Agreed. Chapter problems stay in teh chapter and don't involve outsiders.

My wife pledged in college. So did the rest of them. THat is why it is a problem.

As for the rest of you. This is staying in the chapter. I got this info because we communicate in our marriage and trust each other. That may not be the case with everyone here from some of the comments.

I was hopping to get some constructive advice here which I could share with my wife who could then share with her sisters. I do have to say that some of you were very helpfull and constructive while others have not. Worse, some of the attitudes that have appeared here are similar to the women in her sorority. I hope you all do not have similar members who have caused these problems.

And lastly, I want to thank all of you who contacted me via PM for their kindness and help as well as openess.

With all due respect, that's not fair to Greeks brought in through undergraduate chapters. Don't forget that many of our local, regional, and national officers were born at undergrad chapters before they matured at their graduate chapters and were eventually entrusted to lead our organizations. BTW, I came in through my beloved graduate chapter.

Our organizations are made of individuals with different personalities, values, morals, etc. that were established long before they received sorority or fraternity membership cards. If someone is a straight fool, lush, etc. on their journey to become an XYZ, then they probably pulled off an Oscar worthy performance at hiding that from the XYZ members. That fool, lush, etc. will eventually resurface once the aspirant becomes a card carrying member of XYZ. Again, I really don't think that comes with how someone came into their organization because I'm sure everyone has come across an "interesting" member in their chapter or in their metro area, especially in larger cities.

Plus, DSTChaos might have been harsh, but it was the honest truth. If I'm ever so in love with a man to marry him, my heart will be overflowing with love for my hubby and my organization. I'll still love Sigma enough to always remember "Sigma business is SIGMA business." On a side note, it's great that you and the Mrs. seem to be best friends *sniff,sniff*, but she knows the rules.

Why's that a problem again?

LOL.

Anyway, what makes you a "true Greek?"


Don't be sensitive. You can't pick and choose how honesty comes to you. Something isn't any less constructive because you disagree with it.

Now tell your wife to log on so I can constructively tell her to get you out of her chapter's business.

Wow, if my posts were considered harsh then I don't know what to tell him.

Apparently she doesn't know the rules. It's fine to share a little but when it gets to the point where your man is feeling involved and concerned enough to champion the cause for you, you've done too much.

SisterGreek, you might have thrown him off with this:

You know how many different ways "check" has been used in vernacular, like Ice Cube and Das EFX telling folks to "Check yoself befo' you wreck yoself". (Still good advice!) It isn't always considered helpful, especially with a trait like loose lips. That might have been too direct for some.

Fortunately, I can handle direct straight-to-the-point ideas, but everyone can't. That's why I said "might be harsh" rather than "they were harsh". And just like you might tell me you didn't need an explanation. I was bored at work, so what the hey? :p

I still feel funny agreeing with you. :p

This has bothered me for a while. Where does asking for input equal "championing"?

Have I stepped on some toes here?

Nope but apparently I have which is why my comment has "bothered you for a while." Wanna drop it and move on with your life? :)

When Pillow-talking Goes Wrong
:( :(

How can you say pillow talk goes wrong?

I have a question:

Do any of you actually "really" talk to your spouses?

His relentlessness in this thread is why my "champion" comment was made and is probably TRUE.

DTS CHAOS,

I really know what your problem is but why are you going after me now.

I wasn't even replying to you, just the rather unusual "pillow talk" comment.

But lobbint it back to you, why are you so relentless towards me as I think this has gone beyond the question that I have asked.

You keep going without it adding value to the thread, so why not everyone else? You said "do any of you actually really talk to your spouse." Any of you is a general stab at those who question your knowledge of this scenario.

So, anyway the horse is dead and beaten:

Has your question been answered? Has the situation with the chapter improved?

:eek: :p :o :p

Just let this alone and it may either die or go away.

It does no one any good to keep harping on the same thing.

The best advice was to let the wife log on and make her points and ask her questions.