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-   -   Didn't get invites, what are my options? (https://greekchat.com/gcforums/showthread.php?t=98958)

fantASTic 08-23-2008 03:44 PM

Strange. It didn't do it in that post..well, whatever.

And congrats on the getting married thing :)

texas*princess 08-23-2008 03:49 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by utcutie315 (Post 1703599)
I only came on here for reassurance that there are still options.

All posts about spelling aside, unfortunately we cannot promise you that "there are still options". We don't know what went wrong, and neither do you. We also don't know if bringing up your GPA or rushing as a junior or being married or anything will help or hurt you.

It would be wrong for us to give you false hope, because we don't know what happened.

Lightning Bug! 08-23-2008 04:13 PM

utcutie315...no one here wishes you any ill, but you seem to be getting frustrated with use because we can't give you any reassurance that there are still options. We have made some suggestions, but frankly we can't tell you much beyond that -- I did my best in my first post. You seem to have a lot going on in your life, a lot that has just happened, and it kind of sounds to me, at least, like you should be focusing on your grades and your upcoming engagement...both of which are very serious life matters that are more important than joining a sorority. Obviously we are not trying to tell you what to do with your life, but you did ask, and since you asked, I'm giving you my honest opinion. Once you've settled down from the horrible ordeal you went through with your mother and once you've gotten your grades up, then might be a good time to see what your sorority options are. But you seem to be older, and moving on to a more serious part of your life...engagement and marriage are really a big deal, and you should keep in mind that these are the kinds of things most sorority women grapple with at the END of their time as active members, not at the beginning. You may find that if you do end up pledging at some point, you feel very alienated from your pledge class, most of whom will be 18 and still thinking about their high school sweethearts. In any case, we aren't going to encourage you or give you false hopes just because that's what you want to hear. We did try to help, and we are sorry that the answers weren't satisfactory. We all wish you the best of luck.

nittanyalum 08-23-2008 05:04 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by utcutie315 (Post 1703608)
He was waiting to ask me after I received a bid and got into a sorority so that I would get to be a part of the ceremonies and etc that sororities have.

Whoa. That is hinging entirely too much on the unknown result of a variable process, you set your expectations way too high and counted on a positive result for way too much, that's part of why you're so upset. You have to be able to let it go and move on, greek life doesn't happen for everyone. It just doesn't.

Benzgirl 08-23-2008 05:16 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by nittanyalum (Post 1703672)
Whoa. That is hinging entirely too much on the unknown result of a variable process, you set your expectations way too high and counted on a positive result for way too much, that's part of why you're so upset. You have to be able to let it go and move on, greek life doesn't happen for everyone. It just doesn't.


Co-sign

irishpipes 08-23-2008 05:39 PM

Although recruitment is billed as a mutual selection process, the balance of power is tipped in favor of the sorority since a PNM can't join a chapter without their invitation. You went through the process, and unfortunately weren't issued an invitation to join a chapter on your campus. Since it could be a situation where you slipped through the cracks, I would contact the Greek Life Office about COB. If that doesn't work out, I would drop it and move on. It could be that you just don't happen to be a fit for the 4 chapters at your campus. We will never know. In any case, once you have given them 2 opportunities to invite you to membership and they haven't chosen to do so, you will know their position on bidding you.

There are lots of people who believe that they would be an asset to a sorority, but unless they can get a group of 18-21 year-olds to believe that, it is a moot point. I know that's a tough pill to swallow, but it's the truth of it. The chapter members get to issue the bids, and if they won't issue one to you, you really have no options. Sorry that sounds so harsh. It sounds like you have been through a lot and fortunately you have a support system in your boyfriend. Best of luck.

jwright25 08-24-2008 12:09 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Zillini (Post 1702823)
OK. But new member periods are only about 6 weeks long. So unless a semester/term ends in the middle of a new member period, the minimum GPA to initiate will be the same as the minimum to bid.

All GLOs have a minimum GPA required for new members and actives. On the campus I advise we are committed to academic excellence. Plus recruitment competition is ridiculously fierce. My chapter has set our minimums far above what our own Inatl requires. Again, I have no idea what it's like on this particular campus.

