alumnae are not supposed to interact with pnms during parties. if a sorority wants you badly enough, they will find a rec. for you,if they want to work that hard. it is an unspoken thing-you will not even know about it.

Thanks, Georgiagirl, that's good to know.


I knew that they would find you one if they wanted you bad enough. I was just afraid that at some groups; if they didn't know you in advance and you didn't have a great rec, then you might not make it to second round. I'm happy to hear that no one using recs to do releases.

Recs at Vanderbilt
 

Isn't it somewhat silly for the sororities at Vanderbilt to even think about recs? Vandy has become increasingly selective over the past dozen years and now is just a cut below the Ivy League schools in this respect. You would think that just being admitted to Vandy would be enough of a rec.

Now THAT'S silly.

Consideration shouldn't be based on academic record alone. Academic records/standardized test scores are just one part of the individual.

NO. The alumnae aren't just sitting around rush waiting for stuff to do - they are grown women who have lives. The role of alums in rush varies by sorority, but I can't think of any who do this. If alums are at rush, they're probably putting out refreshments or something similar. Rush is for active sisters to interact with rushees.

How about instead of jumping down her throat, someone might try explaining things to her. A number of posters have mentioned that "if they really want you they'll get a rec for you". Clearly to someone not familiar with recruitment, this is a curious statement.

Anyone care to explain this to her?

Sorry if you thought I was curt, but I'm a little frustrated. The OP was advised that regardless of what the GL office says, it would be to her benefit to obtain recs on her own, and it just seems like she's coming up with excuse after excuse to blow it off.

Since MS is private, I don't see how you could possibly speak for any sorority other than your own. I'm sure as a Rho Chi you have a lot of great insight into recruitment at your school, but I wouldn't think you would know about MS in other chapters.

In my experience, some sororities at Vandy need a rec to offer a bid as more of a formality than anything else and in that situation will have someone write one based on the PNMs credentials, even though they have never met. I would think that in that situation the chapter will have someone write a rec and not having one before the process begins is not going to be much of a barrier to getting a bid.

On the other hand, there are those sororities that rely very heavily on recs as an introduction to the PNMs. At Vandy, these are generally the more competitive sororities and based on the recs they received in the early fall, they have made a point to get to know the PNMs they are interested in throughout the first semester, which is really the biggest benefit of having recs at Vandy. Personally, I have not seen or heard of many of these groups actively seeking out recs during recruitment. I’m sure it happens, but I do not believe that it’s the norm.

By the time recruitment rolls around in January, the more competitive sororities already know who they want and its not very common for them to suddenly meet someone new that they are interested in. If you do not already know the women in these chapters by now, odds are unfortunately pretty good that you won’t make it very far with them during recruitment. It is in this situation where not having a rec really hurts, but in all honesty, I don’t think getting a rec in now would help much since so much of the benefit is the introduction and having that first semester to meet the PNM and find out more about her. In my opinion, its just not going to be much help to get a rec in a few days before recruitment begins.

While not having recs for some of these sororities may limit your opportunities, there are PLENTY of groups at Vandy where recs are not a priority. Don’t let worrying about recs stress you out at this point!

I didn't think your post was curt, but I would like to point out that I'm not blowing the recs thing off. Considering I haven't been very happy with my social life during the first semester (haven't been able to make very many friends or acquaintances), I'm not taking the rush process lightly because I know that it's important. In addition, this is the only time I want to go through with it. I'm not going to rush and then just....not sign a bid card or something, and try it again another semester. I just want to try it once and for all. So, I'm not blowing it off, but I DO have other priorities in my life that I need to deal with when I have time off from school that do not include rush. I have family stuff that needs to be taken care of, and frankly, it needs to be done now rather than when I'm back at school and have a full class schedule to deal with.

I mean honestly, I've had enough of this whole rec crap. If a sorority is gonna be that high maintenance and finicky to where they absolutely must have a rec and personal letters and such in advance in order to extend me a bid(and based on what I saw at fall rounds, it only seems like a few are THAT competitive), then it's probably not the house for me. I mean, during rush, I'll be standing RIGHT THERE. What could a house possibly learn about me from reading a rec written by some random alum that I met with for 30 minutes in a Starbucks that they can't learn just by talking and getting to know me? Ugh, it's extremely frustrating.

If I had known sooner that really, it IS a good thing to have recs, I would have gotten them. Frankly, I just don't have the time between now and rush (nor can I really prioritize it over other issues I have to deal with) to attempt to get them. So I'll go in with no recs, and that's fine with me now. If I get cut from all the houses, that's fine and that'll be my fault.

Anyway, I'm sorry that you're getting frustrated. Just remember that aside from the ones on campus (who, because of dirty rushing allegations, can't even TALK to me), I don't know a single person in a sorority. I don't come from a long line of women in XYZ. I don't know how the process works. I don't know what goes on. I didn't even know that alumni were at the houses at all during rush. This whole thing is new for me, and the Rho Chis that are assigned to try to tell you what exactly goes on really don't do anything more than repeat what's said in the 3 page rush booklet. So please try to be patient with me. It's frustrating for me, too.

You should keep in mind that a lot of recs acquired in order to extend a bid to a PNM aren't necessarily personal recs. They can be just informative recs, based off your resume. I'd venture to say that the chapter would have an informative rec written by an alum before they'd ask you to meet an alum & hang out in a Starbucks together for 30 minutes. Of course this varies chapter by chapter, school by school, but is something that happens.

For some sororities, that is their policy - either nationally or by chapter. That's just how it is. The active members may think it's a load of BS too, but they have to do it.

If you truly are of the mind that "if I get in fine, if I don't fine too" then that's wonderful, but we've had too many PNMs on here that asked what to do to benefit them during rush (like not suiciding, giving all the groups a fair chance) and then didn't follow the advice they were given and were bitterly disappointed.

Alright, it sounds like you need your own recs at your school, so what follows is just general commentary on recs, not directed at the OP.

If a PNM gets a bid, one of the following must be true:

1. The GLO does not require recs.
2. Someone writes the PNM a rec and she does not know about it.
3. The chapter makes an effort to find an alumna who knows the PNM.
4. The chapter advisor/membership advisor writes the rec once the chapter decides to put the PNM on the bid list.
5. The PNM obtains a rec.

Now, the official word on it from Panhellenic usually describes #3, but my guess is that is actually the rarest situation of the 5. I don't want to get into MS in different orgs, but PNM's are being misled fairly often, I fear. I would almost prefer that PHC say something like "MS policies are up to the individual organization".

Amen to that! There is enough drama associated with recruitment in a lot of or maybe most colleges that we don't need to mislead PNMs to cause more.