Husbands rarely can take that initiative with their own families in my experience! I'm so lucky....I NEVER see my in-laws!!! Don't ask...it's too long of a story. I just count my blessings!

When my husband is hungry, he will make SURE that he is fed. We probably would have left. But, in my experience, most mothers of all backgrounds be it Italian, Portuguese, Persian or..... won't let you sit down without offering something. Shame on them. Even if your DIL wasn't your 100th pick, civility is the watchword of the day.

And since I am much closer, hopefully, to becoming a MIL than most on this board I will remember these words and my experience(s) and never repeat them.

And anyone would be a lucky woman to have you as an MIL!:D

Honestly, I don't know why he didn't say anything, or go fix something.

This is the family who, when we were out at dinner and we told them we were expecting, they sat there until LONG after the meal was over until Joel got up to pay.

Another time, around my and my MIL's birthdays (they're about 10 days apart), we went down to see her and went out to a local restaurant and a friend of hers asked if we were treating her for her birthday, she got a nasty snarl on her face and told her no. After the friend left, we told her that we were, indeed, intending on paying for her meal as a birthday treat. She just said "ok" with no remorse or apology in word, action or tone for her earlier reaction to her friend's question.

She doesn't seem to have the common sense or decency that God gave grass.

AOIIAngel: Thank you.

Winnibug: Just to let you know that you are/were not alone. When we told my inlaws that we were pregnant their response was, "Oh, a grandkike....." Lovely. And we have paid for many a dinner sans thank you. Perhaps you ordered a side dish (for an extra few dollars) and they were afraid that they would be stuck with the bill. Or perhaps even a drink.....

Ha!

Please tell me that we're not only couple who got IL shafting on gifts at the holidays? Apparently DH and I are the only people I know who get a shittastic couple gift of a gc to Lowes (really this is for DH) from the IL's.

Even my parents who had bought us a joint gift earlier, still gave us separate little things.

Oh and I'm never again actually putting thought into a gift for my IL's.

So, when my in laws sold their big house (and it was, at 10,000 square feet) and they began giving out stuff that they didn't "need" who got the Steuben (SIL because she already had a collection from her family), the antiques (SIL because she came from wealth, although BIL has only made a living through my inlaws), the fine paintings (yes, we do have a minor collection, but it would have been nice to have shared) and the whole living room set and the lalique? ...not us. Although we paid for half the moving expenses (because we were getting an antique rug that was too big for the IL's home) who got the leather sofas that my son, about to move into his first apartment, really could have used?.....the gardner. (And yes, we paid half to move lots of stuff to the gardner's home.)

...so for the holidays we bought them: liquor...only because we had to spend 4 hours with them.:)....what did they get us?....you won't be surprised....BIL and SIL?...a built in outdoor kitchen.

My dad always gets us separate (yet related) gifts. For example, in 2008 my dad got me a set of steak knives, and live-in a gift card to Omaha Steaks. Separate gifts, to be used together, related to one another.

This won't make you feel better, but my relationship with his mom is getting very much better. We had a great Christmas, save for his brother acting like a complete weirdo and his even weirder girlfriend acting like a space cadet.

After this Christmas, I'm seriously considering not putting thought into a gift for anyone, or skipping this altogether. The family members who complain the most about not getting Thank You cards failed to even acknowledge receipt of presents. I received a kids' Dora the Explorer pajama set. It's not WHAT I received, it was the fact that no one whatsoever (with the exception of my sister and her kids, and one of my uncles) put any thought into what to give at all. It was as if they were just crossing names off of a list. I'd just rather not get a gift than a crappy gift that you just got because you "needed" to get me something.

I so agree with you. If someone feels obligated for their own well being a gift card is the way to go. They sell them everywhere and unless one purchases for a restaurant that doesn't exist in the area of the gift recipient most goods can be purchased via the internet.

We got a cheap video game from my in-laws. Nothing more. We spent $350 getting them new kitchen items and we got jack shit. Grandma-in-law spent more by giving us each $10.

