jwsteele,

In a weird way, I think we're trying to say the same thing - sisterhood is more important that what tier a sorority is in.

Sometimes PNMs have this idea that if they join the most prestigious sorority they can get into, their life will somehow improve over finding a group that works best for them, and I was attempting to show a small example of this. Of course, sometimes the most prestigious sorority IS the best fit.

The "beautiful but shallow" comment was meant to be tongue in cheek. :rolleyes: I'm not insinuating that all 'beautiful' chapters are shallow or have less of a sisterhood. Often they are attractive to PNMs because of the strong bond.

But I appreciate you calling out my inconsistencies so that PNMs reading this don't misunderstand my words.

Thank you to all those who sent me PMs! :) I was reeling somewhat from some of the responses I received. I had to step back and re-evaluate.

I thought I had "framed my questions constructively."

My purpose in asking the questions was to gain an understanding of the reasoning behind why someone would be so intent on joining a "higher tier" sorority when it might not be the best fit for them--and to determine how those girls might feel if they accepted a bid into a "lower tier" or "mid tier" sorority.

I now understand that some girls (and their moms) have been planning this time for many years. My mom is not Greek, nor is anyone in my family, so I don't have that pressure. My mom doesn't care if I do or don't join a sorority. She just wants me to become involved in SOMETHING and have fun in college (after academics are taken care of, of course).

If I go through recruitment, I wouldn't rule anyone out because of tiers (higher or lower). I was a cheerleader in high school and was probably considered popular, but I had friends in all different groups (athletes, theatre, and the academics). I think it's more important to feel connected to people rather than an image.

Thanks also to all those who posted with constructive comments. To those who didn't, well . . . I guess I wonder what's bothering you that you have to be nasty. I thought sisterhood was a bonding experience, but I'm an idealist.

When I went through Recruitment, I felt very much the same way. The only greeks I had in my family either went to very small schools or very large "greek schools" in the south.

After I pledged, I realized that some of the houses that I dropped after the first round were considered the Top Tiers. I remember one house in particular (which was suppose to be the skinny, cute, rich girls) where the girl that rushed me in the first round giggled the whole time. I had to carry the conversation. In a way, being blind to the politics of reccruitment guided me to where I felt most comfortable and least intimidated.

I had very few recs, went to no teas, didn't have a helicopter mom who planned the rest of my life during childhood, and didn't shop for a "rush wardrobe". In fact, I borrowed my roommates dress for Pref.

:)The only pact I made was to call my brother after pref (he was a senior at the same school) and go over my choices. My one, two and three chioces matched his exactly. It turned out that one of his very best female friends became a sister of mine and I had never met her during rush.

Put on the blinders, put in the earplugs. Forget about what others say and go with your heart.

Tiers
 

Dear Blonde,

Do not be afraid to ask questions. I am sorry you feel chastised. Sometimes people need some help with their delivery responses. I totally understand what you are talking about regarding tiers. My daughter goes to UT Knoxville and we also heard about the tiers. We heard there were three tiers and then many people kept giving us about the same repetitive speech about which sororities where on which tier.

I am in marketing and I see it as a trend. In other words...currently ABC, DEF, GHI, JKL, MNO were on the top tier and had repeatedly been on the top tier for many years. PQR kept going from top to middle. I see tiers as not just the richest, prettiest, GPA's but what seems to be be the most popular sorority that ALL the girls are trying to get into. As you know sororities compete on just about every level. Nothing wrong with that at all. Maybe they may be known for the highest gpa's, the most cheerleaders, the prettiest girls, the most homecoming queens, etc. I think they remain in their popularity tier by just being that...the most popular for whatever reason.

As many have said above me and what I told my daughter...go with who YOU feel the most comfortable with and who you could see being in your life for many years to come. This is a sisterhood you are talking about and you are investing your time, energy, and money and make sure you are with a group of girls that feels home to you. She did just that and loves, loves, loves it. I noticed that my daughter's sorority is having mixers with some of the most popular fraternities so I guess it is true when it comes to mixers, etc. What matters is not popularity but how comfortable you feel with each group. Good luck to you!

Benzgirl,

Very well said. You did a much better job than I did.

Blonde, definitely go with where you feel most comfortable, but don't expect not to feel the peer pressure starting to influence you somewhat. It's a very intense week and everyone and their mother is sharing her opinions with you. Unless you're completely antisocial and don't get to know your fellow PNMs (something I doubt you would do!), you will feel this pressure, and you will be influenced, to some degree. Just a friendly caution.

TN mom-- your thoughts are spot-on. Tiers don't change drastically, but every 4 years or every time there is a colonization or chapter closing or a major internal chapter crisis that explodes outward, there is a definite shift in the tiers. That being said, the tiers really don't matter much. Every sorority shares similar ideals of sisterhood, service and scholarship. They all have social events with other groups. You can date who you want, fraternity man or non-Greek. You can be friends with anyone you want, Greek or not. The members in each chapter are not cookie cutter-- they come from all walks of life, cultural backgrounds, races, academic histories and goals, etc. Anyway, best of luck, Blonde--when is your recruitment?