Figuratively, Russ, dear. *sigh* Men! :rolleyes: ;)

Our chapter's favorite non-negative negative is "better suited elsewhere." ;)

A friend of mine told me that in her chapter, the quickest way to end a discussion was, "I don't believe she's Tri-Delt material..." This was a polite way to see "Giant red L written on her forehead."

We avoid "Nice" and "Cute" as much as possible.

The best way we have found to help this is to conduct a needs assessment of the chapter and of potential members. Figure out what attributes the chapter sees as important and focus on these. The active members notes should reflect these needs that she sees in a potential member. Then the active can give offer useful information about PNM's during Membership selection.

We are also forbidden to use the words "Cute, fun, sweet, interesting, and XYZ material" to describe the pnm.

By the time the 30th sister has said "I want her as my little," I want to shoot myself...

be very careful
 

Nowadays, caution about what is said, and what is written down about PNMs, is being stressed. Even a word like "cute" or "nice" when written down, can be construed in some way you never intended, and when it is brought to light in a discrimination lawsuit, you may regret writing it down.

We stress writing down only FACTS (that could have been observed by another person in the room). For instance, instead of saying a PNM was "rude", a factual statement would be "she didn't make eye contact with me" or "she stared down at the ground during most of the party". Or, instead of saying that she looked "bored", a factual statement would be "she stared out the window during the skit". The factual statements could have been observed by someone else besides the member who wrote it.

Also, physical descriptions are okay (we don't use pictures), as long as they aren't racially biased. For instance, a physical description could be "brown hair, shoulder length, with bangs, wore knee-length denim skirt and white cotten blouse". Again, very factual.

I agree using "cute" or "nice" just aren't that helpful when the group is trying to assess a PNM. And, I agree with one poster who talked about providing information that is relevant to the chapter's needs.

Which is exactly why chapters should be collecting and destroying all voting materials. My chapter always takes up everything that is related to voting after the final session and does away with it. As far as I know, we have always done this. Do some chapters keep all of their voting materials & comments on file? If so, what do you do if someone finds it and reads what was written about herself or others?

That's true, it is our policy to shred all rush voting materials, cards, etc. But you never know if something was missed, like someone forgetting to turn everything in, or accidentally drops something on the way to the shredder.

Excellent point about proper destruction of documents !!!

I think that pretty much every group has a policy about burning/shredding/flushing* any and all voting materials that include names, scores and/or comments.

*Well maybe not flushing, but for those who had "don't play with matches" drummed into their head it was the best way to get rid of those 4th grade love notes. :D

what? you guys actually burn or flush your comments?

In my chapter we had to chew up the pieces of paper and swallow them ;)

Well, I'll fess up, since I know this is pretty much the same for everyone because of NPC guidelines. There's actually a ritual burning of any recruitment materials after formal recruitment...in the formal recruitment catsuits (in honor of all of our awesome new members!) I think the ceremony is revised in the next round of PH Green Book updates, though!