Jestor, you have to be pretty old compared to most of the other guys going through rush at this point. Truth be told, if I doubt that based on what I know about you, even with your good grades, I don't think I'd want to give you a bid. Most of your pledge brothers are going to be 18-19 year old kids. Your pledge trainer will probably be around 19-20 YO.

Greek life isn't for everyone.

Are you sure you want to do Greek Life? Because, quite honestly, it seems like you have a lot on your plate and a lot of decisions to make. If I were you, I would concentrate on getting my academic life together, as it looks like that should be your biggest concern right now.

Beyond the grades, the fact that you've been at 5 schools already shows that you have other things you should be taking care of first.

This is highly dependent on the school and on the Greek system. My school has a pretty laid-back system and there are frequently pledges age 21-25, particularly military guys or transfer students. However, 18-19 is still probably the NORM; it's just not entirely abnormal to be older.

My Main thought, is Why Change schools so many times?

School Pamphlets tell what Degrees show, what is offered for Programs and Degrees. If they dont have one, why go to that school?

Granted, I went for 7 Years, but I changed Schools and Majors only once.

Your GPA doesnt seem to be the problem, Your choice of making up Your mind is the problem.

You need some sort of leadership and It is not Greek. That is why I suggested the Military. Direction which You seem not to have.:(

If not a trade school, how about a Tech School?

I don't see anything wrong with attending as many schools necessary to insure someone gets the education that is best for them. There is even a recent thread on Greek Chat about that. Half have attended more than one college???

Jester, best of luck with what ever your choice may be.

There's a HUGE difference between going to more than 1 school and going to FIVE different schools. That statistic is also highly skewed, because it counts kids who took college classes in high school, or a summer class at a local college between years in college.

Jestor, you need to figure out what the hell you want to do with your life. I'm not sure how old you are, but you're no spring chicken. It's time to get on with your life. What do you have to show for these last few years of your life?

Any org that looks at your rap sheet here will think that you have a major commitment issue. You may be all dead set on whatever you want your major to be, but after you're there a month or two you may end up wanting to transfer again. Why should they put their time, energy, trust, and money into you?

You admit to screwing up, that's fine. But it's time to focus on making things right. Worrying about extracirriculars such as Greek life should be the least of your concerns right now.

That's the thing. I *didn't* know for sure what I wanted to do with my life until midway through this semester.

Now I know for sure what I want to do with my life and I'm transferring to a school that offers that particular major. I can't believe it took me this long to figure it out, but it did, and that's that. And hell I'd rather take until 26 to figure it out than be like some people who don't figure it out until their 30s and 40s and have to start over again or worse, who never figure it out.

Now granted, had I known before this semester, I wouldn't have transferred to Wyoming, but I didn't and so I did. But I don't regret my experiences here. It's taught me a lot about myself and given me a lot of my self-confidence back.

I realize you all mean well here, but frankly I have to say I'm a little angry at the sudden backlash. But it's a good kind of angry... The angry that makes me determined to prove everyone who seems to be doubting wrong.

The military thing, ironically enough, relates to this. I couldn't join the military even if I wanted to (though up until my sophomore year in high school I seriously considered joining the Navy) because of my hearing impairment.

Growing up, I had quite a few teachers who doubted my intellectual capability because of that impairment. That only pissed me off and motivated me to prove them wrong, which I did.

If I was still not certain what I want to do in life, then yes, a lot of this advice would be much more applicable, but again midway through this semester, I finally figured out and experienced one of those "Duh! Of course!" moments.

And as for the age thing, I was 26 this fall semester and got two bids during Rush... so I'm obviously doing something right.

Atta boy blue!

Seriously though, many national organizations actually have rules against pledging guys your age -- pretty sure mine does. Well good luck or whatever. We're clueless as to what kind of guy you are on here, the fellas out there giving bids have a better chance to get to know you.

Also, 2 bids in fraternity rush isn't all that amazing. Often, there are chapters that have to bid anyone with a heartbeat just to pay the bills. What the hell do I know though? You could go to one of those organizations and be an asset.

So this school has an event planning major? I didn't even know such a thing actually existed. And I didn't know you had to have any particular major to get a job in that field.

You just seem like a person who can't commit to anything. You've bounced from school to school, and made no progress. You've been in undergrad for what- 7 years now? And you're still not done? I think you actually started college before me, or at the very least at the same time... and i've been done and have graduated from law school.

You were SO into pledging Sigma Chi, but had doubts after a month and then quit. What's going to be so different about a new group at a new school?

You've gotta be able to see why people would think you have committment issues. What we're saying here is what people will be saying or asking you at your new school.

Yes, you got bids at this school, but that has no effect on whether or not you'll get bids at this new school. You might not get any bids.

I think people, including myself, get so frustrated with people who bounce around like this. Especially when they want to join one of our orgs. Most of us here have worked hard for our orgs, have dedicated much of our time. People who can't commit sometimes join. We try and try with them, spend so much time and effort on them, and then they quit or transfer or just never do anything.

You're going to face negative reactions until you prove yourself. So far, you haven't done anything to prove yourself. We don't know you, so it's not personal, you're a character on the screen. YOu don't have a ton of posts, so all we're going on is what you've presented to us.

Good luck to you with getting your life together, but really think about if Greek life is right for you. And if you'd be right for greek life. Because if you can't commit, don't get yourself into it to begin with.

Ok. I really wasn't going to comment, but looking how out of hand some of these comments are getting . . I will.

You are male.

Your age is not going to matter much IF the chapters like you. I mean if you are prematurely gray, your face is lined, maybe you are balding . . well that can interfere with your social acceptance . . . but its probably not that bad because you did get two bids from your previous school.

