WHATEVER! I do what I want!

Because you said this: I'm glad to hear that. Now we are getting somewhere.

I wasn't insulting your family or your background (I assume your perception of that was in a different thread). I just wanted to clue you in that, at SOME schools, connections do matter A LOT. My alma mater is not one of them. I am the first one to go Greek in my family. I did not know anyone Greek before I joined (rather, I did not know people I knew were Greek), and I did not have any recs. All I was trying to get across were that your grades/scores/activities will not be enough at certain schools if you don't have connections, or recs at least.

I truly do wish you the best of luck during recruitment. I hate the fact that at some schools, the average girl with a lot of desire to get involved in a chapter is unfairly disadvantaged because she doesn't know the right people.

Once you decide where you are going to school, I'd recommend registering with a new username and doing more reading than posting. There are some really great comprehensive threads on GC, and then you can ask more specific questions.

Re-routing to the young lady:rolleyes: originally at the heart of this cautionary tale. It's not out of the realm of possibly that her "colony" experience was ended for her with a polite "no thank you" making it possible for her to participate in informal recruitment in the same school year. I'm thinking that a parent who goes to the trouble of getting involved with the Greek life office over their daughter's recruitment/membership issues gets promoted from "heli" parent to ultimate nuclear submarine parent, pretty much eliminating the possiblity of their daughter getting a bid from anyone, anywhere.

A dictionary entry simply means a word is in usage - NOT that it is correct usage, as I point out to every student who tries to tell me "ain't" is in the dictionary. It is a shibboleth - thankfully, it helps weed out the uneducated.

Oh honey, she was just raised right. :)

That idiot keeps messing up "seams," "there," and "apart."

She/he can't possibly really be an AP student. Making mistakes once and a while is one thing. Making mistakes almost everytime you type means you're dumb and Greekdom would be better off without you.

You see, the problem isn't that you don't proof your grammar/spelling and/or punctuation. I am now saying this as a mom (I do that a lot I guess): The problem is that you aren't reading for content and how you come across. Truly, if you are in a recruitment party and your mind isn't in gear with your mouth you will say or do something unfortunate. And since I went through, as did my daughters, a VERY competitive recruitment system, thinking before writing or speaking is imperative.

My older daughter's recruitment came to a grinding halt (last party before Pref and she had to miss the first round because of class) when the Active who was rushing her started complaining about how much she HATED dating and parties. My daughter went into mental overdrive as to what she meant. She had her first thought and then said, "Oh, I know how hard it is to meet nice guys. My boyfriend has lots of good friends that I could introduce you to..." The girl then said, "No, I HATE dating and boys!:

Without a filter someone might say, "Are you gay?" (or something like an epithet). My daughter "knew" what the girl meant when Active began to fall apart. Daughter knew her recruitment was over, but she said, "I understand that relationships are difficult." Period, end. Get it? A filter and an edit button are importent companions.

SWTXBelle: Thank you.

Good job. Do not pretend as though the other stuff was just typos. You know better than that and so do we.

When you come HERE and wish to engage US in discourse, turn your brain on and proofread your posts if you cannot get it correct the first time around. Save the dumb stuff for your peers (whose parents and teachers need to keep in check).

As for your attempt at advice, you are just a (troll or a) child. If our attempt at saving you from dumb before it is too late bothers you, don't read our posts. Better yet, don't log on again.

Yes.

Oh, come on! No one else sees the irony here? "importent"?

You are correct. I did not edit: important. With all due apologies I have much on my mind today. But I knew it looked wrong and just couldn't focus on it. BUT, the sentiment is correct. Keep your mind and mouth in a synchronized and interfaced gear. (Although in verbal communication spelling isn't the main issue.)

Geez- there must be something in the water here! Maybe it's the cold? Maybe Midwestern kindness has become entitlement?

I feel so bad for all the people who are going to have to deal with this little freshnan next year.

And I got a 32 on my ACT. And a 2200 on my SAT... So there. Nanny. Nanny. Boo. Boo.

:)

(You and I both know it's Scrubs that teaches you how to really be a Dr! :D)

She reminds me so much of my little sister (bio). Even at 28, there are times when you just can't reason with her. I think it's a lack of logic skills. At some point, with this girl, it has to be a lack of reading comprehension as well. I don't think we can say this stuff any other way...it's been sugar coated, stated bluntly, spelled out in infinite detail and even blasted with the "tough love" method by at least 6 different people. But!! We all just want her to not get the house she wants. Wow! It's so much fun running these great Greek conspiracies!

Totally.

Beautifully put, ellebud.

Here is a suggestion for RCB:

Go out and do some service work. Volunteer at a local food bank, a soup kitchen, a church that provides assistance to the homeless, a shelter for children who have been abused by their parents, a hospital pediatric ward for cancer patients, a nursing home. The list of meaningful volunteer opportunities is endless.

