I understand your disappointment. It sounds like you've pulled yourself together and have been able to reconsider things. I hope you end up somewhere that you end up loving! Hugs and cheers!

Fingers crossed for a good Pref night, nittany. I have a good feeling about Toy Story!

There are definitely places where people ranked our sorority chapters, so I'm not sure what you mean in that regard.

You're talking to me as though I've never been on GC, haven't witnessed a larger recruitment, and can't understand that different chapters of different sororities are.. different. I understand all of this.

My point was more so that many weak recruiting chapters go though recruitment, it ends, and the thought of anything having to do with recruitment or befriending non-members goes straight out the window. And this also happens with stronger chapters. IMO, it shouldn't.

My one sister didn't completely turn things around for my chapter all by herself, but it was a start. Perceptions of chapters can obviously change. It's sometimes a struggle, but you need the attitudes of members to align and people have to want to work for it. I'm not saying that the chapters that are weak are filled with apathetic members who don't care about their sorority. Sorry if that's how you interpreted it.

Good luck, Nittanyville! I hope it will end up great for you!

No, actually I wasn't talking to you like that. I was explaining that your one sister wearing letters in a chapter of 10 people on a branch campus to help your PR is much different than how things go at University Park. I'm not sure where you are all ranked but, I know on various sites where they take pride in ranking (which is stupid to do), University Park gets ranked and branch campuses do not. I won't mention the name of the site but, I'm sure you understand which one I mean. My point wasn't that you didn't understand that different chapters of different sororities are different. My point was that changing a chapter's reputation at a branch campus with 2-3 sororities where chapters are much smaller is MUCH DIFFERENT than changing the reputation of a chapter at University Park where there are something like 19-20 chapters. It's apples and oranges. Your idea was like me saying, "Well, I know how Penn State recruitment goes and how things change there so, I definitely know how things work in all Big Ten recruitments or schools in the SEC." That was my point.

I will share that I did interpret your statement as thinking members in weak recruiting chapters were apathetic. I'm not mad, though. I know you wouldn't intentionally imply something like that.

Am hoping for a positive outcome for Nittanyville.
But, I have to go back to her first post, when she says that she did not see herself as a "typical sorority girl". But, she was focusing on groups that had typical sorority girls because they were top tier. Her words, not mine.
Reality check time. Frequently PNMs look to pledge a group that they would like to become, not who they are.

I firmly believe that a lot of the PNMs who are disappointed become so because they want to reinvent themselves when they go to college, not find sisters who are the same as they.

But I do hope that Nittanyview finds her home, and that she's happy!

Again, you're missing my point, but we'll leave it at that. I don't want to derail this thread.

I'm worried about nittanyville. Are you an introvert, sweetie? You keep mentioning how your rushers don't remember you. I want to caution you not to discount the groups you have left. Formal recruitment doesn't allow all women to shine their best...on either side. It is a very artificial environment in which to make friends. People that aren't in your face bubbly and talkative don't always make the best impressions in the fast paced, high pressure world of recruitment. BUT, the truth is, those impressions don't lead to the long term friendships that people remember. Those relationships take time and need introspection and an environment not provided by recruitment. For some women, those relationships can't be fostered until they are in a laid back situation with no pressure.

Honestly, would you refuse to be friends with women in these groups if you met them in class one on one? Probably not. It's more the idea of them as a group compared to the other groups. So...stop comparing them to the other groups. Just think of them as normal everyday people. Do they have something that with time could benefit you? If the answer is yes, give them a chance and see if a little time out of the pressure of recruitment will change how these you and these women interact.

Please stop assuming that I am missing your point. I'm not. You made it sound that because it worked at your smaller campus it will definitely work elsewhere. That was my point.

ASTAlumnae let it go for the sake of this girl's thread...c'mon, do the same!!!

I swear I may be stalking this thread more than any other recruitment thread I have in a while... can't wait to hear how pref went!

Ummmm...Actually this is about her thread. She spoke about the "tier" situation at a school I attended. AST Alumnae made a statement about how tiers can change and it sounded as though she was implying it was easy to do at such a major university based on her experience. I disagreed. If you don't like me replying to this, then you don't have to read it. I don't appreciate being told that I "don't get it" or something along those lines when I do get the point of what someone wrote. When people make statements about how things may change a particular way at your alma mater and you correct them, I will be sure to say the same thing to you.

Today is Bid Day! I wonder how our girl will do?

I was at Penn State in the 70's...it was a rough time to be Greek. Our chapter was small and recruiting was very frustrating. It got more frustrating when we went to bid matching my junior year. We ended up closing my senior year because quite frankly it was just too much for those of us that remained. I was happy to see us recolonize in the early 90's and am happy to see us continue to thrive on campus today.

I belong to an on-line alum chapter for my sorority. We have members from all over the country, from big houses to small chapters that meet in a room on campus somewhere. In the end it doesn't matter if your chapter was tops on campus or at the bottom or somewhere in between...what matters now, after almost 40 years, is that you share a special bond with a group of women you call sisters. Something should have "clicked" when you met one or some of them.

Absolute truth.

Absolute truth.

I'll be happy to PM you. This is nittanyville's thread.

I paid attention to groups that were "top tier" just because I knew they were "top tier." I by no means saw myself at those chapters and my favorite two were actually "middle lower 3rd tier."

