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SisterMadly and LadyGreek

I never wanted to turn this into a referendum on homosexuality or gay-bashing or Bible thumping. I simply was stating how disappointed I am in what is happening to our Black men and to what degree does that affect/effect our Sisters, especially psychologically when dealing with Black Men and you have to discern their sexual proclivities.

That's cool, PerroLoco. I can respect that. I guess the thing that confuses me is that I know that this DL thing isn't anything new in Black communities. I think what's happened is that a lot of gay black men like the brother who wrote the book (I forget his name) are reaching a level of comfort in discussing their sexuality openly, and that just brings the whole DL thing into the forefront.

Sisters need to take responsibility for their own sexual health. I'm not saying regard every brother with suspicion and negative energy, because that's counterproductive. But unless you're 100% certain that your man isn't sneaking around with you with another partner -- regardless of that partner's gender -- take steps to protect yourselves. Be open, but don't be a fool.

A brother who truly loved and respected a sister would respect that sister's request to suit up. Maybe I'm living in a dreamworld, but I think that if they can't get with you on that level, they don't deserve to get with you on any other level.

Quote:

Originally posted by unknown2u
I'm not a homophobic by any means, but I just don't understand people who profess and claim to be Christian can justify being a homosexual when the Bible clearly states not only in the Old Testament but the New Testament as well that Homosexuality is an abomination towards God. Not only that, but it stops procreation, not saying that all people are suppose to procreate. But it goes against what God designed us as humans to be.

As it pertains to Black people, I am a little fed-up with the DL because black families are already on the decline. We already have to deal with absent Black males from the family. So this whole DL thing is just another way for Satan to kill the Black family. Look at it, over time there have been many ways whites, society and Satan have tried to destroy the Black family (i.e slavery). It is because essentially the families are going to produce some positivity in this nation. I said that to say this DL is causing more divorce, women are now suffering from low self-esteem, anxiety and HIV all because of this sin and abomination.

You may not like what I say, you don't have to agree with it. But ye shall know the truth and the truth shall set you free!!

Wow! :(

Quote:

Originally posted by Sistermadly
That's cool, PerroLoco. I can respect that. I guess the thing that confuses me is that I know that this DL thing isn't anything new in Black communities. I think what's happened is that a lot of gay black men like the brother who wrote the book (I forget his name) are reaching a level of comfort in discussing their sexuality openly, and that just brings the whole DL thing into the forefront.

Sisters need to take responsibility for their own sexual health. I'm not saying regard every brother with suspicion and negative energy, because that's counterproductive. But unless you're 100% certain that your man isn't sneaking around with you with another partner -- regardless of that partner's gender -- take steps to protect yourselves. Be open, but don't be a fool.

A brother who truly loved and respected a sister would respect that sister's request to suit up. Maybe I'm living in a dreamworld, but I think that if they can't get with you on that level, they don't deserve to get with you on any other level.

Get outta my head! :D

I wonder if JL King is laughing all the way to the bank at this paranoid frenzy he has whipped up?

Sistermadly, you are so incredibly on point. Men who sleep with men while having relationships with women is nothing new. This has been going on for decades (if not centuries).

Ladies, don't allow your "paranoia to destroy ya'." Protect yourself. Period.

unknown2u-please provide data that proves your assertions.

Quote:

I said that to say this DL is causing more divorce, women are now suffering from low self-esteem, anxiety and HIV all because of this sin and abomination.

I laughed.

My research is on a personal level. 4 of the young ladies who lived with me were both HIV positive and homeless because their husband (not boyfriend) had exposed themselves as being homosexual and had been carrying HIV without telling them. After they found out, 3 of the wome filed for divorce, the other woman's husband left her.

I'm sure people are shocked by my comments, some are even upset. If you are NOT a believer of Christ then I understand. Four years of go, I would have responded the same way. But until you know the Father than your spiritual eyes can be opened and all of this will make sense. :D

Be Blessed!

I just saw this story on the LA Times website. Since it's related to the thread, I thought I'd post it here:

Forum Stresses HIV Threat to Black Women
Many are infected by men who have had sex with other men, activists say. Poor attendance at the event is seen as a sign of community denial.

By Rong-Gong Lin II
Times Staff Writer

October 2, 2005

Many in the African American community are alarmingly silent about the threat HIV poses to black women.

That was the message from black HIV experts and activists at an AIDS forum Saturday at King/Drew Magnet High School of Medicine & Science in Willowbrook.

Nearly seven in 10 women newly diagnosed with AIDS are black, even though they make up just 12% of the female population, panelists said.

