SEC schools are where Miss America contestants are red shirted. Even the reigning Miss America, via New York, is really from Alabama. At Ole Miss, Tea Party is liberal. I'm now a Yellow Dog Independent,keep that strictly to myself, but I rushed in the SEC over thirty years ago.

I apologize if I come across rude but is the mother of this unique daughter for real? I'm reading this and aging myself when I think "gag me with a spoon".

Now back to you ladies who are kinder and nicer than me.

On the premise that the OP is "real" (although the user name, prounounced aloud, suggests otherwise): JLCo has posted enough specifics about her DD (and that acronym makes ME gag) that anyone could pick her out in a flash in any recruitment at any school anywhere. That might not be a good thing.

I know that this is an unpopular statement, since we (rightfully) stress the importance of preparation for recruitment, but it's not 100% impossible to succeed in SEC recruitment without preparation. I went through at an SEC school, had only one rec which was to a chapter that dropped me round 1, and still had full party schedules and got my first choice sorority. It's not the smart way to do recruitment - why handicap yourself from the beginning for any reason other than ignorance of the system? - but I don't want SEC PNMs to decide "it's not even worth it to try since I decided to rush last minute." You are not guaranteed to fail without advance preparation, but it will be a good deal harder to succeed.

Thank you SKS. I was in a mood last night. I know what you say is true, but it certainly is not the norm. Seems like if we mention to a poster like JLCo that bids can be earned without recs at SEC schools, they automatically assume that their snowflake is special enough to get by without them. Because if YOU were special enough to get a bid without a rec when you went through rush, then their "DD" certainly is too. Know what I mean?

In addition to securing recs. for all chapters at SEC university, the earlier in the summer they are sent in, the better.

I am convinced that one of the reasons a fabulous young lady I helped find recs. for did not achieve the results she had hoped at an uber-competitive recruitment, was because she decided to rush a couple of weeks prior to recruitment, and where she attended college, that was way, way late to be sending in recommendations.

Thank you SKS. I was in a mood last night. I know what you say is true, but it certainly is not the norm. Seems like if we mention to a poster like JLCo that bids can be earned without recs at SEC schools, they automatically assume that their snowflake is special enough to get by without them. Because if YOU were special enough to get a bid without a rec when you went through rush, then their "DD" certainly is too. Know what I mean? IrishLake
__________________

Spot on IrishLake! I always worry when someone posts that "I had a great recruitment and only had one rec." because as IrishLake said, some folks seize on that and don't bother to get recs. at all and are then devastated when they don't get the bid they had wanted. That can happen, and I don't doubt that In SKS case, that is exactly what happened, but i would venture to say that at some schools no rec.= top choice is the exception and not the rule.

One girl who pledged ZTA at a school where that chapter is a perennial favorite with PNMs claimed that she got her #1 choice without a rec. Knowing our national policy, and knowing that chapter, I knew she was mistaken, and that someone had probably sent in a rec., unbeknownst to her.

I agree 100%. I absolutely DO NOT recommend going through SEC rush with no (or one) recs if you have any say in the matter. I was completely in the dark about the process when I did it - seriously, think Bill Murray in 'The Man Who Knew Too Little'. JLCo and her daughter now know what they should do in order to maximize the odds of a successful recruitment, and why would you not do everything you could to make the process better for yourself? People apply last-minute to medical school, too, but having been on my medical school's admission committee, I can tell you that those who spend their entire college career preparing tend to do better in the process.

I just don't want last-minute PNMs to read this thread in late July and decide not to go through recruitment at all. You can still rush, but realize that your options may be limited and you will not have all of the same opportunities that a young lady who is well-prepared will have. Looking back now, I'm amazed at how smoothly my recruitment went. I think a large part of it was that I wasn't worried about who invited me back because I had NO preconceived notions about any of the chapters, and that is a very rare state of mind for the current set of PNMs, even those who do not have any Greeks in their families. It's also possible that my mother's friend, having written me the one rec I knew about, could have called her friends from other chapters and had them write recs I knew nothing about. (It happens.)

Or hey you know what? Go ahead and dont get any recs because you did not have any friends or any family or even anyone you have ever met that is in an NPC group to write one for you.
Then no one has to feel bad if your rush does not go well but you?
And the chapter wont have to be up later trying to decide on who to invite back

I know quite a few people who had smooth SEC recruitments without recs -- but they all went through recruitment before RFM was introduced! I believe that was 2003 and seems to be what was the real game-changer. I know one SEC sorority alum who just last year was suggesting that PMNs not rush until their sophomore or junior year...she did at UGA and it was great. Well, her recruitment was in 1988! :) Not everyone has kept up with changing times.

