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Rushing at an SEC School
I've noticed a lot of people talking about rushing at SEC Schools. A lot of people on here are from the North and some aren't even sure what the SEC is! So I decided to share my Rush experience from this fall at UGA, which is a big-time SEC school(hello...CHAMPS! :) ).
I wasn't the homecoming queen or the most popular girl at my high school in a large town/small city in NW Georgia. But I was a cheerleader, captain in fact, in the marching and symphonic bands; had a 3.8 GPA, National Honor Society, school PR groups, Newspaper Editor, yada yada yada. You get the picture. I applied to UGA and was accepted in December. It took me a while to make my choice between UGA and Auburn, due to the fact I've always wanted to be an Aerospace Engineer. But that lovely HOPE scholarship brought me here....and I couldn't be happier! Anyways, on to Rush. I wasn't totally sure I wanted to join a sorority, but I decided to give Rush a try at my older cousin's encouragment. I figured, what the heck, at least I can meet people. I went in with quite a few Recs, thanks to my cousin. I'm also a double legacy in KD and AChiO, Kappa Alpha Theta, and Tri Delta. Now I should tell you that somewhere between 1200-1300 girls participated in the Fall 2002 Rush. Round One- Lasted 2 days, since UGA has 18 sororities. We went to 12 on the first day, each for about 20 minutes with 15 minute breaks between each. We would go to each house in large groups. The President and VP Recruitment would introduce themselves and then invite us in. All of the sisters would be there, singing songs and chants. after a few(loud) minutes, a sister would take 1 or 2 of us and ask us very generic questions- where are you from, major, dorm, here's the kicker- "Are you enjoying Rush"(Whatever!!). You get the idea. THen they did the "I want to introduce you to my sisters!" and proceeded to herd us around the room, introducing us to people. At some houses, I felt like I was a piece of cattle, being shoved and herded. It was a big whirl wind. At the end of the 2nd day of round one, we ranked the sororities. TO be honest, I had a hard time keeping things straight.A lot of girls were super serious about it- they made page-long entries about each house in little notebooks between parties. But a few stuck out in my mind. I'm just going by memory here...but my first choice was AGD, then KD, ADPi, and DG , Phi Mu, and Theta were way up there too. Then I just listed the others, making sure to put my least favorites at the end. Round 2- We recieved the cards saying who invited us back, out of 18, only 6 invited me back. I was hurt at first that KD cut me, as well as ADpi, and Phi Mu, out of the 6 that were on there, 4 were some I really loved- AGD, DG, Theta, and A Chi O. The others were a Jewish sorority(I'm a Southern Baptist) and D Phi E. Round 2 was house tours. At each house a sister took you through, showing you the founders room, chapter room, and the bed rooms. I was in LOVE with the AGD house. I don't know if anyone here has ever seen it, it is a picture-perfect Southern Mansion. AGD was my first choice that day in rankings. Round 3- Skits. Theta and A Chi O cut me. I didn't really mind, because I wasn't too sure I'd fit in there. My cousin, who was also going through rush, thought it was weird that all the sororities we were legacies in cut me(She had a full list of invitations back every day). So I had basically narrowed my choice down to AGD, although DG was a great place and I loved it. Prefs- Cut only by SDT, the Jewish sorority, for obvious reasons. I attended Prefs at DPhiE, AGD, and DG. After the AGD pref, I thought I had my mind made up. Then I went to DG and felt so welcome and comfortable, that when filling out my Bid card, I changed my mind at the last minute and Ranked DG #1, and AGD #2, not even ranking D Phi E because I wasn't interested in joining. The girl I talked to was sweet as can be, but it just wasn't for me. So of course on Bid Day, I recieved and accepted a Bid from DG and I'm so happy I did so. Rush at an SEC school is highly competitive. Girls were crying, dropping out, everything. In the end though, I think the majority were happy. I know a few who de-pledged after a few weeks though. Sorry so long.... |
Good for you UGAnchora!! I'm so glad you found your home at UGA. I work at the university and have met some of your sisters when they came into my office. They were great girls! I also know your housemother quite well...GO DAWGS!
