i dont consider it an arranged marriage if either party can say "thanks but no thanks" at any time during the courtship

AOcutie,

But nowadays most arranged marriages you can say "thanks but no thanks"! you might get pressured..but you can opt out of it.

I read an article about arranged marriages in the Utne reader. If I can find it, maybe I'll transcribe it. Pretty much, the author said that in most "successful" arranged marriages, a deep respect forms between both parties--which is essentially happens in most marriages.