I grew up in a family of boys-my sister & I were the only girls among 8 cousins who were all boys. I grew up w/ the philosophy that if I'm strong enough to hit one of them, I'm strong enough to get hit back.

I think you may have a misconception w/ your generalization w/ girls.

*hugs AKA_monet*

Oddly enough I didn't go through this kind of thing and I went to an all-girls school. I was the wrong color, substantially poorer than the others and a complete bookworm. There was definitely this kind of backbiting environment around me, but I just wasn't a part of it.

That is not to say I was not teased. I most definitely was, and I went through my trials with those girls, but at the end of the day it could have been a LOT worse. I think it just has more to do with my personality. I didnt care enough about those people for it to get to me, and if it didnt get to you there was no pleasure for them in doing it. I wasn't into the social thing, I just wanted to get my work done and graduate.

Did anyone watch tonight's "Law & Order?" It dealt with mean girls killing one of their own and how they tortured the overweight/not as attractive girl in school. It was really sad.

It just finished airing here. I remember this one girl that was picked on all through middle school and high school. She was in my homeroom, and a few classes. She lived in my dad's neighborhood and had a shell, but I got to know her over the years. People said horrible things about her, voted her for things as a joke (Most popular, etc and included this other guy who was way beyond the other middle schoolers, he knew about "Capitol Steps" in 7th grade, and earned money for research before entering college, but he took the torment much better than the other girl). That was in middle school, we didn't have superlatives in highschool because everyone is recognized for something, and it would jsut be a popularity contest. We liked to play anti-establishment nonconformist.

I went to a middle school of over 1200, but my high school was barely over 300 (performing and visual arts, like Fame). You knew everyone, and anyone tormenting or teasing you saw them do it and it was easier to confront in a smaller setting. I remember in 10th grade biology this girl was being picked on one day. It had been going on for a few days, she had another personality and was being taunted with that name. I finally told off these girls that were my close friends. They actually stopped, and it didn't damage our friendship or my social standing. I lucked out in always being accepted by my peers, and I was never teased. Most people were friendly, social events were all inclusive for those with those familial priviliges. Traveling between groups was easy, but most people had a core of three or four main friends within the larger group. There was a severe imbalance of females outnumbering males at this school, so almost ALL the teasing was done by girls. However all other kinds of kids that could be social rejects at other schools (theatre freaks, band geeks, pencil necked comic book artists, etc..) were left alone and accepted.

Studies have found that bullying episode is more likely to stop if another peer says something. The thing these kids didn't know about this girl is that she was adopted. She had been in the foster system and abused, severely, hence the split personality as a coping mechanism. The other personality came out when she felt unsafe or threatened. She left school shortly after that and I have no idea what happened to her. I am very proud that my parents, and other adults instilled in me enough self esteem and care for others that I had the personal strength to do that and not care about the social results. As an adult that often works with children, I am trying to pass that on.

Some girls are so unhappy, they have to make everyone else feel as bad as they do, it is sad what people do for acceptance at the expense of others.