If someone says they can't babysit your children and you still bring them over at 7:30am on Sunday, OF COURSE they'll answer the door! Be persistent!

If you want to be taken seriously by fraternities at FAU, wear jorts and Affliction t-shirts. All the cool kids do it.

If you know you're going to be speeding, remove your license plates before you get in the car. The cops will ignore you and pull other people over.

private joke?

And always make sure you start your sentences with conjunctions.

Well...no, it's just that I was giving random incorrect advice/information. Cutaneous asthenia is just an abnormality of the connective tissue of the skin. It just causes really loose skin, and then it starts to sag, which makes it easy to tear. It doesn't have anything to do with abnormal urination.:)

Don't look both ways before crossing the street. It's a waste of time. Cars will always stop for you because you are you.

DNA needs proteins to read the information it contains and help run the cell. But the manufacture of proteins itself really doesn't necessarily depend on DNA, and that's because it contains the information about what order to stitch amino acids together.

Oh, and in living things as we see them now, the "other" nucleic acid never combines the properties of DNA and protein, and that's because it can actually preserve information in the order of bases in a linear molecule. lol

I love this thread. (This part is accurate) :p:p

Don't bathe ever. It's your natural smell. That's way better than Dove.

Patchouli is better than both of those, as well as Axe body spray!

Correction: Only bathe after spending the night with a guy. The water will prevent pregnancy. Unless you were on top, then you won't get pregnant anyway.

It's okay to eat raw meat all the time, it's natural and anything natural is best for you.

Go ahead and reply to the stranger claiming you are an heir to large sums of money and all you have to do is get a check from them for over the amount and send back the difference. It's totally legit.

No means yes. Especially on dates.

Oh and "gullible" really isn't in the dictionary, who knew??

If you like eating organic foods, you will love Organic Chemistry class.

Only black people are accepted into Historically Black Colleges and Universities because, you know, they are literally only for black people.

You must be a Negro (check your census form) to get a scholarship from the UNCF.

Wanna wear your Eli Manning jersey at Lincoln Financial Field? Go for it!

Cats really like having their feet massaged, so do it as often as you can. This applies to the big cats like lions and tigers as well.

Gorillas make great pets. You should also teach them to drink wine with you!

Run with scissors!

^^ That made me giggle. Then I remembered the pic I saw of the little boy who had run while holding a fork. Pic below (linked instead of posted so people who don't want to see it don't have to.)

Click at your own risk. (It's safe for work, but it'll make moms cringe.)

:eek:
Nightmares!

One of my cats actually loves it when we do that to her! No joke.

If you are ever tasked by your manager to do something at work and you really don't want to do it, just say "No!" or "Ugh, can you just do that yourself? I'm on FaceySpace." It shows that you a) can stand up for yourself and b) are way above that work they thought was appropriate to give you. Don't be surprised if a promotion and a raise both follow quickly.

If Domino's doesn't deliver your pizza in 45 minutes or less, you should call and threaten to kill the person who answers the phone. This will not only get your pizza there quicker but the next time you order, you will get a free pizza.

If you work in a lab and you are hungry but can't leave, lick the lab bench.

My cats let me rub their paws.


My advice...no need to get your pets fixed, Bob Barker isn't telling us to anymore, so it must not be important.

Ooooooooooowwwwwwwww!!

I mean...hey hey that was fun! If you have a weak stomach, click that one!!!

A guinea pig that rubs its butt on the ground has worms.

(What's the real reason they rub their butt?)



If you are lucky enough to receive an e-mail from Nigeria proposing a business partnership, make sure you send them all the required information, including your SSN# and birthdate. Conducting business in this manner is always a good idea.





(no really, don't. i was being facetious)

To mark their territory. Cats do it all the time when they rub their bodies against things, including their owner. Cats think they own their owner.:p

When the overworked teenager running Popeye's cash register gives you nickels instead of quarters in your change, don't calmly wait for the manager to pop his register to correct the error. Instead, pull out your illegal switchblade and threaten to "bleed him like a pig" in full view of the rest of the patrons.

True story. Enjoy your prison term, jackass.

If you always use the bathroom and never wash your hands BUT you are always sick (roommate!), it's obviously the tissue you used. Get unscented.

If the food you ordered at a chain restaurant isn't exactly the way you wanted it, call your waiter back, tell him that he must be an idiot for getting your order wrong and send it back to the kitchen. They won't do anything nasty to your food---promise!;)

Cats, not cat's. Cats is plural, cat's is possessive.

Sorry, huge pet peeve (apologize if grammar/spelling correction is YOUR pet peeve lol).

Ooops. I know...:o:o

and I did it twice.:o

Mange is always contagious from pet to pet.

Oh, and Mercury is much hotter than Venus since it's closer to the Sun. And speaking of the Sun, it's yellow.

cheerfulgreek barely has a fun or funny bone in her body.

It's ok for you to yell bomb in the airport. actually, you would be treated extra nicely if you run into an airport with a backpack and yell bomb.

You didn't think my DNA post was funny? I thought it was hilarious. Oh, and I just love freaking people out with information that sounds real to them. lol :p

I think I laugh at my own jokes, though.:(

<hijack>
I, for one, did not understand where you were going with the DNA joke... and I have my bachelors in biochemistry.

</hijack>

I was just saying that the manufacture of proteins doesn't always depend on DNA, when it actually does. It's just that proteins and DNA depend on each other. It's kinda like the "Chicken and the egg" puzzle.

And the other part was false, too.

No one got it.:(

eta: and what are you getting your PhD in?