Thanks Cream and Kevin and James.

I guess I am just beating myself up over it because it seems like I never like ANYONE and I wonder what is wrong with me that that has been the case for so long...

And this guy, well, I've held on for this long because I thought maybe I was being harsh and/or looking for reasons not to like him....

I do know now that that is not the case--that, as Cream put it, we just don't have what it takes to be the kind of couple I want and need to be when I am in a relationship.

:)
Amy

Your Welcome Amy :)

Amy--
I totally understand what you are going through. I dated a guy when I first moved up here and he was nice but I was just not attracted to him. And he was a HUGE partyer, which was great at first, but after awhile, I was really sick of being out till 4am and trying to be a normal human the rest of the weekend. What made me mad though is he was a cool guy and I could have seen us being friends, but when I told him that(and I SWEAR I was really nice about it), he seemed fine with it and then never called me again. I called him once or twice after that and he was very short on the phone and would never return my messages. So, I stopped calling. I still see him out sometimes and he says hi but acts very cool. So guys, I guess if we have enough guts to be good about things and not lead you on, please try and be nice and stay our friends. I know there are all kind of different stories and ways of looking at this, but I wish things would have been different.

Yeah, but sometimes we don't want to be your friend. We have them already. We wanted a romantic interest. If you don't want that, its is cool, but why should we hang out with you anway? What would be our motivation?

ITs a hell of a lot more honest than the guys that pretend to be your friends and secretly have crushes on you.

*shrug* just a guys point of view.

You're welcome, Amy. How did it go?
James, as always, you make a good point.
The fact is that the guy that you don't want romantically is someone else's dream come true. In other words, one woman's frog is another woman's Prince Charming! :D

Okay, I will agree with that--the guys that pretend to just be your friend but really have crushes on you can be hard too. Maybe its just me--I had a lot of guy friends in college, some of whom I had dated and some I had not, but in the end, we were all pretty much friends, before and after break ups or hook ups. I've only been out for 2 years, so maybe I am still looking for that. On another sidebar--and the start of this whole thread--I have a date with the guy tommorow. I will keep you all updated!

I haven't done anything about this yet... I need to this week, for sure, its not fair to him to leave him in limbo.

AOPiLaLa -I for one will be waiting for DETAILS!

amycat412-No matter how hard you try, if there isn't chemistry it just won't work! The other person could be a saint but... I know there are many who can say "I grew to love him/her" but for me, if I didn't have a heart pounding, stomach flipping response right off the bat-I knew I never would. You are right, the sooner you let him know, the better.You are doing the RIGHT thing!

Thank you JAM. I KNOW you're right. I say it all the time-- I MUST be swept away with the emotion of it. I am a passionate, firey person by nature, so nothing less will do for me.

But, I am admittedly a WUSS when it comes to ending things.

I am making a pledge to you all to let this guy know this week!

:)
Amy

A friend sent this e-mail to me. I thought you might be amused.

There was this "Husband Shopping Center" where a woman could go to choose from among many men, for her husband. It was laid out in five floors, with the men increasing in positive attributes as you ascended up the floors.
The only rule was, once you opened the door to any floor, you must choose a man from that floor, and if you went up a floor, you couldn't go back down except to leave the place.
So, a couple of girlfriends go to the place to find men.
First floor, the door had a sign saying "These men have jobs and love kids." The women read the sign and say "Well that's better than not having jobs, or not loving kids, but I wonder that's further up?" So up they go.
Second floor says "These men have high paying jobs, love kids, and are extremely good looking" Hmmm, say the girls. But, I wonder what's further up?
Third floor: "These men have high paying jobs, are extremely good looking, love kids and help with the housework." Wow! say the women. Very tempting, BUT, there's more further up! And up they go.
Fourth floor: "These men have high paying jobs, love kids, are extremely good looking, help with the housework, and have a strong romantic streak."
Oh, mercy me. But just think! What must be awaiting us further on!
So up to the fifth floor they go. The sign on that door said "This floor is just to prove that women are impossible to please."
"Brighten up someone else's day...and Smile :)

Oh damn . . . :)

James, are you following me all over GC?:p

but of course, GC Virtual stalking . . . .

LOL! I guess that it is a good thing that I didn't give you my number! ;)

the plot thickens
 

So I met Matt's (the guy discussed earlier that I need to cut loose officially--though officially we are not a couple anyway...) coworker for drinks tonight-- supposedly to talk to him about doing some freelance copywriting for him. I was, for the reocrd, drinking sprite only....

OK, so we sit down and he tells me he's gonna email me a contact tomorrow of someone looking for someone to write freelance copy...

And then the next 2 hours proceed to be all friendly--we order appetizers and talk-- I mean he's asking me about my life, my family, we talked about movies and our mutual passion for them, it was a lot of fun, but... felt very date-y...

