I can not address what other chapters may or may not do. I do know that within Sigma Chi, the Sweetheart Program is a time honor tradition.

I apologize for not having gone into more detail. However, if you want, you may do a search and find a few threads regarding sweethearts.

Again, I apologize that I was not clear. The Sweetheart does not need to be involved at all. However, because she is a friend - and wants to - she will help her friend.

I noticed that too. ;) I tried to edit my original post and got caught in a kind of loop that didn't let me edit my reply. So I will now.

You are right. It doesn't make it any less likely. People will hook up if they want to. However, he is more likely to get the desired results from the Sweetheart than say perhaps his brother simply because she might have a larger pool to work with. In other words, she may know more available women.

It is not her "job". Or even her responsibility. It is something that she elects to do on her own because she is friends with the person who is asking her for help. In this case, it is a member of the fraternity.

As it should be. The Sweetheart is a FRIEND. She is under no obligation to set up anyone - ever!

Point taken. While they may not have had it when you were there, they might now. And the election of a chapter Sweetheart may not always be well publicized regardless of the campus. Besides, even if the Zeta Chapter (W&L) of Sigma Chi does not have a chapter Sweetheart, they do have an International Sweetheart.

If you are interested in learning more, and happen to know any fraternity men at Texas, please ask them if they have a chapter Sweetheart. Those who do might be able to give you a better understanding of what they actually do. And not something based on rumor on innuendo.

If you feel a need to judge based on what GC posters have said, then so be it. I hope that if you are truly interested in this, you will research it further and not limit your knowledge to what people post here.

I have know a few men who held the honor of being an Arrowmen. All are (and were) upstanding individuals.

I will try it again. If it still does not work, you might want to try searching "Sigma Chi Sweetheart Program" Once you get to the website, there are direct links to the program.

Sweetheart Program

Well, I only graduated in 2005, so if they have them now, it would be a really recent development. Trust me, EVERYTHING is well-publicized at W&L. Please don't pretend to understand my campus. For example, fraternities' nomination of homecoming candidates was a HUGE deal that all sorority women knew ALL about. I could even tell you which fraternities elected women how (based on people who hung out there, which woman had been dating a senior the longest, which woman they thought was a "sure thing" to win Homecoming even if she didn't hang out there, etc.). A lot of the traditional fraternity & women things weren't done at W&L--for example lavaliering. Guys didn't do that for whatever reason. Again I think it has to do with coeducation coming so late.

This is a good suggestion. I do know quite a few fraternity men at Texas, but since my connections with them are through being their instructor, it's actually not appropriate for me to ask them such questions. It violates TA liability policy.

I am truly interested in this. I HAVE read a lot of threads about this. Remember that I have been here since 2002 and have been reading threads for many years. You don't know what I have and haven't read. It's actually true that at one time I thought having sweethearts seemed cool and thought W&L fraternities should start doing it. On reading more (including from pro-sweetheart people), I began to think it was a VERY bad idea and came to really appreciate Pi Phi's policy banning sweethearts. Just because I disagree with you doesn't mean I'm uninformed. I readily admit I don't have direct experience with sweethearts. That doesn't mean I can't have an opinion on it. I don't have direct experience with taking heroin either, but I can have an opinion on it.

[quoteI have know a few men who held the honor of being an Arrowmen. All are (and were) upstanding individuals.[/quote]

I sure hope this isn't recently.

The link works now. Thanks. But again, official policy does not equal practice.

I apologize if I gave the impression that I pretended to understand your campus. I do not. On the same hand, and not that you have necessarily done so, please do not pretend to understand my fraternity.

You need to do what you need to do. But when I was in graduate school (and granted, I was not a teachers assistant) I was able to talk with other graduate students as well as undergrad students. Some were not ever in my department. I would hope that at a school like Texas you might be able to find at least one person you could speak with and not violate your TA liability policy.

Of course you may have an opinion. Yet because your sorority currently - or you personally - do not like the idea of *fraternity* sweethearts, or have a realistic concept of what they do, does not mean that other sororities or fraternities are not initialed to have one.

Well, yes. The ones I met recently held the honor years back.

You may be right. However, as you pointed out, you are not familiar with the concept of chapter sweethearts. So why say something inflammatory. Hearsay does not make it reality either.

And please, with respect to Sigma Chi Fraternity, if you ever find anything questionable regarding one of our chapter Sweethearts, please send me a PM with the specific details.

Not really. We can't really inquire into people's personal lives at all if we're their instructor. It's extremely inappropriate. Being a graduate instructor at a huge university, there are a ton of policies that would never come up if you were not an instructor. If they bring it up, certainly, but I don't know why they ever would. A Phi Psi in my class brought up that he was a Phi Psi recently and we discussed that. But otherwise I'm very limited in discussing such matters. And basically no one in my program was Greek except a few women. I can't think of any fraternity guys. Well two. But they both graduated.

They're entitled to, certainly. I agree there. They can have them. I'm not so sure they should have them.

I'm only going off what you and others have told me on GC. Are you a dishonest source?

I don't really think anything I've said is inflammatory. Oh well. My participation in this thread is obviously upsetting you so I'll bow out now. I just don't see why I'm entitled to the opinion that sweethearts are a very bizarre institution, just as you are entitled to your opinion that they are an awesome one. Even if I haven't seen them firsthand--which again, I readily admit--doesn't mean I haven't read about them or am not educated about them. And it doesn't mean I'm not entitled to an opinion about them, whether or not you like it.