At least my family got us decent presents.

I've been married for 7 years and with my husband for 9 years. In all that time, we have never received Christmas gifts from anyone in his family except for one year from his sister. Every year we give a large gift of money to his sister (though I've never heard thank you.) I guess my present is that I never have to see them. :)

I wish I hated spending time with my in-laws. I just hate how cheap they are. Its not like they don't have any money.

I'm pretty sure my IL's were only behaving b/c my parents were there since they came down to us this year.

At least my mom one-upped MIL by bringing them some coffee and home made bread.

I'm positive venting -

This weekend, my daughter in law came to stay with us (without my son - first time alone with us) to attend a wedding shower in our city. It was such a wonderful weekend!

We all went to dinner Friday night (hubby, son home from college, sr son, DIL and I), she was totally comfortable, just like she'd been part of the family forever. Then Saturday, I got her all to myself! We went to a movie (a girl movie with no guns going off - Yippee!), then shopping for the shower gift, then we actually went window shopping, which I NEVER do. It was a "girl day", and for a mom of all boys, something I have missed out on. Saturday night, we made dinner together for the fam, and drank a couple of bottles of wine :eek: and by the end of the night, she and I were sharing a blanket and laughing hysterically at nothing (probably wine induced). I finally had to give her up on Sunday when she went to stay with the girl giving the shower. We both cried when we hugged good bye.

I am so blessed to have that kind of relationship with my daughter in law, I'm just going to call her my daughter from now on. :)

Good for you! I guess everyone should try to have that kind of a relationship with their in-laws. I think my sister-in-law (brother's wife) has a pretty good relationship with all of us, then again we're just grateful that she married him! :p

As well you should! What a wonderful relationship!

The byproduct is that she will she the positive aspects of having a wonderful mother-in-law and no doubt she will remember that when she is the MIL. I personally have been taking notes from my sainted mother-in-law. She is fabulous and I hope to one day have the same relationship with my son's wife. (he's only 3, but still....)

Oh Lord! The first time I visited my FIL, we all sat the entire weekend on the couch without speaking. My family is loud and boisterous. We always have the TV running. At my FIL's, they don't even have CABLE! If you aren't going to talk to me, at least entertain me! The next time, I knew to bring a book!

The only time my FIL (who remarried and has a new son) calls my husband is to get medical advice about his new kid. He doesn't call to ask my husband how he is, to wish him happy birthday or happy holidays. Nope... my husband is a medical resource only.

This is beautiful. :D

Christmas with the Cranks
 

I finally have time to share the story of our first Christmas @ my FIL's... He is remarried so thankfully I didn't have to deal with my batshit crazy MIL... HOWEVER, my FIL's new wife is a different kind of crazy. LUCKY me :rolleyes:Although we LOVE my FIL we typically visit when we know his wife will be @ work b/c neither of us can stand her.

Everything was going great and I say to the step-MIL "Oh hey the corn casserole is good, (even though I know her niece made it, she had to brag that it was HER recipe) I've never had it with sour cream. Her reply is an eye roll and a snort! WOW ok.... Then after dinner my hubby is moving to another table to sit and chat with his brother, who recently had a stroke and is having difficulty holding his fork steady, and she insists that she pull out the table so he won't have to squeeze past the wall to fit. He actually had to raise his voice and say NO PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING AND THAT IS RUDE!. Then as we're all sitting around having desert and my FIL is sharing a piece of cake w/my toddler she comes up to him to ask why she just got off the phone with her (insert random family member here) who says he told them NOT to bring by the chocolate cake she asked her to make for them... He replies nonchalantly with well she had ppl over so I told her to stay with her company as I had already bought a chocolate cheesecake anyway. She says oh so it was a miscommunication? He says rather annoyed No it wasn't I told her not to come. she asks well why b/c I asked her to make that cake and you made like we didn't want it... He says I don't give a rats ass, who cares? She yells (directly over my head now) Well you should give a rats ass cuz it's RUDE!!! And storms into their bedroom and slams the door... WTF who does that with company in the same room? so everybody is like Well time to go! lol (Imagine the scene in The Color Purple where Squeaky slaps Sophia):D

My maybe-nephew was born Tuesday night.
His maybe-daddy hasn't even been to see him or called his ex-girlfriend.
My MIL is mad b/c I've been in contact with the mama.

