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33girl-my guess any development and implementation of programs would most likely have to due with alcohol and drug prevention, date rape, domestic violence, etc. and not anything to do with the GLO's national goals for a chapter. IF that is the case, I have no problem with a nonmember helping to develop those types of programs. GLO's bring in outside consultants all the time. Anything else-yes I would have problem and that's were the advisory board would mostly likely intervene with a good sit down talk with the university administration.
Sometimes advisors have a little more pull with university administrators than do actives because they are viewed as adults and not as students. This doesn't imply that actives are not skilled or old enough but rather just the perceptions of the administration. |
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And 2 questions of mine that still haven't been answered - are the GLOs being forced to pay for these people? And do the Greek groups have a right to pick from several candidates? |
maybe this is just mine, but how would a chapter afford to bring in a speaker from campusspeak? that would be ridiculously expensive. however, working with a SARF to 'implement' the idea your chapter had might be good. they might be able to work with administration to get funding or they could find another office on campus to co-sponsor the speaker so they could actually come.
i just don't see why you have a such a problem with this school doing somthing they think will help Greeks. I think that is great. The amount of money they must be setting aside for this is awesome. My school would never ever show that much support for our greek system. and on another note, it is more opportunity for greeks in graduate school to make some money for school while helping out the greek community they love so much. i wish my grad school would have these as an option for a grad assistantship. most schools only have 1 ga position in greek life and that is the only way to be directly involved with greeks and get paid (being an alumni advisor rocks too but unfortunately it doesn't pay the bills). also, UMD is known as having the most progressive higher ed grad and doctorate programs and are at the forfront of many nwe things in the feilds of student affairs. if this doesn't work out, they will try something different. but being negative about something we don't expereince first hand is not helping anyone. |
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If I WANTED to consult with an outside consultant, I would be able to find the appropriate contact and do so myself. I don't need a SARF waiting in the wings to offer their help, particularly regarding programming and membership. If this were happening at my school, I would consider it a serious insult to our autonomy as an organization. |
That's great! I'm glad you would know how to go about helping your chapter, but not all members are as astute as you are. And I really feel you shouldnt just write off the help of the SARFs. I love getting new sugestions from other people. It gives a new perspective and ideas I maybe wouldnt have thought of. I mean, a thing like UIFI works that way and is extremely sucessful. Members from all different greek orgs, schools and student affiars offices get together and exchange ideas! It is so helpful and so many of the students get alot from members not in their own fraternity or sorority and these members have been going to their own chapter advisors for years. There is always an opportunity to learn something new.
Also, we are a greek COMMUNITY, a greek FAMILY. we need to work as a group and then everyone will benefit and those who really need help will improve, without losing the inividuality each organization has. |
As one of the few graduates of UMD (and a member of the greeksystem) on this board, can I put in my $.02? Though having graduated many years ago, maybe it's only worth $.01.
The Maryland greek system has gone through MAJOR and MANY changes since the late 1980's that have adversly affected the system as a whole. Off the top of my head these are the chapters that I know have left the campus and why: Kappa Kappa Gamma -- internal problems and it was a HUGE blow to the system because they were one of the best houses on campus. Pi phi -- low numbers AZD -- low numbers GAmma Phi Beta -- low numbers AGD -- recolonized to a few years later going bye bye due to low numbers. Sigma Chi -- am not really sure why they left and another blow to the system (IMO) because they were great when I was there. SAE -- death of a member and again another top group PSK -- see SAE TEP -- I think they are gone Zeta Tau Alpha came on capmpus in the late 1980s and still here but many sororities have left (see above.) Quite frankly, I think it's amazing that UMD has a greek system at all. We would speak about how easy making fraternity row and the graham cracker (where the houses are) into either offices or multicultural housing or even straight dorms because the greek system has been riddled with problems. Not to mention more rules and regulations in order to have a party, remain an organized and recognized group on campus has been somewhat a turn off by the greek system -- but they know they must abide or lose their charter. Granted, I do not know all the details regarding this new SARF program but the fact that the administration is willing to implement anything to help keep them around I feel is a good thing. It would be such a shame if UMD lost their greek system because I loved every minute of my time there and the fraternity row/graham cracker part of the campus is so beautiful. And, FWIW, I heard that last year (or the year before that) the UMD greek system won best greek system from all MidAtlantic schools so they must be doing something right. Just my comments. |
dznat, I was going to reply but CC pretty much said everything I was going to.
