I like to date skinny blonde guys. So I must be racist too because blacks, Asians, etc can't be blonde, right? And then I'm discriminating against the fat man. What a bigoted jerk I am.

Your friend is weird. There is nothing wrong with who you date. I think she should be worrying more about whether or not they're abusing you than the color of their skin.

And variety isn't all it's cracked up to be. I don't need to date a crack dealer to know what I want from a man. I know I don't want any of that.

Not a whole lot of them though. And we corral them all into the ghettoes of Milwaukee.



Before the race police gets on me, I did not mean that.


It's a little bit true though.

Not to start an argument, because we have had the discussion previously on GC (and it was a really great one- not nasty, everyone learned something) but it's very different to be a race that never dates out as opposed to someone whonever dates their own race.

The first is a matter of convenience and sometimes prejudice that doesn't really say much about how you see yourself. The second often, not always, is an indicator of how the person feels about their own racial identity. It generally (not always- I work around almost all white people so have been dating "out" for a while because that's who I meet) requires that one go out of their way to avoid members of their own race of the opposite sex.

Thats a good point . . . Its an interesting deviation to date exclusively outside your own race . . the only time I think that might be different though is if you were raised completely by another race (I should use the word phenotype, race is inaccurate) and immersed in their culture.

I think in that case you would identify more with that race than your own.

It does happen, but I don't think that's generally true. Maybe it depends on what "race" you are and what "race" you were raised in.

In the case of black people it doesn't really work that way (that I've seen- and yes I have seen this situation several times). Because regardless of what your family does at home when you go outside people don't see your family, you can't carry them around like a badge of not-blackness, they see black. And in this country all of the stereotypes and assumptions that come with it are right there.

It's all about the Asian Invasion!!!


Anyhow, I agree with everyone here, veemers. Your friend is being ridiculous. My boyfriend is Indian (and yes, he uses that Asian Invasion joke all the time :p), but everyone else I dated before him was white. It just happened to work out that way. I didn't start dating my boyfriend because I wanted to branch out into other races/ethnicities; I liked him and he liked me, so we got together. That's the way that dating and relationships usually work.


Bottom line, date whoever you damn well please and tell your friend to keep out of your business.

DW,

No doubt, I love me some hot asian men!

In fact, I love ALL men...there are so many choices out there..and we are just limiting ourselves by sticking to one race only. I mean You can have your own preference (whether it your own or not). I only date those who I find interesting and unique ..one of a kind. So let 'em be what they are...just as long as we are compatible . Who cares what other people think anyway?


One thing that peeves me though is men who say that love to exclusively date exotic-looking chicks (mixed, ethnic, whatever they call exotic :confused: ) ..I stay clear of them!

Your friend is just another PC monger. I don't date non-white girls simply because I'm not attracted to them.

I'm Asian and haven't dated a whole lot of guys (at least compared with girls my age (24)), but every single one of them have been white or partially white. If my grandmother ever found that out, she'd probably give me (for the six billionth time) what I call the "Butterfly Lecture" (as in the Puccini opera). Also known as the "he's only going to use you for sex and then dump you for a white chick" lecture.

There is the other side of the spectrum if you do date outside your race the "old guard" its wrong, if you don't date outside your race than you are just a racist...god I love it...

Move to NYC. One of my best friends lives up there and LOVES Asian guys. Heck, she's single right now, I'll play matchmaker! ;)

Veemers, that's a very rude comment for your friend to make! Who you date is your business and your business alone!

I'm white and I've only dated white guys...that's just how it happened. However, I am also Jewish and except for about a week in high school, I've never dated a Jewish guy. Does that make me a self-hating Jew? :D I don't think so. Would I date a black, Hispanic or Asian guy? Sure, if the chemistry was there. It's more if he's a good person and if there's chemistry, not what color his skin is.

Every time I reread this thread, it really makes me mad. Did you ever confront her? She needs to be confronted!!

You're not racist at all. It's all a matter of what your personal preferences are and no one can control your initial attractions for anyone. I'm Korean but I've only dated one Korean ever since I started dating. The rest were of other ethnicities.

You can't help who you're attracted to and you shouldn't neccessarily go looking to date someone outside of that just to please others or fill some kind of equal opportunity quota.

For instance, I am hispanic but I've never dated a latino and my last four boyfriends have been tall, blonde, and blue eyed. That doesn't mean I'm racist because I've only been with "white guys"...or that I don't like "my own kind." It's just been my experience.