Maybe, it's different when you're in a Fraternity. It seems that for the most part sorority members are the ones that are most appalled by this. But I have definitely heard the phrases, "Are you f*n retarded, don't make me kick you in the balls". And no one has ever thought twice about it because no one takes it as a real threat.

I'm sure I'll have a bunch of fraternity members disagreeing with me now, but my point is, that it happens, and I personally would never be offended if I received a text like this from one of my fraternity brothers.

Fraternity brothers are my family AND my best friends. There are some things I wouldn't say to my biological brother, but would not hesitate to say to my fraternity brothers, because they are in fact my best friends. And that's what I was trying to get at. And that's what I meant by the fact that they should not have to censor around family. And with all due respect, I don't think you should feel 'sorry' for me even if that is acceptable in my [fraternity] family.

My sorority. SO not cool.

National Kappa Delta issued a public statement, and it is being Dealt With.

http://www.kappadelta.org/assets/128...?1366400598692

IMHO, if you can't express yourself without massive amounts of profanity, you're poorly educated and stupid.
A few well-chosen swear words, used at the appropriate times, are way more effective than a carpet bombing.

Agreed! It's not acceptable to talk to your sisters that way. Ever. I understand the writer's frustrations, but there are much better ways to go about it than how she did it AND her response with members may have been better as well. I'm sure she is not the only one in the chapter that has the same feelings.

I don't know all of the facts, BUT as an advisor, I'd probably make the recommendation that both the member who wrote this and especially the member who leaked it resign their membership. Based on what the member wrote/went about it in her email, I have a hunch she's had other problems within the chapter and this is not a first time screw up. Just my opinion.

Absolutely!!

"If you can't express yourself without massive amounts of profanity, you're poorly educated and stupid."
I completely agree with this! I hate that prospective PNMs might have come across this letter. But I hate even more that their parents are seeing it, and if they have no experience with Greek life themselves, this is the image they now have. I don't care if this is the vernacular that everyone expects college students to use. If it's okay for a person in leadership to use this language and say these things to her SISTERS, where do we finally draw the line?

From Delta Gamma FB page:

Delta Gamma Fraternity

You may have either read or heard about the inappropriate email written by one of our Collegiate members that was laced with profanity and directed toward her fellow sisters. While this is not reflective of this chapter or this Fraternity, many gossip sites have published it, shared it and gotten thousands of comments on it.

We want to make it clear that this letter in no way reflects the values of Delta Gamma as an International Fraternity or our chapter at the University of Maryland. The processes by which Delta Gamma handles member discipline are confidential, but we have a team of women working with the chapter to take all appropriate action including protecting, educating and supporting the chapter members in the aftermath of this event.

We appreciate all the notes of support, encouragement and offers to help as we work together to foster high ideals of friendship, to promote educational and cultural interests, create a true sense of social responsibility, develop the best qualities of character and to uphold and enforce our values.

Laurie Petrucce Roselle, President
Colleen McGuire, Executive Director



I'm sure they'd all like to know who shared the email with others.

A couple of years ago an email got released from a sorority at Arkansas State University where a sister told underage members how to get around the drinking age id request at their formal. Many years ago an email from a chapter at University of Missouri got out where the sister told members to lie about being sick or having gotten a recent tattoo, because they wanted the members to donate blood to win points for Greek Week.

Here is a dramatic reading and critical commentary with additional references to her tweeting history.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature...&v=w6IOdVvkLns

I think I would change my name and go finish my degree in a study abroad program if it were me.

+1 to both. Very different interpretations, equally hilarious. And I'm with you, Old Row, I'd sign up for a study abroad right quick.

I think all of my sisters here are going to want to shake me, but I found the letter hilarious, and I'm fairly certain every curse word that came out of the letter writers fingers has also come out of my mouth at some point in time or another. Mostly at work. It sucks for the letter writer that someone made it public. A valuable lesson learned. Once it's on the internet, assume that it will be there forever and everyone will see it. Something I've unfortunately had to help some other young ladies realize lately.

So, if she would have used the King's English to basically say the same thing (i.e. that all her sisters were dull people who by their own admission needed alcohol to be sociable, who did a crappy job of participating in activities thereby giving the chapter a bad reputation, and that it's very important to make nice with what I assume is a popular fraternity) that would be totally OK, right?

