I read that the average for a first (starter) marriage was late 20s in NYC. Here is something about starter marriages.

*sniff* you still love me even though I'm nowhere near 25, right? I'll just be legally able to drink the champagne during the toast at our reception! But of course if for some Godforsaken reason we do divorce, I'll take you to a really nice dinner and you can "I told you so" alllllllllllll night long :p

ETA: But I still got a big rock! (and lots of little ones, too!) :D

http://im1.shutterfly.com/procserv/4...3ed20000001610

Mr. Bunny makes me so proud sometimes *tear*

Well the cool thing (or maybe not so cool) is that as old as you are . . is as old as you have ever been . . so we always view life from that (to us) pinnacle of age. Not imagining how we might be later. . . how could we? It has never been later for us yet.

Anyhoo . . very few people have the detachment to also be able to think of themselves in the third person and use reference points that other people have gotten through experience . . such as Jill's comment.

Thats why we are all doomed to repeat the mistakes others already made lol.

I know this sounds weird. But I dont like the really big diamonds. I dont like anything bigger then one carat.... they look fake on me.

Anyone else out there who doesn't like big diamonds...no problem; just send 'em my way! ;)

Let's see, I was 24 when I tied the knot the first time and Mr. KR was 26. The second time, I had just turned 25 but he was still 26. Not sure which one counts?

Wow - married twice in two years? That's quick, but it's worked for you, huh?

I always said I didn't care what ring I got (it could be from a Cracker Jack box a la "Breakfast at Tiffany's") if it was the right guy. But I don't mind big diamonds and I wouldn't turn down two to three carats - as long as it is a good cut and clarity/color!

Haha, I guess I should have clarified better. Some of you who don't know me probably think I'm a serial bride!

When Mr. KR and I were engaged but our church wedding was still 7 months away, we decided to get married by a Justice of the Peace and not tell anyone because he was concerned that I didn't have health insurance. So we got married, I got my Navy dependants' benefits, then we got married in a church ceremony a few months later.

All of our friends knew we were already married, but our parents don't know to this day (13 years later!). We thought for sure one of our friends would get wasted at the reception and blurt something out, but thankfully that didn't happen!

Oh, that is so romantic and sweet. Thanks for sharing.

The issue of "starter marriages," as well as the book, have previously been discussed on GC. If anyone is really concerned with the phenomenon, I would suggest reading the book. With a wedding on the horizon, it really made me think about certain things--like putting too much emphasis on the wedding instead of the marriage, creating your own financial stability, and getting married because YOU want to, not because of societal expectation.

I have serious issues with assigning an arbitrary age upon which to get married, as I've said before. I know very self-aware 19 year olds who have been on their own, supporting themselves, since the age of 15 or 16, and I know 28 year olds who are totally pampered and sheltered. Just because one person is older doesn't mean that they should be getting married.

I agree with you, Munchkin. It's not so much a matter of chronological age as it is emotional maturity and stability. Even still, if anyone wanted my advice, from experience I can tell you that getting married before 25 (or at least before you finish your education) is a huge mistake. But hey, it's my opinion and would not dispense it as fact. Just a lesson from the school of hard knocks.

The only problem is that most people think they are mature no matter what their age or maturity lol. Its a lack of objectivity and perspective and a source of endless amusement for me . . .

You watch these people get into these really serious relationships or marriage and they become desperately unhappy but don't really know why . . . or even that they are unhappy . . kind of like having a faint but unrecognizable head ache.

Until one day bang, the moment of truth, they realize that they are not happy with their partners, its like an epiphany. And then they either leave and wish they had long before, or stay and become miserable.

Unhappines is a feel of unease and blah. A sort of numbness.

Misery is realizing that you are unhappy, he cause of it, and not doing anything about it.

But it is kind of fun to watch those people. :)

Before I went off to college and gained all of my knowledge and wisdom I honestly thought that I would find "the one" when I came to college. Not that that was the only reason for going to school, but all my life people had been telling me that you'll meet the person you're going to marry while you're in college. If that's true I hope I'm never getting married b/c these guys are not people I want to spend even a week with, much less my whole life.

I also always thought that I would get married, no if and's or but's about it...everyone gets married and I would too. But now the more I think about it, the less appealing the idea becomes as I get older. My age currently (21) definitely factors in to that I know, but I also know that as long as I have been in any kind of steady, serious relationship I have never enjoyed it and it's really just not my thing. So who knows, I may end up living on my own forever with lots of Pomeranians in a bad ass penthouse apt. all to myself...or I might become the crazy cat lady and have to have my house demolished b/c I let cats overrun it. (This really happened in Omaha) I guess time will tell. ;)

ETA: My brother will be turning 23 this summer and he just recently got engaged...I can't even imagine doing that right now and it totally baffles me that he is so excited and cool about it. :eek: :confused:

I thought the same thing... hmm... 10 months for me.
The closer I get to 23, the more I think I want to wait for marriage a little bit longer (although I would LOVE to get engaged before I graduate for a candle pass.. hehehe.. but that's all wishful thinking)

My older sister is turning 25 at the end of this year, and she really has a good attitude about it. She's not married, or engaged, but she figures you're only young once. She works full time, still has a ton of fun with her friends, and is taking her relationship one step at a time. She's currently dating an awesome guy and I think they have kind of talked about marriage, but she definitely wants to make sure the both of them are stable in all areas of their lives before they actually get engaged, which I think is a really smart thing to do.

I guess it just depends on the people. One of my close friends got married at the age of 21 a few months after she graduated from college and I was completely weirded out! All I could think was "she's MY age, and she's MARRIED! how WEIRD!"
hehehe.

it's all really interesting. I think its 50% about your personal maturity and 50% about the relationship you're in. You coudl be totally ready for marriage at 21 but if you are single... guess what.

This starter marriage phenomena is interesting. I think I could actually name a few people who are about to go into a "starter marriage" but of course they don't look at it that way. And I'm definitely not going to be the one to tell them. But still... do you ever get that sinking feeling about certain couples?

Such as Bennifer?
:rolleyes:
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