I think we ended up picking Sparkletts because it could be found at any supermarket in the L.A. area :D

This is exactly why I would have never lasted as a Panhellenic rep!
By the time Rush would start, I would have been bald from pulling my hair out over silly debates like this!
I call it "majoring in the minors!"

It's pretty funny when I look back on it. I loved being on panhellenic, actually, and I preferred being on that side of rush. Disaffiliation was not fun, but on the other hand, the Rho Chis were basically our own little sorority. I also thought it was interesting getting to hear the comments from PNMs on all the sororities and seeing how releases, bid matching, etc. works from the panhellenic perspective.

The one year I was with my chapter during rush, I found it very stressful in comparison. Our rush advisor was from a southern univ. and was used to a totally different type of recruitment. Some of her tricks and tips made us giggle or roll our eyes, BUT I do have to say that our preference room looked like Heaven on Earth, and blew everyone else's away.

B/c advising is a volunteer position and people move. ;)

some of our consultants are paired with schools that had similar "greek culture." But i think a little diversity can add fresh air to a recruitment style. However, it was interesting talking with our consultant from a larger Washington state school, when I was at an east coast small private school!

Back to my original question-- what does the PNM say to such an invitation if she is asked and does not feel comfortable accepting, knowing it is against the rules and caring that it is against the rules?

Weeeeeeell, to avoid offending anyone she could be like "I'd love to! But wait-isn't that against rush rules or something?" and then go from there. Sort of playing dumb (which I NEVER advocate except in this particular type of situation) in order to avoid looking like the Rush Rules Enforcer Marshall or something.

"Thank you for your kind invitation and for thinking of me. Unfortunately, I am unable to attend. Perhaps we can get together at a later date."

It seems a little formal for college aged conversation.... Plus, it sounds like a polite way to say "I'm not interested".

Something like "That would be so fun! But isn't it against the rules? I don't want to get you guys in trouble..." That way it looks like she's looking out for them.

Once the sorority members realize that she knows it's against the rules and questioned them about it, I bet they would back off (if they're smart they would).

True. The tone of the reply should "fit" the tone of the invitation.

The issue is how to be polite and interested, yet decline the invite. All the while avoiding opening up the conversation as to "why" she won't accept the bid. If she says, "That is totally cool. But isn't that against the rules?" might not get her a bid during formal rush. So perhaps something like "Thanks, that sounds like fun. Unfortunately, I can't make it." Or "Wow. That is so something I would love to do. But I can't make it Friday. Maybe sometime later." (Or what ever vernacular the kids are using these days.)

I agree. This is an excellent way to reply.

ok that is being wayyy too superficial and image concious... not to mention a bit psycho. If i rushed at a house where the girls all dressed exactly the same, and I'd guess LOOKED the same, I think i would have run out screaming.