Someone who commented on the DG Facebook page got it SPOT ON when she said that the main problem is not this email. It's a campus culture that measures the popularity of the sororities by who they "pair" with. I know that's true to some degree for all schools, but at some far more than others.

I was hoping this was some crazy catfish/fake kind of thing. The twitter screen shots, DG confirming. What a mess. Sometimes I think anybody under the age of 25 shouldn't have access to twitter or other social media because they say too damn many stupid things that they think are funny but aren't. Is common sense even in their vocabulary?

I thought the email was funny. It's crazy how GLO IHQ's have to step in for even the slightest online "PR disaster" these days because of FB and twitter... I'm sure they miss the old days where they only had to do damage control in extreme cases.

As an advisor, I miss the good ole days of no Facebook and no Twitter! :)

As an advisor, I agree. As a mother, I have an irrational hope that social media will completely lose the cool factor by the time my child is a teenager. (It probably will, but will be replaced by something even worse, like instant mind readings posted in real time online.)

I am on the fence about this. Does anyone have a picture of this feisty young broad? Her looks will determine if I will praise her or judge her.

She kinda looks like Justine Bateman and Lou Diamond Philips reproduced. :)

I'm going to side with Deranged Sorority Girl on one point, and it goes both ways - sorority to fraternity/fraternity to sorority.

If you are teamed up with a group during an activity(Homecoming, Greek Week, Step Sing, etc), it is extremely rude of you to talk about all the things you do with another group of the same gender as your teammates. If you are in Omega Chi Delta fraternity, teamed up with Gamma Psi sorority, do not spend a lot of time talking about how much fun you have hanging out with Zeta Beta Zeta sorority. Likewise, Gamma Psi members should not be telling Omega Chi members all about how they love hanging out at the Kappa Tau Gamma fraternity house.

It's rude to the members of the group you are teamed with. Plain and simple.

It's one thing if the other org comes up in natural conversation: "Yeah, we had a drop in at the KT house last Wednesday. What about y'all?" "Oh, the ZBZs came over for a pledge swap that night." or, "You're an engineering major? So's my boyfriend. Do you know Rusty? He's a KT." "Oh, yeah, he's cool. Isn't his sister president of the ZBZs?"

But, to stand in front of members of other groups and talk about how you wish you were at another house? Rude.

You might be teamed with the "lowest tier" chapter on campus. Guess what, especially among fraternities that seem to ebb and flow on the popularity scale, that chapter may end up being one of the most popular in a few years and the members may have long memories.

I agree. This is no different from, like, being at a party with one group of friends and telling them you are leaving to go to a better party.

The same goes for fraternities. In what world are you not judged by the company you keep? What's wrong with that?

Besides, that's not what this is about at all. This message wasn't about hanging out with Sigma Nu, this was about working with the fraternity you're paired with for Greek Week. I'm not sure how it is at UMD, but in other places, if not most other places, the selections are more-less random or based on the size of the house and not based upon the preference of the members.

LOL! I love how I can always count on you to make me laugh :)

First, love the Greek references!

Second, I agree with the thought of encouraging participation and not being rude to the group your group is paired with, regardless of tier. You will never regret using good manners and treating others with kindness. However, being rude in order to encourage said participation and manners, probably not the best way to go.

I keep repeating this for whatever reason, but for all anyone here knows, she was trying to be funny, and if so, high five.

someone frequents TFM ...

https://www.facebook.com/deltagamma/...51546640902450

DG with an official statement. Seems she resigned her membership.

I thought it was funny when I thought it wasn't real. I posted as much in this thread. Now that I know otherwise, not so much. I also know of one blogger who has given her an opportunity to write for him. (Clay Travis of outkickthecoverage). She'll be fine.

Its unfortunate that this situation was brought to the public eye and this young lady was "forced" (for lack of a better word) to resign her membership. I just wished that she had taken a step back for a minute, after venting her frustration and wrote the email in a more appropriate tone. Again, I have no problem with the basic sentiment of the email....but the tone was wrong.

I have no problem with the email, obviously other do/did.....

Our float/homecoming pairings were never random, you had to be asked. If it was a school where pairings WERE random, I doubt a group's actions during that period would carry as much weight as it apparently does at UMD. FWIW, it seemed to me more like Sigma Nu IS a popular fraternity there but the sisters are in a rut and would rather stick with the less flashy groups they are more comfortable with. That's how I took it anyway, someone at UMD could probably make it make more sense.