I'm just saying that Panhellenics too often set their minimum GPA for a PNM to participate in Recruitment below what the chapters are actually looking for. In my book it's equivalent to telling PNMs that Recs aren't required and/or chapters will obtain them for a PNM, when in reality chapters cut those who don't have them.


FWIW, UTC is one of only a handful (if that many) of campuses that require a semester-long pledge period AND a 2.5 GPA in order to initiate. If a new member doesn't make the 2.5 her pledge semester, she gets held over. (Yes, you can imagine the extra burdens that this puts on the chapters.) So to some chapters, a low college GPA might be an extra risk that they'd rather not take given that they will have to keep you as a pledge until you make a 2.5.

OP, you have received some good advice: make sure your recruitment counselor and the Greek Office are aware of your interest in membership. If any chapters fail to match quota, they will have the option to Snap Bid to quota any woman who participated but did not receive a bid - it is their discretion whether or not to invite someone that they previously released. It is highly unlikely that any chapters will be below Total after they take quota. Spring COR may or may not be an option depending on chapter size, transfers, etc. Good luck.

Zillini 08-24-2008 08:58 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by jwright25 (Post 1704083)
FWIW, UTC is one of only a handful (if that many) of campuses that require a semester-long pledge period AND a 2.5 GPA in order to initiate. If a new member doesn't make the 2.5 her pledge semester, she gets held over. (Yes, you can imagine the extra burdens that this puts on the chapters.) So to some chapters, a low college GPA might be an extra risk that they'd rather not take given that they will have to keep you as a pledge until you make a 2.5.

My apologies. I didn't know.

But that does raise another issue/question. Does a University have the right to overrule I/natl(s) policies?

breathesgelatin 08-24-2008 04:14 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Zillini (Post 1704179)
But that does raise another issue/question. Does a University have the right to overrule I/natl(s) policies?

Yeah, no kidding, my thoughts exactly.

phimusam 08-24-2008 05:21 PM

I am guessing that the university can set policy and that the sorority can either accept the policy or leave. I know that Auburn has a 3.0 policy and that sororities can set a higher bar if they so choose. Some chapters of my sorority have a 3.5 bar.

Titchou 08-24-2008 09:30 PM

I'm sorry my post caused such an uproar. My thinking was that if her grades were as she said and her spoken grammar similar to her written ("there was only 367" not "there were"), then that could have been the part of the problem. With a 2.5 required and having to make grades due to semester long new member period, I can understand some chapters releasing her. She needs an honest assessment by the Greek Adviser as to her chances. We can't tell her much beyond the obvious.

NutBrnHair 08-24-2008 09:33 PM

Bid Day was today at UT-Chattanooga. I'm not sure what quota was, but Chi Omega has 54 new members.

utcutie315 08-24-2008 10:22 PM

I'm more than positive that my age was the reason I did not recieve invites back. I have moved on and I'm not upset anymore. Why? Because I know I had no control over their decision. Thank you for your advice. From what I hear, Bid Day was a success and I couldn't be any happier for the girls. My turn will come. Until then I will support my friends and my boyfriend's fraternity and do my part in the greek life. There are plenty of things I can do to be a part of greek life with out actually being in a greek organization. Thanks again!!!

Unregistered- 08-24-2008 10:35 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by utcutie315 (Post 1704619)
I'm more than positive that my age was the reason I did not recieve invites back. I have moved on and I'm not upset anymore. Why? Because I know I had no control over their decision. Thank you for your advice. From what I hear, Bid Day was a success and I couldn't be any happier for the girls. My turn will come. Until then I will support my friends and my boyfriend's fraternity and do my part in the greek life. There are plenty of things I can do to be a part of greek life with out actually being in a greek organization. Thanks again!!!

That's some pretty good stuff up there.

Best of luck to you.

KSUViolet06 08-24-2008 10:46 PM

It's hard to say what someone's chances are or why they didn't receive a bid. The best thing for you to do, is to enjoy the rest of college, since you don't get a "do-over" of that.


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