I don't really like how some women put such a heavy emphasis on natural childbirth...even going so far as to make women feel as if any other route makes you less of a woman and less of a mom. I personally have no need to be a hero and IF I ever have kids, I would prefer a C-section.

Momzillas (you know, women whose entire lives are centered around parenting and criticizing how other people parent) love to make other women feel like they're less of a mom for alot of things, including:

*not having drug-free childbirth
*having a c-section
*delivering in a hospital as opposed to at home or in some sort of natural birthing center
*admitting that childbirth hurt really badly and was not a "wonderful beautiful experience"
*not breastfeeding (even if due to a medical reason)
*putting your baby to sleep in a crib instead of with you in your own bed
*buying baby food from the store (not making it yourself from organic veggies)
*going places with your hubby and not sitting at home with kids all day
*having like 2 kids and and getting your tubes tied because you don't want any more (for whatever reason)



I have met some Momzillas when I worked with kids at a daycare, and I always wanted to tell them to get a life.

I will say upfront that I had two completely medicated childbirths (Yay epidurals!) and I am very happy with how their births and recovery (and my recovery) went. I will definitely say even though my second child was very large, the recovery was actually easier than with my first.

However, there is some merit for having a drug-free birth. Everything I've read, and the friends I've talked to who have had a natural childbirth, say their baby is more awake and alert right after delivery, responds to nursing right away better and the recovery was much less painful than if they had a previous medicated birth.

As far as Cesareans go, I think a lot of people don't realize that is Major Surgery. Recovery time is increased and the recovery itself is often more difficult than a vaginal birth. Many OBs will not do elective Cesareans unless medically necessary. And having a c/s doesn't guarantee a painless birth - unless it's an emergency and you're knocked out.

As with anything in life, you have to do the research and decide for yourself what's best for you and your family. I get annoyed with the holier-than-thou moms, too, even though I am friends with some. I just choose not to let it affect me. I own my birthing and parenting skills and they can screw it if they don't approve.

Great post!!! And I will definitely do the research if I ever decide to have children.

Best wall post of from that Facebook group today:

There *is* a medium between completely natural and a c-section. A c-section is very painful after the fact because it is major abdominal surgery. Your activities are more restricted afterward. You can have a vaginal delivery with an epidural. I had my kids at a very small hospital who didn't have anesthesia support for epidurals so with my daughter, I had morphine. It was supposed to "take the edge off", but it just made me groggy. An epidural doesn't make the mom groggy. With my son, I got to the hospital too late to have anything so it was completely natural, but not by choice. If I'd had the option, I'd have gotten an epidural and I highly recommend it to anybody!

preciousjeni: You won't hate the baby, it's your HUSBAND you'll get mad at

If you just have an epidural it doesn't affect the child because the drugs aren't in your bloodstream, but in your epidural space. It's a type of nerve block, and while I don't understand the biology myself well enough to explain it, I had two separate individuals, an anesthesiologist and a neonatologist, explain to me that it was different, didn't have an affect on the baby, and that women who refused epidurals for that reason were (in their opinions) dumb.

lol

I went 12 hours without an epidural for my first labour. Finally had one (OH THANK YOU GOD FOR THE GIFT OF ANESTHESIA) and baby #1 was born about an hour and a half later.
Number #2 - no drugs, nursed her on the delivery table. Numbers 3 and 4 had to be induced - they were going to be HUGE (as it was, #3 was 9 lbs. 2 oz, #4 was 8 lbs. 8 oz.) Thank God I had #3 in the hospital - despite the fact that #2 was smooth, #3 caused massive (as in I lost 4 pints of blood) hemorrhaging. I shudder to think what could have happened had I tried a home birth.
Despite all the differences in their deliveries, the important thing is they are all healthy, intelligent children. My epidurals were perfect - I could still feel contractions, but didn't feel like the pain was going to rip my body in two. Seeing my sister-in-law right after her c-section shaking so violently that the hospital bed was rattling, and hearing of her recovery, made me even more grateful than I had been that I did not have a c-section. I can't imagine doing that electively.
My point? Every delivery is different, as each and every child. I support every woman in her right to her own decisions regarding childbirth and rearing provided they are made with the child's best interests in mind. I have a real problem with self-indulgent mothers who base their decisions on what is going to make THEM feel "better". There is no third grader whose best interests are served by continuing to nurse.

That may be true (and oh my GOD I loved my epidurals!) but there are other options to pain relief that may have an effect on the baby. Some smaller hospitals don't have an anesthesiologist on staff and can't give epidurals. They can only offer narcotics through the IV - nubain, stadol, morphine, etc...

There is also always some small risk with an epidural, too. But that goes back to researching and the level of risk you accept with the choice you make. I will probably have an epidural for any more kids I have - I know my body and my pain tolerance is low (and if my kids keep going the way they are, my next one will come out the size of a toddler). And I will share my experiences with people who ask.

I was watching a woman give birth on one of those health channels and she had an epidural. She couldn't walk for two months afterwards and it was because of the epidural. She was temporarily paralyzed from the waist down. I don't know how often that happens, but it was enough to frighten me.

