To change on the outside, you need to work on what's on the inside.

If that sounds cryptic, think about it. What is the real problem? Take a look at yourself and start there.

And truly, these guys you're pledging haven't really spent time learning about American pop culture and the way of life here. Heck, back home they'd be the cool ones and you'd be that weird ABC (fyi for those who're scratching heads, American Born Chinese). If you don't like the image your fraternity has, why don't you organize some high profile bonding activities - such as pick up game of football on a lawn or something similar? You'd be bonding the fraternity together, perhaps teaching this American sport to some who'd never heard of it before, and publicity if you're wearing your letter. Maybe it's not so much the guys when they first join, but what they do after they've been in the fraternity for a while.

I'll bet we were all fob's (for lack of better word) to some degree when we first entered college, and changed as the years went on. Feel good that you have the opportunity to welcome your brothers to another culture. =)

You know...it kind of sounds like YOU'RE the one out of place here. Maybe you just joined a group you didn't fit with. It happens. If it IS the case, I sincerely doubt you can change an entire fraternity to fit you. You may just have to roll with the punches and remember that it's not just about image, and girls, and that you can go to the bar with people who aren't in your fraternity.

Yeah I don't think I'm happy here anymore. The fraternity no longer fits the purpose I've set for myself inside. A lot of red tape, conservatism, and just overall blah and I need to keep moving on and find a place I really fit. I feel so stagnant right now and everything is repetitive. Not even fitting in with these guys anymore as conflicts arise. Used to be one of only two guys that were the most dedicated and running the fraternity. Now losing a lot of my motivation. Guess this isn't the place to be. Wish I could start my own fraternity...oh well.

So that's the answer these days? If you don't like the organization you pledged a committment to, just drop it and start a new one?:rolleyes:

^Well, if you'd like to stop posting, I won't get in your way. How's that? OMG!!!! :)

The point is that instead of saying "you should try harder in the fraternity you pledged instead of abandoning it...life isn't perfect," you said "sounds great...it will be hard work but could work out!!!!!!" Like you're a cheerleader. ;)

There seems to be a new fraternity or sorority everytime I turn around--usually locals but some are attempting national status. New organizations aren't bad--our orgs were considered new years ago--but there are some really lame and cowardly reasons for starting a new organization.

But that's what you typed. If you didn't mean that, you shouldn't have co-signed on the OP's comment.

LOL!

Uh...there are plenty of cheerleaders who aren't the "cheerleader type" with every discussion.

You can be positive and encouraging without sacrificing honesty and straightforwardness.

I guess stating the obvious (the possibility of starting a new fraternity) is as honest and straightforward as it gets. :)

That would be helpful. This is the internet so we usually can't tell when you're joking or being sarcastic.

To the OP, some of what you're feeling may be more common than you realize, no matter what kind of group you're in. I thinks it's easier to look up to people when you're the new one joining an established group with a reputation that you like.

It's a lot harder to maintain your enthusiasm for it when the people in the group are looking to you for the leadership.

The only way to reposition your group is to either work with the guys in it to seem more like the group you want (and they probably want to be cooler and more attractive to girls too) or to actively recruit the specific people on your campus who fit the group who are more like the original founders.

It's going to be hard work, but if you really want the brotherhood you have to keep going, I think that's what you're looking at.

^ ok stand up for what you say on the forums ... none of this bs excuse that oh i was a cheerleader for 6 years that's the way i am .... that's pathetic.... for example i know plenty of cheerleaders, myself included, that aren't all peppy and spirity 24/7 .. we also don't use the excuse oh we're cheerleaders we have a right to be dumb. it's people like you saying the stuff you do that give cheerleaders a bad name

^ co sign to the 10th degree

^ honesty and straightfowardness are just that honest and straightfoward... you're either really blunt and just put it out there or you sugar coat it so you don't hurt people's feelings... it's one or the other.. which are you?

Aaaaaand she misses the point again!

WHOOSH!

greekone and WDC needs to stop hating. We had tons of Asian international students pledge one semester. They rocked. They taught us how to say bad words in their languages and fixed us all kind of exotic dishes with tasty veggies, cool spices, and unusal amimal meats.