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Re: Distance yourself!

Quote:

Originally posted by AKA2D '91

4. Karma is a byatch, therefore, I wouldn't want something similar OR worse to happen to me or those close around me.

Amen!

I am not going to preach, I am just going to be practical.

If you feel yourself having feelings, returned or not, towards someone already taken, its important to recognize that and make a decision.

If you are willing to pursue a relationship with him . . well you keep hanging with him. And you might as well do everything in your power to win.

If you don't. If you think its wrong or too much trouble. Your best bet is to run away and sever ALL contact for some time. Until you get over it.

Unless you are one of those people that like the torturous drama of unrequited love. blah. Thats a nasty evil, hurtful place to be, because you are neither coming nor going, merely trapped in a perpetual state of frustrated hope and unhappiness. A place where your emotional well-being is in the hands of someone else because you can't leave and don't want to pursue.

OH, if you have trouble severing contact for a period of time, thats telling you something right there.

Quote:

Originally posted by SKEEphistAKAte
I don't think that your relationships with them have to end entirely, but you need to take a step back. I would say try to objectively think about how you would feel if your significant other had a female best friend. Consider what you would and would not be happy with. The thing is to be OBJECTIVE about it, not making excuses. Also, I think that a good thing to do is for you to double date. If you have good male friend who is seriously dating someone else, you should double date. That way, his girlfriend has the opportunity to see you with someone else and that will kind of qualm her issues with you wanting her man. Hopefully she will see that there is no romantic interest between you and her man and that in fact, you are very much involved with someone else. Plus, if she is really that important to your friend, you should respect her as such and maybe even seek out a friendship with her. This discussion reminds me of the movie Brown Sugar.

Thanks for the feedback.
My main concern is because the girlfriend is my friend too. I've know the guy for about 5 years and then I met the girl about a year ago because we worked together. They actually met one another at my house for a gathering before I moved out of state. So it's like, they're both my friends... that's what makes it a little more weird. It works out when she's having issues with him and she can talk to me about him (because I know him so well) but it's kind of uncomfortable when things come up that he told me but didn't tell her.

So what advice do you have for me considering they are both my friends?

I know plenty of men who got married after knowing me
and informed their new mate that I was there before and
will be there after so accept me as family or don't because
I'm not going anywhere.

Deltadred,

I invite you to introduce yourself in the appropriate thread for members of Delta Sigma Theta. That is protocol for any new member of Delta to GC to do so.

Quote:

Originally posted by AKA2D '91
As the best friend, would you have accepted the gift especially if you know he hasn't done anything like that for his wife? ETA

No, and I will have to tell him about himself!

@True--- Stay out of it!! I do not engage my male friends in conversations about their wives/girlfriends. If they want to vent, fine, I'll listen. But, don't drag me into it. I don't want some woman hating me. I always speak honestly, but cautiously. Relationships are complicated. After weighing in with a general, neutral piece of advice, I end with, "I really think this is a discussion you should have with her."