You have proven my point. Maybe it is too subtle, but it is right in your quote. What identity are you losing? A woman gains the title of wife, homemaker, mother. You are still your parents daughter and an individual, but a wife first. Your indivuality and family ties become secondary. Hillary ceased being a wife to her husband and became a business partner, thats why she added her maiden name. Your question implies that the traditions of marriage either stifle or subjugate a woman and her sense of self or individuality. On keeping maiden names in the family, I know many white people who have their mothers maiden name as their middle name (girls included).

I wanted to keep names in the family, but my father and uncles all have "slave" names like Rufus, Leroy, and Floyd. I looked at my son and said "I can't do that to you little fella". My son has a sensible first name, neutral (not trendy white suburban and not ghetto),his name connotes power and authority and is very professional. His first middle name is my fathers first name, and his 2nd middle name is African.

It is not uncommon for southern Black women who were not given middle names at birth, to use their maiden name as a middle name after they marry. My stepmother has done this and I know of others who have done this also.

It's not just a 'white' thing.

Just because I marry you doesn't mean I'll become a mother or homemaker, but yes I am your wife. It doesn't matter what name I use. We have the certificate and have taken vows so, I am your wife regardless of if my name is hyphenated or not. For example, if my last name was Kennedy. That name has a lot of history to it, but if I marry Joe Blow and don't include that, I think I've lost a part of my history/identity/self.

"Hillary ceased being a wife to her husband and became a business partner, thats why she added her maiden name."

She is his wife and he is her husband. It's a partnership and not a business. If she was to leave him and his name today, she would have to go through a lot of paper work to go back to her maiden name.

"I wanted to keep names in the family, but my father and uncles all have "slave" names like Rufus, Leroy, and Floyd. I looked at my son and said "I can't do that to you little fella". My son has a sensible first name, neutral (not trendy white suburban and not ghetto),his name connotes power and authority and is very professional. His first middle name is my fathers first name, and his 2nd middle name is African."

Yes, they may considered "slave" names, but they're family names too. I'm named after my Dad and he was named after a white man my grandmother worked for. Our last name comes from a slave owner in Alabama. So there is history right there.

All in Coleman Luv....



[This message has been edited by c&c1913 (edited November 01, 2000).]

His first name is william c.
And it took almost an entire year to convince the social security office that I was sure that was his name, but that is another story all together http://www.greekchat.com/forums/ubb/smile.gif

As far as the changing name after marrage thing, I must say that I think I would have no problem taking my husband's name completely. However, I remeber when I was thinking about going into politics and I was engaged at that time (another long story) but he had a common last name, Jackson and my last name is not as common, so I thought of keeping my name, because I knew that people would remeber me in the community, also my brother (who had my last name) was a semi-celebrity basketball player of the region I lived in so I wanted to keep my name just for the effect it would have. But to make a long story short, while I was engaged and me and my fiance' lived together and ordered wedding things I always used his name because I didn't have to spell it out, also we did find that it was easier to do somethinghs by me just answering to ms. Jackson, and it just became habit. To this day there are times when I will call-in a food order and with out thinking say Jackson as the last name, (something that I truly want to stop doing)

But that was completely off the subject. My point is that if I had became married and still went into politics, my name would have been a better one for me and this is why some women, especially ones with established careers keep there name

We will agree to disagree. Obviously, you don't get the point. Why would I marry a woman who didn't want to be a wife (i.e mother and homemaker) There is more to a marriage than spousal companionship. Marriage is not a partnership, it is an institution unto itself like no other. Hillary is Clinton's partner and thats it. He gets professional support from her and he gives her her platform and sense of importance. But she is not his wife or else he wouldn't be getting head in the Oval Office. She stated herself that she is no "Tammy Wynette." But I digress. I love you anyway Soror, much Coleman luv (or should that be Brown-Coleman luv, lol)

Thanks blu_theatrics,
Like I said earlier, I think there is something POWERFUL about giving your child a family name--even if it is something unusual or 'old-fashioned' (I refuse to say 'slave names' like someone else did--there were no Africans that I know of before colonization named Robert or Michael or any other 'nice' names). My husband's family has that tradition and I hope to continue it.

Ohhhhhh....I wouldn't go there if I were you, brother!!

If I recall correctly, you were the one who said Hillary became Bill's business partner.

I was looking at the wife, mother, homemaker idealism from what would be considered "non-tradititonal" to most people. What if the couple is infertile or chooses not to have children? There goes the mother part. Or if the husband likes to cook, clean, and do other household chores? Some women can't cook, sew, or keep a house, so there went the homemaker. But in the end, they are still husband and wife. That's the point of that issue I was trying to make.

LOL@ Brown-Coleman Luv.... http://www.greekchat.com/forums/ubb/smile.gif

[QUOTE]Originally posted by DoggyStyle82:
On keeping maiden names in the family, I know many white people who have their mothers maiden name as their middle name (girls included).

I also wanted to add that 6 of Sigma Gamma Rho's 7 founders names are listed on the international website in this form (first name, maiden name, married name). That just goes to show that you don't have to be white to use your maiden name as as middle name. http://www.greekchat.com/forums/ubb/biggrin.gif

Mary Lou Allison Little, Dorothy Hanley Whiteside, Vivian White Marbury, Nannie Mae Gahn Johnson, Hattie Mae Dulin Redford and Bessie M. Downey Martin.

[This message has been edited by MIDWESTDIVA (edited November 05, 2000).]

People never know what to expect when I go to a job interview. I am a black woman, but my first name is Indian, and my last name is Jewish.

OH No, you didn't Original Ape!!I thing we(women) have been doing a wonderful job naming our children. Some of these names have special meaning behind them. For example, my sister just had a baby last week and she named her Micaah,which is a book from the bible.

Names are getting ridiculous because look who's naming them! Baby Mamas!

The next question is, does SHE know why that book is important? Has she even read the book? What about that book makes it more special than any other book in the Bible? Or did she just like the way it sounds and therefore it is special?

I gotta go with Original Ape on this one. It seems like people are being too selfish. Its not aobut the child anymore, its about what type of syllables, or things, or objects the parent likes. People gove their dogs better names than the kids!

I don't know what I'll do if I meet another child named Corvosier (I've met 2 already).
I even know a little boy whose first name is Taekwon ( I am unsure of the spelling)--but guess what his middle name is.....

Great topic all the way round, LOL!
These names is outrageous, I agree with TOA, Babies naming babies. They think they are playing with dolls. Also Straightbos(sp), who said lets try to raise unique individuals(paraphrasing).
Oddly enough I agree with Doggystyle(after 2 divorces). I kept my maiden name(hyphinated), which has alot to do with attidue about marriage. My intentions was that I was keeping my maiden name because I am an only child, and wanted apart of my dad to stay.

i agree with original ape too.... (if i'm interpreting correctly what he's trying to say)

there's a difference between mature mothers and little chicken head baby mamas (i know ima take some heat for that one!)

sometimes i wonder... "no really, you thought that was cute?"