Found out he lived in Italy during his 20s playing professional soccer, we talked about things we are passionate about, etc...

Then we leave and he says "I'll walk you home." (I only lived a block and a half away) so we walk and I am cold so he puts his arm out for me to take and we walk and talk and get to my place and I'm all "This is me" And he seemed suprised that I was leaving him at my walkway and he goes to kiss me and I sorta turned my head and it half hit my mouth, half my cheek...

I mean at this point I am wondering WTF is going on-- when I met him the first time, not only was I the date of his coworker, but he was with a woman himself--who I thought was his girlfriend...??

So he said he'd call me tomorrow...and that we should get together again soon....???

OK, he is HOT HOT HOT, OMG he is hot, totally my type physically.. and he is smart and funny and athletic and ambitious and sensitive--all GOOD things...

Was this a DATE?

OMG if it was, I thought it was a meeting and could not have looked scruffier in my jeans and turtleneck and ponytail and very little makeup! ha ha

I am confused!!! Any guesses as to what just happened there oh fellow gc-ers?

:)
Amy

I think that regardless of what you want to call it he is interested in you! Time to find out if that girl he was with was his girlfriend and figure out if you're ready to cut the other guy loose officially. Sounds like fun!

Wait...I'm confused! Is the guy who lived in Italy the one you wanted to cut loose? When did Matt exit the scene and te "Hot" guy enter??? Or, is the "friend" now the "hottie"!!! I got up at 4 and only 1 cup of coffee so forgive me if tis is clear o everyone else.

Update
 

So, I am no longer frustrated by boys. I had a WONDERFUL time last night--great conversation, lots of laughs, lots of compliments(sidebar--guys, if the girl looks pretty when you pick her up and you can tell her without sounding fake, DO IT!! You will make her year) and just a great night. I am a very happy girl this morning!
Amycat--GO FOR IT!! The guy sounds VERY into you, so give it a try. And if he is HOT HOT HOT, even better(sorry, that sounds very shallow but oh well!). Thanks everyone!

hee hee Matt is the one I need to cut loose.
HOT HOT HOT is his co worker who I met at their company Christmas party when he was with a date...

:)

AOPiLala-- YAY! Good dates are so awesome--nothing feels quite like a great evening out with someone you're into!

amycat412-Thanks...I don't know where I lost the connection, but got it now!

AOPiLaLa-guys, if the girl looks pretty when you pick her up and you can tell her without sounding fake, DO IT!!
So true!
Glad you had a great time! Keep us in the loop! I love new romances.

Amy-
I don't think it was a date, I think you met a guy that likes you. Did you kiss him back??

Re: Update
 

So anything new?

Yeah, I can't wait to hear about the next encounter with HOT HOT HOT. I think that he definitely must be HOT for you, and he sounds like a real catch, too.

AOpiLALA, I am so glad that you had a good experience the other night! Yeah! :D

- Carrie

OK.. Hmm.. so...

The hottie that I met for those ambiguous is this a meeting is this a date drinks...

Didn't hear from him forever, so thought that settled that.

Then called me Monday at work, I answer the phone he's all "Hi Gorgeous"

Then I get a Happy V-Day email today...


I am confused and frankly, thinking I just need to not think about it, thinking he must have a girlfriend...

sorry that boys always seem to be so dumb. and it seems to never fail to be around the same time as the holidays .... grrrrrrrrrrrrr:mad:

I would guess that most hot guys in their 30s would prolly be players. I'd rather meet one who was hot looking, but not really looking if ya know what I mean. And then work up a relationship gradually.

If "too cool charlie" (or is it "too hot harry") comes on too fast, he is prolly coming on fast to most anybody as well (I don't mean this negatively toward you, but as a fact of guys). Then the issue is "how" or "can you" get past the BS and players persona to discover a real person and establish the basis for a relationship.

You feel like asking, "Hey dude, is there a real person in there?" And then, by the time you begin to figure out what this' about, he's "long gone larry". And then you get into the "all guys are jerks" mode...swear off guys for a few weeks, then begin again.

ps: Oops, I forgot....the title of this thread is "frustrated by boys." H'mmm, I wonder what age a boy grows up................??? I suppose its about the time he decides that "swallowing" is not a critical assett in his choice of a woman (this is in reference to another thread...haha.)

Amy, my guess is you are not as confused as you are aware and frustrated that you've "been there, done that" .

boys ughh
 

isn't it always not convinent for you but when the guy it needs to be right away

sorry this black thursday is making me miserable plus getting dissed for a formal.... what a great freaking day ARGHHH

Girls tend to be better organized socially Greek Letter Girl . . . So assume you can pull through for us an hour before our formals.