I know it does still happen in the SEC, but it is the major exception and not the rule. I don't know a single PNM (since RFM) who has had a smooth go in the SEC without recs, including those with a lot of friends in certain chapters. It's a huge recruitment-risk. Too huge to even consider.

So you think that your gifted, brilliant daughter, who you've said will be spending a lot of time learning and doing RESEARCH as part of her major, someone who dances competitively and likely has to practice for hours and hours, is going into something as complex as SEC sorority recruitment with just "a little research" and then "try to wing it"??

That just doesn't add up.

More, and more, this just reeks of troll.

1. If your daughter is going to be involved in dance team to the detriment of all else (to the point that she may "major" in dance) she shouldn't rush.

2. If she is attending any school listed in this thread and you have the knowledge that you have now (i.e. it doesn't matter what it says on the school's website, you need to have recs to have optimum success in recruitment unless you are super lucky or Sabrina the Teenage Witch) and she is unwilling to put in the prep time to get recs and just wants to "wing it," she shouldn't rush.

3. If she dislikes being in the company of people who don't have her same interests and same IQ, she shouldn't rush.

or go to college, or have a job, or mix with the general population in any way.

I think I need to clarify. I said that I think she might do a little research. I was in a hurry when I wrote this. I tend to be a planner- so I will make sure my dd knows what she needs to do to prepare. I think we will get a few recs and do some research... perhaps not as much as what some people here put into it. I just don't see us pursuing a rec for every Greek sorority on campus. While that would be very thorough, I don't see us going that route. Also of note is that meeting sorority members and establishing connections would be very difficult due to distance issues. Therefore, this is not something that I feel we should beat ourselves up about and we will not be brainstorming or researching for ways to meet current members at the schools she is interested in. Although I think preparation is good, I also believe that God has a path for each of us.

BTW- I shared some of the positive advice I received here and dd does seem interested in following through. It does involve some work and preparation and she basically said she is willing to do that. So, I am on board with that if that is what she wants to do. I would never in a million years be interested in joining a sorority for myself- but I will certainly support that path if that is what interests my daughter. My mother and grandmother were members of a sorority, so perhaps she can carry on their tradition.

While I understand why you may not want to do all the labor before recruitment, I think it may be something to think over. Re-dos in SEC sorority recruitment are very, very uncommon. Without recs at many of the SEC schools, you are stacking the deck against you. This isn't something your daughter can decide on after recruitment. If your daughter emails her teachers, dance teachers/coaches, family friends, old babysitters etc, it is amazing how many sorority women one knows. There are a ton of panhellenic alumnae chapters throughout the US. Legacy status (aka your mother's sorority) will not matter at many SEC schools because there are a ridiculous amount of legacies going through. Why not try to put her best foot forward if this is something she wants to do?

One does not always get Recs from current sisters at the college your daughter may attend. I mean, you CAN, if you know those sisters really well and their organization allows that kind of thing. (Not all sororities function the same when it comes to who can write Recs. Some are alumnae only, some are alumnae or active collegiate sister at a different school, etc). However, it is absolutely not necessary to meet current sisters at the college she chooses to go to in order to get Recs. Have your daughter talk to her teachers, parents of friends, friends from church, friends who graduated a few years ago, etc. This is how one gets Recs. Network within your OWN community. Not the community in Tuscaloosa (or where ever). There are also Alumnae Panhellenic organizations all over the country that have members who are happy to write Recs for girls in their geographical area. So if your daughter has a teacher who was an AwesomeAlpha at Iowa University, she can write a Rec for your daughter for the AwesomeAlpha chapter at SEC U. If her grandmother is still around, SHE can write a rec for her sorority for the chapter at the school your daughter goes to, even if Grandma didn't go to school there.

You CAN do this. Anything worth doing is worth doing right.

If you're not going to try to get a rec for everyone (or worse yet, if she or you have already chosen groups that you think would be "suitable" and don't want to bother with the rest) then she shouldn't waste time going through rush.

Ditto if whatever school she's attending has a Panhellenic preview weekend (the majority of schools do not do this, and it can be an enormous help to a rushee) and she isn't planning on attending it. If she was going to a small school with a small Greek community, she could probably half-ass it and turn out fine. However, that isn't the case at a "large university" especially an SEC university.

I think we've all said enough. If OP's daughter is as thorough and diligent as she says, and I suspect she is, the daughter will do all the research she needs to do and act accordingly. A gifted student who wants to be a doctor and dances competitively is Type A enough to get all her recs.

