I know you weren't responding directly to me, but I'll say yes, it clarified your position for me, and I don't think we're that far off from each other.

I was just taking it a step further to say that in marriage -- or at least, in a healthy marriage -- the husband and wife would work through all of the points you made, would do so with respect for the other and other's needs and feelings, and would attempt to arrive at a decision they can both live with and where neither spouse would risk carrying resentment because the other spouse "acted like this was all his/her decision." It can be very difficult to find that common decision that both can live with, but it's not impossible and, if the two people are committed enough to the marriage and to each other, they will probably consider it necessary to keep working on it until they do reach that common ground.

Very true . . . now the part that I was referring to earlier is where you implicitly carried this over into child rearing - and it's not at all 'obvious' why it is implicit, nor is it necessary, though it may be traditional. I don't know if that was an intentional extension, but I don't really jive with it as much as I do with everything else you posted (which is par for the course, for me).

AGAIN, -- what if she simply CHANGED HER MIND. I've personally heard her say she wanted to have kids at a party maybe 2 years ago... So at one point she did, or thought she did.

But what if she changed her mind? That IS her right. Brad does not own her, he's her partner. So if Jen did not want to have kids (or not have them right now) it IS her choice ultimately. Yes as a couple it would be an issue they'd deal with together, but in the end, what's he going to do, forcibly impregnate her? No, it is HER choice.

I think she has a fair chance of having a movie career. Her part in "The Good Girl" was very un-Rachel and she did a good job with it. She just needs to choose the right movies/roles.

If, as it's been said, Jen changed her mind, it still doesn't give the author of that article the right to call Brad a "dunderhead." I think he truly wants children and has no doubt. He's been through lots of relationships and lots of life and he's ready to take that step where you are always thinking about someone other than yourself.

I think she's got HUGE issues as far as parenting is concerned because of her mom - some of my friends are the same way. They don't want to have kids because they don't want to make those mistakes. But I don't think you should let fear keep you from doing something if you really want to do it.

As far as automatically assuming that she would do most of the childcare, two words: John Lennon. Obviously that is not the same situation, but the fact remains that he was his son's primary caregiver the first 5 years of his life.

I just feel bad for Jen sometimes, even though I faithfully have been researching and reading every single snippet that comes out, about how we're folllowing her every move. Her separation is so public. That must blow.

She's not my hero, but if more women read this and realize that they don't have to breed if they don't want to, then it can only be a good thing. ;)

After reading the article, I say, good for her!!

( But, I don't hide my lack of desire for kids, either...)