Remember ladies, that NIC groups usually don't socially discriminate like NPC groups. And men are usually less socially superficial than women.

You going to 5 colleges is not really going to be a big deal for a NIC group either. And before everyone judges him, remember that many of the most successful people in the world dropped out of college or didn't go.

So who cares if he jumps around? How is that indicative of horrible character?

Now. People are giving you (JEstor) a hard time, and I think they are giving you a hard time because they are dancing around what might be really bothering them.

After all, you already got bids, so they should have no reason to suspect you wouldn't get one at a new campus right?

Ok. Well here is the unpleasant truth. On these boards you come across as someone that is kind of whiny and effeminate.

Now if you just love the Cock, thats ok.

If you are just stereotypically effeminate, thats ok too.

But you have to realize that most people have a "concept" in their minds of what a fraternity male should "look" like. And usually that idea is pretty masculine.

Wheras you appear at times to be the kind of guy that may have gotten really upset because you didn't get My Little Pony and a Betty Crocker oven.

You cry at male bonding situations and you want to be a wedding planner. OH, and you haven't fallen into a wedding planner career, you actually want to go to school for it.

So what I think is going on here, based on some conversations I have had with people, is that you are catching passive/agressive flack from people that are more uncomfortable with your seeming effiminancy then any genuine resume issues.

A bit of displacement.

So ignore all the feedback about your age, or changing schools, and consider that a lot of people are generally uncomfortable with men that demonstrate too many feminine gender traits.

I am going to submit this before I become more awake and delete it.

Age aside, I'd say if people knew your track record, they'd turn you away like crazy. Like others have said, it seems like you have a huge commitment problem. You dive into things, then bail when you change your mind. Greek life isn't just something you do for awhile. It's for life. They want people who will commit for a lifetime, and with your track record, it doesn't look like you will.

Greek life isn't for everyone. I'd focus more on making sure you know what you want to do with your life. After you're sure of that, then maybe explore it. Until then, I'd get my priorities straight.

About the wole wedding planning/event planning thing, after talking to people on here about it and doing more research, I realized that it wasn't for me. Could I do it and do it well? Yes, but it wasn't something I'd feel passionate about.

One night, I was walking along when I had that epiphanic moment that everyone talks about. "Jestor, you great blooming ruddy idiot! Isn't it obvious? You want to be a a coach!" my mind said.

Well, okay, it wasn't that sudden. It was more like, I started thinking about happiness and why I still seemed to have a sense of restlessness and uncertainty. Then I remembered that the times I've been happiest in my life have been when I've been coaching, both in practice and particularly during games.

Like I said, I feel like a moron for not figuring it out sooner, but that's what happened and so there you go.

And yes, there was a period where I had doubts about Sigma Chi, but I'd gotten over them and was going to initiate, because I liked the guys in the chapter and was really getting comfortable like before and all, but then I had the revelation I described above and I knew I wasn't going to stay. Now, had there been a chapter at the school I'm transferring to, then I would have initiated and gone through the process that the other chapter required. At the time I started this thread, I still hadn't realized what I know now.

Do I have an effeminate personality? I'm certainly not going to deny that one. I prefer to think of it more in terms of a poetic/lyric light, but considering I'm male, effeminate is an apt enough descriptor.

Am I gay or bisexual? No. While I can appreciate good looks in both men and women, the lone sphere of my sexual attraction and desire is with women.

Moving right along, I'm well aware that Greek life is forever. I know that. While I might seem a dilletante in many respects, there are other areas where I remain firmly committed. This will be one of them.

I know without any question that the career path I'm heading towards is where I belong, that the school I'm going to next is where I belong, and that my Greek home will be found there.

Doubt as you will, as it is only logical for a lot of you to do at this point in time. But I will prove your doubts in error and I look forward to doing so.

As often happens, James tries to talk like he knows everything. I don't agree at all with what James said, for the record, since he is trying to speak for everyone. I doubt that he spoke to ANYONE who posted in this thread. Sure didn't talk to me, and I know that there's a lot of other people that certainly wouldn't talk to him about it.

I don't give a shit which way you play. It might not be very endearing towards a potential fraternity and might hurt you with a bid, but I really couldn't give a flying duck. And though I do agree with James that you come off here as very effeminate, that has nothing to do with what i've posted. And again, I disagree with pretty much all James said.

Good luck with coaching. It's a VERY tough field to get into, especially for someone who hasn't played the sport on a college level (which i'm assuming you haven't, since you've transferred so much there's no way you could even be eligible to play an NCAA sport). High school jobs are part time (and pay, literally, peanuts), some college jobs are as well. What sport do you want to coach?

I thought that for most coaches, it was a hobby, not a profession. I don't mean to knock your dream, but it doesn't seem like a practical thing.

Either soccer or basketball. My coaching experience thus far has all been in soccer, though. I know it's a tough field to get into, but I know I can make a go of it with determination, hard work, networking, and luck.

Most coaches do have coaching as a part-time job and do something else in the offseason, but that depends, at least collegiately speaking, on what division you're talking about and what position you're talking about. I know lower-division assistant coaches, which is probably where I'd have to start out and then work my way up, usually make about $10,000 a year... so I'd have to work two jobs until I work my way up the ranks to a position where I can afford to have coaching as my only full-time job.

If I was going to go the high school route, then I'd get licensed as a teacher, since most school districts have the rule that if a teacher and a non-teacher both apply for a coaching job, the job goes to the teacher, qualifications be damned.

I almost took a junior varsity soccer coaching position a couple years back and that would have paid $1,000 for the season, so I have some idea of salary regions there too. I wound up not taking it as it would have meant three hours a day commuting and with my class schedule at the time, it would have been taking on too much without having schoolwork suffer.

But thanks for the well wishes. :)