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UGAnchora,
Thank you for sharing your experience. I too am shocked that you were dropped during the first invitational round from several legacy chapters. I am sure it has something to do with the number of PNMs participating in recruitment. Where did your cousin pledge? Maybe she would like to come tell her story! A&As |
one more thing...
Carnation,
I have given this some thought since you bumped this post, and it worries me when a PNM is posting a rush story and people say (in addition to "you'll end up where you belong") "I know any chapter would be happy to have you in their sisterhood" or "you would make an awesome sister of XXX", or anything along those lines. Unless you know the PNM personally, you don't really know if they would make an awesome sister or not. Some of the PNM's don't look at it that way, though, and they think you know something they don't. I think we just need to be careful all the way around in giving false hope to PNM's, who don't have the experience to take it with a grain of salt. Just my .02 cents. |
Oh, absolutely! That's why Pnguintrax posted that permanent thread about touting our organizations during recruitment. I know as a PNM, I might have believed that the actives and alums on GC had an inside track. You're right on the money there!
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And even though I feel bad for girls who don't get bids from places they want to be, sometimes they haven't the foggiest idea what that organization is about when they do rush. I know I had no idea what chapters had specific problems until my friend became Panhel prez.
You know, it would be wonderful if we all had perfect chapters, there are problems everywhere!!! And we count on new people to come in, love their pledge semester and take positions to keep the chapter running. -M |
I keep re-reading this thread this week as Formal R. starts at my school this week. It def. has me watching what I say to PNM's who are nervous or torn between two orgs.
As far as my own personal "story" I wasn't invited back to any pref. ceremonies by the 3 orgs I visited on day 2 when I went through Formal R and was REALLY hurt bc I thought I had mad a good showing :( BUT I swallowed my pride the following fall and was CROWNed by Zeta *finally* after I almost didn't go back a second time when I didn't get a bid from the first COB event. After all that, a year later I was elected Pres....I suppose tho that I'm a rarity of it "working out" |
"You'll end up where you were meant to be . . ."
When I read that it sounds either amazingly fatalistic or terifically condscending. If the relationship was meant to work out it would have or will . . despite what we do . . . Well gee, if you got cut from every house except the one that no one wants to join, you must be meant to be with them! Destiny or a perfect match! I hope no one actually tells people this to reassure them. It would be pretty evil. |
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The one that James described--"the house no one wants to be in". Okay, y'all, again I am not talking about one of the smaller groups or one that's less visible or isn't full of queens. I'm talking about the house you get on some (not all) campuses that is full of skanks or known for vicious hazing or has so little spirit that they--all at once--have by far the lowest GPA, refuse to enter Greek Week or intramurals, and won't contribute to anyone else's philanthropies with bucks or bodies.
You guys know what I mean--it's the group that the PNMs know after first parties (even if they went into rush with a totally open mind) that they don't want. And right now I don't know of a group like that on any particular campus but I have seen several in the past.:( |
Oh, the skanks. They were pretty popular when I was in school. :p Just kidding! lol!
I was afraid "that" meant the smaller, less visible group. Thanks for clarifying. :) |
Well, I do think that in the minds of a rushee "that" house usually does mean the smaller, less visible, and less popular one. I was in one...............
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I think if everyone had read what Carnation has said about problems on her OWN campus not to mention all the things she and others have read on GC over the past few years, you would have a better idea of what she is referring to.
Small does not equal "bad" or anything else in this particular discussion. It's talking about a house that is sorority in name only. Not EVERY campus has one, but they do exist. Consider the basis of rush. Most girls going through recruitment have similar experiences, goals, activities and are in a GPA range that varies by a few points. They can turn to any one in their group and have SOMETHING to talk about be it soccer in HS, choir, journalism... but SOMETIMES, no matter WHAT, you have ZERO in common with people and THAT is what I believe Carnation is referring to. You can have a few houses that describe OTHER houses with negatives or terms that hit a lot of PNMs where it matters. This is a dirty rush tactic. However, when no words need to be spoken as the chapter speaks for itself, PNMs can walk out of a party and know full well, they would be miserable. When baby girl rushed, there were a couple of houses that SOME would have spoken less highly of than others. There are NO houses that fall into the category of down right BAD! Would she have fit anywhere? Maybe, on THIS campus, but some would "fit" better than others. I take that back. She would NOT have fit in a high maintenance situation...she's too laid back and doesn't like Prada!:D |
Who is Baby girl?