Again, I ask - do you approve of a nonmember (who isn't an advisor approved by your national office) telling you what your membership goals should be? Would you really want a grad student from (random example) Kappa Kappa Gamma at Pitt telling you how many members you should have, how you should recruit, what methods you should use? And I went to Clarion, so believe me, I'm familiar with how the Greek systems at the state schools work. Maybe UMD is willing to put more $$ into the Greek system, but it certainly isn't free. I'd love to see more support for Greeks at all the SSHE schools, but IMO providing an atmosphere where they can thrive (i.e. a pro-Greek administration that conveys this sentiment to incoming students) and increasing campus opportunities in general so students will stay around on weekends and get involved is far more important than throwing a bunch of $$$ and programs at us. |
aabby757, thank you for your insight. i agree that a school showing any support of greek life is super helpful.
as far as having a non-member come in and help my chapter with membership-hell, i would have loved that! maybe they could have brought an idea we hadn't thought of. actually, i got some great recruitment help from people at UIFI last summer and then after we implimented them, we had the most sucessful rush we've had in years. we would have died off prolly but we were able to stay strong and double our numbers in one semester. we also had women from some of the other sororities giving us suggestion and help. that was so great and really helped bring us closer to those chapters (more greek community=good). however i don't really think the sarfs are there to tell you who to take and how to recruit them. what i understood fromt he job description is that they are supossed to make sure 'proper' recruiting is occurring (ie. no alcohol in rush-more a problem for the men from what ive seen) and help out with ideas and plannign with recruitment if the chapter needs or wants it. maybe im wrong in this interpretation but i highly doubt UMD would tell anyone to go into a chapter and take over their recruitment process. greek advisors don't do that, so why should a sarf? also, UMD and the SSHE schools are so different I would never compare them. |
I am sure that someone has touched on this but I'm too lazy to read all of the posts so I am just gonna throw my two cents in anyway....
On my campus we had/have housing directors, elderly women who take care of the house and of us. Unofficialy the are the house mom's cause that is really what they come to be for us. Moms. When our housemom Donna announced that she was moving to another house a lot of us cried because you really come to care about these women because they are there more than to keep your house on track, they are there to be your mom away from home. Now I cannot possibly imagine that some random graduate student could be that for the girls in the house. Plus as a graduate student that means that they are going to be done at some point and so you'll have to get a new one...some of the chatpers have had the same house mom for years. When Alpha Phi's house mom died a few years ago they held a big memorial thingy at their house because being a fantastic woman she really touched the lives of the entire greek community. I just don't see a graduate student doing that.....For the house mom the girls and the house are her first priority, for a graduate student obviously school is going to be first priority. Also I really don't like the idea of the university getting to decide on someone who lives in my house, I mean that is meant to be your sanctuary... |
In retrospect on House Momss
St. Petersburg Times
May 7, 2005 Mom to 22, and frat boys at that House mom Mimi Howard keeps the shenanigans to a minimum at Kappa Sigma fraternity house at the University of Florida. By LANE DeGREGORY, Times Staff Writer GAINESVILLE - "There was the food fight," Mom says. "Oh, my, yes, the food fight." That hot buttered roll came soaring across the dining room, smacked her square in the head. Then there was the time they turned her house into a pirate ship: built a bow on the balcony, a crow's nest on the roof. "You should've seen the party we had!" she says. She glides back and forth on her wide front porch swing outside Kappa Sigma fraternity, slipping through shadows, dipping into puddles of bright spring sun. She sits here most mornings, watching the door. Nick and Jason just left for the gym. Matt, Shawn and Thomas are picking up a pizza. James will be by soon. It's quiet on this Thursday morning. No