I've done the online thing before and its really no different then meeting someone out and about in terms of honesty...if someone is going to lie they will regardless of the venue....the pro to meeting someone on the net is that like someone else mentioned, you can actually get to know someone well if they are forced to communicate with you through writing...someone's talk game could be tight and they could be dumb as a bag of rocks...you can't hide your dumbness when you have to write your thoughts out.......I'd had two sucessful relationships that started online...successful meaning that both men were normal, handsome, non psycho dudes....I coulda met either one out somewhere and got the same results.....no wackos....I know 2 couples that met on the net and are now happily married....I believe it is indeed just a sign of the times...

My husband and I met via email intro through a mutual acquantaince.

If you do write a "personal", hayle, ask for everything you desire in a mate and be creative. Make it challenging and see if he or she can live up to the challenge.

Folks do lie. But, there are some key questions you can ask that no matter what the answer is, you get your answer.

I did write a personal before I was married. My personal just said that "the Universe is my Sanctuary and if you are ready to be under my realm of belief, the welcome, assante and ashe..."

Speak to them IM or email at a nondescript site. Then when you feel comfortable, have them call you.

And as crazy as it sounds, make the person meet you at church. If they say they can't, then, hey--you know! Better to know now and have the scrutiny by those who already are familiar with you... ;)

Just saw this thread. I know of several friends who have developed relationships with men they met online - and none of them met on dating sites. The meetings were all random (like Xanga, MySpace, Facebook, etc.) Three of my friends are now married to the men they met online.

I'm still wary of dating sites - but, Professor, I completely disagree with your assertion that a "special person will come and he will be sent by God not a dot com." God is in everything.

Your statement reminds me of the modern parable about the man whose house was flooding. When the water was very low, some friends came by in a big truck and asked him if he needed help. He said, "No, I'm waiting for God to save me." Then, the water got higher and some friends came by in a boat. Upon asking if he required assistance, he replied again, "No, I'm waiting for God to save me." Finally, when the water was about to cover the roof of his house, a helicopter hovered overhead and he was asked one last time if he needed help. He still said, "No, I'm waiting for God to save me." After he died, he asked God why He hadn't saved him. God said, "I sent you a truck, a boat and a helicopter."

The same applies here. God is in everything, even dating sites.

LOL but I like that J! Point WELL taken. By the way, my date went quite well.

This is soooo true and writing back and forth can be so intimate. Also, I don't know why some people think that meeting people in person in random places (gas station, mall, supermarket, park, nightclub etc.) is less risky than meeting for a date with someone you met online. No matter where you meet the person, on the first date(s), you should be careful, meet and leave them in a public place, and not go home with them. I dated two guys I met online and I've been married to one of them for going on 3 years now. So I definitely say that those who refuse to date people they meet online could be missing out. There are a lot of people out there that don't like meeting people in the street. I think I might still be single if it wasn't for the internet because I don't like the club scene and I don't like being approached in random places either, so for me cyberspace was more comfortable.

P.S.

I met my husband at www.BlackSinglesConnection.com. When I was on there some of the people seemed very serious about finding mates and lots of people posted testimonials about finding their spouses...I posted mine too but I don't know if it's still there. I remember that there was also a lot of different people of African descent on there, not just African Americans.