|
The Sweeney Sisters
|
One of my favorites is when Jesse Jackson was on Weekend Update and read "Green Eggs and Ham"
|
Quote:
thank you!!!! i do this alllll the time in the club. :D |
Fresh-a pepper?
Adam Sandler and Dana Carvey were the men!
Marco: A-fresh a-pepper? Female Diner #1: Oh.. sure. Marco: Alright. Say when. [ grinds pepper oh-so-sexy ] Female Diner #1: When. Marco: [ stops grinding pepper ] A-grazi! [ turns to Male Diner #1 ] Fresh pepper? Male Diner #1: Just a little bit, Marco: Alright. [ grinds pepper oh-so-sexy ] Say when. Male Diner #1: Uh.. that's good. Marco: [ stops grinding pepper ] A-grazi! [ Marco walks towards the back, where Carlo nervously awaits ] Marco: Look, Carlo, come here! You see what I am doing with the pepper? You see what I do with the pepper? Carlo: Yes, Senor Marco.. Marco: The people! The people they want the pepper, alright? They want the pepper! I grind the pepper! That is the job of the pepper boy, you understand?! Carlo: Fresh-a pepper. Marco: Yes. Very good, very good. Some day, Carlo, you will-a be a pepper boy! Now, watch. You pick up as a-we a-go, okay? Come on, now. [ approaches next couple at table, as Marco follows closely ] Fresh.. pepper? Female Diner #2: Sure. Marco: [ begins to grind pepper in a sexy manner ] Say wheeenn.. [ Female Diner #2 moans excitedly ] Marco: Say wheeeeennnnnn.. Female Diner #2: When! When! [ stands up to kiss Marco on the lips ] Marco: A-graziiiii! [ returns to Carlo ] You see? You see, Carlo? You see how the pepper works, Carlo? Carlo: I am afraid, Senor Marco.. not be afraid of the pepper, Carlo! The pepper is your friend! Alright? Look! I see a salad! You go, you take-a the pepper. [ hands pepper [COLOR=blue ! important][COLOR=blue ! important]grinder[/COLOR][/COLOR] to Carlo ] Carlo: [ hesitant ] No, no, no.. Carlo: You take-a the pepper, Carlo! Take-a the pepper! Take-a the pepper! Now, go! Go with the pepper. Carlo: [ approaches table cautiously ] Fresh-a pepper? Male Diner #2: Sure. Sounds good. Carlo: [ bows ] A-grazi! [ returns to Marco ] Marco: Carlo, didn't you forget-a something, huh? Carlo: Uh.. oh, yes.. [ returns to table, kisses Male Diner #2, returns to Marco ] Marco: No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, Carlo! No! You make-a a mistake! Carlo: The a-grazi? Marco: No! That part, the a-grazi was good! But you no give-a the pepper! That's the whole point, Carlo! Here. you watch me, alright? Here we go. Watch-a the pepper. [ takes pepper grinder and approaches table ] Fresh-a pepper? Male Diner #2: Yes. I've been waiting quite some time for this pepper I've heard so much about. Marco: Say whenn.. [ grinds pepper from behind his back ] You like-a the pepper, huh? Male Diner #2: Wow! Very good! Marco: You like-a the fresh-a pepper, huh? Let's-a get some pepper in there.. let's-a get some pepper. [ raises one leg on Male Diner #2's [COLOR=blue ! important][COLOR=blue ! important]chair[/COLOR][/COLOR], then places pepper grinder between his legs to grind pepper as though masturbating ] You like-a the pepper? Male Diner #2: [ excited ] Yeahhh.. Marco: You like-a the pepper? Male Diner #2: That's good! Marco: Senorita, like-a the pepper, huh? You like-a the pepper? Male Diner #2: That's very good, thank you so much! Marco: [ stands behind Male Diner #2, who has his arms raised, grinding the pepper with him between the action ] Let's-a get back over-a here. Remember, to-a say when, let's get behind here, give-a more pepper. You like-a that, huh? Male Diner #2: Yeah! Marco: You like-a that, huh? Male Diner #2: Yeahhhh! Marco: You like-a that, huh? Male Diner #2: Yeahhhh! Yeahhhhh! Yeah! Marco: Alright! Male Diner #2: Thank you very much! Your wizardry with that pepper mill really brightened my day! Here's $200! Marco: A-grazi! [ returns with Carlo to the back ] Now, now, now.. come here, come here.. come here, Carlo! Now, now! Let me tell you! You see what I do with the pepper, huh? You see? You got to also say "When?" and then, you also got to give them the pepper! Okay? Carlo: When? Marco: Yes! Carlo: Give-a the pepper. Marco: Yes! That's-a very good! Very good! I be-lieve in all-a my heart, you can do this, Carlo! Now.. try again, alrght? You take-a the pepper, you try again. Let's-a go. Carlo: Fresh-a pepper? Male Diner #3: On my chocolate