Sdsuchelle,

Go to the ADPi website and download the Potential New Member profile. Fill it out with the girls' name where it requests PNM name and check off the box that says "I do not recommend this woman for membership." Then mail it to the RIM at the university she is attending. That's all. Any of us can do this on our rec forms-- aka a "no rec." Collegians who are not attending the same school can submit recs and "no recs" in many sororities, ADPi being one of those. Then put her out of your head and drop him as a friend b/c he clearly isn't a good friend to you.

Who cares what people think. If you hate her or would be embarassed to call her a sister, no rec her. It's simple and easy.

I actually saw the rec form but was kind of confused about it, since it had SO many fields for information on PNMs. Would I just fill out her name and check "no rec" and leave everything else blank? I mean, I have no idea what her address/phone number/GPA is.

Yeah, I actually stopped talking to him. When I asked him why he wasn't approving my comments on Myspace and he told me it was because she was jealous of me, he told me "just leave me a comment saying something like, 'Oh, Ana and you are so cute together, she is so pretty!' and she'll get over it."

... needless to say I realized having a friendship with him wasn't all that important to me anymore. Haha.

Oh, and Tom -- the guy and I dated in HS and part of college. We're both juniors now, and she's a freshman.

Michelle, just fill in her name and any info you might know about her. At the bottom of the rec, check off the appropriate boxes, sign and send. You can enclose a letter if you want, but it isn't required.

I was part of a membership group after college. One of the girls who my sorority chapter had disaffiliated for psycho behavior applied for membership (which was run a lot like rush - complete with parties, reccs and membership selection). I was appalled - I had seen how she had torn our sorority apart with her behavior.

I was concerned that the other members wouldn't believe me when I told them that this person was an extremely disruptive influence. Fortunately, one of her co-workers spoke up first, saying exactly what I was going to say - that she would be a disruptive influence. Someone else who had encountered her in yet another social circle described several disturbing incidents, and there was very little argument ("well, I thought she was very outgoing and interesting, but if all three of you know her and see potential problems...")

I was concerned that the girl would blame me, but fortunately, she opted to go skiing on the day we did final interviews and selection, so she was out on that technicality. In other cases, we might have made an exception (our group accepted pretty much anyone who was willing to pitch in and wasn't disruptive), but 3 people's collective experience with her gave the membership committee reason NOT to bend the rules.

The problem is that very often psychos can come off as charming, vivacious, outgoing, etc, and people are taken in -- so you can't always assume the members will pick up that she's a potential Drama Queen.

If she doesnt go to your school, then who cares. I don't like many people outside of my chapter (in my fraternity).

I think it's one thing if it's "I don't like her so I don't want her in my sorority" but I think it's completely valid if she believes the girl will cause problems in or for the chapter.

\
This person did not join my GLO, but I was definitely taken in by someone who was charming, vivacious and outgoing. :( :( :(

What?
 

Not to get off topic, but WHY are you even friends with this guy at all? You said he cheated on you, but you called HIM to make ammends?

:confused: :confused: :confused: :confused: :confused: :confused:

Oh, no, he called me first... I just didn't call him back for a long time since I was pissed.

I don't really hold grudges... so I wanted to at least be on okay terms with him.

So uhm, whenever I make my way out west for hunting and such, meeting brothers from other chapters always make me say "WTF he joined my fraternity?"

But I still don't get why you even care about this situation, unless she's going to join your particular chapter. Doesn't she go to a different school, and wouldn't there be a chance she would join a completely different sorority? Why would you have to deal with her at all?

I am not saying that this girl was in the right for hooking up with your boyfriend, but the blame is just as much HIS. He could have turned her down or chosen not to pursue her. I don't think it's right to sabotage her chances of joining a sorority because your boyfriend chose to cheat on you. I think you should just let it go unless she tries to join your particular chapter.

What if you got into a bad situation with someone who is currently a sister of yours? What would you do then? Would you say that you "wouldn't be able to live" with that woman in your organization? Just deal with it if it happens. You're going to have to deal with people you don't like for the rest of your life.

So, cut them both out or You life!

You really are not in it are you?

They moved on and maybe you should also.

Hell, maybe you have not met the Man of your dreams.:confused:

I know -- I blame him a LOT more, and I would be completely fine with the girl if she wasn't a complete stalker psycho. Whenever I randomly see him or her, I try to be nice, but she's just a total bitch to me.

I don't feel that she would be an asset to the sorority - just a problem.

Then you are within your rights to write the no-rec and send it in... maybe the rest of this discussion belongs in Dating and Relationships. ;)