I think we're misreading the situation. Mom doesn't care if daughter goes Greek or not; daughter is interested. Mom just came on here to see if girls like her daughter tend to join sororities and have successful college experiences. I think we've satisfied her that it is possible, armed her with some info and warnings on the competitiveness of SEC recruitment and can let it go. We're not going to force people to get recs if they don't plan to take it seriously.

There's plenty of info on how to secure recs floating around on GC. Daughter seems bright and will figure it out if she wants to.

I don't think mom is trolling. I think she's a typical parent.

ETA: I just reread this and I sound like Tom Earp. Transitions between paragraphs would be nice...

Nah.. not even close. Your writing made sense.

Besides, you forgot all the smilies and the abortive syntax and the !!!!

Unfortunately, she put me off when she referred to her daughter as "dd."

I'm sure you meant that you AND your daughter will make sure she knows what she needs to do in order to prepare. Part of the fun is planning/preparing for recruitment. It's important she be part of the process.

And you do not have to contact members of the school she wished to attend. As many have already mentioned, for recommendations, you can reach out to those in your own community. There are some great threads on this board on how to secure rec's. This is why it is important to do ALL your research, not just a "little". It will resolve any "issues" you think you have (i.e. distance issues) that aren't even an issue to begin with!

In the end, if you daughter is truly interested, she will want to take an active part in researching, securing rec's, and be truly prepared for recruitment. If she isn't, her participation (or lack thereof) in the process will be evident come recruitment time when she is surrounded by other PNM's who are prepared.

I can't help with SEC recruitment, but I noticed that you (OP) mentioned being from the Midwest. Is the University of Michigan on your radar at all? They are often more generous with scholarships for OOS applicants--one of my sisters had a full ride (and possibly a stipend), and she's from Ohio. Also, we have a thriving but not cutthroat Greek system and a highly ranked dance team (I knew a couple girls who were involved in both), and of course, the academics are almost unmatched, no matter what major she ends up choosing. It might be worth her while to look at U of M or a couple of other schools outside the SEC! :)

The difference between these two paragraphs is amazing.

Keep in mind that your daughter will now be going off to college, and many things will no longer be "us" and "we". She needs to make her own decisions. Don't be surprised if she counts on you less, shares less with you, and doesn't talk to you as much as she used to once she leaves for school. I understand that you're trying to help, but you also need to let her branch out and succeed or fail on her own.

This.

Do sororities really have parties during finals week?

No

Not, like, an official party, like, "OMG WE ARE ALL SO SICK OF STUDYING LETS GET ICE CREAM AND BE SILLY FOR AN HOUR".

OP: University of Alabama has an informative brochure

http://issuu.com/katgillan/docs/greek_chic_2012_final

Yeah, we did stuff like this all the time. It's not a "PARTY!!!!" it's a, "OMG if I don't pull my nose out of my notes I'm going to go crosseyed and crazy. Let's go get coffee!!!"

Nothing mandatory. It was more like study break ice cream socials or coffee and doughnuts from 7-9 pm at the house or a workout video for 30 minutes. It was a nice break if you chose to drag yourself away from your books for a few minutes to recharge.

If you are talking about Alabama which I think you might be since the out of state financial packages are so good then what everyone said about not being able to wing it and no do overs is true. She can research Alabama Greek life all she wants but there is really no way to completely understand what a huge part of life it is until you actually get here.

What can happen with girls from out of state who aren't prepared is they get really caught up in the excitement of recruitment once it starts and then they get dropped and it is devastating. You think you can take it but experiencing it in person is a really different thing. It will be very hard for her and you will feel horrible because she will be so far away and hurting.

It gets even worse if you end up having a hard time bonding with people in your activities like dance team or people in her dorm it is going to feel like everyone is in a sorority and that's the only way to have fun and she's going to feel very sad and left out. It can make for a very hard freshman year and make someone not want to come back.

So what I am saying is if there is any chance at all that she will want to join a sorority then she needs to put the work in before recruitment and start now. Sure a few out of state girls might get bids without any preparation but it sounds like your daughter is not the most socially smooth person and that will also work against her. It's not too late to work on that too.

Everything Old Row said is true. Even if Alabama is not the school your daughter will attend, what Old Row describes is factual at a lot of SEC schools. I know a ton of girls who have gone through recruitment at Alabama, Ole Miss, Auburn and UGA. (And others, but those are the main four). Most were out-of-state, and even though they were fully prepared, there were still disappointments as the week progressed. SEC recruitment is not for the faint-of-heart, but those who get their ducks in a row before rush, then approach with an open mind, do usually find their sorority home. I've only seen two PNMs try to execute the wing it plan. Neither outcome was good.