What was it that caused her to shake like that?

The crazy momzillas give moms a bad name IMO. If I ever have kids i want to try vaginal birth with an epidural but if that ain't workin'....bring on the c-section. I was a big baby, my fiance was a big baby and we WILL have a newborn the size of a toddler. (I was 10 lbs he was almost 9. I was 24 inches he was 22. I'm 5'7" now and he is 6'5".) I don't want a c-section just to get out of delivery but honestly if my baby is showing signs of distress or I am showing signs of distress let's go with the plan that saves us both! It doesn't make me less of a woman to go that route. Same thing with breast feeding. I'm not planning on it. I was a formula baby and was an insanely healthly kid. My mom said she was freaked out by how infrequently I was sick. It doesn't send me straight to hell to do the same thing to my child.

Reaction to the anesthesia. Plus it is COLD in those delivery rooms.

Your best option may be what I did for my two boys - induce early to avoid having to pop out a toddler. As for breastfeeding - I'd recommend giving it a try before making up your mind. It is SO much less expensive, helps YOU get back in shape, and is very convenient. Just cover up, and don't post pictures on Facebook! :rolleyes:

Great post!!! :) I was a formula baby as well and I was also very healthy.

That's awful!

Momzillas... Hehe... :p

Is that like Bridezillas?

The irony is, you do all this "special chit" for your child and your kid still winds up a serial killer, cannibal, crack addicted teenage pregnancy freak... So you did all that for what reason?

I say, let your kid live and learn some things as kids... But, since I don't having any, what can I say? LOL ;)

Or like Major Payne says, "why don't you pop your tittay out his mouth and let him grow up and be a man"... "I don't call this nurturing, I call it neutering..."

lol....I would never put a pic of that on Facebook. Like I said, I may change my mind on breast feeding by the time I get to that point. Having a baby may make me all ooey and gooey and girlie. But if I don't, at least I know that my kid will still turn out ok.

That's sounds like an allergic reaction and by letting her go thru that sounds like negligence.

Oh, no, it happens with both kinds of births. My hospital has a special blanket warmer just for laboring and new moms but the cold seems to come from within. Sometimes you start shivering horribly within a few weeks of birth due to the rapid weight loss.

Before my first child was born, I had a terrible fear of needles and really wanted to deliver naturally because of all the epidural stories I'd heard. When I got to the transition part of labor, though, I could not get an epidural fast enough and in the rest of my deliveries, I made sure to ask for it at about 4 cm. Maybe some people don't have agonizing labors. I did.

Fun fact - while labouring for #1, the anesthesiologist came by to ask if I wanted anything. I said no, I didn't, but could he PLEASE go sedate the woman down the hall who was screaming bloody murder???:eek:

LOL! You made me think about what kind of pain-taker I am. I've broken numerous bones, had a second trimester miscarriage, etc...things that causes extended periods of pain/discomfort. I'm not one to scream - what's the point really? You're just wasting energy. Instead, I tend to look demon-possessed, start cursing like a sailor and fly into a rage when I'm in a lot of pain. I also throw things. Maybe delivering in a hospital near sharp objects wouldn't be a good idea? :D

Oh, I curse like a sailor, too! If I decide to have children, labor should be... interesting. Yeah, interesting is a good word.

seriously! the woman down the hall from me was horrible! i tended to stick to the grunting and cursing but she was SCREAMING. ugh. thank god i had already finished up!

- m

Lol, and a full on rage takes less energy than one good scream? :p

I'm 3 months away from having my baby, and I KNOW I'm going to ask for the epidural ASAP! I'm also going to try to breastfeed, but I sure won't post pictures online, nor will I whip 'em out in public. I've seen quite a few cute "cover-ups" so if I want to BF in public, I can do so DISCREETLY!

Ok, this is one thread I'm glad I missed. Also makes me glad I'm not on facebook. And OTW, thanks for blinding me with that picture. Gah.

From the stories nurses have told me, it's never just one little scream. ;) I think throwing a pair of scizzors at my husband would require less energy than hollering for who knows how long.

RE: cover-ups - My friend has one that looks like a cross between a bib and a barber's cape. She calls it her "Supermom Cape." It's very cute and hides everything.

HOOTER HIDERS! Goofy name, but work so well. :)

Seriously. I have seen so many cute blankets out there that there is NO reason for me to have to see anyone's boobs in public.

We need to publish "The Greek Chat Guide to Pregnancy and Childbirth". :) Maybe we could get Hooter Hiders to sponsor it . . .

I saw some cute cover-ups at Once Upon a Child today, but they were $35....for the top half of an apron, I can find something cuter and cheaper....or my mom could make me one. :-)

I'm a member of another forum and I posted a similar statement and I immediately got "told off." The argument is that it doesn't matter if you see a boob or not. There shouldn't be a problem unless your mind is in the gutter. :rolleyes:

It's just some got damn TITS! I can't believe how much controversy this is stirring up.

Not so much in the gutter as immature.

It's not immature not to want to see certain body parts exposed.