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I don't understand mess like that. If a date isn't working out, so be it. I'm not gonna get all butthurt because there's no chemistry. I hate when my friends come back with stories about "Man, that bitch was this-and-that! She was boring and made the date suck and said nothing would come of this!" I'm like "Why are y'all so damn mad? Was she the last single woman in the city? Get over it." |
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I know personally if the date looks like it is going to be bad, I make it a great date regardless. I had a date with a chick with no conversation and I said to myself I would never have an awkward moment like that again...so if I know it is going to be bad...I can at least have some fun. Not gonna see the person again. |
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- Negativity (talks about how much he hates his job, etc.)
- Is rude to the host/server - Doesn't tip enough (you can't always see the check, but a man who is stingy with tips is stingy with love) - Doesn't look you in the eye when he's talking - Expects you to carry the conversation |
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Catching someone in little lies.
Example: When we first spoke on the phone to arrange Date #1 (a week after meeting) you said you were an architect. While talking on Date #1, you now work in seasonal contruction. If you lie about what you do for a living, there's really no telling what else you will lie about. |
I'm surprised none of the women on here haven't mentioned:
If he picks me up in a minivan. (An especially crappy one to say the least) or If, when in conversation, he says "my wife" at any point. |
* REALLY believes in aliens and their colonies on Earth
* Has Social Anxiety disorder and does not like large groups of people * Puts the menu 2 inches from nose only to let you know he is visually impaired which was not previously disclosed. * Multiple workers compensations claims and no job. |
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Ewwwww! That is SO gross. I've never seen that before. However, I've seen guys with that white stuff in the corners of their mouth. Like, when they talk, it moves up and down, but never breaks apart. Ya know what I mean? I looks like mayonnaise. It's SO disgusting and it makes me gag. Yuck! Have you ever seen that, before? |
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;) Then instead of being judgmental and slamming the degree, open your mind and see what he's doing with his degree. The same as you would expect from a man who thinks your degree and line of work (and overall interests) sound like a ridiculous waste of time. As you probably know, there are people with philosophy degrees who make more than you may ever earn and that's because most majors and degree fields include a range of careers and jobs. Plus, you're most likely thinking of a B.A in philosophy--which isn't a total waste, either. But, I don't think in terms of college majors. I think in terms of masters, doctorates, juris doctorates, and so forth. People don't pursue those with the expectation to pontificate as to whether the customer wants their chicken fried or grilled. All in all, when it comes to dating and sustaining relationships, don't be that which you despise and give what you expect to get. :) |
I have to add, one of the smartest men I ever dated didn't have a degree yet when I was dating him (and he was in his late 30s then). He'd been career Army and had started his degree. When he retired from the Army, he went back and finished it up. He was articulate regarding a wide variety of subjects. However, that's what is more important to me. I need to be able to have real conversations about a variety of topics as well as someone who never stops learning. That man could kick my butt at Scrabble I tell ya.
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http://www.uncg.edu/phi/Revisions%20...osophy.html#_3 The fact is that in the modern economy, virtually no one can hack it just by holding a four year degree. This applies doubly so to those who hold degrees in the liberal arts. However, if you possess the traits that typically come with the attainment of a degree like that -- the abilities to quickly synthesize, interpret, communicate, and critically think -- then you're almost destined to make money anywhere. |
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As long as she's not needy, then I wouldn't really have a problem. I hate needy chicks.
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Neediness/clingy behavior.
Or any behavior that says to me that you might become needy/clingy down the road. Example: If we went out on a date, the date was over at 10:30, and I had like 15 texts and 3 voicemails from you by the time I get home at 11:15, I will assume that you are needy/a clinger and there won't be a date #2. |
Other things that tell me you might be a clinger and we don't need to go on any further dates:
*Getting upset if I don't return your calls right away. Example: if you call me while i'm at work, and I don't return your call until after 5, and the first words out of your mouth are "I called you three hours ago, why didn't you call me back?" (in a serious way and not being funny/sarcastic) there will be no more dates. *If you mutter any words such as "when we move in together..." or "when we have kids..." there will be no subsequent dates. *Requesting to be "In A Relationship" with me on FB when we have been on one date and maybe have known each other for a few weeks. *Getting defensive if we see someone I know while out and I say hi to them. Ex: I saw a HS classmate (guy) out while on a date and said hello to him. He is gay and was with his partner so he clearly wasn't hitting on me. We chatted for maybe a minute (I was even polite and introduced everyone), and once he was gone, Date said defensively "who was that guy?" I told him that I knew him from HS. Date asked "what if I talked to a girl I knew on a date?" I told him he was being ridic. He got out his phone and started texting girls. I ended that one early because he was just too clingy/passive aggressive for me to continue going out with him. |
What do you even say on a first date? That won't sound like a job interview? Advisable to go to a place where both of you will be distracted ei)movies, concert
or in a quieter place ei) park, museum? |
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Don't go on a date where you both be distracted. LOL. What's the point of a date if you are distracted? Go where you will both have fun with the atmosphere and with each other. |
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That one was pretty bad. To top it off, he called me like a week later. When I didn't pick up, he left me some long rambling message wondering why I hadn't returned his emails or answered the phone.
Ummm...if you actually have to ASK why I am no longer interested in you, I feel really badly for you. |
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On another note: Many many moons ago, I hung out with a dude ONE TIME and he began calling me ALL DAY. When I was in the office. When I was out shopping. I'm out to dinner and he's calling me every 5 minutes. It was the craziest thing I'd ever experienced. It pissed me off. And one time I decided to answer and he said "I didn't want nothing...I just have this crazy work schedule and I get bored." Well...ummm...pick up knitting or something. Needless to say, we never talked again. |
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Oh, and the dude who called all day would have been blocked (lol wait, they didn't have the cellphone block features that long ago), I can't stand having someone call me that many times a day. It's annoying. |
If you find yourself reading an e-mail that says, "I was going to call you, but I didn't think you'd answer," it may have been a bad first date.
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"You won't answer my call, but you will answer my e-mail." Yikes. |
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My job is not such that I can just talk during the day. So if you're calling me, it needs to be an emergency. "I just wanted to see what you were up to" isn't an emergency. It also annoys me because the whole "what are you doing?" thing makes ZERO sense. I'm WORKING, duh. |
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It's not that I can't necessarily take calls during the day, it's just that I don't want anyone getting comfortable calling me throughout the day while I'm working. |
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first date bad signs:
-she's the "hero" of every story she tells. -excessive tatoos. (ok, any tatoos at all. not a fan.) -excessive phone calls. Unless it's a family emergency, the world won't stop spinning if you don't answer your phone for two hours. |
-Texting, constantly looking at his phone, or having his phone on the table during dinner. I find this very rude even when my friends do it.
-Talking about sex -Being rude/mean to other people! Or trying to boss service people around like he owns them just because he's a customer. |
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Not only that, but (sweeping generalization here) many of the guys who do this are fat and sweaty and they need to change into a fresh shirt before a date anyway, regardless of what's on it. |
I would imagine that some of the guys who wear the software company logo shirts are trying to imply that they're wealthy (and work for an uber successful tech company like Microsoft, Google, or Apple). Tech guys love to show that shit off.
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