Oh, Jerry Springer with your DNA tests, where are you when we need you?

I thought about posting this in the wedding thread but it's too hilarious & I'm sure it will bring back memories from some GC posters regarding their own mother-in-law.

Future mother-in-law send bride nasty email. Guess what? Email was made public. LOL!


Your thoughts? Forgivable? Was the mother-in-law justified in sending that email? Should she have just talked it out with the bride-to-be in person? LOL! Should the email have been made public?

She's a real-life Hyacinth Bucket!

I saw that story this morning and figured that it was the reason for this bump...

I think they're both tacky. Future MIL for even sending the email AND future DIL for both contents of the email (assuming the MIL isn't exaggerating) and forwarding to het friends.

Oh, the irony. The first rule of etiquette is that it is never, never appropriate to criticize the manners (or lack thereof) of others, especially of your guests. While future DIL may have deserved it all (who knows), all future MIL did was show that she, too, has no manners.

www.etiquettehell.com Awesome horror stories of how rude people really are.

I know this woman. If my mil were literate, it is exactly what she would have written to me...32 years ago. Now, she is old, frail and alone. Her life, consumed with social climbing has left her without friends and certainly without my family.

I sense that I am will become a mil (x3) in the next two or three years. I really like/love these kids. And whatever my mil did (and fil) did, I will do the opposite.

And my topper of topper: (See if any of you can beat this one): My mil told me that when I got cancer my fil said, "Good. Maybe now we can get rid of her!"

:eek: Pure Evil!

Thankfully, I got lucky in the in-laws sweepstakes, but I can't even FATHOM someone saying that. :eek: Seriously, horrified.

No, that would be my MIL.

My MIL didn't even wait for me to get cancer (which I don't have, thank God) - last year she told my husband to divorce me.

In both cases, pure evil.

They were talking about that article on the radio this morning. The general consensus was that the future MIL should have brought *some* of the issues to her SON and had him handle it. While some of her points were undoubtedly valid and probably had to be dealt with if they were going to ever be guests in that home, an email to the future dil is the wrong way to go about managing the conflict. The DJs thought that future dil should have forwarded it to her fiance, cc'ing the mother with a note "Please handle this."

The snipe about her parents' not being able to pay for the wedding was completely unjustified. What a snitch.

My fil was "smarter". He offered me $50,000 not to marry my husband.

Yes, evil.

Doesn't match up with you all, but live-in's mom is back to being crazy. I've been posting on fb about all the crazy going on, and she's trying to play up the "I feel like something might be wrong" with live-in - trying to get him to call.

Has absolutely nothing to do with her having me on facebook lowjack, my ass.

I absolutely love my MIL (and she loves me :D), but she lives 3000 miles away. I could take or leave my FIL...nothing "wrong" with him, he's just the kind of guy that can't give you a straight answer to a question. I could ask a question about his chickens (he's a farmer, among other things) and he ends up talking about the stars. At first I thought my Spanish might just be that terrible, but my sister in law confirmed that it's not me, it's him. My dad also told me that when they shared a hotel room, he slept not only with all of his clothes on, but also his shoes and coat and ON TOP OF the covers.:confused:

This past weekend, my MIL introducted my SIL (who is also her DIL, as she only has 2 sons) as her daughter. The person she introduced her to said "Oh, I didn't know you had a daughter, too!" In response, my MIL said "Well, she's really my DIL, but that's only a technicality. She's really my daughter now." She then went on to introduce me as her son's "friend". Even though I've been married to him for years.

Wow. There are no words. What did you respond with? Did you correct her?