I'm not a member of this sorority, so I'm not at risk of giving away any membership secrets. My guess is although you technically COULD pledge, it probably won't happen. There's just a level of weird that the girls just wouldn't dig. Isn't this the kind of joke done in bad movies about the bad house on campus? Besides, presuming you are actually raising this child, you don't have the time to commit to a sorority. If you have friends in the chapter, hopefully you can continue attending the occasional event.

I would say you've made your lifelong commitment... to your child... and your desire to be a sorority girl unfortunately went out the window.

Best of luck to you!

You should have left this to the Deltas or members of NPHC sororities to answer since they can answer from experience. There are plenty of women in our organizations with children, both on the undergrad and grad levels. Having a child in undergrad is not "weird" today like it once was many years ago and since our membership is for life and extends beyond college, many active alumnae members (who run these organizations) have children of course and are married. And yes, we do it all. We are extraordinary women. Some women can't hold down a career, household, marriage, school, and be leaders in their communities and in their organizations but we can and do just that. This is what sets us a part.

So if the poster is extraordinary (extra ordinary), she certainly could do it all if extended membership.

Another unobservant newbie.

I feel the same way about this thread I used to feel about Everybody Loves Raymond. This is still on?

Been away for quite a long time, living life and doing me but.....

Precious Diva 88, here is my very humble opinion. I too was a 'hopeful' and didn't make grad chapter. I am married with 2 kids. Trust when I say, the lifelong commitment of being a member should never conflict with your priority to take care of your child.

I ask you, first, who is caring for your child when you are at all these events trying to make yourself known?

Second, if you are granted this wish, who will care for your child when you are in the process?

Third, who will keep your child if you become a neophyte and are busy running around to your committee meetings and all? As an outsider looking in, a committed member COULD be out of the home in the evenings atleast 2-3 times a week before AND after becoming a member.

In the chapters in MY neck of the woods, providing childcare for members, who are working in the name of Delta, has definitely not seemed to be a priority.

If it is sisterhood you are craving, like most mommies do, reconnect with other mother-friends and make yourself content. Being away from your son during his formative years, is not worth the sacrifice. I have witnessed women who left thier kids home alone to go off and handle business for the organization, and no one ever seemed to care that these women were mothers. No one ever asked, 'Hey, I know you are single, where are the kids?' All that mattered was accomplishing the business of the chapter.

Delta will have been around for 100 years in 2013. You have made it with out the organization this long AND THEY HAVE MADE IT WITHOUT YOU; consider that you can wait until after your child is out of the house and is self sufficient.

Good Luck and be a mother first.

^^^ Interesting response. Over half of our last line (alumnae) had babies or toddlers during the process. Some were single parents. Interestingly enough they shared sitters, etc. Now they are active in the chapter and no one seems to be neglecting their children.

I have always been very active in Delta even after my daughter was born. I was single. She seems to have turned out pretty good. Oh and yeah she is now a MBA and an active Delta.

As you said, you are on the outside looking in. Many members have children and being active in the sorority does not cause them to neglect their children. Everyone has different schedules and committments so the amount of time that can be devoted to the sorority is different for each individual. There is no set time requirement for members. If you have small children (neo or not), many would not volunteer to run around and be at events 2-3 times a week; the same is true for others that are very busy with other top priorities like starting their own business. Also, there are many ways to contribute to your chapter/sorority that will not cause you to be away from home too often; such as mailing/e-mailing letters or invites, maintaining the chapter website, working on the chapter newsletter, submitting articles to the sorority magazine, calling shut in and elderly sorors, etc. etc. etc.

Of course if you are single and don't have any children or have older children, you will be able to do more but everyone that is truly committed contributes in some way and what they are able to do varies at different times in their lives due to different life changes and events. One does not have to wait until their children are grown and out of the house to join...LOL! Don't we make time for other things, time for ourselves (which mommies definitely need), even though we have children? Working for and enjoying the sorority is fulfilling for many. Many mothers and wives cherish this time and some even consider this a part of their "me" time, which we all need. No one asks anyone to devote all or even most of their time to the sorority; that would be absurd and unrealistic for most. Those who do that are choosing to do that. If members are neglecting their children for the sorority, they should reevaluate their priorities and put them in order. It is absolutely possible to do it all and not neglect anyone or anything in your life that is important.

I am not a mother (Thank God!), but here's my 22 cents
 

Sorority business is like any other business - except it's done from the heart. When you go to your workplace, no one's going to ask you each day about your childcare because most normal people know how to handle their personal business in addition to the business at hand. The same holds true in a sorority, church auxillary, etc. Each woman knows how much of themselves they will give to their priorities, but I don't know mothers that completely abandon their children in the name of XYZ, and no one would ask that.

I 100% agree with SoRHOr rhoyaltempest above. It's all about choices and prioritizing. I've actually seen a baby or two in chapter meetings and committee meetings in the past. No one blinks an eye at a mother balancing her family and sorority.