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Well, what about those girls who don't know what school they are going until way after graduation. In my case, I was soooooo sure that I was going to a certain school in Virginia that I didn't even consider other schools. I know that had I gone to that school I would be set in the greek community. But I didn't exactly get into that school... Then I come here, clueless about rush (that's another story! apparently all the girls from Texas didn't recieve the rush guide... sketch, huh?), but still feeling good about it. I go to the parties, I know a couple of girls in one of the houses, have a total blast just meeting all those new people. I thought everything went amazingly well, i go into to pick up my invites and bam! Cut from 9 of the 10 houses. I felt like a BIG loser. The whole time i kept hearing people say "you'll end up where you belong"... Oh sooo apparently I am uncool and belong to be sitting in my room alone while all my friends are at the house.... Yep, I definetly belong here.... riiiiiiiiiiight So basically I think that's a horrible thing to say... |
unless i'm mistaken....
baby giirl is jam's daughter who pledged dg last year...
and from all reports doing beautifully. all good and correct, jam? :p |
mmcat, you are correct! All is PRETTY good...though I wish her grades were a little better.
She is "enjoying" her college experience!:rolleyes: Megerts-there are so many stories about rush that didn't work out for wonderful girls. Some of us have first hand knowledge of this fact. Others have seen the friends of our children have a bad experience. That's why this is such an important topic. What seems the saddest part of all this is some girls let it color their self confidence and carry it with them for years. Others just move on and never look back. It has to be difficult in a large Greek system where campus activities seem to center on Greek life, but there really is a whole other world out there that is just as thrilling and fun as being in a GLO. It's a little more difficult because YOU (universal) have to make it happen. Killarney-I think knowing the ropes and the "real" personalities is a good thing. Maybe it would allow women to see past the cute skit or the "rep" they THOUGHT was true about the different houses. My daughter came home Sat. for a BABY SHOWER!!! Anyway, we did have a LONG conversation about things. So much about rush is out of "individual" hands. It really does help if you have people who can speak up for you. (Unless they were NOT your friends in HS) One last point, and perhaps this belongs on a different thread, but I think it's important. Many actives will say if you get cut, it isn't personal. Then you hear others say keep an open mind, and some get rather upset if a girl seem determined to go after certain houses. Well..........it IS personal from the PNMs perspective. Just like we advise the PNMs, perhaps some of the houses should consider that THEY shouldn't take it personally if someone cuts THEM. From THAT perspective, do all the houses really end up with the girls who belong there? Just food or thought. |
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1) when your school is made up of students from the local HS - see example above 2) when you have many students relocating from hundreds or even thousands of miles away, and are not as familiar with the system, or culture, or traditions of the local city. Case in point: I reported on another thread (cf, Sororities and HS info--or something like that) that Boston U recruits students in every state. Houston is over 1500 miles away from Boston, and Texas has a "national" flavor very different from anything on the east coast.. (Let's not even talk about applicants from Los Angeles, Tacoma, Anchorage, or Honolulu..... ) Even with Spring formal rush for freshmen, so they have a semester to get "settled in", how in the hell are 18-year-olds from another part of the country with a different culture of its own supposed to be as up-to-date on New England Greek life when they apply and accept to the school??? Long-term campus visits during the school year are not an option. And even if they were, the rumors and stereotypes are even more jumbled for an out-of-town freshman, then for someone who was born and bred in the area where they go to college. Let's have a little mercy on the frosh who may be dazed and confused by the rush process, esp if they're out-of-towners. IMHO, there is always room for improvement when it comes to educating new students about rush and each GLO. Just my $4.36 from an active college alumna.... Adrienne (PNAM 2003) :) |
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I do feel sorry for PNMs who basically get lost in the rush numbers and I wish that everyone had the opportunity to do what I did. But I think that is the same with everyone who goes to school in their hometown. Rush can be such a brutal experience, and it makes me sad that some awesome women are cut because the active members don't get the opportunity to know the "real" person. |
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I mean, if you can find people you like there in a group, why not??? One thing i have learned from my sorority experience, is that college is only 4 years of your life. Sometimes it is what happens after that matters. |
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This is wise . .