mousse? No thank you. Carlo: Say when. [ begins to grind pepper onto the chocolate mousse ] Male Diner #3: No! [ Carlo keeps grinding ] Hey, cut it out, come on! Carlo: Say when. Male Diner #3: No, come on! Don't! Carlo: Say when! Male Diner #3: No, come on! Come on! Carlo: [ places the grinder between his legs, gridning the pepper toward the mousse as though he were humping the table ] Say when! Say when! Say when! Say when! Marco: Carlo! Carlo! Carlo! [ slaps Carlo repeatedly across the face ] Carlo, I love you, but sometimes.. Carlo: I do bad things? Marco: No, no, no, no, not everybody want the pepper, Carlo! There are rules! The man eat a chocolate mousse, he no get the pepper! Alright! Carlo: No pepper? Marco: No pepper! But the woman with the Caeser salad, she a-get a-the pepper! Carlo: Pepper! Marco: That's right. This is the art of the pepper boy, Carlo! Don't let it die with me! Please.. let me-a teach it to you! Carlo: Teach me, Senor Marco. Marco: Alright. You see the man right there. [ points to Male Diner #4, who sports a big, fat bushy beard ] Yeah. Carlo: Biiiigggg, faaaattt bushy beard? Marco: Big, fat bushy beard. He like-a three twists of pepper! Carlo: Three? Marco: Three! Now.. make-a me proud! Hah? [ Carlo nervously zeroes in on Male Diner #4 ] Carlo: Fresh-a pepper? Male Diner #4: [ enthusiastic ] Why.. yes! Carlo: [ apprehensively, Carlo steadies his pepper grinder over Male Diner #4's plate ] Say.. when. Marco: [ supportive of Carlo ] Alright.. alright.. Carlo: [ twists pepper grinder ] One.. two.. [ nervous, pauses as Male Diner #4 and Marco watch patiently ] ..three.. Male Diner #4: [ grateful ] Why.. thank you, Pepper Boy! That's the perfect amount of pepper! Bravo! Carlo: Grazi! |
Andy Samburg as Kevin Federline:
"In summary, I'm like the new Bill Cosby. I'm really funny, I'm good with kids, and I'm Black!" |
I still get a big laugh out of "Buckwheat sings your favorites," but I can't write it the way it sounds.
|
Quote:
"Una panuma Bancaaaaaaaaaaaaa" "I am da barber of dabill....fee ga ro. fee ga ro!" |
LOL, Nut, you posted my favorites! "Land Shark!"
|
Quote:
http://youtube.com/watch?v=rrW7OtZSRmM |
"Its a d*ck in a box!"
"Like Butter!" "I am Brian Fellows!!!" "He is and will forever be, the Falconer!!" "You, me, you, him, you, me???" (I hope people know which one I am talking about here...or will I be forced to show YouTube?) I have no idea why, but that Brian Fellows one is a classic line in my family. When either my dad, my sister, or I are acting crazy, we quote the Brian Fellows line! |
Quote:
I can't pick just one....here are a few: Christopher Walken in "The Continental"--my favorite wasn't a quote but an incidence when his fake mustache started to fall & it was hanging on his mouth & he kept blowing it! lol. The Spartan Cheerleaders---I LOOVE them "I won't be your friend...if you do drugs" Mary Katherine Gallagher--duh! lol. SUPASTAR! The Ladies Man--especially when The Rock guest appeared as a woman. Chippendales--Patrick Swayze & Chris Farley= sheer comedy |
Jack Handey
Blue Oyster Cult Schweaty Balls Chippendales Night at the Roxbury Brian Fellows Safari Planet |
My parents LOVED SNL when it first started airing, so they taped a ton of episodes and I grew up watching them...in addition to some of the "best of" tapes of Steve Martin and John Belushi.
My favorites: "We are two WILD AND CRAZY GUYS!" (Steve Martin and Dan Ackroyd "Well EXCUUUUUUUUUUSE ME!" (Steve Martin) "Cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger, two Pepsi, one chips" "But NOOOOOOOOO!" "Now is the time on Sprockets when we dance!" http://vids.myspace.com/index.cfm?fu...oID=1387618765 "Well, hello my name is Simon, and I like to do drawings" John Belushi's "Samurai" sketches The original Blues Brothers: http://youtube.com/watch?v=lwva0w6TJm4 Stevie Wonder and Joe Piscopo's Canon camera commercial: http://youtube.com/watch?v=Oyg2PXF8g6I "Frank Sinatra" and "Stevie Wonder" record their own version of Ebony & Ivory: http://www.jibjab.com/view/93879 "NBC cancels Star Trek" sketch - wish I could find a clip of this online! Deep Thoughts by Jack Handy |
Quote:
|
Quote:
|
| All times are GMT -4. The time now is 10:30 AM. |
Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.11
Copyright ©2000 - 2025, vBulletin Solutions Inc.