More choices. We had an interest who made herself known to sorors by attending one of our biggest programs with her daughter. It was an event especially for kids, so it was perfect. She's now a chapter officer. I believe every D9 sorority has at least one event like that. It is not impossible for a mother to manage her time properly while pursuing a sorority and then becoming involved as a member.

:)

We also know there are (college age and nontraditional student) undergraduate men and women with children (married and unmarried) who are initiated into NPHC orgs.

When there aren't policies prohibiting these types of things, that means it is up to the chapters and individuals involved.

Exactly

While I agree with your ultimate conclusion, and even the questions that one should ask themselves, I disagree with your ASSumptions. You have NO IDEA what types of arrangements are being made. Everyone must assign their own priorities based on their unique situation.

:eek:I'm I wrong to ask non members of Delta and NPHC not to give their opinions..is it wrong? I just wanna know:rolleyes:

LMAOOOOO

I missed this.

nope. you wouldn't be.

Nope. Membership has its privileges.

Its the internet. Opinions run rampant, no matter the source.:D:cool::p;):D:cool::p;)

Well they shouldn't when you are not the recipient of the question and know nothing about the workings of the orgs to which the subject pertains.

Let me do you a favor by telling you this one thing--and remember, unlike you, I have a clue---

Better yet Spin, let me spell things out for you so that you have an rampant opinion--even on the internet!
S= speaking out of turn when nobody asked you too.
H= having the need to type when you're clueless about the situation
U= understanding that this has nothing to do with you
T= typing without thinking

U= undulating constant nonsense and thinking you're right
P= posing as someone with sense whose about to be embarrassed

What's this all spell--do yourself a favor and Shut Up now because you're embarrassing yourself.

wow. just because its the internet folks feel that they can forget about deference and respect. :rolleyes:

i hope u never become a Delta just for that.

ETA

lol!! you kill me. and it rhymes too. i didn't refresh when i came to this message; had i seen that you already did all that i'd have kept my unnecessary two cents. lmao

Will it be a bad look for me trying to pledge and i have a baby?

That is the question. The thread barely addressed the question until I offered my observations and opinions about childcare and the commitments of pursuing membership. Until that point, all that was said was a bunch of back and forth that had nothing to do with the child in the original question.

But perhaps, the short answer I could give, is for the area I am in, having a child is NOT a bad look, because to the women I dealt with, the child was a non-entity. Issues related to children were considered an excuse that needed to be worked out.

Deference, I know what it means, but on this, there was no real discussion to defer an opinion to, since the issue of the child was not addressed.

I have no counter opinion to those who thought I should not have said anything at all, so you can say I have exercised 'deference'. I was not speaking to you; I was speaking to the originator of the thread. I told her the same thing I would tell an aspirant in 'real' life.

That. Is. All.

Wow, real Script's Howard material. Excellent.

Go for it!
 

PreciousDiva88-

I've have never read anything that says having a child barred a person from becoming a member of DST. As long as you fulfill the academic and community service requirements, I would encourage you to pursue your goal. Good luck!

This is funny coming from someone who doesn't know what Delta Week is and came here to find out basic application information. If you have read so much about Delta, why do you not know the answers to your questions?

DrPhil---why so hostile?

Clueless aspirants should never give advice. Wish other aspirants good luck and work toward figuring out the answers to your own questions.

Never claimed to be an expert in my response and won't apologize for encouraging someone to pursue their dreams.

Another eternal aspirant.

Your negativity is my motivation. Thanks.

When you make it, please come back to GC with the same screen name and let us know. :)

You'd be the first.

If you think that was hostility and negativity, then you will be highly motivated during your pursuit. :cool:

Oh, and one thing Delta seeks is a person with good leadership qualities. And a good leader knows when to stay in her lane.

Can I please lock this thread? It hurts my head from reading it :(

Not yet. Spin might have more sage advice to give. After all she is the only one that addressed the real topic, which means we could learn a thing or two from her about how to use our own message board :D

props to you all cuz i can't with these rude ass girls. :rolleyes:

ladygreek: I think we addressed the topic...whatever it is. :p

dreamseeker: I don't think these aspirants are trying to be rude. They were just born into the Internet/instant gratification generation.

I just wanted to re-introduce myself to some on this thread that felt/said that I was an eternal aspirant. Please address me henceforth as Soror! I crossed the burning sands earlier this evening. OO-OOP!

we'll hold off on congrats until we see ur info in the introduction thread. and even if you did cross....Deltas are not obligated to address u as their soror. just sayin.

Wow, I am soooo happy for you. The tears just won't quit falling. Hysterical laughter will do that to you. But if by some small chance it is true, I will not address you a soror (which is not capitalized in the context you are using) until you act like one. Don't know what that means? Go read your newly attained documents.