Originally Posted by SummerChild (Post 1416867)

Come on ya'll PLEEEEEASE stop with all of this hard work crap.
Everybody on this board knows that it only takes being considered to be in the upper crust and having a connection to get into J&J, the Links, etc. I know from personal experience (not with J&J but with the Links). I had to exhibit absolutely NO hard work to have a Link who was the mother of a guy that I was dating (and who wanted me to get married to her son) ask me if I wanted to join her Links chapter. We decided that it would not have made sense b/c I was moving to another state for lawschool (I was an engineer at the time). No hard work there...just connections.

We all know that these organizations are all about ELITISM. The woman that I referred to above told me, for example, that when her children were in J&J, the chapter did not take single mothers (no matter how HARD they worked) and did not take families that had a blue collar father (no matter how HARD he worked to support his family). If you're not considered to be one of the elite and upper crust, sorry for ya. That seems to be how these orgs roll.

Not to say anything bad about them but just to keep it REAL cause ya'll are driving me crazy with all this hard work crap. :)

Now my personal opinion is that you can expose your kids to other positive AA kids and role models w/out putting them into an elitist org wherein they will never interact with other AA kids that are more typical to the economic levels of most AA kids. Not saying anything is wrong with J&J but it is not a NECESSITY to have well exposed kids. Similarly, the Links is not a necessity. It's a whole bunch of money and if you're already in the most prestigious sisterhood on the globe, what time will you have for the Links? Unless you're just going to be a member in name only or you just like spending all of your time in meetings away from your man and/or kids. If you just like GIVING AWAY YOUR MONEY then give it to me. :)

SC

Originally Posted by sigmadiva (Post 1416911)

I have to say a 'Ditto, amen' to this also. When my sister and I were little, my mom's sorority sister asked my mom if she wanted to get us into J&J. My mom considered it and asked what was required. My mom's sorority sister told my mom that she needed to submit her and my dad's income tax statement from the previous year. My mom said no thanks.


A lot of the activites that are done in J&J we did as a family. I think my sister and I got more out of that than we probably would have had we done those things through J&J. Bottom line, I'm sure that it is great to be in J&J, but it is not the end of the world if your kids are not in it.

Oh, I know some of those J&J kids, and they did not turn out any better or worse than we did (my sister and I).

Originally Posted by jubilance1922 (Post 1416978)

This a great discussion.

My hometown doesn't have J&J, but we do have a similar org, which was actually co-founded by a Past National President of Delta Sigma Theta. It was very much an "elite" organization, and it was well known that only girls from certain families would be invited to join. My parents were from the ghetto, and not from my hometown, so I guess we (or should I say I) wasn't good enough. Even though I'm one generation from the projects, I feel like I'm doing good to be only 24 with 2 degrees and a job that I love.

Who knows, maybe when I grow up and get married and have kids, maybe I'll be cool enough to be invited to J&J.

Originally Posted by Little32 (Post 1417068)

I thought that the mention of hard work was in reference to AKA_Monet's statement about creating change in our respective and collective communities--not about getting invited to join one of these organizations.

Originally Posted by NiaX (Post 1417137)

You better stop that Jubi! You are too cool! :D

Originally Posted by jubilance1922 (Post 1416978)

This a great discussion.

My hometown doesn't have J&J, but we do have a similar org, which was actually co-founded by a Past National President of Delta Sigma Theta. It was very much an "elite" organization, and it was well known that only girls from certain families would be invited to join. My parents were from the ghetto, and not from my hometown, so I guess we (or should I say I) wasn't good enough. Even though I'm one generation from the projects, I feel like I'm doing good to be only 24 with 2 degrees and a job that I love.

Who knows, maybe when I grow up and get married and have kids, maybe I'll be cool enough to be invited to J&J.

Originally Posted by Krucial Keys (Post 1420734)

Personally I was invited. However my family had great connections working within the organization itself.

I will say one thing as much animosity as I have encountered from my college peers when they discover I was a member of this organization, I don't regret a min of being apart of J&J. I have met some of my most reliable and caring friends through J&J. Not to mention the lifelong network that was bulid between the members.

The ironic part was when I was in jr high and high school, my peers who were nots members were encouraging to me being a part of j and j. It was only when I got to college particullay in an Afro-Am studies class that I was treated negatively for my invovlement in Jack and Jill's. I had never experienced that b4 and was quite surprise that other black folks had such a problem with the organization.It was a most def a eye opening experience.

Originally Posted by AKA_Monet (Post 1416810)

To put it bluntly, no. If you do not have networking connections, then you will not have these experiences. Yes, it sucks. This is the way the "game" is played. Even though there have been significant strides to make a "level playing field" over the last 50 years, the world still operates that way. Anyone who tells you it is different, is lying to you. Yes, it is crap.

Your question is: Can it be different or changed?

In some regions or areas of the country--the United States, no. In some other regions of this country, yes.

What does it take to change, A LOT of hardwork, energy and effort. In ALL that you do, it has to be that.

For me to finagle all this, yes, I had to be a project whore. I had to attend bullisht-azzed meetings until the middle of night, spend several night away from my husband, get up EARLY in the morning to slang stuff.

That is the "name of the game".

And see, my husband thinks it is ALL about one's brain or intelligence... Yes, intelligence only allows to KEEP your job. But getting in there and meeting folks--NETWORKING--that is where you need to be...

Unsure about where to start?

COMMUNITY SERVICE in your area of interest... Non-profits always need help, that's a guarentee. In fact, in some med school, it is a requirement for admission...