Well I think if you are following etiquette then yes you should be asked to be in the wedding. However considering the situation I would probably prefer not to be in it. My brother and I are very close also but he obviously has no say in his own wedding. SAD!!

As far the rehearsal dinner goes, your parents need to put their foot down and add you to the list. They are paying for it they should invite who they want to invite also.

Marriage is supposed to be the combination of 2 families. It is sad to see that here are 2 families that will not combining and can't evil combine to put together what is supposed to be the happiest day for this couple.

I agree that it is important to not ruffle the feathers and to play nicely, but they are walking all over your family and someone needs to stand up. It should be your brother but if he can't then your parents should.

Well said!

You don't think your brother isn't going to be upset when they are a ll at the dinner and your not there. If anything
that will cause uproar will be comments made about that. It is bad enough she didn't honor his request by having you as a bridesmaid but to axe you out of the dinner too.....he will start putting two and two together and then you will have an upset groom.

I would show just to spite her and make her cause a scene and then she will be asked why you werent even invited to be involved inthe wedding and let alone the dinner.



I need to stop because i am rehasing the anger i had towards my sister in law and the wedding. hehe.

Serious though, i bet if you showed up nothing will be said ...i mean really is she going to say why are you here in front of your brother and your family....she be pretty stupid to do that

No one can treat you badly without your consent.

I think it is easy to blame your FSIL for being evil and all of that, but the bigger responsibility lies with your brother. Is he aware that you are not on the "invite" for the rehersal dinner? (and BTW, I agree with everyone who has said that the bride to be and her parents cannot tell your family who they can and cannot invite--unless of course, you guys let them. See opening statement) What was his response to you not being invited to be in the wedding?

I think you should casually tell him she left you off the list. Hopefully, it was an oversight on her stupidity.

In the South, its totally customary to have siblings in the wedding party. You actually should plan on having them as a maid/grooms man. I would tell your brother your feelings. Its always easier to add someone (if there were not enough groomsmen for you) than exclude the SISTER OF THE GROOM. You leave out your high school friend you haven't talked to a lot before the sister of the groom.

I also am a firm believer that the guy's family should be involved in the planning. Maybe not in the budget planning, but they should definetly be in the know about the wedding and see invite, flowers, and cake options (after you have narrowed them down. Even if its just photos, it makes his mother feel good to be asked or shown. (However, I have a fabulous relationship with my fiance's parents)

Her brother right now is in la-la land and will continue to live there until he and bridezilla hit a rough patch during the marriage.
If preciousjeni says anything to her brother and the bridezilla drama, he won't hear a thing. It will be a Peanuts moment, like when the teacher speaks to Charlie Brown and as you hear her say is "Waw wah waw wah waw wah"

Let bridezilla and her mom put dancing bears and clowns on the guest list for the rehearsal dinner, it doesn't mean they will get to go. I agree with everyone who said show up to the rehearsal dinner. Make sure you, mom, and dad look absolutely fabulous.

As for being put on punch or guestbook duty,thank her for the offer but she can pass that honor to someone else who could do a way better job than you. ;)

Look at it this way: with any luck at all, the bridesmaid dresses will look like this:

http://store1.yimg.com/I/uglydress_1800_16014255

And then when you show up looking your beautiful self, well, revenge will be yours!


(courtesy of www.uglydress.com)

He's marrying that woman!?

So wait, is that the dress or the cake?

I think that you should go to the rehearsal dinner. If I were you, I would be revealed about not being a bridesmaid. Just look at that dress. :p

Maybe this http://store1.yimg.com/I/uglydress_1800_6398080 could be her wedding dress... mwahaha:p

How bout ATTACK OF THE BUTT BOW!
http://store1.yimg.com/I/uglydress_1800_9739771

Or this darling number?
http://store1.yimg.com/I/uglydress_1800_13342234

BOTH. Edible bridesmaids are the new trend.

They're especially good if you're frugal as they serve double duty: they can be used in both the bachelor party as well as the wedding.