If your daughter only thinks she "might" want take part in recruitment, encourage her to prepare. Girls as diligent as what you describe usually take the bull by the horns and get their business done. Even though you said sorority life is something you would not pursue personally, I'm glad you support your daughter's possible interest. Sororities build strong women. Membership allows them to embrace something bigger than themselves and helps equip them for many of life's opportunities and challenges. While it's true that one can find that in other organizations, the lifelong sisterhood part is missing. I can't really explain that element of it to you, but whatever it is, it keeps a lot of alumnae interested and involved in the system decades after their undergrad years. And despite the stereotypes people have tried to saddle sororities with, the system has only gotten bigger and stronger. That speaks volumes IMHO.

Best wishes to your daughter!

Not a "party", but, yes, my pledge class had a midnight ice cream sundaes at a study session with the Sig Ep pledge class during mid-term exams.

If you are really from a "very conservative republican suburb" you should be able to find loads of recs. Between parents of my friends and girls who graduated a year or two ahead of me, I knew women from five different sororities. We're all frequently asked to write a rec for a girl going to an SEC school or help her find one from another chapter. If she wants to go Greek, it'll take just a little time to help her get recs which are essential to her success at an SEC school and couldn't hurt her at a Big10 school.

^^Good to see you, GP!! Hope life is treating you well!

Follow-up:
Re. rushing at SEC university
Thanks so much to everyone who provided words of advice about rushing at an SEC university. Taking into account your suggestions, as well as discussing the culture, the cost of going Greek at these universities, the requisite letters of recommendation and all the other preparation that go into Greek life at a SEC, my daughter decided to go to a Big Ten university instead. Distance from home as well as an incredibly generous scholarship offer from the Big Ten university also played into her choice.

My daughter did sorority rush this year as a sophomore. Her initial plan was to do dance team and sorority her freshman year and then hopefully add a research position her sophomore year. However, her scholarship package included a paid research position starting when she was a freshman, so she delayed rushing sorority to ensure she could keep up her grades.

I got a lot of grief over using the term "unique" for my daughter in this thread. She is highly gifted and those familiar with social, emotional, and personality traits of highly gifted individuals frequently discuss the unique challenges they face because they are different. People do not always like different and sometimes it can lead to being ostracized, as it seems people took offense to me calling her unique in this thread- even though it is commonly accepted highly gifted people are unique = different. I deliberately posted the wrong class rank in this thread to maintain a degree of anonymity until college apps, scholarship apps, dance team auditions, and sorority rush were completed. I think that when I posted this, she was still having some difficulties maturing and overcoming any of what some see as the more negative traits of being gifted.

She did continue to mature, as high school students do. She made NMF and US Presidential Scholar and had many full-ride and full-tuition+ scholarship offers. She accepted a full-ride scholarship offer from a Big Ten school that included tuition, room & board, study abroad scholarship, stipend for books, paid research position, and an additional small NMF scholarship for misc. expenses. They offer 6-8 of these scholarship packages to an incoming class of approx. 8,000 freshman. So, apparently the universities also felt that my daughter was unique. She completed her freshman year in pre-medical studies with a 4.0 GPA, Captain of dance team that competes at the collegiate level, and paid research job. This year she added sorority to her list of activities.

Of note is that my daughter did not obtain any letters of recommendation prior to rushing at this university as the Panhellenic Council advised it was not necessary. She faced the challenge of rushing as an out-of-state student and one who is rushing as a sophomore. However, I think her academic achievements, extra-curricular activities, physical fitness & looks balanced those negatives. She ended up with the maximum number of chapters on her list the third day of Rush and narrowed that down to her favorite two chapters for Preference Day and received a bid from one of her favorite chapters. BTW- she loves her sorority and really enjoys being busy ALL the time!

For those that expressed exasperation that my descriptions "did not add up":
Dance is the most important thing to my daughter as an extra-curricular. That is why she was not interested in doing all the work required of SEC Greek life involvement. Most recently, we discussed she might have to drop either dance or her sorority if the sorority she joined would not excuse for from meetings when she had dance practice. She told me she would drop the sorority if she had to chose between the two. She also told me that being physically fit was more important to her than sorority. Also something to keep in mind- dance offers some of the same social aspects that a sorority offers, although not to the same extent.

My daughter currently has five older dance friends in sororities at UA, Mississippi and South Carolina. I am sure there will be more, given the large size of her dance studio and all the people she knows in the dance world. If any of her younger dance friends plan to go to school in the south, I will be sure to refer them to this site for the wonderful advice you provide to PNMs. Again, thanks to those of you who showed true concern and well-meaning advice regarding the SEC sorority recruitment process. She realized that that environment was probably not a good fit for her. Thanks to your advice, my daughter made college choices that she is very happy with. ��