I agree and I'm going through some thought processes on this and I"m so confused.

I'm not an introvert, I just don't think I'm great at making memorable, quick conversations. It takes me a while to warm up. Also I think my personality was hard to show in such a stressful, structured environment.

I definitely agree that the process is more "fake" I guess you could say, but the relationships are real. I could see that almost everywhere I went. I went into the process understanding that after seeing so many girls in such a short amount of time, it was very hard for chapters to not make judgements on easy things such as looks and clothes.

I think you make great points.

I thought I felt some clicks.

So since you are here, does this mean you didn't get a bid? It sounded like you did click with some sisters in the later rounds.

Nittanyville,

Hoping for whatever outcome is right for you !! Rush is tough process. Hang in there.

Fingers crossed for you!

You are right :(
I felt I clicked with Toy Story.

On pref night I went to:

Toy Story - I really liked this one. I talked to the same girl as yesterday. The ceremony was great and I felt really comfortable.
Hercules - Wasn't too bad, the girls I had a conversation with didn't really click with me and neither did the rushees with me. They were nice though and their ceremony was fine.
Enchanted - We stood for a while and my feet hurt. Wasn't really interested.

Oh Nittanyville, I am sorry. We were all rooting for you, I know that.

I am sorry Nittanyville.

Thanks, I know! Thats why I posted here, I definitely loved the community just as a reader before.

It's going to be all right I think, still upset now though.

Aw, I am sorry to hear it didn't work out for you, Nittanyville. I was definitely hoping for the opposite. Perhaps things will work out for you after this to where you still make a positive impact on your campus in other social activities! :) Stay positive.

Did you SIP/"suicide"?

I am trying to stay positive!!

I ranked 2 out of 3 so I knew getting the call was a possibility.

Hugs to you! I know it's difficult.

Well, you took a chance and that's okay. I know you felt like you clicked with Toy Story, and being a pref means at some level you did. They just made stronger connections with other girls. That doesn't mean you have to be done. Formal recruitment may not be your way to stand out. Get to know women in sororities IRL. COB happens when they reset total and if you are ready, you may have a chance to get a bid. When the hurt has faded a little, call the Greek Life office and ask about informal recruitment.

Speaking as someone who also did not get a bid when I went through NPC recruitment, this community has some of the most supportive women I've had the privilege to "meet." So, stick around. Support others. :)

I hope that you will look into COB if it's an option. (Disclaimer: I know less than absolutely nothing about recruitment at your school, or if COB is an option.)

Do something totally self indulgent, you've earned it. :-) Whether it's Ben & Jerry's, online shopping, watching trashy TV...just do something that makes it feel a little less bad. And in a few days it will feel even less bad. You'll be just fine at Penn State whether you COB or not. It's a great school with tons of opportunities to make connections!

Aw man! I just saw ZTA's bid day picture on Facebook and I couldn't help hoping you were in there! Hugs to you!

Really sorry, Nittanyville, I really had my fingers crossed for you. But as I mentioned in an earlier post, there IS life outside of the Greek system at Penn State. There are 40,000 people there, for goodness sake! You can still get involved in so many ways on campus, be involved with THON, etc. Let yourself wallow for a bit then shake it off and get back to focusing on all you can do while you're there. Trust me, your days in Happy Valley will go by all too quickly - enjoy them!!

Nittanyville, good for you for giving it a try and seeing it throiugh! I am proud of you. You'll find stories on GC about how some women shine in the less structured setting of COB, should you decide to pursue it. For now though, take time for yourself and as others have said, do some kind and fun things for yourself.

Thank you!! *hugs*

Yeah, I understand, especially with so many girls going through. And everyone loved Toy Story's pref night so I knew they'd have a lot of number 1 rankings on the rushee side. I think this is great advice and I will look into COB if I can. I don't think that rushing formal is any better or worse than another way.

Thanks, yeah everyone is both kind and insightful and it's a great mix for a forum, especially when online forums tend to be unorganized and can get out of hand.

Spent good time with friends and felt better (but it's funny because I cried more when my friends were there just being there for me). I am definitely not against Greek and I want to keep all my Greek friends!

This is seriously so sweet!!!!!

I agree, I think THON is great no matter who you do it with, and I definitely want to make the most of the rest of my time here.

Thanks for sticking through it with me! I will definitely take time to think things over and make sure I show my friends how appreciative I am they stuck with me through the process and with me afterwards.

Just as a general note to everyone, I still think the Greek system is great. Even though I'm not a part of it, I obviously wouldn't have been so upset if I didn't want to be a part of it. I am considering rushing next year although being a junior will be tough. I am also considering COB or maybe another Greek org.

But right now I'm just getting through the sting and trying to keep my emotions in check. Thank you all for your support and feel free to PM me if you have any specific questions that you don't want to be posted on this thread! I will continue responding to posts here but I don't want to clog up the front page.

Thanks so much for reading and supporting! It helped having this to look forward to each day. <3

Good for you for sticking with the process! I'm very sorry that you did not get a bid but I hope that you'll try COBing! Good luck with the rest of college!

Are there opportunities for COB at Penn State? Just in case, you might express interest to the Greek Life office. Yes, your life will go on without Greek life, but maybe there's still a glimmer of hope :) Best of luck to you regardless.

Still pulling for you to find what you're looking for.