unless it was stopped there would be (unmentioned) consequences.

We are very much aware of the relationship between GLOs and the University. Many of us here are also very much aware of how the Greek system at UT works, and what the president can and cannot threaten. Basically, the scenario you have laid out is NOT how it works.

But I'll tell you what - prove me wrong. Write the president, and let me know how that goes.

You also presume that the University President would give a sh*t.

"All that is necessary for the triumph of evil is that good men do nothing"
Edmund Burke