In honor of the season, this is from Saturday Night Live, written by Steve Martin:

Steve Martin: "If I had one wish that I could wish this holiday season, it would be that all the children to join hands and sing together in the spirit of harmony and peace. If I had two wishes I could make this holiday season, the first would be for all the children of the world to join hands and sing in the spirit of harmony and peace. And the second would be for 30 million dollars a month to be given to me, tax-free in a Swiss bank account. You know, if I had three wishes I could make this holiday season, the first, of course, would be for all the children of the world to get together and sing, the second would be for the 30 million dollars every month to me, and the third would be for encompassing power over every living being in the entire universe. And if I had four wishes that I could make this holiday season, the first would be the crap about the kids definitely, the second would be for the 30 million, the third would be for all the power, and the fourth would be to set aside one month each year to have an extended 31-day orgasm, to be brought out slowly by Rosanna Arquette and that model Paulina-somebody, I can't think of her name. Of course my lovely wife can come too and she's behind me one hundred percent here, I guarantee it. Wait a minute, maybe the sex thing should be the first wish, so if I made that the first wish, because it could all go boom tomorrow, then what do you got, y'know? No, no, the kids, the kids singing would be great, that would be nice. But wait a minute, who am I kidding? They're not going to be able to get all those kids together. I mean, the logistics of the thing is impossible, more trouble than it's worth! So -- we reorganize! Here we go. First, the sex thing. We go with that. Second, the money. No, we got with the power second, then the money. And then the kids. Oh wait, oh jeez, I forgot about revenge against my enemies! Okay, I need revenge against all my enemies, they should die like pigs in hell! That would be my fourth wish. And, of course, my fifth wish would be for all the children of the world to join hands and sing together in the spirit of harmony and peace. Thank you everybody and Merry Christmas."

Stonewall Jackson from Gods and Generals
Jackson: Men of the valley, citizen-soldiers: I am here at the order of General Robert E. Lee, commandin' all Virginia forces. On April 15th of this year of our Lord, 1861, Simon Cameron, the Secretary of War of the United States sent a telegram to our Governor, John Letcher, directing him to raise three regiments of infantry to be sent to assist in suppressin' the southern confederacy. Governor Letcher's answer is well-known to you, but perhaps not his words.
His wire to Washington stated, "You have chosen to inaugurate civil war. And, having done so, we will meet you in a spirit as determined as the Lincoln Administration has exhibited toward the South."
Two days later, the Virginia legislature voted for secession.
Just as we would not send any of our soldiers to march in other states and tyrannize other people, so will we never allow the armies of others to march into our State and tyrannize our people.
Like many of you -- indeed, most of you -- I've always been a Union man. It is not with joy or with a light heart that many of us have welcomed secession. Had our neighbors to the North practiced a less bellicose form of persuasion, perhaps this day might not have come. BUT that day has been thrust upon us like it was THRUST upon our ancestors.
The Lincoln Administration required us to raise three regiments.
TELL them we have done so!
Dismissed.

i know, i thought about you when i went a-searching for it!

OMG LMAO!!! I love Steve Martin.

Dont' forget to watch the Kennedy Honors this Wednesday! :)

Okay, so for the last few hours I've done absolutely nothing but watch YouTube and search for my favorite monologues. Couldn't find most of what I was looking for but I'll offer these greats:

Al Pacino in And Justice for All (warning: profanity)

http://youtube.com/watch?v=iIAODV43YGU



Not exactly a monologue but….Bluto’s speech becomes Otter’s speech from Animal House (warning: profanity)

http://youtube.com/watch?v=VclHtnoTqRA



John Cusack monologue from High Fidelity

http://youtube.com/watch?v=i8q5wiMYojo



Jack Nicholson monologue from The Witches of Eastwick
(warning: really gross and has profanity)

http://youtube.com/watch?v=bhiz63BbWtY



Morgan Freeman in The Shawshank Redemption (parole hearing)

http://youtube.com/watch?v=lu6L6jgpwJE&feature=related



Morgan Freeman in The Shawshank Redeption (final scene)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_TjyR...eature=related


Leslie Anne

P.S. Thanks, PhiGam, for a great thread. :)

The and justice for all one was really good, I've never seen that one before. Thanks for taking the time to bring us all those great videos.

http://youtube.com/watch?v=chqi8m4CEEY&feature=related
Speech from V for Vendetta, not as clever as the intro but still really good.

Another good one from John Cusack, in Say Anything:
http://youtube.com/watch?v=sj3Syni1smY

And a couple good ones in here from Judd Nelson's charachter in The Breakfast Club:
http://youtube.com/watch?v=SJmHaNpP_no (profanity)

Battle of the St. Crispin’s Day speech from Shakespeare’s Henry V:


Kenneth Branagh:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NA3gOST4Pc8

Laurence Olivier:
http://youtube.com/watch?v=P9fa3HFR02E&feature=related

David Gwillim:
http://youtube.com/watch?v=WNGVKwojfLI&feature=related


and finally, for all those who had to do the Julius Caesar "Friends, Romans, countrymen" speech in elementary school (I had to do it wearing a toga and laurel leaves :o ) I give you:


Quinn (an 8th grader):
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Cy7JW...eature=related



So who does it best? Personally, I think Quinn does an excellent job. :)