Most pairings (homecoming, all sing, carnicus) were not random in my days as an active at Tennessee, but Greek Week was. Maryland could operate similarly.

Doesn't matter. I've seen shenanigans in my own time as an advisor where someone has tried to be funny in public at a fraternity competition event, and it ended up being a complete PR disaster. And as I stated previously here about my hunch that this individual has probably been a problem before, the same was true in my instance, and unfortunately while intents may be for humor, the consequence can be one's membership. Maybe it is just me, but my gut says this was not written for the purpose of a laugh.

Agreed. People that flip out like this in an email are inclined to do it in person. That type of "leadership" doesn't inspire people to follow you; it just makes you look like a hot mess that no one wants to be associated with. It's immature. And yes, it's very funny when you're looking from the outside in. It's uncomfortable and upsetting when you're the one being screamed at.

I think it is unfortunate the student resigned from her sorority. Now we just have a bitter ex member who will probably tell everyone how her sorority screwed her over. I think it would have been good for her to stick it out by stepping down from her position and learning how to work with a group. But this was a lesson for her and hopefully she will think twice about how she communicates in the future. She's gotten her 15 minutes of fame, and I'm sure she will be fine-- maybe even get a blog or book deal going.

She's not saying anything some of us haven't felt in trying to "motivate" others; the difference is that you need to think before you speak/send and put yourself in the listener's shoes to see if what you're trying to convey will be heard and if they will be receptive. I hope that lesson has been learned. I think that this incident will be the topic of conversation for a while and lead chapters to discuss positive PR, proper motivating words, and leadership.

I dunno. Been watching this unfold. As I repeatedly say it could be any one of our members. Not judging. Humor is individual. I think Calvin and Hobbes is awesome and other people think the opposite.

Do think that the Internet and living so publicly "in your face" and glorifying public figures has inured us to accepting questionable/tasteless behavior.

That email is the kind of thing (meaning a rant, not necessarily that exact email - but a rant, nonetheless) I might write and stick in a draft folder and look at in a week. She hit the send button. Sigh.

I've always been warned, "it's not what you say, it's how you say it." I've tried to imagine what I would think if I was this girl's mother. Frankly, I can't imagine being her mother, but I'll bet her parents are not among those who find the letter hilarious, nor her tweets or the aftermath of everything going viral.

As far as her resignation goes, does anyone know if she was asked to resign or if she stepped down and out of her own accord?

I love you for the Greek reference. As long as no one mixes with IKI, we're cool.

Me, too! It's something I said repeatedly to my collegians when I was advising. I think that message goes a long way in helping people communicate.

I just feel bad for my friend who joined the Maryland chapter of DG this semester. Now she has to go through her collegiate experience with the campus stigma of "the sorority with the crazy b*tch who wrote the funny email", which won't help them in recruitment and otherwise. I don't wish to know who shared this email, but I do hope that they really think about how they've affected their chapter both nationally and locally.

Very curious how this will affect the Delta Gamma Chapters across the nation during recruitment. I can see it drawing some girls in because of the "fame" although negative as it has been, and I can see some girls not ranking them because they see them as tainted. (I can see mothers advising their daughters to not pref that c*nt punt chapter...lol) I can't remember any story in recent times that has caught fire like this. Even the Homeless mixer and Mexican mixers didn't seem to be as viral as this. How exactly do you field those questions from PNMs if you are an active DG and it comes up in recruitment conversation :eek:

I think it will blow over. Everyone knows that girl is no longer a member and the sorority doesn't tolerate this type of behavior. It may even paint them as "famous" and make girls want to join because of all of the attention. I also don't blame the whistle blower. I get what you're saying about keeping matters internal-- but this has started an important conversation about how to lead and motivate. I'm sure the sororities will be re-educating their members on not sharing private emails, but if someone was hazing, you'd expect them to report it and for it to be in the news. I think screaming abuse at someone garners the same type of attention. I'm sure the email was forwarded not to get "help," but to call out the psycho who sent it.

I really think this will blow over quickly and be a distant memory by the time recruitment rolls around. I posted a link to the infamous blood drive email from a few years back, and I'd be willing to bet no one remembered that or blinked an eyelash the following recruitment.