Do this for 12 weeks, consecutive, same time, same day. You've already taken your entrance exams, been admitted to college, you're just wrapping up the last few weeks of high school. You have time.

Here's the catch: you do not get to tell anyone what you are doing, other than your parents. No bragging, no tooting your own horn; it's not truly service work if you're advertising how wonderful you are while doing it. You simply go give back to your community, and the world, a little of what has been given to you.

Then, please come back and talk with us about what is truly important. I am willing to wager that you are going to be a completely different person and have a totally fresh perspective on the idea of becoming a member of a greek organization. And I predict that you're going to be a lot happier.

If not, you will be the first lost cause I've ever encountered. But I am betting that you won't let yourself, or us, down.

Great idea, Maria! Of all the advice given, I think your's would help her and most of the women seeking recruitment advice here on GC than a lot of the pleading about open mindedness, talk of lifetime commitment and sisterhood will.

I didn't want to point out a typo in an otherwise eloquent post from a normally coherent poster.

Excuses, excuses, excuses....

You can edit the posts that you quote. ;) It's a more subtle way of making the correction.

I already had.... haha I just felt like this was a battle-picking thread if ever there was one.

Obviously, she does not respect our authoritah.

(just had to go South Park on someone)

Again, I'm sorry. I usually look for spelling errors. As one gets older one tends to mess up with spelling. And when I am going to the "special" doctor the next day, I am in a tizzy.

ellebud, I would like to have your original post saved, because the message is so powerful. The thread got off track, but I think it would be useful to point PNMs to your post as recruitment draws closer and closer.

Spellcheck is useless, it turned Sincerely into Sensuously in a letter that my stepson wrote & bless his heart, he didn't know enough to know the implications. And don't even get me started on text prediction. It just turned Dubya into Ruby's in a text I sent, rendering the text completely nonsensical.

Oh, so true!

Words fail me. How much therapy is that poor boy going to need?

First of all, I am honored. If we can help even a single girl (or boy) going through recruitment, I am delighted. And sensously speaking: I am hysterical!!!!

There once was a man named Oedipus Rex, you may have heard about his odd complex. His name appears in Freud's index.

HE LOVED HIS MOTHER!

I <3 Tom Lehrer.

Ellebud, spellcheck or not, I always look forward to what you have to say.

And I hope that your visit with the "special" doctor goes well tomorrow.

I am now decompressing: I'm good for the next four months! And thank you so much for your kind words.

This one is for you Tiny Dancer!
 

Thank you! I may have authoritah, but I don't know how to do pictures.

It's cool, the authoritah is all your's!

I have one word WOW! I found this whole thread like a train wreck. I had to keep reading to see what she would say next. In my humble opinion, this is what is so wrong with young women going through recruitment today. (I'm speaking about a generation not necessarily this young women). Some of these girls feel entitled and don't think they have to work for a bid. There are 100's of women going through recruitment that have impressive GPA's (we don't care about your SAT score or your ACT score), beautiful, accomplished women with tons of activities and community service. When all things are created equal you start to look at other things. I'm sure that there are beautiful accomplished women who are dropped from houses during every recruitment and sometimes we drop them by mistake because we are human and tired and drop number 152 instead of 153. The point is you may think your the best thing since sliced bread, but the sororities may not OR they could think your the best and their "rush crush". They will make decisions based on first impressions and quick conversations. Sometimes we make the wrong decision and sometimes we don't. Recruitment is a mutual selection process and just because you think you fit some where doesn't mean the Sorority thinks you fit there. Research your specific school, ask a lot of questions and don't look to TV as a way to do research- a lot of people who are in the entertainment industry are not greek. Good luck to you. I hope you have the perfect recruitment. A word of caution though even the girls who are smart, popular and involved in high school have a less then perfect recruitments. Just ask my niece who was 4.0, Dance Team Captain for 4 years in HS, wealthy, blond and beautiful and would be the person I would pick for a life time friend. She was dropped from all the "top tier" or "popular" houses going into pref. Pledged a mid tier house after tons of tears and phone calls to me. Her beautiful sister followed 2 years later with the perfect recruitment pledged the same chapter and guess what?, the house is now a top tier house on campus.

I don't see how you can say this, when this seems to be the exact opposite of the advice we give when someone receives her lower choice chapter. It is quite rare that with the right effort, most PNMs can fit into and be happy/flourish with the bid that they are given.

There's a difference though. If you're not being yourself throughout recruitment to 'fake it' into the group of your dreams, then you're more likely to be unhappy than if you are yourself and get into a group that wants you for you. If you're not being yourself, even a positive, perky, social version of yourself, you'll probably find that you don't actually fit in.