stereos blaring. No one screaming as they careen off the Slip 'N Slide. "They pulled out all the hoses last week, flooded this whole yard," Mom says, chuckling. "Oh, my, yes. They were running and sliding on their bellies, having a great time." But some boys missed the slide and shot into the bushes. Mom scrubbed their elbows, bandaged their knees. Really. She has found boys passed out in her lawn chairs, fighting in her kitchen, sneaking girls upstairs. She confiscates their liquor, patches their shirts and their friendships, holds them while they sob over girls. "These boys want you to think they're all grown up. But they're not," she says. "Not yet." *** Mimi "Mom" Howard has 96 boys, ages 18 to 23. Only 22 of them live at home. Her two-story brick house has a dozen bedrooms upstairs. Mom sleeps downstairs, off the alcove where she sets out cereal. A wipeoff board adorns her always-open door. Mom's at church. Mom's at the grocery. Mom will be back by noon, she writes. Sometimes, the boys scrawl messages to her. We (heart) you, Mom! And her favorite: Mom's hanging around with the wrong crowd! She's the manager of the Kappa Sigma house at the University of Florida - one of the school's last true frat moms. "Only six of our 22 frat houses still have moms," says Chris Bullins, director of the university's Office of Sorority and Fraternity Affairs. "Most houses are hiring house managers who are younger and have day jobs, or grad students." But the guys at Kappa Sig don't want young - they love Mom. They were the ones who interviewed her, who hired her. They think she's in her 50s, about the age of their own moms. If they only knew. . . . *** "Hi, Mom!" James Martin shouts, running up the circular driveway just after 11 a.m. James is the fraternity president. "How you feeling?" he asks, sinking beside her on the swing. Mom just got back from the doctor. Her back is spasming again, even after the surgery. Her right foot aches beneath the brace. But she doesn't want to worry her boys. "Grand, just grand," she says, her soft cheeks folding into a smile. With less than a week to go before graduation, the guys are getting ready to let loose. "Gator Stomp tonight. You want to come?" James asks, teasing. He doesn't have to translate. Mom is well aware of her boys' end-of-semester routine: 10 bars, 10 drinks, two slices of pizza and a Coke. "Oh my, you know I don't like that Gator Stomp thing," Mom says, fingering the thin gold cross at her throat. "Someone always gets hurt." She already lost one of her boys this year: Chris Smalls died in a car accident in January. And she still grieves for her own son, Matthew. He's what brought her here. *** "Oh, my. I don't remember this hanging like that last night," Mom says, peering up at the EXIT sign above the dining room door. The lighted sign is dangling above her head, twirling on a tangled rope of wires. Mom clicks it off. She makes a call to get it fixed. She limps through the dining room, straightening metal folding chairs. She doesn't cook for the frat house, but she makes the menus. Pork chops and meatloaf, mashed potatoes with gravy. Every night, she eats with her boys at one of the long tables. "She does everything for this house," James says. "Everything a real mom does." For liability reasons, the boys have to have a house manager. But they don't have to include her in their lives. These guys taught Mom all about PlayStation, to twirl the knobs on foosball. They invite her to football games, to go line-dancing. Once a month, Brett brings a DVD to her apartment and flops on the floor by Mom's feet, to watch with her. "Sometimes, they'll wake me up at 3 a.m. asking, "Where's the peanut butter?' But I don't mind. Really. I've learned to sleep through heavy metal bands and I never get up early anymore," she says. She doesn't fuss about noise. But she won't tolerate liquor, girls staying overnight, or underage drinking. "She'll ask you what's in your cup, then sniff it, to make sure," James says. "She won't let any of the younger guys have anything except soda." "Of course they get mad at me sometimes," she says proudly. "I'm a mom." And like any mom, she doesn't know everything that goes on. *** Before Mom was Mom, she was Marion, then Mimi. She worked in the insurance business in West Virginia and raised three sons on her own after she got divorced. When her youngest, Matthew, got sick, she sold the agency and moved to Port Charlotte to care for him. She wanted him to at least feel the sun. "I lost Matthew to leukemia 10 years ago, when he was only 34," Mom says, slow tears streaking