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"You'll end up.."
Of course not for everyone...that's life! If life hands you lemons...make lemonade...sit on the front porch and let everyone know that you are now wearing THOSE letters! |
This post makes me sad.
"You'll end up where you are meant to be." If you don't believe that then you don't believe in fate - which I guess maybe to some people that is no big deal. I give this comment as advice because it is something I had to tell myself when I got a bid for DG. I was extremley disappointed and wanted to cry. I wondered why so and so cut me, and why I wasn't good enough. I just kept replaying this phrase in my head, and after starting school and going out with DG a few nights and seeing the other sororities, it made me realize I really DID end up where I belonged. Even if a person does not get a bid, that doesn't eman this statement doesn't hold true. The whole point of this statement is to keep an open mind and to not get your hopes up. Maybe the person who doesn't get a bid will make a lot of friends in another sorority and COB them in the Spring - which might have been the plan for her all along. If you go into recruitment thinking that fate doesn't play a huge roll in it, well then I guess good luck to you. No path is for sure, and recruitment is certainly one of those that isn't an exact map for most girls. I can only speak from my own expierences, and if a rushee posts about how nervous she is because she doesn't think she well get into ABC sorority, then I will continue to tell her "you'll go where you belong." It happened to me, it happened to many others (inculding people who didn't get bids at formal recruitment). The statement isn't saying "You will definitly get in a sorority," the statement is saying (to me) "Keep an open mind because something you think might not be good for at the time will end up working out to your betterment in the future." In a bigger picture, life really is in fact that, "You'll end up where you were meant to be." Maybe not at first - but you never know what the future holds. |
where you were meant to be...
Meridionale is a perfect example of someone who gave a house a chance and worked it out for the best. More PNM's should have that attitude, but many are unwilling to do that and that is why some end up without bids.
However, rush, like life, is not always fair and doesn't always work out "the way it is supposed to" (the way it is SUPPOSED to being the way you intend it to). It just doesn't go the way you want it to sometimes - and often it has nothing to do with the PNM and everything to do with the process. That is why I think it is not helpful to say things like "you'll end up where you belong" and "things work out the way they are supposed to". Then, a PNM who is bidless on bid day, despite doing everything right, believes there is not house of which she is worthy. Sometimes the process gets screwed up - all PNM's should know this. |
If I am reading the Rush posts correctly, one of the reasons the process screws up is that the NPC is trying to tamper with the "Market".
A lot of girls that in a free market economy would have matched with the chapter they wanted are in fact cut heavily because of the artifical process. So I am not sure we are talking Fate so much as NPC's attempt to mimic Command/Control Economies lol. To blame fate excuses what seems to be a flawed system. |
Ok, here's a thought. Say that rushees could follow James' "free market" model and join whatever group they wanted. After a while, do you think the "top" groups would lose their status and the system would become more equal? Because a lot of the perceived desirability of a group has to do with its level of exclusivity.
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It might be better to tell people: Look if you get to know these girls with an open mind you might come to like them.