"There's a lot of things in our community that we don't want to talk about," said Carla Bailey, a 50-year-old African American who is HIV-positive and sits on Los Angeles County's HIV commission. "It begins and ends with us."

The challenge was evident in the paltry turnout at the second annual event titled "The Cost and Casualties of Silence." Fewer than 75 people showed up — barely filling a quarter of the seats in the school auditorium.

"This is sad," said Tony Wafford, a one-time publicist for entertainers such as Miles Davis and Eddie Murphy who now works on HIV activism full time. "It's hard to come up and hear some truth."

There is still a misperception among some African Americans that HIV affects only gay white men, prostitutes and drug addicts, said Carrie Broadus, executive director of Women Alive, a South Los Angeles-based organization that provides support for HIV-positive women, predominantly those who are black and Latina.

"The women we serve, they're wives, they're professionals … in what we call monogamous relationships, but they're getting infected" by their male partners, Broadus said.

In fact, these men often have sexual relationships with other men, or have come from prison, where such sex is not uncommon, Broadus and others said.

These men on the "downlow" become infected through unprotected sex and bring the virus home to their unwitting female partners, said former Assemblyman Roderick Wright.

Because African American men who have sex with men are often stigmatized within their community, Wright said, it's difficult to discuss the problem openly.

"If in the community we're going to stigmatize this, then they [black men] are not going to confront this," he said

Becoming infected is often a surprise for women who believe they are in monogamous relationships.

Indeed, when Bailey was nagged by her sister to get an HIV test 10 years ago, she was shocked at the results.

Not only was she HIV-positive, but she had full-blown AIDS and only 12 T-cells left in her body. A healthy person normally has at least 600 T-cells, which are a crucial part of the immune system.

"I wasn't doing drugs. I wasn't out running out with men," Bailey said. "I would have never guessed it in a million years."

In retrospect, she believes she was probably infected by her former fiance, a pilot who flew internationally and with whom she had a seven-year relationship. He was said to have died from cancer in 1992, but Bailey's sister thought the cause might have been AIDS and pushed Bailey to get tested.

More people need to acknowledge the risk — as well as advocate condom use and HIV testing — to partners, family members and community members, activists and experts said Saturday.

"A lot of folks are still being silent," said television actress Sheryl Lee Ralph. "God created human beings, and he hard-wired us to have sex…. They always said [AIDS] was a gay white man's disease. But it's a human disease.

"Disproportionately, it is about us," she said. "I am sorry to the point of tears that we refuse to hear it."

Overall, 47% of those living with HIV in the United States are black, the highest rate among any racial group, according to 2003 figures. AIDS was the leading cause of death for black women ages 24 to 34 in 2002.

Activists said it's important for more prominent black organizations, especially churches, to take a broader role in educating people about the epidemic.

"If we don't do something quickly, black women in this country will be in the same position white gay boys in San Francisco were [once] in," Wafford said.

would you happen to know if these same women upon reflection, realized that their spouses had been giving them 'clues' all along? i ask this because often times women feel that they can change their mates. with that, they tolerate behavior and mentally excuse their partners for wrongdoings.

i do not feel that DL behavior is totally responsible for the decline of the black family. that is somewhat unfair but i do understand why you feel that.

you dont have to be a christian to not understand or the be taken aback. personally that sounds a bit haughty. the worst thing for any 'sinner' is to be judged by people professing to be a child of God. we are all sinners.

im sure you are in constant prayer for your friends. i hope your prayer extends to these men who lied to their spouses and to themselves.

on a side note: i do hope that j.l. king is giving all of his money to charity. personally, i have a problem with someone profiting of living a life of lies and deception.

Quote:

Originally posted by unknown2u
My research is on a personal level. 4 of the young ladies who lived with me were both HIV positive and homeless because their husband (not boyfriend) had exposed themselves as being homosexual and had been carrying HIV without telling them. After they found out, 3 of the wome filed for divorce, the other woman's husband left her.

I'm sure people are shocked by my comments, some are even upset. If you are NOT a believer of Christ then I understand. Four years of go, I would have responded the same way. But until you know the Father than your spiritual eyes can be opened and all of this will make sense. :D

Be Blessed!

Re: Kind of Related

that is a great article. there are alot of 'things' we dont discuss and its a shame that our community is not more empowered to do so.

Quote:

Originally posted by Sistermadly
I just saw this story on the LA Times website. Since it's related to the thread, I thought I'd post it here:

Forum Stresses HIV Threat to Black Women
Many are infected by men who have had sex with other men, activists say. Poor attendance at the event is seen as a sign of community denial.

