FWIW, even if it was an alum who never gave a dime to the chapter, if she showed up with a bottle of wine or something, she also should receive a gentle warning, not her head handed to her on a plate. Treating ANY alum like that is unacceptable. It's just stupider in this case since they probably sent a lot of $$ walking out the door.

Excellent point.

It is also a fact that racism still exists in the "real world," but that doesn't mean we should teach students that racism is okay. If we want today's students to make the world a better place, they have to believe they have the power to change it - that we can someday achieve equality (in terms of race or social status, or any other factor for that matter).

This type of attitude certainly doesn't give much promise for a better future.

Alumni should not automatically have the respect of active members. I know plenty of Greek alumni who perpetuate stereotypes and give nothing back to their organizations. Alumni should have to earn the respect of actives by being positive role models and upholding the values of their organization.

Certainly, the alumna in question has done much to earn respect, but I would be careful about making generalizations.

Alcohol does not belong on sorority property, regardless of whether or not school is in session or it is an alum-only event.

In the case of SA, I think it should have been handled as tactfully as possible for her to save face and defer to her to "educate the alums b/c they will respect" her position more... so she would want to continue to support the organization. If it had been handled as a face-to-face meeting and given her the chance to tell the other alums in her own way... a la, "Oopsies, girls! We're not allowed to have alcohol at the chapter house and I don't know where my head was! It was great to see all of you, though, and we'll have to remember to have our drinks off-campus next time!"... then I think she wouldn't be such sour grapes.

And Alums do deserve respect. If the collegians and HQ's want that lifetime alumnae support, they need to show some respect to the alums who have come before them. Especially if they ever hope to ask for $$$ or volunteers to support the chapter. You can't just go to the alums with outstretched hands. You have to cultivate and maintain a relationship. The alum has a lot of options on how she wants to spend her time and money. She isn't obligated to donate those to the sorority if she feels that all she is an open pocket book and a warm body.

And yes it sucks if you personally don't care for that individual. But this isn't about being BFF... it is entirely political, and sometimes you have to do things to keep programs going.
We easily forget that sororities are non-profit organizations. SA may be a PITA and a martyr, but that chapter probably would not exist right now had she not stepped in and helped rally the alumnae and raise the money necessary to keep it alive.

Couldn't they have gone to a restaurant or something that was NEAR the house? And then coffee and dessert at the house afterwards?

They could have, probably, but I don't think there's any reason to think that they knew they weren't supposed to have alcohol in the house, so it probably never occurred to them to do so.

Just to throw out these two cents: it's wrong to do anything that your GLOs policies forbid in the chapter house, but let's keep in mind that the real issue here is apparently about the kind of insurance the groups have.

There's nothing independently, morally wrong with a bunch of alumnae drinking wine in the chapter house, so nobody should really be on their moral high horse about the issue.

They just needed to tactfully explain that it was against the rules. Now, if she did know it was forbidden and did it anyway, I think the chapter is probably better off without her.

disagree
 

Yes, they should automatically have respect, unless they do something to show that they don't merit it. Maybe the guy who "perpetuated a stereotype" gave $5000 to his fraternity's philanthropy or helped a brother who was in emotional trouble, but didn't feel the need to wave it around just so he could hear everyone say what a paragon of Greek virtue he was. As you said, be careful about making generalizations.

You don't bitch someone out in the rudest way possible who was simply trying to do something nice for someone, if they just didn't know the rules. Especially if the rules are pretty freaking ridiculous, antiquated and sexist to begin with.

Sorry for the interruption, but what's a PITA?

I wouldn't be so sure that she didn't know the rules. If this was an NPC sorority, then it is common knowledge that no alcohol is allowed in the houses.

It's a "Pain In The ___" :D

If your house insurance becomes null and void when alcohol is found on the property, I'd say that's reason for a big stink.

No, it is not "common knowledge." The scenario in the original post was an older alumna. She has a 27-28 year old daughter, so I'm guessing she's at least 50 or pushing it fast. The alcohol rules were not as big of a deal back then, especially since many states still had an 18 or 19 year old drinking age. And even if they were in place when her daughter was in school, her daughter may have never thought to mention it to her. Not to mention, I have no idea of the school but they may not have HAD a house when mom or daughter was in school.

I mean, this wasn't a bunch of 18 year olds doing beer bongs in their underwear with fraternity guys watching. It was a group of almost-age-30 alumnae and a 50 year old alumna drinking probably a glass of wine each. In the summer, with nary a collegian around. In a closed house, with no non-sisters present. We have some people who are pretty anal on the use of alcohol, but I can't imagine even any of them going ballistic in this situation. Like I said, I'm guessing there was more involved than not following policies...it sounds like some inter-chapter politics that's been simmering and reared its head.

Plus it was summer . . .

But in this situation...who's going to call the insurance company? The 10 year old boy riding his bike down the street, peeping in the window? It was summer. No one's around. And I'm guessing the women cleaned up after their luncheon.