Ours used to always be a brothers girlfriend until recently, now its more of a tool to get good relations with a certain sorority.

The International Sweetheart of Sigma Chi is an amazing program. The women who become International Sweetheart are beautiful, intelligent, dedicated young ladies.

However, my experience with an individual chapter was less than amazing. I was MARRIED to the president, and given an award by the Grand Consul for my dedication and work, but was told I couldn't be sweetheart because I didn't sleep with the brothers. Hey, I was sleeping with one of them!:rolleyes:

Another example that I mentioned. Here's one more: this year, that same chapter I referenced earlier picked a sorority woman who wasn't dating a brother. She brought her gdi date to the formal (no comment). Allegedly, it was based on politics of some older brothers. That was their choice for this year based on their own need/decision.

Basically my point is that there are various reasons a chapter would nominate and pick a sweetheart for. And even those can vary by year or by person nominated/chosen. Not all sweethearts have that negative stereotypes and people should stop lumping them together just as they would not want outsiders to judge all greeks the same.

Actually, I thought my comments were more of a critique of the fraternity members who select the sweetheart than the sweetheart herself.

If it bothers you that she's involved in this, then you should leave her alone. Use your 1st instinct.

Me personally, I've never been a fan of dating sweethearts. I'm sure some are nice women, but I wouldn't get involved in a relationship with one.

In my chapter of Sigma Chi the Sweatheart is elected by the chapter, the chapter advisors, the house mom, and some are even nominated by her sorority. We elect her based on her service to the community and her sorority, her grades, her character, her ambitions, and her love for the Fraternity. No, she does not have to sleep with any of the brothers or any of that foolishness. No, we do not ask her to find dates for any of the brothers for functions. His big brother or pledge brothers usually will help do that. The Sweatheart is like a sister to most of us and that's why we honor her. The only thing we require her to do is that she holds a position on our Mom's Weekend committee along with the House Mom. Other than that everything that she does is her choice. On a personal level I love having the sweatheart around because her point of view on things are sometimes some what different then the Brothers, sometimes a man need a womans prospective on things. She gave me lots of advise on how to improve relations with my little sister. So the Sweathearts and the house moms' are a big deal to me. I understand that there are some chapter's of Sigma Chi who do not have Sweatheart's, they are not a requirement. But I think they should have one. I also know that not every chapter utilizes the Sweatheart in the same way. But I hope I gave a different light on why we have our Sweathearts.

I asked because it sounded like you were saying it was the same 5 guys every time and she had to keep setting them up. I understand being shy but if semester after semester a guy can't get a date that might be a problem. :)

But I get what you're saying now.

As for not having a date to formal, well, girls can do that because they jump around and dance with each other. Guys not so much. If I was dating a fraternity guy & couldn't go for some reason, I would rather have the sweetheart set him up rather than have him call 1-800-4SKANKS.

And just to point out...this has NOTHING to do w/ the original post as NPHC "sweethearts" and NIC sweethearts are 2 very different things.

Im going to put my $.63 and $.64 cents in here. Just because the girl that you are dating is an Iota Sweetheart dont judge her by the organization. I can tell you that Iota Sweethearts are an organization that is here to help the brothers of Iota Phi Theta. And they truly are family. No we are not groupies, and we have done a lot to help support our fraternity since 1963. So if its the organization affiliation, dont stop talking to her just because she is active in an auxilary. And if her doing service with our sweetheart sisters and our frat brothers, going away to national conventions bothers you than maybe you should re-think dating ANYONE for that matter who is involved with a greek organization. Because that same uneasyiness that you feel with HER your going to feel with anyone that you date. A lot of ppl will think that we are groupies of Iota but thats just because we are very protective of each other. Especially being the last org in the d9 and just being disliked, talked about, etc etc....we just have a protective heart towards our brothers and in return they feel the need to protect us as well and guide us in the right direction so we wont end up like the other auxilaries running around aimlessly trying to attach onto a frat. But its nothing but family here.... but its the same case if you were dating a woman in a sorority who were affiliated with a fraternity (whether officially or unoficially) nobody will understand the bond they have with their brothers....so if its that connection that you question then maybe you should just date someone not affiliated with an organization at all.

My boyfriend broke up with me when I told him I was going on court to be an Iota Sweetheart and sadly to say he went on to pledge a fraternity, and 2 years later Ive done more with Iota Phi Theta than he has done with his organization, and I have 1 letter and he has 3. Judge her for the lady that she is. BUT I do say that our selection process is very strict and our brothers are very strict on us about how we act in public so I would love to say that everyone acts as much of a lady as we can 24/7....but she's a woman first before she's an Iota Sweetheart. So judge her on HER CHARACTER, and is she a loving person, does she support you as the man she's dating... does she have morals for herself....not the organization. Because at the end of the day, Iota Sweethearts doesnt make her who she is. It's just the organization that we do service with and for.

Great to hear about your positive experience with Iota Sweethearts. It almost sounds like an org itself. Can you be an Iota Sweetheart and a member of an NPHC sorority?

Yes. I have a lot of sweethearts are currently in sororities now.

Cool, I didn't know if it was like being a sorority of its own or a different experience.