Realistically if you meet 60 girls you are bound to like a bunch of them and make some friends. If you make some friends you will probably enjoy your experience. Thats usually what happens when someon comes back to us and says, it worked out. OR they found a home. They made friends. However, its safe to say that they would have made friends in the organization they wanted originally. they just worked though their initial dissapointment. I am not abolutely sure why the women have decided to develop a system that puts undergrads in this position, but there it is. However, the potential to make friends may not overcome the fact that a chapter has a lower social status in the eyes of the PNM and maybe even in the eyes of the campus. In that case its perfectly understandable for the woman not to want to join, and we shouldn't be pressuring them to do so. |
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This is why I am a huge fan of Deferred Recruitment, and an even bigger fan of the NPHC's system of not allowing Freshmen to go through Recruitment. In those systems, you get to spend your first semester or year focusing on what you really came to college for. |
>>>Originally posted by James
I am not abolutely sure why the women have decided to develop a system that puts undergrads in this position, but there it is.<<< No system is foolproof (all you have to do is take a look at our last Presidential election) and I do agree that deferred rush and the exclusion of freshmen are great ways to take some of the pressure off. Keep in mind, though, that this system that "the women" have developed does work for the majority. Granted, I think that over time it has worked less well. James, any woman who has participated in rush on either side knows full well what the flaws are. |
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i did end up where i belong
Sorry but I ended up where I belong.
It sounds really stupid to say it now, however, rush was long for me and complicated and I was one very confused rushee, not knowing much going into it and the taboos etc. My Rho Chis were awesome, two very different people and also very different from myself, however, after i went off and signed my bid card they told me, we knew you belonged in Pi Phi from the start you were just confused at first! The next day they were almost as excited as me to deliver me the bid from Pi Phi! Looking back I really cant see myself anywhere else. On a somewhat related note, on our campus we have the problem of saying, when i went through rush the reason i knew i belonged in my house was because i just had that feeling you know? that feeling that this was where i belonged. In my house we highly discourage anyone from saying that, not because some of us havent gotten that feeling (i for sure did!) but only because not everyone gets that all consuming magical feeling that this is where i belong |
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I know it shouldn't matter but it often does, especially at selective schools. It's human nature--I've read several research studies that show that even infants will react more favorably to pictures of attractive people than pictures of those who aren't. And no, I don't want to get into a discussion of what constitutes attractiveness and what doesn't!
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Originally posted by AlphaXi4983-this is kinda off topic, but earlier someone mentioned that she watched "the cream of the crop" from her daughter's school get cut and her and all the other alum were wondering what happened.... sometimes those that would would consider a-list are only mediocre when they rush becuase of the quality of the other girls that go through, it just all depends on who goes through at what time. (i dont mean to sound snotty or anything, cuz i would hardly be considered a-list, but sometimes thats just the reality) The comment was mine, but Carnation saw the same thing happen with some girls from her daughters' HS. To clarify, our HS is known ALL over the state. Our graduates perform outstandingly. Our TOWN is not part of the NO, BR Laf. powerhouse but I repeat, our HS is. The point of the comment WAS to illustrate just how darn competative it was that year AND how highly qualified the PNMs were. As just one example-Our Magna Cum Laude-Dance line Captain-Homecoming court-favorite-Blond hair/blue eyed beauty AND A LEGACY was cut by ALL the houses (legacy included) that our little area thought she was born and bred to join---- after open house! She droped out in the midde of round two parties... I can assure you after following LSU rush for the past 10 years, there was nothing mediocre about them. I was more than pleased to see how successful my daughter's rush was. Call it shallow, but I actually wondered if the fact she wasn't on some kind of court would hurt her chances. Apparantly not. So, you see the point you are making is true in a sense, but all things considered, I think it reinforces the concept that sometimes there really isn't a specific reason a person is cut. Also, the fact remains that those girls most interested in rushing PROBABLY share common characteistics. Was it-imsohappythatimatheta-who said, "Rush is full of girls who have great resumes."? This is an undeniabe truth. |
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In a perfect world, it wouldn't but in this world it does. It's a shame, but it's true. |
The system may have flaws, and I'll agree that it sucks to get cut for whatever reason, but the system DOES work for the majority of schools and women. Yes, we hear about the bad more than the good, because when it works, we take that for granted. James, the fraternity free-for-all recruitment system is fine for fraternities, because that's the way you've always done it. And fraternities at many schools have chapters of such differing sizes, unlike sororities, that maybe that system is what will continue to work. NPC put in place a system to benefit both the PNM and the sorority, and honestly, I believe it works 95% of the time.
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