through her powder. "After that, I sort of ran away." In the years after he died, Mom tried to kill the loneliness. She adopted a Siamese cat, met a man, spent weekends visiting her five grandchildren, hanging out with the "Red Hatters." But she needed more. "I was bored with all those white-haired old ladies," Mom says, patting her own frosty bangs. "All they talk about is their aches and doctors' appointments." One day, a friend told her about a UF sorority that needed a house mom. Can you imagine, the friend asked. Imagine living with and dealing with and trying to discipline a bunch of college girls. Who would want to do that? "Me," Mom said suddenly. "I would. Very much." Two weeks later, she had sold her home and moved to Gainesville, where she crammed a quarter of her furniture into two tiny rooms at the Delta Phi Epsilon house. She stayed with the girls for six years. But she wanted boys. She knew boys. Boys were easier. When the house mom at Kappa Sig left two years ago, Mom moved into the three-room apartment on the fraternity's first floor. It's frustrating for her, and fortunate for the boys, that her bad back keeps her from climbing stairs - so she can't inspect their bedrooms. Their upstairs living room also is Mom-free. *** "My boys come back here all the time to visit," Mom says, walking into her apartment. "I must get five, six hugs a day." She sinks into a striped chair beside her sofa. Even here, in her sanctuary, she keeps her boys with her. On her TV and shelves, silver frames surround their smiles. The white rose Thomas gave her during the ROTC ceremony sits on her table. He said it was for his favorite woman in his life. "This is home. I don't have any other. I'm here all summer, with at least a dozen of my boys," she says. The cat crawls into her lap. James leans over an end table, studying a photo. He's been in her apartment often, but he doesn't remember this picture of the blue-eyed baby. "That's Olivia," Mom says, her voice choked with emotion. "My great-granddaughter. My first great. . . . I just got her." So how old are you then, Mom, to be a great-grandmother? More than 50, which is what your boys guessed? "Oh my yes," she says, laughing. More than 60? "Oh my yes." More than 70? "Stop there," Mom says, holding up her hand like a crossing guard. "I'm 80," she says finally. "How many women my age do you know who can say they get to sleep with 22 boys every night?" James laughs and rises to leave. His girlfriend and a bunch of the guys are waiting. "We're going to grab some lunch. Want to come with us, Mom?" She gets up too, slowly, steadying herself against the arm chair. "Oh my no - thank you," she says, following him back through the frat house. She walks out the front door, shuffles across the porch. "You boys go along, have a good time!" She folds into her swing and starts rocking again, slowly, watching her boys' backs. There is alot to be said about the above. I do not neccesarily agree with out side sources coming in that will cost The Chapter a lot of money that cannot be afforded. It the School wishes to put this on for all GLOs then Okay. It is always nice when someone can come in and show how it should be done in the broad frame of things. But, each situation can and will be different. |
Hijack.
That is a GREAT story. Reminds me of "our" Mom when I was an Undergrad. She was amazing -- and taught us a lot. One of the first things I remember as a pledge -- actually during rush -- was this group of otherwise typical rowdy fraternity guys standing respectfully at dinner until the chaper or pledge president ushered Mom to her seat. Quite a woman. |
I would love to be a house mom...maybe i'll look into that when my fiance and i get settled and all....
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dznat, in all of your examples, you are the one SEEKING information from other organizations and individuals. No one at UIFI is going to tell you how to recruit unless you ASK them for their opinion. When there is someone living in your house, who is being told to help your chapter in the ways listed in their job description, I am sure that the SARF opinion and agenda would be expressed, solicited or UNsolicited. |
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That implies numbers to me -- not who would be recruited, initiated, etc. That seems to me to be a major difference. |
True. I meant membership decisions as encompassing all of that, but you are right that it implies that the SARFs will have a say in selection. I'll edit :)
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