By Rong-Gong Lin II
Times Staff Writer

October 2, 2005

Many in the African American community are alarmingly silent about the threat HIV poses to black women.

That was the message from black HIV experts and activists at an AIDS forum Saturday at King/Drew Magnet High School of Medicine & Science in Willowbrook.

Nearly seven in 10 women newly diagnosed with AIDS are black, even though they make up just 12% of the female population, panelists said.

"There's a lot of things in our community that we don't want to talk about," said Carla Bailey, a 50-year-old African American who is HIV-positive and sits on Los Angeles County's HIV commission. "It begins and ends with us."

The challenge was evident in the paltry turnout at the second annual event titled "The Cost and Casualties of Silence." Fewer than 75 people showed up — barely filling a quarter of the seats in the school auditorium.

"This is sad," said Tony Wafford, a one-time publicist for entertainers such as Miles Davis and Eddie Murphy who now works on HIV activism full time. "It's hard to come up and hear some truth."

There is still a misperception among some African Americans that HIV affects only gay white men, prostitutes and drug addicts, said Carrie Broadus, executive director of Women Alive, a South Los Angeles-based organization that provides support for HIV-positive women, predominantly those who are black and Latina.

"The women we serve, they're wives, they're professionals … in what we call monogamous relationships, but they're getting infected" by their male partners, Broadus said.

In fact, these men often have sexual relationships with other men, or have come from prison, where such sex is not uncommon, Broadus and others said.

These men on the "downlow" become infected through unprotected sex and bring the virus home to their unwitting female partners, said former Assemblyman Roderick Wright.

Because African American men who have sex with men are often stigmatized within their community, Wright said, it's difficult to discuss the problem openly.

"If in the community we're going to stigmatize this, then they [black men] are not going to confront this," he said

Becoming infected is often a surprise for women who believe they are in monogamous relationships.

Indeed, when Bailey was nagged by her sister to get an HIV test 10 years ago, she was shocked at the results.

Not only was she HIV-positive, but she had full-blown AIDS and only 12 T-cells left in her body. A healthy person normally has at least 600 T-cells, which are a crucial part of the immune system.

"I wasn't doing drugs. I wasn't out running out with men," Bailey said. "I would have never guessed it in a million years."

In retrospect, she believes she was probably infected by her former fiance, a pilot who flew internationally and with whom she had a seven-year relationship. He was said to have died from cancer in 1992, but Bailey's sister thought the cause might have been AIDS and pushed Bailey to get tested.

More people need to acknowledge the risk — as well as advocate condom use and HIV testing — to partners, family members and community members, activists and experts said Saturday.

"A lot of folks are still being silent," said television actress Sheryl Lee Ralph. "God created human beings, and he hard-wired us to have sex…. They always said [AIDS] was a gay white man's disease. But it's a human disease.

"Disproportionately, it is about us," she said. "I am sorry to the point of tears that we refuse to hear it."

Overall, 47% of those living with HIV in the United States are black, the highest rate among any racial group, according to 2003 figures. AIDS was the leading cause of death for black women ages 24 to 34 in 2002.

Activists said it's important for more prominent black organizations, especially churches, to take a broader role in educating people about the epidemic.

"If we don't do something quickly, black women in this country will be in the same position white gay boys in San Francisco were [once] in," Wafford said.

Quote:

Originally posted by darling1
on a side note: i do hope that j.l. king is giving all of his money to charity. personally, i have a problem with someone profiting of living a life of lies and deception.

J.L. King had asked E. Lynn to write the forward for his book. After E. Lynn read the manuscript, he refused to write it for this very reason.

when i saw his dl azz in oprah i didnt know whether to be pissed off or merely irritated.

that is so triflin' and does nothing more than glorify andmake more accepting inappropriate behavior. i dont care who you are intimate with, having the balls to be faithful and when you are having doubts you deal with those doubts like an adult.

i pity his wife and children.

Quote:

Originally posted by ladygreek
J.L. King had asked E. Lynn to write the forward for his book. After E. Lynn read the manuscript, he refused to write it for this very reason.

well since you are a walking reformed science project have you apologized to your mother and to each and everyone of the women you infected and lied to?

apologizing to God only doesnt count. :rolleyes:

[

I don't want to start any conflict but I must say it's a sad day when people are attacked and questioned b/c they mention that something is deemed to be wrong and the bible backs up their statement. Listen I like most people have done alot of things that go against the word of God the difference is that I will and have never tried to make my wrongs seem right...it is what it is.

I agree with AXEAM! Very well stated!